A Merry Mistletoe Wedding (27 page)

The loss of the grass ring was still getting Thea down a couple of days later. What with that and Emily still showing no signs of abandoning her boycott of this wedding and then the stupid Katinka thing that had so deeply unsettled her, Thea was finding her mood as low and gloomy as the cold dark days of November. She felt too pessimistic even to think about finding a dress to be married in, somehow convinced that this, too, would go wrong and that she'd buy a gorgeous outfit and then spill beetroot juice or something equally staining on it the night before the wedding. And Sean still hadn't told her anything about what had happened with Katinka, other than to keep insisting that there was absolutely nothing in what she'd said about him being her bridegroom.

‘She's probably still got a thing for you,' Thea told him. ‘Maybe she was warning me off.'

Sean laughed. ‘I doubt it – she went off with someone way further up the world rankings than I was. She loves a winner, that one. But, really, Thea, it's horrible trying to talk to each other from this ridiculous distance. We need to talk properly, see each other's faces, touch each other. I want to kiss you, reassure you, convince you all is fine, but I can't get to you for ages. We've got a production company coming to check out the manor for an advert and then I've got the weekend up north with my mother and sister. It's ten years since my dad died and they want to go and dance on his grave or something.'

‘You are joking, aren't you?' Thea said, picturing the three of them holding hands and cavorting round a big white cross. In the background she also imagined God, looming and white-winged and bearded, standing with his arms folded in disapproval and a huge frown on his face.

‘Of course I'm joking! You see? That's the problem with being apart. You'd have known I wasn't serious if we weren't doing this by phone,' Sean said, laughing at her. ‘Though I have to say Mum hasn't ever forgiven him for smoking himself into an early grave. No, she wants to do a grave-tidying session and plant some bulbs for spring. It's a bit late but I've got her some fancy local daffodils from one of the farms here and they come up later in the north anyway. She'll like them, even if he wouldn't.'

‘Wow, who doesn't like daffodils?'

‘My pa. He was more of a lupin man. But seriously, Thea, we do need to see each other. I don't want this stupid Katinka thing, or rather this
non
-thing, to hang over us. I can tell you all about it and even get you to laugh about it along with me but I'd rather do it face to face. All I can promise is that it's not a big deal.'

‘How can marrying someone
not
be a big deal?' she asked. ‘Or do you feel that way about us too?' She could have bitten her tongue off for saying that. She could hear her mother warning her in her head, ‘Do you want to push him away? No? Well stop shoving then.'

‘Of bloody course I don't feel that way about us! Christ on a bike, will you listen to yourself? I'm here wondering if it's you who's having second thoughts. It sure as hell isn't me.'

‘No, of course I'm not. It's just that I've been let down before and …'

‘And you don't want it to happen again. I get that, trust me I do. But I can't believe you'd think I'd set out to hurt you.'

‘No, I don't think that,' Thea said. ‘I think I just panic about stuff, especially at the moment. It's just so frustrating – Emily still won't even talk about coming down for the wedding. I can't find a job in Cornwall near enough to be worth applying for and—'

‘And have you bought the dress?'

‘Er … no.'

‘You see? If anyone should be feeling insecure here, don't you think it might be me? Get the dress. Please, babe. Just get the dress.'

Emily kept looking out into the garden to keep an eye on the weather. She didn't trust it. It was only ten thirty in the morning and it seemed to be getting darker already, which wasn't right. The forecast had said there might be ‘light snow showers' in west London and she needed to watch to make sure it didn't get out of control. Snow was dangerous, frightening. Even in fairy tales she'd hated it. It had killed the Little Match Girl and smothered the Babes in the Wood.

She was constantly checking the weather app on her phone, hating the little snow symbol that came up for that day. She willed it to change. Flicking through to see what the weather was to be like in Cornwall, all she found was rain and a temperature five degrees higher than here, which was annoying and unfair. Wasn't it usually colder down there? It certainly was in summer. She moved a chair close to the window and sat down, tucking her feet under her and holding Ned close. He was such a good baby, calm and happy, and she loved him to be right there, always so close against her. When he looked up at her and treated her to a huge smile she felt great waves of pleasure as they connected.

