A Million Tears (17 page)

‘Where will we land?’ asked Evan.

‘It stops at Boston and then New York. After that it comes back to Cardiff. The journey takes eighteen days in one of the new type of steam ships. This one is very new apparently, and very luxurious.’

‘Well, look you,’ in her excitement Meg’s Welsh accent strengthened. ‘We can take a train from New York all the way to Kansas City if we wish,’ her finger traced a line across the atlas. ‘Apparently there’s still a lot of land there nobody has claimed. It’s real cowboy country where people travel on horseback and carry guns and things.’

Meg sighed. ‘I just don’t know, I really don’t. Of one thing there’s no doubt, you’re not going mining, right?’ The question was rhetorical, but Evan nodded. ‘We still haven’t decided exactly what we’re going to do, have we? I mean, we’ve talked about being there and having a nice life and so on, but what are we going to do? Farming? A small shop of some sort? What?’

Evan shrugged and the two children copied him.

Meg smiled. ‘We plan in great depth how we’re going to get there, we have money to ensure a better start than many other immigrants yet we can’t . . .’ she trailed off. ‘You’re hopeless, all three of you.’

He grimaced. ‘I’m not sure Meg, and that’s a fact. I wouldn’t mind trying my hand at farming or something. After all, I like working in the allotment. On the other hand I don’t think I know enough about it to be able to cope with a farm. But then what do I know about? Nothing,’ his voice grew bitter, ‘except mining and I’m not going to do that.’

‘We’ll find something, you’ll see. A shop wouldn’t be a bad idea. We could stop off at David and Maud’s and talk to them. I know they haven’t had the shop for long but there must be something they can tell us that’ll be of help.’

‘I agree. We’ll stay over night the day before we leave,’ said Evan.

At last, it was Evan’s final day in the mine. In four days time they would be on their way. They would have one night in Cardiff with David and Maud and then join the ship in time to depart at eight o’clock.

He trudged along the mineshaft, his mind turning to the family. Now he was in the mine, he could no longer believe it was his last double shift; he could only think he had to get through the day in the same way as he always did; Dream . . . Plan . . . Revenge? No, he did not want to think of that.

He lifted, swung, dropped and levered in his mechanical, never ending rhythm. The trucks clanged up and down, moving away even as the last lump of coal was thrown into them. The men sweated silently, the whistle blew, they ate their coal dust and sandwiches, the whistle blew, they drank the cold water thankfully. They dug, the whistle blew again . . . and they drank and sweated. To Evan it was the longest shift he could remember. The accident happened two hours before he was due to finish.

He heard the trucks returning, their noise an unnoticed background to the hell of the mine. The noise surfaced to his conscious level a few moments before the shouts. He looked up to see the trucks moving far too quickly, rolling unchecked along the rails. The brakeman was ineffectively hauling back on his lever but to no avail. It was fifty feet away and going to come off the rails at a tremendous force exactly where Evan was standing. The brakeman jumped, hit his head on the roof and collapsed unconscious. The trucks were thirty feet away and swaying from side to side.

Evan stood at the bottom of a narrow tunnel, barely wide enough to allow him to face the coal seam and swing a pick. The last truck rocked too far, tottered and fell, taking the other trucks with it. The leading truck came off the rails only feet before it reached the tunnel in which Evan stood. The truck then slewed slightly; still moving quickly it caught the side of the wall and spun round. The back of the truck hit the other side of the tunnel and dug into the soft coal. The noise was horrendous, sparks flew as metal screeched on metal and the truck dug deeper into the coal. Evan pushed so hard against the coal face that the irregular wall bruised his back. The trucks stopped inches from his legs.

The noise subsided and the men rushed to see if he was all right. Evan found himself trembling. He had never been so close to serious injury or death before. The miners shouted for joy when they discovered he was safe.

Someone remembered the brakeman and they went to find him. Evan clambered over the trucks, picked up his shirt and coat, and started up the tunnel. He edged silently past the men clustered around the inert body of the brakeman and without a backward glance continued to the lift. Ten minutes later he was outside the gates walking quickly to hide the tremors that still coursed through his body.

It was a beautiful, early spring night. The three quarters full moon was just coming over the edge of the valley. It was a splendid sight, the white light bathing the scene. Evan looked back at the mine then up at the sky and said: ‘Almost, but not quite. You’ll never find me down there again. I promise you.’

Meg was surprised but pleased to see him home early. When he told her what had happened she was moved to tears. Their love making that night was extra special.

Monday dawned bright and early. They had packed eight wooden crates, put together by Evan, William and Uncle James. Two men could lift one crate with a little difficulty. They had hired Dai Coffin’s horse and cart – not the hearse – but the one he used in his capacity as local furniture remover. The packed cart was outside the door, the children sitting on it while Meg and Evan took one last look around.

‘I’ll miss our lovely little house,’ Meg said, tears in her eyes.

‘Aye, me too, love,’ replied Evan softly. ‘We had some good times here, didn’t we?’ He put his arm around her shoulders and hugged.

‘Will we be as happy in America?’

Evan laughed. ‘Much, much happier, I promise you. You’ll see. Come on, the horse and cart will wait all day but the train won’t.’

The farewell to the family was tearful, especially Sion’s as he paid his last visit to Uncle James. When the horse and cart were about to move Uncle James slipped Sion a small, neat package.

‘See you don’t open it until you’re on the ship,’ he whispered. ‘It’s for all of you. Goodbye and God bless.’ He turned away quickly, determined no one should see his tears.

‘Uncle James, Uncle James.’ Sion jumped down and ran back, throwing his arms around the old man’s waist. ‘I love you, Uncle James.’

