A Man of His Word (37 page)

Rachel couldn’t imagine what Tobias had to say. He seemed uneasy. Disconcerted, as if he were about to jump out of his own skin. Instead of his usual relaxed stance, his hands were thrust deeply inside the pockets of his trousers, and his full lips were pressed tightly together.

Christian moved to stand next to Rachel. He put one hand on the back of her waist, which had been his habit whenever they were in public together. As if he were branding her as his own. The more he did it, the less she appreciated the symbolism. “What is it that you want to tell us?”

He took a deep breath and looked at Rachel. “I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. I acted like a
dummkopf
at the singing last month. I apologize.”

She didn’t know what to say. That had happened almost three weeks ago, and she hadn’t thought about it since. Well, not too often anyway. Okay, more than she wanted to admit, but still, she had assumed he’d forgotten all about the incident by now.

Christian looked confused. “What are you talking about?” He glanced at Rachel.

Tobias held her gaze, and she could barely breathe. His eyes were filled with something she’d never seen before, an emotion that made her run hot and cold at the same time.

“Did I miss something?” Christian said.

She ignored him. How could she be expected to pay attention to Christian with Tobias looking at her like that?

Tobias moved toward her. “Rachel, I’m sorry for every dumb thing I’ve ever said to you. For all the stupid things I’ve done. I promise, things will be different from now on.”

“How?” She could barely speak, her mouth had gone dry.

He took another step. “Trust me. I promise you, they will.”

“Will someone please tell me what’s going on here?”

Tobias glanced at Christian. “I need to apologize to you, friend.”

“Apologize?”

“For what I’m about to say.” He looked back to Rachel and leaned toward her. “You can’t marry Christian, Rachel.”

Her eyes grew wide at his unexpected words. “Why?”

“Because. I want you to marry me.”

Rachel literally could not speak. She tried to form words, any words, but nothing came out of her mouth. Tobias asking her to marry him rendered her speechless.

Christian, however, was not. “I don’t know what you’re up to, Byler. If this is a joke, it isn’t funny.”

“It’s not a joke. I’m sorry, Christian, but I’m in love with her.”

“You’re what?” Finally finding her voice, she had to fight to keep from swaying sideways. “What did you just say?”

“I love you, Rachel. I should have told you that night at the Yoders’, but I chickened out. I should have asked you to marry me that night, but I didn’t. I made a mistake, and I’m trying to fix it.”

“Wait a minute.” She held up her hands and took a step back. “You made a mistake by not asking me to marry you?”

“
Ya
. Because if I had, you wouldn’t be with him.” He gestured to Christian, who was glaring at him with open hostility. “Look, I’m not doing this to hurt you. You’re my friend.”

“Some friend. You’re trying to steal my girl.”

“I’m not trying to steal her.” He faced Rachel. “I’m giving her another choice. Rachel, tell me you don’t love me. Tell me you love Christian, and that you want to marry him. If I hear those words, I’ll walk away right now, and I’ll never bother you again. I promise.”

Rachel looked at him, then at Christian. She didn’t say anything for a long moment.

“Rachel?” Christian dropped his arm from her waist. “Tell him. Tell him you love me.”

Turning, she faced Christian. “Do you love me?”

Christian gaped. “Of course I do. Why would you even ask?”

“Because you’ve never told me. I’ve never heard you say the words.”

“Of course I’ve said them.” He frowned. “Haven’t I?”

She shook her head. “
Nee
. You haven’t. And I need to hear them.”

He lowered his voice. “I love you. I’ll tell you that for the rest of our lives if you need me to.”

“Why? Why do you love me? Better yet, why do you want to marry me?”

Christian backed away. “Wait a minute, why am I the one being questioned here? You should be asking Tobias this.
Nee
, you should be telling him to leave.”

“I can’t. Not until I have my answer.” Her heart thrummed in her chest, threatening to explode.

“You already know why I want to marry you, Rachel. We’ve talked about this.”

“We’ve talked about where we’ll live, and how many children we’ll have. But we’ve never talked about us, Christian. We’ve never shared our feelings.” Her body shook with emotion. “I’ve never said I love you either. I don’t think you even noticed.”

Christian’s eyes hooded. “Rachel . . . what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I can’t marry you, Christian. Things don’t feel right between us. They never have.”

“Is this because of him?” Christian pointed at Tobias.

“
Nee
.”

“Then you don’t love him?”

She gazed at Tobias. Handsome, charming, unpredictable Tobias. He drove her crazy, and she knew he always would. Yet she couldn’t imagine living without him.