The fat flakes of snow started falling at midday. Emily was on her computer, ordering Christmas presents online, and she watched the snow and tried to think of it as something to enjoy. But she knew the streets in London would get slick and icy; the snow would pile up at the sides of the roads and get brown and filthy. People would break limbs on it. Everything normal would come to a halt: bus routes, trains,
life
. At least country snow was prettier. She tried to think how it would be in her little Wiltshire town. It wouldn't have that cut-off terror that she'd felt in Cornwall the Christmas before. For one thing there would be neighbours. There would be a shop within walking distance and a station not far away if the roads were bad. But also … it would be her new nest and she'd be OK about being cosily holed up in it for a few days. All would be well. And the house was still on the market – the vendors didn't want to go anywhere right now. She was in with a chance.

Rich dropped off the dog at Thea's house on Saturday morning rather than Friday. She still didn't want him in the house, invading her territory, but she thanked him for the flowers and promised to walk Benji far and often and take good care of him.

‘I know you will,' Rich said, smiling at her. He had his head slightly on one side like someone who'd been told it was how you act ‘fondness'. She felt awkward about that and was a bit abrupt with him. Even though it was the weekend he was wearing a suit and tie and looked uncomfortably formal. Thea could see he'd had his hair recently cut; it was far too tidy, too short. He looked a lot like a small boy about to be sent off to prep school. The contrast with Sean couldn't be greater. Sean's hair was never short, never tidy, never less than pretty much out of control, flopping over his eyes in tendrils that he'd push out of the way but only bothered to trim when they got in his eyes while he was in the sea. He'd asked her if she'd like him all tidy for the wedding but the idea had horrified her. ‘God no! It's you I want to marry, you and the whole way you are. Not all gussied up like a shop-window dummy!'

‘Old jeans then? Two-day stubble?'

‘Er, well, you don't need to go
that
far down the laid-back road, but yes, more that than George Clooney boring, please!'

‘One thing,' he'd said. ‘Let me know what colour you're going to wear.'

‘Are we having matching outfits? Please tell me no. We'd look like the twin children of a madwoman.'

‘No, but I thought maybe even a slob like me could do a bit of colour co-ordination. It was Sarah's idea. She says it looks good in the photos.'

‘Oh, right. In that case, I'll let you know, as soon as I do,' she promised him. There were only a few weeks to go, she realized, feeling a quick flood of nerves, so she would have to have a look online before she went out and find the kind of dress she'd love. If she simply hit the shops, especially now when they were crazy with Christmas shoppers, she would panic and come home with nothing and know that it was all her own fault for leaving it so late. She phoned Anna and asked to go round so they could have a look together, see what kind of thing would work. She had a vague idea of what she'd like but could do with back-up. And if a girl couldn't get her mum onside for a wedding frock then what were mothers for?

‘Oh, about time! What sort of style do you like?' Anna asked. ‘You're not a frills type, that I do know.' They sat at the kitchen table, flicking through images on Thea's iPad. Thea had taken Benji with her and he dozed under the table. The day outside was grey and damp but the snow that had fallen the day before and so excited Thea's class – to the point where they could barely concentrate for jumping up and down – had melted and gone.

‘It's easier to say what I don't like, really,' Thea said, ‘which I know isn't helpful but at least rules a lot out.'

Mike made tea for them and then retired to his hut to sort out his paints and to throw out everything that he no longer used. ‘That last lot of people who came round to look at the house want to come again,' he told Thea on his way out. ‘They're bringing their teenagers, apparently. Our agent Belinda says she's sure they're about to make an offer.'

‘I hope so,' Thea said, ‘and it'll be lovely for me and Sean to have you down in Cornwall, but the others will miss you. I know we all live our own lives but this has always been a sort of base.'

