A Lover's Wish (17 page)

He hung up the phone. A loud knock caused him to swing around to face the direction of his front door. He glanced down at the phone and arched a brow. He didn’t think that was Kianna, unless she was superwoman there was no way she could have reached his house from hers already. The knock came again and that got Dao’s feet unglued and sent him walking down the stairs toward the front door. He yanked the front door open to see Kianna standing there, “How’d you…”

Kianna waved the cell phone at him, “Can I come in?”

Dao nodded and reluctantly stepped aside. When he had seen her there, he felt awkward. Every moment since their return from China when they saw each other, he would take her in his

arms. He would kiss her until he couldn’t breathe. He would kiss her until his head swirled and his knees threatened to buckle. But after their argument, he did not know what to do, how to act around her. He watched her walk by him into the house and as he closed the door, images of her body writhing against his popped into his mind. But Dao knew that he couldn’t let himself go there. He couldn’t let himself back into that position where he needed to hold her. Dao wanted to hold her. “Would you like something to drink?” “No thank you,” she whispered before flopping

down into the sofa.

She looked tired and as though she had been crying. An overwhelming feeling to hold her, soothe her surged through him and Dao had to sit on his hands to keep himself away. “What do you want, Kianna?”

“I want—I want to know that you really love me,” she admitted. “I am scared that you only want sex and then you’re gone.”

“You’re telling me that my word means nothing to you,” it was a statement rather than a question. “When I told you that I love you so much that the thought of living without you hurts me, that means nothing to you. To you, those are just words.”

Kianna shook her head. “That’s not it. I’ve never had anyone love me, intimately. I have no

idea how to act around you when it comes to deep feelings.”

“How exactly is that my fault?” Dao inquired. “I-I don’t know,” Kianna stuttered. “I don’t

know what I’m doing.”

Dao rubbed his eyes before looking at her again. “So let me get this straight,” he began slowly. “I tell you I love you and you freak. I tell you we need to talk about what happens next, you freak and now you want me to say I’m sorry? Is that it?”

“No! That’s not it.”

“So you think I lied to you when I told you I loved you? Tell me the truth!”

“Yes,” she whispered.

That one word raked at Dao’s soul. His fist curled at his sides and he had to fight hard to avoid yelling his frustration for everyone to hear. This whole situation was starting to make him mad. “So why are you here?” Dao couldn’t deal anymore. “Why are you here when you don’t believe anything I say—when you can’t believe anything I say?”

“Because I want to,” Kianna pleaded. “I want to believe everything you say. Isn’t that enough?”

Dao shook his head. “No. It’s not enough. It can never be enough.” He pushed off the sofa and Kianna’s hands gripped his arm. He stumbled back against the seat.

“Why not?”

“Because!” Dao yelled, then caught himself. “Because every time I tell you I love you or every time I buy you a gift for no reason, you’re going to be sitting there analyzing what it means. You’re going to not trust my words and I’m going to see that look of disbelief in your eyes. You question my honour, Kianna, and that’s all I have left that’s worth anything.”

“But that’s not true!” “Kianna, I love you!” “No you don’t!”

“That, Kianna,” Dao spoke softly. “That right there is what I meant. You claim you trust me yet you won’t believe that I love you. How can you trust someone, but not their words? That makes no sense to me.”

Kianna couldn’t answer.

“Come on, Kianna,” Dao pleaded gripping her shoulders and shaking her slightly as though trying to make her come to her senses. “Make me understand. Explain it to me because as God is my witness I want to so bad.”

Kianna remained silent. Her mouth opened, but nothing left her lips.

Dao nodded and allowed his arms to fall back to his side. “You need to leave now—” Those last five words were the hardest he had ever had to utter. It was like pushing away your heart,

denying himself life. He was slowly dying inside. Somewhere along the way, Dao had fallen in love with Kianna so completely that he didn’t even know what hit him.

“I don’t want to go,” Kianna spoke defiantly. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“What do you want from me? All I can give you now is money. I have nothing else that is worth anything.”