‘I love you too, Sion,’ he said with difficulty, a lump in his throat.

Sion returned to the cart and scrambled on board, standing on the back waving to Uncle James until the cart turned a corner and was out of sight.

David and Maud met them at the station in Cardiff. Meg, Maud and the children took a hansom home while Evan and David went directly to the docks. There they arranged to have the cases stowed in the hold.

‘Before we return,’ said Evan, ‘show me the coaling yards will you?’

‘What on earth for?’

‘Em, never mind. But there’s something I want you to do tomorrow. I know you’ll find it unusual but let me explain. Incidentally, don’t say anything to Maud or Meg.’

‘Excuse the mess,’ said Maud to Evan when they arrived. ‘Like I told Meg we’ve only just finished the alterations a week ago.’

‘Come on Evan, I’ll show you around,’ said David. The shop was larger than Evan had expected, the shelves behind the counter stacked high with different goods. David sold everything from food to lengths of cotton to steel nibbed pens.

Evan shook his head. ‘How on earth did you manage all this? Surely you didn’t have enough money . . .’ he trailed off.

‘No,’ laughed his brother, ‘of course not. It was the banks man, the banks. I got a new suit, told the bankers I was a merchant from North Wales and was thinking of settling down in this area. In the second bank I went to I opened an account, deposited a hundred and ten pounds and kept fifty in my pocket. Evan . . . Ha, here’s the sherry. I propose a toast to a happy voyage and a good life in America.’ They drank. ‘Now, where was I? Oh yes, well, I borrowed five hundred pounds and came home and got blind drunk.’ He shook his head in wonderment. ‘Look,’ David held out his hands to his brother. ‘See how the hard skin and the cuts are going? Do you know what I had to do when I went to the bank? I wore gloves and told them I had a skin disorder. Evan boyo, if business stays like it was for the first week then I’ll pay back the money I borrowed plus interest in four years. God, think of all that slaving down the mine and it’s here to pick like . . . like apples from a tree.’

Later that night, after they were all in bed, Evan spoke to his wife. ‘Listen, there’s something I must do. I’ll be away all night but . . . .’

Meg sat up in alarm. ‘What do you mean?’ Her voice was loud in the quiet of the house.

‘Shshsh, keep your voice down. I don’t want you to wake the household. Listen love, you know I love you and I love the children,’ Evan paused. ‘Just believe me when I say if I don’t go and do this I’ll . . . I’ll never be able to live with myself.’

‘Tell me what you’re going to do then I’ll be able to understand. At least I . . . I suppose I will. I mean, I can’t imagine where you want to go at this time of night.’

Meg curled her knees up to her chin and hugged herself, deeply hurt. ‘Nothing Evan? Is that what I am? Nothing? Is the family nothing?’ She felt the tears rising and angrily wiped her eyes.

‘Don’t talk daft,’ Evan was becoming angry. ‘You’re everything to me, everything. And the children too. And you know it, don’t you, love?’ Awkwardly he tried to put his arms around her.

‘Evan, please tell me why you’re going back. Anyway,’ she suddenly brightened, ‘how can you? There’s no trains now. How would you get there and back in time?’

‘There are trains Meg. Coal trains. I know an empty train leaves the yards at the docks at midnight and another arrives back at six thirty. I can easily manage both. If I go now,’ he added, taking his arms from around her.

‘Please tell me why first. Evan, after all this time surely we aren’t going to start having secrets from one another, are we? What’s so important back there?’

‘Meg, I have to see a man. I’ll tell you everything when I return. I promise I will,’ he spoke gently while he reached for his clothes. Meg noticed he dressed in his old working clothes and realised what the brown parcel had been in his bag.

‘Well then. Look, it’s eleven now. I’ve an hour to get to the docks and find the train. I’ll be back shortly after seven at the latest and I’ll meet you at the ship. David’ll have some clothes for me and . . .’

‘He knows?’

‘No, only that I’m going up on the train, nothing more.’ He bent and kissed her lips. They were like marble. ‘I love you Meg and always will, please believe that and trust me. Try and get some sleep while I’m away, all right?’

‘Try and sleep? Don’t be daft. How will I be able to sleep?’

He grimaced. ‘See you later,’ Evan whispered and left.

Meg lay back, tears welling in her eyes and trickling down the sides of her face. Evan, Evan, she said to herself. Take care, please take care. She thrust her hand to her mouth to stop herself from crying out loud in her anguish.

Evan closed the front door behind him and hurried along the street. He had known it would be difficult to leave her. How could he tell his wife he was going to kill a man, and burn his house to the ground?

13

The streets were cold and dark and Evan hurried to reach the marshalling yards at the docks. The image of Meg kept recurring and nearly made him give up.

The road he was on was long, straight and still busy, the pubs doing a roaring trade. Evan glanced into one as he walked quickly past, the door opening when a drunk reeled out. Through the haze of smoke he saw hard faced seamen and equally hard prostitutes appearing to enjoy themselves.

Evan paused at the gates to the yards, looked to see there was no guard and dashed through. He moved as quickly as he dared in the moonlight. He had found the main line. As Evan darted along the side of the train, two things happened simultaneously. A man appeared in front of him and the train started to move.

‘Oi, you. What do you think you’re doing, hey?’ The man clutched Evan’s arm.

Without thinking Evan hit him on the jaw and the man staggered back, more surprised than hurt. Evan steadied himself, waited for the centre of the next truck and leapt for the truck’s side. With a mighty effort he pulled himself up and over and lay still for a few moments. Then, with a sigh, Evan huddled into a corner, out of the wind.