His mouth curved in smile, one that promised a life of passion, consternation, and love.

“
Ya
,” she said. “I love him.” Then she turned to Christian. “I’m sorry. I really am.”

“That’s how you really feel?”

Rachel nodded. “
Ya
.”

Christian shook his head, his shoulders slumping. “I guess there’s nothing more for me to say.” Without looking at either of them, he spun around and went to his buggy. Tobias and Rachel moved out of the way as he turned the vehicle around. When he pulled up alongside them, he stopped. “I do care for you, Rachel. I just want you to know that.”

“I know. I care for you too.”

“But that’s not enough, is it?”

“
Nee
. It’s not enough.”

He looked at Tobias, his eyes narrowing. “If you ever hurt her, you’ll have me to deal with.”

“I understand.”

Christian slapped the reins on the horse’s flanks and drove off. Rachel turned to Tobias, apprehension suddenly filling her. “Did you mean what you said?”

“About loving you?
Ya
.” He leaned in closer. “About marrying you? Absolutely. I love you, Rachel. I know my past actions have shown otherwise. All I’m asking for is a chance to prove how much I want to be your husband. To fall asleep with you at night and wake up with you in the morning. To be with you for the rest of our lives . . . until death do us part.”

His words etched themselves on her heart. That was what she needed to hear, and they were words Christian would have never been able to say, not with the sincerity and love Tobias had. Oh, how much she loved this man, more than she ever thought possible. More than anything she wanted to fall into his arms and accept his proposal. But she couldn’t resist holding him off a little longer.

“Well, I do have a wedding dress that’s almost finished.” She tapped her chin with her finger. “Getting married to you would be the practical thing to do, since
Mami
and
Daed
have made so many preparations already.”

“I just told you how much I love you and you’re talking about being practical?”

“I can’t help it. I’m a practical woman.”

“And I’ve never done anything practical in my life.”

Rachel grinned. “It’s never too late to start.” She took his hand, surprised by her boldness, yet the gesture felt completely natural. “I can’t wait to marry you, Tobias Byler.”

“Because it’s practical?” Even though the words were said in a teasing way, she could see the faint glimmer of worry in his eyes.

“
Nee
.” She squeezed his hand, happy to see the joy suddenly reflected in his expression. “I can’t wait to marry you . . . because I love you.”

Chapter 17

G
abe stood on Moriah’s front porch, hesitating to knock. Frankly, her rejection had started to wear on him, and he wondered if he should heed his father’s advice and let her go. But something inside him refused to give up, not yet.

“Father God,” he whispered. “Please, let her open the door to me. Help me to reach her. I can’t do this without you.” Bolstered by his prayer, he rapped on the frame of the screen door. Emma answered right away.

“Gabriel,” she said through the screen. Although Emma hadn’t always been home when Gabe stopped by, he knew she was aware of his frequent visits. Still, she didn’t seem annoyed with his persistence. Quite the opposite. “It’s
gut
to see you.
Wie geht’s
?”

“
Gut
,
danki
. Is Moriah home?” His standard question, which was always met with Moriah’s standard answer—she was too busy to have visitors. He fully expected to hear those same words from Emma.

“
Ya
, she is.” Emma opened the door and stepped outside on the front porch. “Rebekkah put Moriah on bedrest this week,” Emma said, her voice nearly a whisper.

His heart jumped with apprehension concerning the midwife’s decision. “Is she okay? Is the baby all right?”

“The baby is fine. It’s Moriah she’s worried about. She’s not getting enough rest, and she won’t listen to anyone when we tell her to take it easy.” Emma sighed. “I never knew my
dochder
had such a stubborn streak. Rebekkah told her flat out that if she didn’t follow orders, the baby would be in jeopardy. Only then would Moriah listen.”

“Maybe I should come back another time,” Gabe said, even though he didn’t want to leave. This was as close as he’d gotten to her in weeks.

“
Nee
. She’s asleep on the couch right now. Go in and sit down, then I’ll wake her. I must apologize for her rudeness, Gabriel. You must understand, she hasn’t been herself, not for a long time.”

“No need to apologize. I only want to talk to her for a moment. I won’t bother her too long.”

“
Danki
.” She smiled. “I know how much you care for her. I was concerned at first. After everything she’s endured, I thought the last thing she needed was another suitor, especially so soon. But I can see that this is different. You’re different. You’re not like . . .”

“My brother?”

Emma nodded.

“You’re right, I’m not. Somehow I have to convince Moriah of that.”

“I know you will, just as you have convinced me. Come, let’s go inside.”