Mike laughed. ‘Well, first, we're planning to be in Nashville for a while. And then Anna has always wanted to go to India. I told her she should have done the hippie trail at nineteen like everyone else but she missed out. So that's a possibility. We might rent somewhere up here still. But it'll have to be cheap. I don't want to waste money on something that will be empty half the time. It'll take a while to find something we could buy instead.'

Thea considered for a moment. ‘You could always stay with me,' she said. ‘The spare room is small but it's doable.'

‘You know that could be a brilliant solution. But are you really keeping your house on?' Anna asked gently, ‘Aren't you going to move to Cornwall and live with Sean … you know …'

‘Properly?' Thea suggested.

‘Yes. It's the usual thing, you know. Man/woman/married – they tend to share premises.'

‘If I can get a job, yes, that's the plan. But at the moment they're hard to come by down there so I can't leave mine yet. But ideally, yes, of course. As soon as possible.'

Thea went back to the images of models in wedding dresses online. There were thousands of them and she hated almost all of them. ‘OK, this is what I don't want: no crinolines, no plunging necklines, nothing long and trailing, nothing that's white.'

‘Not a wedding dress then,' her mother said, laughing. ‘You'll want something you don't freeze in, for a start. How about velvet?' The doorbell rang and she got up to answer it, leaving Thea to consider velvet.

‘Here we are, another voice for some input,' Anna said, bringing Charlotte through to the kitchen. ‘Or did you come to see Mike?'

‘Anyone really. I was just passing.'

Thea thought briefly of Katinka and the ‘just passing' thing. She really must get that girl out of her head. Easier said, till she saw Sean again. As he'd told her, everything that needed to be said was communicated so much better when you were actually together.

Charlotte kissed Thea hello and glanced at the computer. ‘Oooh, frocks! Is this your wedding dress? You're cutting it a bit fine, aren't you? The rate you were going – or rather
weren't
– I thought you'd end up getting married in your bra and knickers. I don't suppose Sean would mind that but it's not the usual thing. What held you up? Weren't you sure or something?'

‘Charlotte!' Anna said. ‘Of course she's sure! There just hasn't been—'

‘Don't say “time”, Mum. There has been, really. I didn't want to jinx anything by getting too far ahead. Not after last time.' She had a quick flashback to the cream dress hanging in the shop, the assistant unpinning her name tag from the bag and saying how sorry she was and wasn't it lucky they hadn't started on the alterations. ‘Lucky' was hardly what Thea would have called it at the time.

Charlotte sat down beside her and patted her hand. ‘That was then. This is now. Your other one was a twat; this one's a gem. I knew you two were perfect from day one.'

‘I wish I had,' Thea said, laughing. ‘I thought he was gay and shacked up with Paul. And then because of even more crossed wires he thought I was gay too. So we were both idiots.'

‘All will be well. The mistletoe brought you together last year. You've got to trust that stuff. It's magic.'

‘Charlotte, please will you come to the wedding?' Thea suddenly asked. ‘I'd so love you to.'

‘Ooh – really? I'd love to but … hmm … I'm working till Christmas Eve so it might be tricky. I'll see what I can do.' She laughed. ‘It would be such fun and I didn't have other plans. Nothing set in stone anyway.'

‘When does your show start?' Anna asked her. ‘And where is it?'

Charlotte blushed a bit. ‘The job starts next week. And it's, er … not too far away, thank goodness. Seasonal work pays jack shit so if you can keep travel costs out of the mix it does help. Now, let's look at
frocks
. There's nothing better on a freezing horrible day. But first, go and stand over there, Thea, and take your big jumper off.'

Surprised, Thea did as she was told. Charlotte and Anna gazed at her and Charlotte narrowed her eyes and pulled odd calculating faces as if measuring something.

‘What are you doing?' Anna asked.

‘Eyeing up her lovely little body,' Charlotte said with a grin. ‘No wonder Sean calls you Elf. You'd look rubbish in most of these,' she added, indicating the screen full of gowns, and startling Thea slightly. ‘They're proper big-girl dresses. You'd look like a kid dressing up from Mummy's wardrobe. You need something smaller scale without being ditsy.'