A Missing Peace (8 page)

“I think the damage to your legs may be worse than we thought. I'd like to get an MRI.” He paused for a minute and then added, “Son, you're going to need physical therapy. You can get it right here on base, and the sooner you do, the better it's going to be for you.”

“You think I'll be back to normal by the end of summer?”

Dr. Walker frowned. “Anything is possible, I suppose, but, Caleb, you've been seriously injured. Recovering is going to take time.”

I didn't say anything, but it must have been obvious that I didn't like this response.

“What's wrong?” my mom asked.

“Nothing.”

“Is there something specific you were hoping to recover for this summer?” Doctor Walker asked.

“I'd planned on enlisting. Boot camp.”

“Ahh,” he said. “I usually tell people if there is something they want to do, they can find a way to work around their injury and do it anyhow. But boot camp isn't something you're going to be able to do anytime soon. I knew your father. He was a great soldier, and the whole base was crushed when he didn't come home. But there are a lot of other ways to serve your country.”

Except that my scholarships are for athletics.

Mom kept trying to start conversations on the way home, but I didn't have anything to say. Not only would I not be able to follow in my father's footsteps, but I had no future either. At least not one that I could see right now. The doctor had confirmed it.

I lay on the couch, eating Goldfish and trying to figure out what the point in anything was. Kailee called, but I ignored it. She was the last person I wanted to talk to, although I did need to talk to her. I needed to tell her we hadn't been together in months, and she needed to leave me alone. Leave Mirriam alone.

Instead, I logged into Facebook and commented on Kailee's profile picture. ‘Hey, bitch, I know it's rough for you that a new girl—a hotter girl—moved in two months before your graduation and took the focus off you, but life happens. It probably eats you up that she actually has a brain too, but that has nothing to do with why I broke up with you. I broke up with you because of you. LEAVE MIRRIAM ALONE.' Then I tagged Kailee Hill.

That was that. Kailee would get the message, and so would everyone that knew her. Mirriam could get over thinking I was part of this if she wanted to. I didn't really care. Come August, she would be off studying engineering somewhere, and I'd be living on my mom's couch. As for Kailee, as soon as she realized I was no football player anymore, she'd move on to the next big thing.

Mirriam

Caleb wasn't the only person mad about what I'd said to Kailee. Somehow Abrahem found out about it. I got lectured for hours about how I couldn't go around threatening people. Even when I pointed out she was responsible for the garage he said I should let her ‘Slap the other cheek.' Abrahem said if I kept this up, we'd have to leave. Ironic, because that was all I was trying to prevent. At the end of his sermon, he surprised me when he threw in, “You should try to get along with her. Lots of people think she's a nice girl.”

I had no idea how he could have known the specifics or what he could know about Kailee. My brother had never been a fan of American football, and the last time I checked, he thought cheerleaders were stupid.

Whatever. I blew it off and went to school. Before I made it to my locker, some redhead walked up to me and asked, “Are you dating Caleb?”

“Caleb? Is he back?”

“No, but are you dating?”

I laughed. “No.”

I walked past her, but people stared, and I was getting more whispers than usual.

When I got to my locker, Morgan stood in front of it with her arms crossed. “I don't get it. We're friends right?”

“Yeah.” Ever since she saw me attack Kailee, we'd been hanging out during lunch and even texting some.

“So, why didn't you tell me about Caleb?” “What about him? How can a boy that's not here be creating so much talk?”

Morgan shook her head as I turned the combination on my locker. “Don't play dumb with me.”

“Morgan, you're being weird, even for you.”

“So you're really not dating Caleb Miller?”

I laughed out loud. “Actually, if he hadn't been hit by a car,
I'd
run over him. But you are the second person to ask me that in ten minutes. Why?”

“Why would you run over him?”

I took my science book from my locker and threw my backpack in before shutting the door. When I turned to face Morgan, I scanned the hallway before saying, “He got me out of the house that night, so Kailee could leave her sparkling sadistic pink message.”

“Nu-uh.”

“I'm serious.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” Blood beat under my cheeks as I realized I was about to admit something I'd never said out loud. “I thought he liked me,” I whispered. “We went out for pizza, or I would have been home. I would have been the only person home.”

Morgan put her hand on my arm. “Mirriam, I think there's more to the story than you know. He does like you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Right. No chance. I'm just another raghead. Oh wait—that's what the note on my garage door said.”

“He told Kailee to leave you alone. He said you're hot.”

“When?”

“On Facebook. Why are you the only person in the world with no Facebook account?”

“Long story,” I said as we walked to class.

Morgan told me Kailee changed her profile pic because of it, and Kailee thinks we're dating, which is why people keep asking.

Every time I saw Kailee she glared at me, but it didn't bother me. It was no worse than usual.

Two days passed before I heard from Caleb. Morgan thought I should call him or drop by, but I didn't care to. I didn't know what to think about him publicly defending me. I was glad someone did, but I still wasn't convinced he didn't get me out of the house that night. Maybe, he felt indebted to me since I dragged him out of the road that night, and that was why he'd defended me.

I knew one thing, though. Sitting on his couch day in and day out, wallowing in his misery because he had a bad leg now was only going to make things worse. I knew because I tried it for months after we were relocated to the U.S. It didn't help.

Caleb needed help, and I needed his portion of the work done for Government class. Well, truthfully, I didn't. I could have done the project on my own and done it well, but I wasn't going to do all the work, so he could make an A.

I rapped on his door twice. I was already opening it when he said, “Come in.”

“Hi.” It didn't seem like the best opening, but I didn't know what else to say.

At least he'd changed clothes since the last time I saw him, but his shirt was rumpled with a big crease going down the chest. Unlike the suave guy that walked around school in pressed jeans or khakis, he was in sweats, and it looked like he'd been wearing them for three days.