“I don’t want your money!”

“Then I have nothing for you!” Dao snapped back. “I have nothing!” He meant to walk away but she stood and pressed herself against his chest. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and buried her face against his chest. He tried to push her off him, but she clung tightly. He fought to get her away from him, to keep her curves from being wrapped with his body. “Kianna…”

“Please don’t send me away,” Kianna whispered. “Make love to me instead. I love you, but I am terrified. Help me release, Dao.”

“I can’t help you,” Dao felt his voice caught in his throat. “I can’t help you. I don’t know how.”

K

ianna caressed Dao’s back, pulling even closer into his warmth. His words were husky and filled with pain. The only other man’s voice she had heard so sad was her father’s when he spoke about the death of her mother. She lifted her face from his chest, cradled his face and looked up into his eyes. She caressed his cheeks before pushing

up on her tiptoes.

Without hesitating, Kianna brushed her lips against his. She felt his body tense. She rubbed her tongue against his lower lip before nipping at his upper lip. She felt him tremble against her and she took that opportunity to let her tongue slip into his mouth.

The kiss started out soft, almost like a wisp of air flowing around them. She closed her eyes and tried to deepen the kiss, but Dao took her shoulders. At first she thought he was going to push her away, but then he took over the kiss. It

was rough, desperate and filled with enough passion and fire that Kianna whimpered weakly.

She spread her lips for him and he conquered her mouth. Their tongues danced together, sending torrents of electricity through her. When he lifted his head, she moaned and opened her heavy eyelids. “Make love to me, Dao.”

Something in his eyes made her slip from her coat and let it pool to the floor behind her. She began undoing her top, but Dao reached in and pulled at her shirt. The sound of ripping material swirled around her, but she couldn’t pull her eyes from Dao’s. His mouth went down savagely against her neck and all she could manage was his name. She licked her dry lips and turned her head to drop a kiss against his head. His hot, wet tongue danced against her flesh. She reached up and buried her fingers into his hair.

“Dao,” she whispered over and over again. His mouth moved around and kissed at her pulse before he rained kisses over the swells of her breasts. Her head fell backward. Her mouth hung open, but no sound left her body. Her eyes widened in unbridled pleasure for his mouth had engulfed one of her breasts. She tightened her fingers in his hair as his arms stole around her waist. Her back bent slightly backward as his mouth moved back to hers, rougher against hers.

She felt her feet leaving the ground and knew he was picking her up.

Dao Zhi isn’t just any man.

He carried her up the stairs and placed her gently against his bed. She watched him as he stripped for her. Slowly, intoxicatingly, teasingly as each bit of clothes left his sleek body and fell to the ground. She rolled to her knees and tried to touch him, but Dao pulled her hands away from his body. Gasping, she glanced up into his eyes and was even more turned on at the way they danced down at her. He had mystery in them and she smiled. He pushed her backward against the bed while climbing astride her body. When he bowed his head and took her nipple into his mouth, she arched upward against him.

With her mind gone, Kianna allowed the man she loved to take her. She made sounds in the back of her throat to encourage him and spurred him on. As he moved down her body, she tangled her fingers in his hair. His tongue dipped between her moist folds and stars went off behind her eyelids. Her legs fell weakly against the bed and her body jerked in relish of the pleasures that flowed through her. Long strokes of his tongue left her trembling and gasping for air. “Dao!” she cried out. He replied to her cries by adding speed to his tongue against the jewel of her desires.

Dao tasted from her eagerly. He had been starving for her and having her lying below him like she was, turned him into a ravenous beast. He growled greedily, sucking against the small, hard bud he found between the thick, moist folds. When her legs clamped against the sides of his head, he knew she was about to explode. He added pressure to the bud before sucking it into his mouth.

His name was ripped from her lips and he took great pleasure in that. His name from her lips was like a symphony to his ears—a beautiful symphony. He played her like a fine tuned harp, taking a soothing love from the sounds she made. Her fingers tightened in his hair and a smile graced his lips before he licked his lips and crawled up her body. He untangled her fingers from his hair and laced his fingers with hers. Pressing her hands back against the pillow, he looked down into her eyes, found her entrance with his arousal and entered her swift and hard. Her eyes widened, he watched her pupils dilate and her mouth sprang open.

