A Man's Heart (34 page)

“Hey.” “Yes?”

“Are you still okay with this? I thought we'd agreed a long time ago our part in this was to get Cruz and Jules back on track.”

She touched a tissue to her eyes. “It's just harder than I'd imagined.”

“Yeah, when the heart's involved, it is usually tough, but we're doing the right thing. Cruz needed time to get over his hurt; the past few months have weakened his resistance toward Jules, and anyone can see that Jules is still in love with the guy.”

“You think that Cruz is now able to move on?”

“Getting close. Real close. Give him another week or two without her around and he'll see the wisdom of swallowing his pride and facing the inevitable—”

“I wish she would stay here—for purely selfish reasons.” Crystal had gotten used to waking up to the smell of Jules's fresh brewed coffee, though she'd never drink a cup. She loved to hear her puttering around the house, in the bathroom, watching the early morning news, reading the newspaper. Their long walks on the beach, gathering shells. Loneliness settled around her, and the small living quarters suddenly felt very large and empty. Would she ever be as content here when Jules left?

“Yeah? You two have gotten pretty close lately.”

“We have, and that's an added blessing that Sophie never thought about.”

“I wouldn't bet on it.”

She frowned. “You don't think —”

“That Sophie knew how much Jules would need a sister once she passed on? I'd think that—in a New York minute.”

Crystal shook her head, stunned by the woman's perception.

“Face it, Cris. There's a mate for every one of us, and—”

“Cruz and Jules are one whether they like it or not,” Crystal finished the thought.

“He doesn't like it,” Adan chuckled. “But he's stuck with it.” Crystal smiled. “Ever thought about vacationing in Destin?”

His tone sobered. “Every day.

I miss you.” “I miss you too. So are you going to come and visit?”

“You never know; one night you could look up and I'll be standing on your doorstep. You can show me the sights.”

“I'd love that, Adan.”

“Then count on it,” he said. “You are coming home for the holidays?”

Home. Crystal never thought of Washington State as home, but the past few months had altered her perception on a lot of things. She had a home, Blue Bayou. There were pleasant memories there as well as unpleasant ones. “I wouldn't miss it.”

“I'll have the tree, presents and turkey. You bring dessert.”

“Make sure it's a live tree.” She missed the fragrance of a freshly cut tree, a fire burning in the fireplace. “What's your favorite pie? Pecan? Pumpkin?”

“I was thinking of you.”

“Oh.” His implication registered: she was dessert.

She giggled. Now that had to be the sweetest thing a man had ever said to her. “Jules wonders why Cruz doesn't call.”

“Cruz is wondering why she hasn't called. He's a coward; I don't know about her. If he hears her voice, he worries that he'll be on a plane to Florida to bring her home. Why don't you call us in a few minutes?”

“Better yet, give me half an hour and you phone us. Jules would like that.”

“What are you doing in the meantime?”

“Me? I'm about to advance to stage two of the plan.”

Jules was still staring at the sky when Crystal returned. “Just look at this night.”

Crystal paused in the doorway and closed her eyes. “Ah … salty air. Don't you love it?” After a moment, she opened her eyes. “Have you ever made a sand angel?”

“A what?”

“Sand angel.” She reached for Jules's hand. “Come on. The tide receded hours ago, and the sand is the perfect texture.”

“Crystal! It's —” Jules held her wrist to the doorway light checking the time. “It's eleven o'clock.”

“So what? We can catch the late church service in the morning and sleep in. Come on. It'll be fun.”

Fun.
Until this trip, Jules had never particularly associated the word with Crystal. Fun was Sophie. Girl talks, shopping, movies. She and Crystal had done all that and more lately, and the emptiness she'd felt since Sophie's death was starting to lift. Ever so slightly, but getting more comfortable with the idea that her best friend was gone. Was it possible that God would provide her a Sophie for every season of her life?

Jules slowly crawled from the comfortable reclining chair.
Sand angels.
She could just imagine the grit they'd track in the house.

Halfway down the beach, Crystal broke into a trot. The choppy waves were thigh to waist deep. Wind whipped her hair and she sang out with the joy of life. “Isn't God's handiwork divine?”

Trudging through the sand, Jules focused on the night. Stars hung suspended overhead. A full moon bathed the swirling foam. Salty air incited her senses. It was the most beautiful
sight she'd ever witnessed and she wished with all of her heart that Cruz was there, walking beside her. Indeed, God's handiwork should be admired.

She paused, tilting her face up to catch the soft breeze blowing off the waters. Fish and algae. Tide pools rushing in, and then out. The world was at peace with itself here, relishing its creation, the earth praising its Creator in the gentle white foam riding the crest of tranquil waves. Blue Bayou and all she held dear were thousands of miles away from Destin, and yet she relished these gifts, longing for the lives she loved so far away. Cruz. Ethan. Olivia.

Casting her sandals aside, she broke into a run and tried to catch Crystal. Wind caught her hair as her bare feet flew over the damp sand. Maybe she could outrun her emotions, run so long and so hard that she would forget that Cruz ever existed.

Ahead, Crystal dropped to the moist sand and began to move her arms, up and down, making a sand angel in the receding waves. When Jules approached, she dropped to her knees, then rolled to her back and engaged in the childhood antic. Above, a sky more beautiful than jewels twinkled.

“Isn't this the most peaceful experience?” Crystal reached out to take hold of Jules's hand. Though Cruz was thousands of miles away, he was here, beneath this breathtaking canopy of stars. “If it's meant to be, he'll come around.”

Only Sophie had known the true depths of Jules's love, yet tonight Crystal unaccountably felt it. “I've lost him forever,” Jules whispered — or whimpered. She did that a lot lately.