“Hey,” he said.

“I'm almost done with my half of the project.”

“Cool.”

“What about you? Where are you at?”

“I'm not doing it.”

“What do you mean, you're not doing it?”

“I'm just not. Why should I? What's the chance I'll be there for this big debate?”

“What's the chance you'll get up and come?”

“I'd love to get off this damned couch. I'm doing good to stand up most days.”

“Class is an hour. If you're having trouble with your leg, use crutches or a wheelchair. I'm sure you can make it through one hour.”

“What's the point?”

“I have no idea. Ask Mrs. Culpepper. I'm just trying to graduate.”

“I don't mean the project. The class, school, all of it—what's the point?”

“Because you can't go to college without it.”

“Yeah, well, that's out of the picture for me. So I don't see a point in any of this anymore. I'm sorry, princess, but you're on your own for the project.”

This didn't sound right. How could you just quit a project? I didn't miss that he referred to me as ‘princess' and the word dripped in sarcasm. “I don't understand. You have enough credits to graduate without Government? And why am I a princess all of the sudden?”

“I finally figured out what you meant when you kept saying ‘I got you out of the house'. As much as I love being the accomplice to a good hate crime, I had nothing to do with it. I've had your back since you showed up. Life would have been a hell of a lot worse for you, if I didn't get pissed every time someone talked about you.”

“Well as thankful as I am for your protection, Oh Captain Football King, it doesn't seem to be worth a lot. My house still got trashed.”

“Yeah, well, I had nothing to do with it.”

“Whatever. Caleb, I don't care. I didn't come here to talk about that. I want you to do your half of the work. Because it's your responsibility.”

“Not really. I'm done.”

“With the class?”

“With school.”

Oh my God!
Caleb Miller drove me crazy. “You can't be serious. We're barely weeks from graduation. You cannot seriously be quitting school. Jesus Christ, the U.S. is a messed up place. Where I'm from, if you even talked about quitting school, your parents would box you.”

He shrugged. “Mom's against it. She's made that clear, but I guess she doesn't see the point in boxing me. I'm in bad enough shape to begin with.”

I snapped. I knew I was going to regret what I was about to say, but I didn't care. “Caleb Miller, you're a loser and a quitter. I've seen people in much worse shape than you do things a lot harder than finishing some rinky-dink American high school.
Zmal
. White kids are so spoiled.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? You don't know anything about me. Don't call me spoiled.”

“Oh? What don't I know? You had one bad break, so you'll just ruin your life. Sounds good to me.”

“Why do you care?” He threw the same words in my face I'd asked him a few days earlier.

 

Caleb

I couldn't tell if Mirriam was getting flustered or pissed. She never sat down when she came in today. Her feet were planted firmly on the ground in the same place at the end of the couch. Her book bag was slung over one shoulder—she never put it down. Now she gripped the strap tighter. Her face drew grim.

“I care. Obviously. Or I wouldn't be here.” Her tone was low, each word its own sentence.

Her words were both infuriating and calming. She cared so much she came to talk about school? She never even asked how I was. Then again, M wasn't one of those girls who said things to say them.

“Why do you care if I quit school?”

“Because it's stupid.”

“Not what I asked you. Why do you care? And you've known people who have been through worse? Do you think this is easy?” “Do you want to be thirty-five and living on your mom's couch? And no, Caleb, of course, I don't think it's easy. I was there. I watched it, and I couldn't do anything to stop it.” She exploded into tears, not like the first time her eyes watered while she spoke. Now she sobbed so hard her whole body shook. The girl I once thought unbreakable was falling apart.

I moaned as I forced myself off the couch. I came toward Mirriam, and her eyes shot up in fear as she backed up against the wall. It reminded me of the day I found her face down in the curb, and I had to calm her before she freaked out.

“It's just me, M. You're here with me” I put a hand on her face. “It wasn't your fault. You know that, don't you?”

“Caleb, I'm so sorry. I tried to tell you. I did, and by the time I got your attention it was too late.” I hated that she felt guilty about this, but at least she'd stopped crying.

“That was my own stupidity, but you didn't have to call me a loser.”

“You're quitting. Giving up.”

“My prerogative.”

“Then you're dumb.”

“We can't all be perfect, Miss Mirriam.”

My hand still cupped her cheek. She made no effort to move it, but she didn't move closer to me either, and now she glared at me. “Why do you keep patronizing me?”

I shrugged. “I'm not sure I'm patronizing you.”

“Caleb, you're so annoying.” But those chocolate eyes had softened. She wasn't glaring anymore. “And you're not quitting school. And you
will
do your half of the project, even if I have to come sit in your living room and watch you work every day.”

“Won't happen.”

“Try me.”

Instead of looking for a reply, I took a huge chance. The kind of risk you could easily come to regret. I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. It didn't take long to force her lips open. She clasped one hand around each of my arms and squeezed tightly.

She was kissing back.

It was perfect.

Until, she gripped my arms harder and pushed away from me so fast she hit her head on the wall.

She let out a deep breath and looked up at me. A swift silence passed and then she said, “I've never done that before…”

Not knowing what to say, I didn't answer.

“So we're, are we…okay, where I'm from, this would mean something, but here…”

“It meant something.”

“What?”

I have no clue.

“I've never asked, but I know I'm not allowed to date.”

I laughed. “Are you tryin' to tell me this was a one time thing?”

“No!” Her eyes went wide, and there was a bit of panic in her voice.

“I could talk to your mom,” I offered.

She laughed. “It's Abrahem you need to worry about, and you should not talk to my brother about dating me. He's big and mean.”