A Memory Worth Dying For (11 page)

Marti sat up even straighter, barely breathing. Gerald had made it no secret he disapproved of their marriage from the beginning, but he had never been so vocal until she had given her life to Christ six months before the accident.

Marti looked at him now. He seemed a broken man. He must be at the end of his rope if he was asking her to help. A tiny flame of compassion flared in her heart, and she knew forgiveness would not be far behind. That thought scared her to death. Completely forgiving someone for ruining her life seemed almost impossible.

She tried to grasp the situation, her breathing raspy and broken.

“So what do you want from me?”

“I . . . I need you here to help Daniel remember those happy times. To discover his memory again and hopefully the closeness you once felt for each other.”

Gerald’s eyes once again roved to the window before he continued. “I know I have no right to ask, but I’m hoping if Daniel sees you, his memory will return. After almost losing him, I just want him to be happy.”

He paused and looked into her eyes. His eyes filled with unaccustomed tears. “With you, I know he will be. With Veronica, well . . .” He waved his hand weakly.

Marti shook her head and walked across the room, staring out the large windows. “It won’t work. He already saw me at an artist reception in Landeville a couple of weeks ago. Didn’t he tell you? He didn’t recognize me then. What makes you think he’ll remember when he sees me now?”

“Yes, Marti, Daniel told me about the reception, but I didn’t realize it was you he saw until later. I’m hoping your being around him consistently will gradually bring back memories that are familiar.”

“Let me get this straight. You want me to stay here for a while so Daniel will remember his life without Veronica, and realize he’s not in love with her?”

Gerald nodded. “Yes. If he’s around you every day, he might remember snatches of your marriage. I’m hoping he’ll see the difference between how he feels when he’s with Veronica and how he feels when he’s with you. He loved you once. I’m hoping and praying he can find that love again.”

“Why don’t you just tell him he was married before? Show him pictures. I’m sure you have them around here somewhere.”

“I tried that, Marti. I showed him several photographs of your wedding and of the cruise you took on your honeymoon. I prayed so hard it would help him remember, but it didn’t. It only made him angry, so I quit trying.” Gerald’s lowered his eyes, and failure deflated his posture. “I’m afraid Veronica has exaggerated stories about your marriage with Daniel, and that has him spooked. He said if he suffered through a divorce, then there must have been a reason.”

Marti sat back down in the chair and covered her eyes with her hand. “If he sees me now, don’t you think he’ll recognize me from the photos?”

“No. You’ve changed since then. Your hair’s a little lighter and a good bit shorter. You’re also much thinner than you were during your marriage. And, it’s been months since he saw the pictures. I’m sure he’s forgotten your face by now.”

“What about the accident? If he regains his memory, he’ll remember that as well. You know how angry he was when . . .” Her voice trailed into nothingness.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, Marti, if you decide to stay.”

“If he doesn’t remember who I am, how will you explain me being here?”

For the first time since she set foot in the room, a hopeful gleam quivered in Gerald’s eyes. He smiled at her timidly.

“I told you I hired an investigator, Marti. He finally found you last year, and he tells me you’ve become quite popular in the art world. So, I had an idea. I mentioned to Daniel that I hired an artist to paint a portrait of him to hang in the den with all the other family portraits. Painting his portrait will not only give you cover for being here but a perfect reason for spending time with him. The more you’re together, the more it will prod his memory.”

Marti’s thoughts swirled around in her head when she realized what Gerald was asking her to do.

“I can’t.” Her breath came in short gasps. Seeing Daniel every day in such a relaxed setting would be unbearable. Painting a detailed portrait of Daniel’s facial features would be torture. Close and yet so far away. And the intimacy of spending hours in his company would chip away at her newly found self-control.

TWENTY

“I DON’T THINK I CAN
do this.” Marti grasped for any excuse that would justify her leaving. “I don’t have my paints or any of my materials.”

Gerald slid off the black leather chair and headed toward the door.

“Come with me, Marti. I have something to show you.”

