A Lineage of Grace (12 page)

SEEK AND FIND

Dear reader,

You have just read the story of Tamar as perceived by one author. Is this the whole truth about the story of Tamar and Judah? Jesus said to seek and you will find the answers you need for life. The best way to find the truth is to look for yourself!

This “Seek and Find” section is designed to help you discover the story of Tamar as recorded in the Bible. It consists of six short studies that you can do on your own or with a small discussion group.

You may be surprised to learn that this ancient story will have applications for your life today. No matter where we live or in what century, God’s Word is truth. It is as relevant today as it was yesterday. In it we find a future and a hope.

Peggy Lynch

LEADING HOME

SEEK GOD’S WORD FOR TRUTH

Go back and read the Bible passage quoted in “
Setting the Scene
.”

• What part did Judah play in this sibling rivalry story?

• What did he and his brothers tell their father?

• Based on this passage, list some possible reasons that Judah chose to leave his family at “about this time.”

• Have you ever felt ashamed of some careless act you did that affected others? Were you fearful of being found out? What choices did you make?

• Judah had choices. What could he have done differently?

Proverbs 28:13 tells us, “People who cover over their sins will not prosper. But if they confess and forsake them, they will receive mercy.”

Had Judah confessed to God and to his father, the story would have ended there. However, he did not. Instead, he got married! It would seem that Judah was on a pathway of separation from truth. He chose to run and hide rather than confront the real issues. He chose to handle things for himself rather than let God direct his path.

FIND GOD’S WAYS FOR YOU

• What have you learned about Judah so far? Would you consider him confrontational or passive? Why?

• In what ways do you identify with Judah?

• How do you deal with jealousy? with conflict?

• Where do you turn with life’s struggles—to yourself? to family and friends? to comfortable patterns? to God?

STOP AND PONDER

People who cover over their sins will not prosper. But if they confess and forsake them, they will receive mercy.

PROVERBS 28:13

Take a moment to ask God to search your heart. Be quiet before Him. Reflect on what He offers here.

FAMILY TIES

SEEK GOD’S WORD FOR TRUTH

Read the following passages:

About this time, Judah left home and moved to Adullam, where he visited a man named Hirah. There he met a Canaanite woman, the daughter of Shua, and he married her. She became pregnant and had a son, and Judah named the boy Er. Then Judah’s wife had another son, and she named him Onan. And when she had a third son, she named him Shelah. At the time of Shelah’s birth, they were living at Kezib.

When his oldest son, Er, grew up, Judah arranged his marriage to a young woman named Tamar. But Er was a wicked man in the Lord’s sight, so the Lord took his life. Then Judah said to Er’s brother Onan, “You must marry Tamar, as our law requires of the brother of a man who has died. Her first son from you will be your brother’s heir.”

But Onan was not willing to have a child who would not be his own heir. So whenever he had intercourse with Tamar, he spilled the semen on the ground to keep her from having a baby who would belong to his brother. But the Lord considered it a wicked thing for Onan to deny a child to his dead brother. So the Lord took Onan’s life, too.

Then Judah told Tamar, his daughter-in-law, not to marry again at that time but to return to her parents’ home. She was to remain a widow until his youngest son, Shelah, was old enough to marry her. (But Judah didn’t really intend to do this because he was afraid Shelah would also die, like his two brothers.) So Tamar went home to her parents.

GENESIS 38:1-11

Shem, Ham, and Japheth, the three sons of Noah, survived the Flood with their father. (Ham is the ancestor of the Canaanites.) From these three sons of Noah came all the people now scattered across the earth.

After the Flood, Noah became a farmer and planted a vineyard. One day he became drunk on some wine he had made and lay naked in his tent. Ham, the father of Canaan, saw that his father was naked and went outside and told his brothers. Shem and Japheth took a robe, held it over their shoulders, walked backward into the tent, and covered their father’s naked body. As they did this, they looked the other way so they wouldn’t see him naked. When Noah woke up from his drunken stupor, he learned what Ham, his youngest son, had done. Then he cursed the descendants of Canaan, the son of Ham:

“A curse on the Canaanites! May they be the lowest of servants to the descendants of Shem and Japheth.” Then Noah said, “May Shem be blessed by the Lord my God; and may Canaan be his servant. May God enlarge the territory of Japheth, and may he share the prosperity of Shem; and let Canaan be his servant.”

GENESIS 9:18-27

• According to the second passage, who was the father of the Canaanites?

Abraham found a wife for his son Isaac from afar—not a Canaanite. Esau displeased his father, Isaac, by marrying not one but two Canaanite women. Isaac sent his son Jacob far away to get a wife who was not a Canaanite.

• How did Jacob’s son Judah acquire a wife?

• Who helped him? Who were her people?

• Their firstborn child was a son. Judah named him Er. Who named Onan and Shelah?

• What kind of son was Er?

• According to the following passage, what does God hate?

There are six things the Lord hates—no, seven things he detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord among brothers.

PROVERBS 6:16-19

We read above that “Er was a wicked man.” The Hebrew word here translated as 
wicked
is also used in numerous other Bible passages. In Genesis 13, Sodom and Gomorrah were called wicked for their practice of sodomy; in the book of Esther, Haman is called wicked for plotting to exterminate the Jews; in Deuteronomy, anyone leading God’s people to worship false gods was called wicked.

• What did God do to Er?

• What might be the reason for Er’s death?

• What kind of man does God declare Onan to be?