No sound left her lips, but she didn’t break eye contact with him. Harder, faster his hips rolled against her. Looking in her eyes, watching the different emotions racing through those big orbs

made Dao feel so manly his hips began slamming against hers. When she climaxed, he could see it in her eyes and that was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He leaned in and took her lips. Without warning, his body erupted within hers. His head lifted sharply away from hers, his hair brushed his back as he growled.

“I love you, Dao,” Kianna whispered.

He felt her mouth against his chest, over a still taut nipple and Dao’s body jerked. His arms gave out and he fell against the bed beside her. “Kianna look into my eyes,” Dao spoke. He waited until she rolled with a moan to face him. “Say it again.”

“I love you.”

“I know you do,” Dao nodded and swallowed. “I know you do. The problem is if you believe that I love you.”

She nodded and when her hand lifted to caress his face, she pushed some hair from his eyes. “I know now you love me, ” she whispered.

A tear rolled down her cheeks and Dao used a large finger to wipe it away.

“The day I woke up and hurried to my parent’s home, my father was explaining to me that my mother was dead. I knew no matter their faults, they loved each other dearly, more than life itself. The sound of your voice when you asked me to leave was the same sound as my father’s voice.”

Excitedly, Dao pushed to his elbows and cradled her face. “I love you. I love you,” he whispered over and over until her body shook with sobs. Then tenderly, he bowed his head and took her lips. The kiss wasn’t because he had a choice. The kiss was out of necessity. The kiss was for soothing and loving.

“After my father killed himself, I hated him for it.”

Dao pulled her into his arms.

“I blamed him for leaving me alone and for taking my dreams. The dreams weren’t to make millions of dollars or to find prince charming, I just wanted to travel and I lost that dream. But I never once considered that he had no idea how to live without my mother. Jace tried to explain it to me, but I didn’t care—I didn’t want to listen to her. But I know now how my father felt. He must have felt alone, desperate, confused and scared as hell. Can you imagine loving someone your whole life—then one day, poof! She’s gone. Just like that with no explanation. How do you mourn and move on from that? How do you move on from kissing this person good morning for almost forty years to nothing?”

Dao listened to her confession. He let her talk all she wanted about her father and became a sponge for her. He held her while she snaked a finger over his chest in an absentminded fashion,

not to tease, but because she needed to do it. From time to time, he kissed her head and when she went silent, he spoke, “It must have been wonderful to love someone like that. I can’t promise that I love you that much, but I do know that it comes damn close. It almost killed me to ask you to leave when all I wanted to do was hold you and never let you go.”

“I know you don’t love me that much yet.” Kianna inhaled deeply. “It’s only natural that it grows, right?”

“Right,” Dao spoke softly. “But I can promise you one thing, I want it to grow into a love more powerful than your parents because you deserve that and so much more.”

“Have I told you today what a wonderful man I think you are, Dao Zhi?” She smiled.

That smile caused Dao’s world to break out into a world of glorious light. “Not today.” He smirked up at her.

“Well—” She kissed him on the forehead, then his lips. “You are a very wonderful man and I love you.”

Kianna’s head was against Dao’s chest as the morning light floated in through the bedroom window. One of his arms was wrapped around

her and she had her leg tossed over his. She looked up and kissed his chin, causing her to grin. His beard had grown overnight and his chin was rough. She caressed his chest, tweaking a nipple. When he inhaled deeply, she lifted her body to see that he was still asleep.

Kianna moved her body and pressed her face into his neck. Inhaling deeply, she wondered what would happen next. She hadn’t meant to sleep there the whole night. Her mind began firing. Had she overstayed her welcome? That thought scared her for she had never spent the night at his place before—except for China and she hadn’t really gotten much sleep there. She tried to get up, but Dao’s arms tightened around her hips.