A Man to Hold on to (A Tallgrass Novel) (27 page)

Not bothering with gloves—Ercella said they took the pleasure from digging in dirt—he and Therese scooped handfuls of potting soil into the first pot. “Poor guy. So naïve. I’d almost feel sorry for you if I didn’t envy you.”

Help me raise her. Marry me, make a family with me, let me help you with Abby and Jacob, and you help me with Mariah.
The words almost slipped out, though any rational person would say it was way too soon to be so damned serious.

But if there was one thing Logans didn’t worry about, it was being rational, especially when it came to their love lives.
Things happen when they happen.
That was their family motto. That was why Ercella had four more kids with his father after it became obvious Max wasn’t father material. Why Martha and Daisy had married right out of high school. Why Ford had moved to Arizona to be with a woman he hadn’t yet had a single date with.

Things happen when they happen.

And sometime in the last week and a half, he’d fallen in love with Therese Matheson.

Though Mariah had requested spaghetti for dinner, Therese offered a compromise with a ziti, mozzarella, and pepperoni casserole from the freezer, a salad, toasted Italian bread, and spread made from garlic cloves simmered in olive oil. It was Abby’s favorite dinner, and one Jacob, aka the human disposal, liked as well. They ate in the kitchen, an extra chair squeezed into the table for four, and it was fun. Normal. The way a family dinner should be.

Not that they were technically a family, a snide voice inside reminded her. Someday they might be.

Or maybe not.

From her chair, Therese could see the three pots, planted with bright flowers, lining the edge of the patio, and the sight made her smile. Who else would have thought to bring her flowers, everything needed to plant them, and to help with the planting? They meant more to her than any other gift Keegan could have offered. They touched her heart and in a good way, all happiness, no sorrow.

When the doorbell rang, Jacob was already on his way to the island to refill his plate, so he said, “I’ll get it,” and headed that way. A moment later a soft female voice filtered down the hallway, not Carly’s, not Nicole’s, and a moment after that, he returned to the kitchen, his face set in a stark scowl. As he veered toward the table, second helping forgotten, Therese saw the woman, so petite his broad shoulders had hidden her from view, and her heart stopped.

“Baby!” Catherine exclaimed, opening both arms wide. “I’ve come to take you home!”

Abby’s shriek split the air, and her chair tumbled back as she jumped to her feet and raced into her mother’s arms. Keegan caught the chair and set it down again, his gaze moving from the tearful reunion to Therese, then back again. She was too numb to move, too stunned to breathe.

Catherine wanted Abby back. Therese’s prayers had been answered.

And all she could think was
No no no!

“Oh, Mom, I’ve been hoping and hoping, but it’s been so long and I thought— This is the best surprise ever! Ooh, it’s so perfect!” Abby’s voice broke, and she hid her face in her mother’s shoulder.

Cold emptiness spread through Therese. She was aware of Jacob sliding his chair a little closer to hers, of Keegan reaching under the table to take her hand, but only in a distant way. She couldn’t reach out to Jacob—who clearly wasn’t the
baby
his mother had missed so much—or return the squeeze of Keegan’s hand. She could hardly register the bewildered look Mariah wore, clearly aware of the sudden tension in the room. The girl slid out of her chair, knocking her cushions to the floor, and circled the table to Keegan, climbing into his lap, whispering, “Daddy.”

See?
she wanted to say.
I told you she’d call you Daddy.

Too soon—for Abby’s sake, at least—Catherine pushed her back, slid her arm around her shoulders, and beamed a smile at the rest of them. “Hello, Therese.”

“Catherine.”

Abby gestured. “That’s Keegan and his daughter, Mariah, and this is my mom, Catherine Matheson.” There was such pride in her voice, such joy in her smile. She looked like a little girl who’d never seen a holiday getting a lifetime of Christmases and birthdays all at once.

Catherine’s interest in the Logans was somewhere between nil and none. Keegan was obviously a soldier, and she’d hated the Army, and she didn’t even glance at Mariah. When she could ignore her own children for months at a time, why would she notice someone else’s?

“I probably should have called,” Catherine said, “but I really wanted to surprise Abs. So I took a few days off, packed my bags, and here I am.”