“Perhaps, but there is the matter of forgiveness.”

Yes, there was that matter. Pop couldn't forgive Mom and it led to a life of misery. Would the same happen to Cruz?

“How many times can a man forgive a woman for walking away from him?”

“Seven times seven?”

“Your faith never falters.”

“Didn't Pop teach you the value of trust?”

“I don't think he knew it himself, but regardless, I don't see that either one of us had much to trust in when we were children. I don't know about you, but I lived in a world where I was certain that one or the other would leave us one day, and they did.”

Crystal rolled to face her in the moonlight. “We can't choose our parents. Or our childhoods, but we can choose our adult lives. We can't let Mom and Pop's shortcomings determine ours.”

“So what are you saying? That I should keep trying with Cruz, even when I've made a fool of myself endless times?”

“You love him, don't you? He's the only man in the world that you feel this ravenous tie to?”

“I suppose there is this indelible bond between us. Maybe more a gut feeling that he's the one — always will be.”

“Then you should go back and work out the problem. Obviously he hasn't found anyone to take your place. It will take him time to forgive and regain trust, but you're up to the wait.”

Squeezing Crystal's hand, Jules relented. It could possibly take the rest of her life, but the goal was worth it. Beginning now, she chose to no longer fear. It wouldn't be easy, but if she were willing to fail, there would be no need to fear—especially if Cruz were the goal. If she had created the problem, there was still hope that she could undo it. He was speaking to her. They had a bond through the children.

Later the sisters walked hand in hand back to the shell shop. Jules turned on the hose and rinsed the sand off her, and then turned the hose on Crystal. The cold water brought a shrill and a retaliatory water fight. Crystal armed with buckets from the water barrel, Jules wielding the hose. Both were laughing so hard they almost missed the ringing phone.

Dropping her bucket, Crystal mopped water out of her eyes. “I'll get it.”

Toweling dry, Jules trailed her into the house in time to catch the first part of the conversation. Adan was on the other end of the line

“I'm back. What's plan two?”

“No kidding!” Crystal squealed. “That's wonderful! She played her part. “In how long?”

“Amazing.”

“What?” Jules mouthed. “Is something wrong with one of the kids?”

Shaking her hand, Crystal listened. “Truly fantastic. I'll bet Cruz is happy.”

Jules tugged on Crystal's blouse.
“What?
”

Her sister shrugged her hand aside. “Oh, swimming. And making sand angels.

“Yeah, hard life.” She flashed a grin. “Hey, Adan—hold on. Jules is going ballistic.” She covered the mouthpiece with her hand. “Adan potty-trained Livvy in three days.”

“He what?”

“Potty-trained Livvy.” Another grin. “And you thought they couldn't do it.”

“You read my thoughts.” Jealousy coursed through Jules. She wanted to train Livvy. Show Cruz what a capable mother and potty-trainer she could be. A second even more agonizing
reaction hit her. Adan would make a tremendous father. No matter who he married.

Sophie's children aren't crackerjack prizes!
She caught her faulty reasoning process. They were precious little souls who deserved all that either Cruz or Adan could give them. Crystal's voice penetrated her brain. “She's right here. Does he want to talk to her?”

Waving the suggestion aside, Jules walked out of the room. She didn't need Adan or Crystal's pity. If Cruz wanted to talk to her, he would have made the call. Right now, she could barely absorb the fact that he could, and quite nicely, carry on his life without her.

A hot shower and clean pajamas failed to erase the deepening ache in her heart. She longed for home — but what awaited her wasn't the ideal. An independent Cruz. Conflict. He didn't need her — he didn't need anyone.

She glanced at the bedside clock. 1:00 a.m. Ten at home. The phone shrilled.

Starting, she reached for the cell and her heart leaped when she saw the number. Adan was calling back.

Only Cruz's voice met her greeting. “How come you didn't want to talk to me?” The question was more inquisitive than demanding.

“I had sand all over me.”

A smile appeared in his voice. “Have you been out rolling in it?”

“Actually, I have.” Sitting up straighter, she ran her hand through her damp hair. What did he want at this time of night?

“I guess Adan told you the news?”

“You guys potty-trained Livvy. Congratulations.”

“I didn't have anything to do with it. It was Adan's deal.”

“Still, it's quite an accomplishment. And in only three days.”

“Yeah, Adan got the how-to information off the internet.”

Jules picked at a loose thread on the sheet. You could find anything on the internet these days.

Cruz tone lowered. “So. When are you coming home?”

“Soon. Maybe next week. Why?”

“Why so long?”

“It's very restful here.” She noted his gradual change of tone. Gentle. Almost coaxing now. His question was more than polite inquiry, but how much more?

“Is … there a reason I should come home?” She closed her eyes, praying.
Please, please
…

“No reason — the kids miss you. They ask about Aunt Jube every day.”

“I miss them too.”

Silence.

“Next week?”

Well, it wasn't exactly like Romeo and Juliet—or even romantic, but it was something. “I'll check the airline schedule. I should be home by Monday evening.”

“Okay. Want to call me back on the time? The kids and I can pick you up.”

She glanced at the clock. “Check tonight?”

“Sure. I'm awake.”

But there was a three-hour time distance between them. Still she was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“Okay. I'll call the airlines.” Her heart hammered in her throat. He's asking you to come home … No. He was asking for the children's sake. No, he was asking for his sake. She'd
known him long enough and well enough to know when he wanted something, and he wanted her to come home.

She closed her eyes.
Thank you, God. I don't deserve this, but thank you. And I won't fail you or him this time.