• How did Onan displease God? What did God do to him?

• Judah’s remaining son, Shelah, should have been given to Tamar, according to marriage customs of the times. What reason did Judah give Tamar for delaying the marriage?

• What was the real reason?

FIND GOD’S WAYS FOR YOU

• Judah was grieving over the past as well as the present, and he was gripped with fear of the future. What fears grip you?

• How do you deal with fear?

Er and Onan did their own thing, and it led to death. As the book of Proverbs tells us, “There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death” (Proverbs 14:12). In contrast, Jesus said, “My purpose is to give life in all its fullness” (John 10:10).

• Do you know the One who gives life in all its fullness?

STOP AND PONDER

Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me”; “Look! Here I stand at the door and knock. If you hear me calling and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal as friends.”

JOHN 14:6; REVELATION 3:20

• Will you accept His invitation?

THE BRIDE

SEEK GOD’S WORD FOR TRUTH

Read the following passage:

But Er was a wicked man in the Lord’s sight, so the Lord took his life. Then Judah said to Er’s brother Onan, “You must marry Tamar, as our law requires of the brother of a man who has died. Her first son from you will be your brother’s heir.”

But Onan was not willing to have a child who would not be his own heir. So whenever he had intercourse with Tamar, he spilled the semen on the ground to keep her from having a baby who would belong to his brother. But the Lord considered it a wicked thing for Onan to deny a child to his dead brother. So the Lord took Onan’s life, too.

Then Judah told Tamar, his daughter-in-law, not to marry again at that time but to return to her parents’ home. She was to remain a widow until his youngest son, Shelah, was old enough to marry her. (But Judah didn’t really intend to do this because he was afraid Shelah would also die, like his two brothers.) So Tamar went home to her parents.

In the course of time Judah’s wife died. After the time of mourning was over, Judah and his friend Hirah the Adullamite went to Timnah to supervise the shearing of his sheep. Someone told Tamar that her father-in-law had left for the sheep-shearing at Timnah. Tamar was aware that Shelah had grown up, but they had not called her to come and marry him. So she changed out of her widow’s clothing and covered herself with a veil to disguise herself. Then she sat beside the road at the entrance to the village of Enaim, which is on the way to Timnah. Judah noticed her as he went by and thought she was a prostitute, since her face was veiled. So he stopped and propositioned her to sleep with him, not realizing that she was his own daughter-in-law.

“How much will you pay me?” Tamar asked.

“I’ll send you a young goat from my flock,” Judah promised.

“What pledge will you give me so I can be sure you will send it?” she asked.

“Well, what do you want?” he inquired.

She replied, “I want your identification seal, your cord, and the walking stick you are carrying.” So Judah gave these items to her. She then let him sleep with her, and she became pregnant. Afterward she went home, took off her veil, and put on her widow’s clothing as usual.

GENESIS 38:7-19

We learned in our previous lesson that Judah chose to marry a forbidden Canaanite girl. He also chose a Canaanite bride for his son. This young bride’s name was Tamar. Tamar means “date palm.” Date palms were highly valued trees, not only for their delicious fruit but also for their stately beauty and ability to thrive in the desert climate. This teenage bride was not named so by coincidence.

• What do we learn about Tamar from the preceding passage?

• What kind of choices (if any) did Tamar have?

• When she went back to her father’s house, do you think she expected to ever return to Judah’s household? Why or why not?

• At what point do you think Tamar realized there would not be another wedding?

Tamar decided to take things into her own hands. She may have thought,
Judah is a widower and free to take another wife. Certainly his own seed would secure his promise to me of offspring.
Or,
I’ll take only what is promised to me!

• When Tamar set her plans in motion, she changed out of her widow’s clothing. What did she do at the end of the passage? What is significant about this? (If you need a hint, consider the following: Did she stop any other men who were on their way to the sheepshearing? Did she stay on with Judah? Did she continue to play the harlot? Did she brag about her actions?)

This woman of action now waits. She waits to see if Judah will accept her solution to their dilemma. She waits to see if she will be the one to build Judah’s household. She waits to see the God of Judah judge between Judah and herself!

Read the following passage:

People may be pure in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their motives.

PROVERBS 16:2

• What does Proverbs 16:2 say about people’s opinion of themselves?

FIND GOD’S WAYS FOR YOU

• Up to this point in Tamar’s life she had been abused, used, abandoned, and forgotten. Have you ever been treated unfairly? How have you handled broken promises?

• In what ways do you identify with Tamar?

• Have you ever run ahead of God and tried to fix things yourself? If so, what was the outcome?

STOP AND PONDER

Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light.”

MATTHEW 11:28-30

Pause to consider the burden you are carrying. Will you do as Tamar did and try to handle it yourself? Or will you let Jesus take your grief, disillusionment, unfair treatment, and disappointments? Take on Jesus’ “yoke.” Allow Him to give you a hope and a future.

EXPOSURE

SEEK GOD’S WORD FOR TRUTH

Read the following passage:

About three months later, word reached Judah that Tamar, his daughter-in-law, was pregnant as a result of prostitution. “Bring her out and burn her!” Judah shouted.

But as they were taking her out to kill her, she sent this message to her father-in-law: “The man who owns this identification seal and walking stick is the father of my child. Do you recognize them?”

Judah admitted that they were his and said, “She is more in the right than I am, because I didn’t keep my promise to let her marry my son Shelah.” But Judah never slept with Tamar again.