“Sit down, Mom,” Abby encouraged, taking the pillows Mariah had sat on to a counter stool and pushing Catherine toward the chair. “Are you hungry? We have pasta and salad and garlic bread.”

“You know I don’t eat pasta or bread. All those carbs. Besides, I had a late lunch.”

All those carbs.
Therese studied her as she primly sat in the chair and crossed her legs. They’d met face to face fewer than a dozen times in the years they’d known each other, usually for less than ten minutes. Still, the changes were striking. She was thin, with surgically enhanced boobs that had apparently been part of finding herself. Her dark hair was bleached to a silvery-white blond that didn’t exist in nature, her brown eyes were now brilliant sapphire, and her forehead was so smooth that Therese would bet she couldn’t show surprise if she wanted to, thanks to the miracle of Botox.

“So when do we leave?” Abby asked. “Have you already found a new place to live? Is it a house or another apartment? Do you know what school we’ll be going to? Maybe I can meet some kids on Facebook who go there so I won’t be totally new on my first day.”

Catherine patted her leg. “We’re going to stay in the apartment I have for now.”

Abby’s nose wrinkled. “But it’s only two bedrooms. That means Jacob will have to sleep on the couch.”

Jacob snorted, then went still as a look came over Catherine’s face. Discomfort. Awkwardness. She tried to disguise it by smiling at her son, but it was so obviously phony that even Mariah could see through it.

“Well, baby, I thought…You know I love you, Jacob, but…right now it would just be you and me, Abs. Jacob’s got his school and his sports and his friends, and…” Catherine shrugged helplessly.

Had Therese thought she’d turned cold before? Now she was absolutely icy inside. Catherine wanted only Abby, not Jacob. She’d already abandoned him once, and now she was rejecting him again, displaying such incredible selfishness that Therese wanted to smack her. She wanted to throw her out of the house, to magically erase the last five minutes from everyone’s memories.

“I’ve got school and friends, too,” Abby said, sounding confused. “I’ll go to a new school and make new friends. So will Jacob. Of course he’s got to go with us. You can’t—We can’t—”

“That’s okay,” Jacob said flatly. “I didn’t like California. I’d rather stay here.” Scowling hard, he pushed out of his chair. “I’ve got homework to do.” On the way from the room, he grabbed a handful of cookies from the platter on the island, then stalked off.

Therese’s heart ached, but she couldn’t move to go after him. She was barely managing to suck air into her lungs. Keegan gave her hand another squeeze. “We’ll go upstairs,” he murmured. Grateful, she nodded, and he and Mariah left the kitchen. A moment later, his treads sounded softly on the stairs.

“Well, that wasn’t the best way to break the news, was it?” Catherine brushed at her shoulder, surreptitiously checking for any stains Abby might have transferred in her hug—she couldn’t fool a kindergarten teacher—then sighed, reminding Therese where Abby got her flair for drama. “But then, there’s no best way to tell him he’s got to stay here a while longer, is there?”

A lot of the thrill had gone from Abby’s face. She’d dreamed about moving back with Catherine from the time she’d been sent away, but she’d always dreamed Jacob would be going with her. They were sister and brother, a team that mostly ignored or called each other names, but still a team. “I don’t understand why he can’t come, too.”

Catherine’s perfectly glossed lips curved into a perfectly phony smile. “It’s not forever, baby. I just think you and I need some girl time. Remember how he spent spring break? Playing that stupid video game, grumbling along behind us while we shopped, not interested in anything we did except when he was going to eat again.”

“Well, Mom, we didn’t do anything any boy would have liked besides eat. It was all pretty much about you and me.”

Catherine’s smile somehow got more perfect. God help her, the woman didn’t realize she’d just been subtly chastised by her daughter. “Exactly. So you and I will get our girl time out of the way, and soon we’ll send for Jacob.”

“Soon.” Abby repeated the word quietly, as if she was trying to encourage herself to believe it. She must have done a decent job because the confusion gave way to sheer excitement again. “I’m so glad to see you, Mom, this is so cool! When will we be leaving for California?”

With a slender hand bearing more rings, possibly, than Therese owned, Catherine smoothed a strand of Abby’s hair. “I’m not sure, Abs. There are a few things I need to settle with Therese first. But I’m staying in town. I’ve found a quaint little bed-and-breakfast that’s almost like a real hotel, and I’d like for you to stay there with me.”