Marti fearfully trailed him down the hall where he stopped in front of two tall windows laid into the end of the paneled hallway. He motioned to a solid wooden door on the right side of the massive hall. She glanced shakily at the door nestled in the opposite side of the hall and preceded him into the room. When she stepped through the doorway into the corner suite, she jolted to a stop.

There in front of her was a whole artist’s studio—complete with several sizes of canvas, a palette covered with numerous tubes of oil paint, a state-of-the-art studio easel, and the most important thing for any portrait artist—floor to ceiling northern exposure windows. Both bristle and sable brushes poked out the top of a wooden basket hanging off the right side of a large wooden taboret, and a huge selection of artist pastels filled an open wooden box on a bench beside the taboret. A double paper towel holder completed the work station.

She gasped and stood with her mouth open.

“I hope I’ve remembered everything. I had a gallery owner in town order everything you might need. If you can think of anything else, it’s only a phone call away.”

She turned to stare at the short, crafty man. He must have been sure she could be talked into staying. He pointed toward a door at the back of the large room. Through it she saw a bed with a quilted comforter in patterns of blue and maroon, and just as many windows graced the bedroom wall. Double patio doors identical to the ones in the studio led out to the same balcony.

“This will be your suite if you decide to stay. I had it decorated with all your old furnishings.” He shrugged and raised a hand listlessly. “I hoped it would help Daniel remember if he saw you in the same setting.”

Marti’s swallow was dry and hollow. “What if this doesn’t work? What if he marries Veronica in spite of all your effort?”

Gerald sighed. “Then I will have done my best to correct what I had a part in. If the worst happens and he insists on marrying her, I’m hoping I can persuade him to wait until at least some of his memory returns. But, no matter what happens, we have to try. I have to correct the horrible mistakes I’m guilty of contributing to—for Daniel’s sake . . . and for yours.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“I know you still love him, Marti. I can see it in your eyes. Please think about what I’m asking you to do. You can have the night to think about it if you like. Daniel won’t be back until tomorrow evening. If you decide to leave, you won’t have to see him at all. I’ll understand.”

He paused and said, “Please pray about it, Marti. I remember when you first got saved how excited you were about living the Christian life. It irritated me then that you never made a decision unless you prayed about it first and knew it was God’s will for you. I understand that feeling now, and that’s all I’m asking. Pray about it, please.”

He turned toward the door and gestured to the bedroom. “I had Parker put your luggage in your room, and I’ll have him bring you a supper tray if you like. Take all the time you need. You can let me know when you’ve decided. And, Marti . . . I hope you can forgive me in time.”

Gerald walked out of the room and left her standing in awe. What should she do? She turned and walked to the front of the crystal clear windows to stare at the hazy blue mountains in the distance. Peaceful and serene, this valley had always calmed her spirit, but now the mountains in the distance seemed to mock her and shout the truth.

How can you stay and meet Daniel when he believes you caused his sister’s death? When his memory returns, he’ll still blame you and send you from this house again.

Thoughts swirling around her head were overwhelming. There were so many questions begging for answers.

If she stayed and painted Daniel’s portrait, she would invariably see Veronica. If the beautiful redhead had done as Gerald stated and lied her way into Daniel’s heart, she most definitely would not want Marti around to help bring back his memories. And yet, she knew Daniel would be miserable with Veronica. His personality would be stifled by her manipulative character—for the rest of his life, if they married.

This line of thought brought her back to Daniel’s caring, loving face. He was too special to be saddled with someone ramrodding him through the rest of his life.

If she stayed, she risked losing her heart. If she left, she risked Daniel losing his. The choice was unbearable.

She pulled fresh clothes from her suitcase and entered the bathroom. A beautifully tiled shower was placed immediately across from double sinks nestled in marble countertops. There were more spray nozzles in the walk-in shower than she’d ever seen in her life. Luxury and comfort came to mind as she soaked in the pulsating jets and tried to forget the decision that plagued her mind. The rhythm of the jets pounded her tense muscles, and helped her relax.

