A Life In A Moment (14 page)

He nodded.
«Michalis and Ellie are happy.»

«Good
for them. I’m glad. I really am.»

«But?»

«But
I want them to come to terms with the fact that what they did was
wrong. If they’d ever realised that, I would have had an
apology by now. At least from Michalis... Thanos, the three of us
were best friends.»

He nodded
again but stayed silent. There was something he wanted to say.

«Come
on, speak up.»

He held
his tongue for a while longer. «I’ll tell you. It’s
one of the reasons I came», he finally said, taking a deep
breath. «Well, I know that they may not have apologised yet,
but they told me they want to make up for what they did so we can all
leave everything behind us.»

I nodded
my head. «And how do they propose making up for it?»

He took a
deep, visibly steadying breath. «They’re getting
married... and they want us as their best men.»

My
speechlessness lasted only a second, before I burst out:

«They’re
getting married?»

«In
two months’ time.»

«And
they want you and me as their best men? Are they off their rocker?»
I laughed out, incredulous.

«What
are you laughing at?»

«You
don’t know? Are you joking? Thanos, they are the very reason I
left everything I knew, and everyone I loved. I left because they
hurt me deep into the marrow of my bones, and now you think I can go
back and bless their marriage as their best man? After not even
trying to approach me for an apology?»

«I
know it’s absolute lunacy, but think of it as your chance to
once and for all unburden your new life here, with Angelique, from
all the ghosts from your past. Why carry these old burdens with you
into the future?»

 
«What
does Natalia think about all this?»

«Her
initial reaction was the same as yours, but now she agrees it’s
perhaps what you need to move on. To pull up the anchor that’s
holding you back in your past.»

«I
don’t know. Just let me think it over. I’ll give you an
answer before you leave.»

I already
knew my answer. My final decision would be negative, but I resolved
not to be stubborn or pigheaded. With an agreement not to broach that
subject for the next couple of days, we went back to the pub. Thanos
sat at the bar, while I was working.

«Everything’s
fine with Natalia?»

«Yeah,
all good!»

I looked
at him with affection. «You don’t know how happy I was to
learn about it. When I left, I was secretly hoping for it...»

He smiled.

«How’s
the photo shop going?»

«Just
fine. My father’s gradually retiring, so I’m gonna take
over. He’s not that familiar with new technologies.»

Our
conversation was interrupted by Pavlos, Samantha and Angelique. They
came, said hello and then, taking Thanos with them, sat at a table. A
little later, carrying her empty glass, Angelique came towards me and
put it on the counter. 

«Hey,
barman! I want a refill!»

«Hey,
cutie! Take it easy with the beer!»

She made a
cute grimace before getting serious. «What’s the matter?
You look rather pensive.»

I smiled,
taking my time before I replied. «You won’t believe
this.»

«What?»

«Michalis
and Ellie. They’re getting married and they want me and Thanos
as their best men.»

I saw on
her face the expression I must have had, when Thanos announced the
news.

«That
sounds... weird.»

«Exactly.»

«And
what are you gonna do?»

I shrugged
my shoulders, avoiding telling her that I had already made my
decision.

«I
think you should do it.»

«I
don’t know, Angelique. I’m afraid it’ll be...
bizarre.»

«After
so many years?»

I didn’t
know what to say, but I was sure I couldn’t continue the
discussion while I was working. «Let’s talk about it at
home, shall we?»

She
nodded her head and returned to the table with the rest of her
company. I understood that my refusal to accept Thanos’
proposal would lead her to the wrong conclusions about me. She
might think I still had feelings for Ellie, but the real reason was
much simpler and it had a name: 
Selfishness.

 
41

Before
saying or having the time to remember all that we wanted to, the day
for Thanos’ departure came. Before going to the airport, we
went out for our last walk in a park nearby. It was overcast, as it
always is when two best friends have to part. 

«So,
what’s your decision?»

«Haven’t
you figured that out yet?» I knew he had.

«I
have, but I haven’t understood the reasons.»

«It’s
one and only, Thanos. Within five years, at least one of them could
have called me or sent me a letter. They could have found a way to
come closer, fucking apologise and tell me we’ll stick together
and never fall apart», I gradually raised my voice. «Whatever!
They didn’t! How can they expect me to be generous? It’s
a matter of selfishness. We all went on with our lives, but I don’t
think I can be that dispassionate, especially with Michalis.»

He sighed.
«I don’t know, Vassilis.»

«Please,
do me a favour: just picture the moment we are all together again.
How do you think we’ll react and behave? What will they tell
me, and I them? How can I possibly bless the very two people who
turned my life upside down with no remorseful attempt at
reconciliation? All I wanted was just a fucking apology!»

«Perhaps
they’re hoping that once you’re back in Greece, they will
be able to offer you their apology, face to face.»

I had
restrained myself for days from asking, but now it was the best time
to ask:

«Honestly,
Thanos, have they ever confided in you that they’re sorry and
that they owe me an apology?»

His eyes
wandered from mine. I had deliberately placed him in a very awkward
position. He sighed.

«Okay.
You’re right. They don’t feel they owe you one.»

I
smiled in fragile peace. «See? It will be a mere waste of
words, if we discuss it any further. Go back, Thanos.
You
be their best man, and all’s well and good. Nobody’s
lost. Everyone’s doing fine.»

«Do
you know what? More than anyone else, I think it was me who wanted it
to be just like it used to be», he collapsed in bitterness. «I
was desperate I could talk you into it.»

I smiled
at the kindness of his heart, at his good intentions.

 
«Thanos,
it’s just that some things cannot happen, either because we
don’t want them to, or because they’re not meant to be.»

«It’s
such a damn shame», he looked away, shoulders slumped.

We walked
back to my place. He needed to get ready — his flight was that
evening.