“Wow! Can I, Therese?”

Tiny lines marred the corners of Catherine’s mouth. “Of course you can, baby. I’m your mother.”

Bitch. Traitorous, coldhearted, selfish, manipulative
— Therese interrupted her thoughts and forced a smile for Abby, still looking at her expectantly. “Sure, you can. Just be sure you’re not late for school in the morning.”

Why was it an excited shriek was so much less painful to the ears than an infuriated one when the pitch was the same? Abby jumped from her chair, gave Catherine a hug, then raced toward the stairs. “You guys settle, and I’ll get packed!”

The only thing to settle in the wake of her going was silence, cold and uncomfortable.

Jacob stood at the window, shoulders hunched, staring out. He’d been facedown on the bed when Keegan and Mariah came in, then had sat up rapidly, swiped his hand over his face, and gone to the window. They hadn’t caught a glimpse of his face since then, and he’d said nothing beyond his initial
Go away
when they knocked.

No eleven-year-old boy liked an audience for his tears.

Keegan was sitting in a straight-backed desk chair, and Mariah stood between his knees, backed up close to him. He liked that he was her safe place in a moment of doubt and wished he could be the same for her brother.

“I remember one time when my dad left,” he said at last. “He’d been living with us for about eight months, which was some kind of record with him. Long enough for me to get used to having him there. I was fifteen, and it was kind of a big time for me. School was letting out for the summer, I was getting this big award that was really a big deal, I was turning sixteen and getting my driver’s license and starting my first job, all in a couple of days. My mom had a big party planned with the entire family, even the second cousins of second cousins we hardly knew.”

Jacob was so still it was impossible to tell if he was listening or practicing his talent for tuning people out. Too bad he couldn’t tune out his disaster of a mother.

“I got home from school the day before the party, and Dad was packing his bags. I couldn’t believe he was leaving like that, sneaking out before Mom got home from work, skipping out on my birthday. He shrugged and said, ‘I don’t question the itch. When it’s time to go, I go.’ The itch was what he called his desire to move on to another place. He didn’t say congratulations or happy birthday. He didn’t even say good-bye. He just finished packing and walked out. We didn’t see him again for four years.”

A long heavy moment passed before Jacob asked, “Do you hate him?”

“No. But for a long time I wouldn’t have pissed on him if he was on fire.”

His response choked a laugh from Jacob. He sniffled loudly, then wiped his nose again as he sprawled onto the bed. “The stupid thing is, I don’t even want to live in California. It was boring, and my friends and my coaches are here, and—and Therese would be all alone if Abby and I both left. It’s just…”

It would warm Therese’s breaking heart to know that, even when he was hurting, Jacob was thinking of her. She’d felt hopeless for so long, but clearly she was doing something right.

Throwing Catherine out would be the right thing, too, but he hadn’t heard the bounce of a plastic-surgery-enhanced body hitting the front sidewalk yet.

But right now he had to focus on Jacob. “It’s hard when you’re not invited even when you don’t want to go.”

“Yeah.”

“Your mom didn’t mean to hurt you. She just wasn’t thinking.”

“Oh, she was thinking. She was thinking of herself and her BFF Abby. The whole time we were there, she acted like she was her sister instead of her mom. It was like I wasn’t even there.” Silence. “My dad said she had issues.”

Mother issues, responsibility issues, self-esteem issues. And being Abs’s new best friend wasn’t going to help. If Abby was gorgeous at thirteen, she was going to be incredible at eighteen and amazing at twenty-five, while Catherine was going to continue to age. Now she could take pride in a beautiful daughter, but in a few years, she wouldn’t appreciate finding herself in Abby’s shadow.

“Abby always wanted Dad and Mom to get back together, even after he married Therese. But I didn’t. All they did was fight and slam doors and not speak to each other. He was a lot happier with Therese.”

And yet he’d still been unfaithful to her. A drunken mistake? A lapse in judgment? Maybe. Not that there was enough booze in the world to make Keegan turn to another woman if Therese were waiting at home for him.

Though without that infidelity, Mariah wouldn’t be here, resting her elbows on Keegan’s legs, swaying side to side. Every cloud had its silver lining, Granny Dupree used to say.