When she stepped back into the bedroom, a tray sat on the desk. Lifting the lid revealed turkey, dressing, sautéed squash, and broccoli casserole. An apple, banana, and fresh slices of pineapple filled a bowl on the side. Beside the fruit sat a small plate that contained a generous slice of chocolate cake.

She pinched off a piece of the chocolate cake and let it melt on her tongue.
Wow
! She’d really missed Stella’s cooking. Planning meals for one person was never fun, and she’d skipped meals when her heart wasn’t in the preparations.

She took her tray onto the balcony and watched the sun set behind the mountain while she ate. The darkness came fast, and before she knew it, the sun’s orange rays had disappeared behind the mountain.

With a mood of melancholy, she stood at the balcony rails watching the flickering lights on the mountains in the distance. The twinkling lights had a calming effect—almost enough to make her forget the threats.

Almost.

The words of the man in the alley popped into her thoughts, but she tamped them down. She would not think about that now—not here.

Here in this setting, she could feel God’s presence. She wondered if it hurt God when she turned away from Him. How she missed being able to ask for His guidance. She wanted to feel that closeness again—to feel His fellowship and love. How could she make this monumental decision without Him?

Just this once, she wished she and God were still on speaking terms.

TWENTY-ONE

MARTI TURNED OVER IN BED,
but dread kept her eyes closed. Something nagged her into believing today was going to be a terrible day. When memory stirred, her eyes popped open. She was staggered with the decision she had to make—go or stay.

Tossing and turning the night before brought no solutions to the problem, and turning to God was a difficult option. Gerald had told her to seek God’s will, but that seemed impossible. She hadn’t prayed in years. Why would He listen to her now?

God heard your prayer for help in the car, Marti.

The voice was not audible, but it felt so close.

She crawled out of bed and pulled her Bible from the top of the suitcase. Although she’d been a little peeved to find Sandra had tucked it into her suitcase, Marti was happy to have it now. She pulled the Bible to her and felt the warmth of the early morning light as it slid around the thick curtains covering the sliding doors to her balcony. She threw on her robe and opened the drapes. Unlocking the doors, she slid them apart and stepped onto the covered balcony.

Marti’s grief was heavy. The loss of her family had been hard, but losing faith in God was devastating. She had nowhere to turn for comfort. She hung her head and let the sorrow roll over her shoulders. Then she opened the Bible to the book of Proverbs. Chapter three and verses five and six were verses she memorized after she accepted God into her life. She read the verses aloud quietly.

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; Lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

Placing the Bible on the balcony table, she stood to stare over the edge of the railing.

Beginning rays of light filtered through trees on the mountain and shot down to the lake in the distance. Shimmers of light flickered across the surface of the water and highlighted green stems of cattails standing at attention in the shallow end of the lake. The morning mist swirled around them as if an invisible hand stirred the lake.

So peaceful. So serene. It calmed her heart, and she felt her emotions relax for the first time in three years. This place felt like home. She could almost believe God would visit her here. Maybe He brought her here. Could it be God’s will that she had come? Was it His will that she stay?

She wanted to ask.

She needed to ask.

Dear God. I know I quit trusting You years ago. To be honest, I felt like You let me down. I was such a new Christian, and You let those horrible things happen. I’m sorry I turned away from You. Please show me now what Your will is for me. Should I stay and see Daniel? Should I go home and forget him? Show me a sign, please?

Beethoven’s
Fur Elise
sounded from her room, so she ran inside and unplugged her cell phone from the charger beside the bed. Sandra’s name lit up across the screen. She smiled and opened the flip phone.

“Hey!”

“Marti, I’ve been worried sick. Why didn’t you ring last night? I tried to ring your number, but it never connected. I thought maybe there was no phone at your hotel and no cell service up there in the mountains.”

“I’m sorry, Sandra. I guess I just got caught up in everything. The new cell I bought for the trip was low in battery when I got here, and I’m not staying at a hotel. I planned on using the house phone, but . . . I guess I got sidetracked.” She stepped out onto the balcony and sat down in one of the reclining chairs. “Are you and Wade okay?”