«It
was so good to finally meet you after all Vassilis had told me about.
You must know you’re my friend now too, after all you’ve
done for him», Angelique chose to say as a farewell. «Have
a safe journey, and, please, tell Natalia I’ll persuade her
cousin to come to Greece soon.»

Thanos
smiled. «It was lovely to meet you too, Angelique. Natalia also
wants to meet you, so work your magic on Vassilis and come soon!»
he told her, looking pointedly at me.

Waving
goodbye to Angelique standing outside the house, we headed for
Heathrow in my brother’s Vauxhall.

«Ironic,
our two goodbyes, eh? Yours at the port, mine at the airport.»

«Let’s
just hope we won’t have to wait for another five years to pass
before we see each other again! You know how old we’ll be in
five years’ time?»

«Twenty-nine!»

«Imagine
— one of us could be a father by then.»

«Probably
you!» I winked roguishly.

«I
sure hope so», he said humbly.

He
looked me in the eye. «It was great seeing you again, buddy.
See you
soon
in Greece, on a happy occasion. Perhaps a wedding!» he said,
his turn to wink.

«I
sure hope so», I said in the same way he’s said it. «See
you soon, pal...»

All
he did was nod, and then walk away. Just like that, without a
goodbye
. I
didn’t stand to watch him leave; I too walked away. We had said
goodbye just like when we were kids, knowing we’d be meeting up
again in just a few hours. After all, we’d agreed we would be
seeing each other soon.

On a
happy occasion.

42

After the
wonderful interlude of Thanos’ visit, our lives returned to
normal: Angelique and our wandering walks, our beautiful nights, the
new billiards tournaments we had recently established at the pub…

One
typical Saturday evening in London, Greece was host to the wedding of
Michalis and Ellie. All the while I served beers and manned the till,
I found myself unable to focus on anything else. Perhaps in another
dimension or reality, Angelique and I might have been there too.

If we had
indeed flown over to visit in this imaginary realm, Uncle and Aunt
would be over the moon. Every night they would prepare at least seven
different dishes and three puddings, their usual way of celebrating.
I was sure Natalia would behave like the young girl I remembered, as
if not a single day had passed since we lived beneath the same roof,
like brother and sister. And I absolutely knew she would be enthused
by Angelique. Michalis’ last night of freedom would be
celebrated by a boisterous bachelor’s party. The morning of the
big day itself, we would help him dress at his house, and then, at
the church, when Ellie would be late, we would tease him she had cold
feet. After the ceremony, we would celebrate deep into the night,
showing Angelique how we Greeks rejoice.

No, there
was no way I could have done all of that. I was incredibly relieved I
had refused the invitation.

Around ten
that night, Angelique arrived at the pub. Settled into her usual bar
stool at the bar, she watched me in silence, as always. Her smile
appeared only when our eyes met.

«Tonight’s
the wedding.»

«I
know. I thought about it earlier.»

«I
am wondering what they’re all doing at this very moment...»

 
I
glanced at my watch. «Well, by now they will probably be
gathering for the celebration feast.»

Her
questions answered, she stayed silent again, like a small child’s
curiosity finally satisfied.

Once all
the customers had left, I told Mat he could duck out early, so
Angelique and I could finally be alone together while she helped me
with the night’s chores.

 
«The
billiard semi-finals are happening tomorrow, right?» she asked,
looking at the tournament agenda stuck to the wall at the bar.

«Yep,
and the finals are the day after tomorrow.»

«What’s
the prize?»

«The
winner’s weight in beer!»

She
giggled. «His belly will be so bloated he’ll never be
able to get close enough to a pool table to ever play again!»

I guffawed
at the image she described. «We’ve never played together,
have we? You’re always playing with Samantha and your other
friends.»

«When
are we supposed to play? You work every night!»

«Okay,
then. While I pack these glasses away, you play a warm-up, and then
we’ll play a round.»

«Get
ready to lose», she challenged me, knowing my penchant for
dares.

«Want
to take a bet I’ll beat you?»

«Sure.
What does the loser have to forfeit?»

«The
loser will have to… fulfil one of the winner’s wishes?»

«I’m
already thinking what I’ll be asking for», she said,
chalking her strategically chosen pool cue.

Glasses
packed away, I set the balls out on the table, letting her shoot
first.

 
«Ha!
I knew you couldn’t strike a ball — let alone win!»

My first
strike was successful, and so was my second. The third drew a blank.

«Thought
you’d be playing on your own?» she jibed, just before
another dud shot.

«I’m
still going to kick your pretty little ass!» I smirked, and
kept sinking every single ball until the black one stared me down
from across the table.

«And
that», I bowed with a flourish, «is how a game is won!»

It wasn’t
a particularly technical shot. Light, sized up, the ball glanced off
the rubber cushion and slid immaculately into the intended corner
hole.

 
«Piece
of cake! At long last I know why your games with you friends last an
age and a half! You each use up five goes a ball!»

Squeezing
between me and the table, she gave me the cue to draw the blinds. Our
mouths at once devoured each other, and tenderly caressed — an
unpredictable swinging between civilised love and untameable animal
rutting.

«Pavlos
doesn’t need to know about this», I said, looking quite
proudly at the sweaty imprint of Angelique’s back on the green
felt. We left the lights on in the hope their warmth would dry it by
morning.

«I
promised Thanos I’d twist your arm into going to Greece. We
didn’t take up the first chance», she said as we walked
home.

«
It was never really a
chance.
And you don’t need to talk me into it. We can go when...»

I left my
phrase unfinished, not knowing at all how to end it.

«How
do you feel now that they’re married?»

I shrugged
my shoulders. «I’m glad and sorry at the same time. It
was their own fault we weren’t at their wedding. Everything
would have changed with their apology.»