A Mistletoe Kiss with the Boss (14 page)

Confused, Dean faced Jason again.

“You didn't hear that the royal family gave her the boot today?”

“What? They fired her?”

“No. No. They gave her the ‘shove the bird out of the nest' dismissal. Rumor has it they also contributed to the tune of a million dollars.”

Pleasure for her shimmied through him. “That's great.”

“It's fantastic. For her. And who got her to this point? You. You introduced her to Mrs. Flannigan. Just like you gave Nina the way to get to Alex, you gave Kristen the way to get to know the people who could set her on the right course.”

Dean's blood ran cold. “Are you saying she used me?”

“I don't think she did it deliberately. I don't think she realized the kind of clout that you have, but the genie's out of the bottle now. She's gotten her introductions and literally millions of dollars of funding. She doesn't need you anymore. And you still have weeks of work on a failing project.”

Dean stood frozen, trying to link the things Jason said to Kristen's behavior and he just couldn't do it. True, he and Kristen were in two different places with their careers. But there was no law that said they had to be in the same place.

He wanted to support her. He wanted her to support him. “She's exactly where she needs to be.”

“And so are you.”

Dean frowned. “Excuse me?”

Jason took Dean's shoulders and turned him to face Kristen, who stood by King Mason, playing peekaboo with Jimmy. “Look at her, Dean. She is in her element. She is going to travel around the world and build schools. And what she needs is some big blond guy name Sven to hold down a fort at home. Maybe run the family farm. So that when she comes home, she will see her beautiful, well-adjusted babies and rest up before she has to go to Africa or Asia or South America.”

“That's ridiculous.”

“What's ridiculous? You don't think she deserves a nice home, the family she wants?” He waved a hand. “Forget it. Forget I said anything. You want to mess with the life of a woman who's finally got her act together, who deserves to have the family she wants, who worked damned hard to get there, then who am I to stop you? Just remember you were in a car behind Nina, chasing her down, refusing to take her no for an answer when she jumped into that boat. You might have been cleared of any wrongdoing, but you're in no way an innocent.”

As Jason said the words, Kristen approached, her smile broad, her eyes gleaming.

Jason said, “You should be mingling with your staff, making them feel welcome.”

Jason's assertion that Dean was to blame for Nina's death was like a knife in Dean's heart. He hadn't been chasing her. True, he'd followed her from the restaurant, but once he realized she was going to the marina, he pulled together his pride and turned around. He'd been cleared of wrongdoing because Nina had driven five miles knowing he wasn't chasing her.

The fact that Jason would bring it up—would make him remember—put a chill in his blood again.

“The staff is fine.”

Jason shrugged. “Okay. Whatever. If you want to lose what you have I'm not going to take the blame.”

Jason shifted away about the same time Kristen reached Dean. He felt the rush of happiness that she was near, but Jason's comments rang in his ears. His company had teetered on the brink of failure for months after Nina's death.

And now here he was with Kristen. A woman on the edge of having everything she wanted. It infuriated Dean that Jason would connect Kristen and Nina, and, worse, suggest that he would ruin Kristen's life.

Because he could? Because that's who he was? Or because Jason knew, just as Dean knew, that his upbringing didn't lend itself to Dean being the most understanding, most easy-to-live-with guy in the world.

She said, “That baby's a doll.”

Everything about her seemed to glow. And he suddenly saw what Jason saw. Not a comparison between her and Nina, but a comparison between
himself
and Kristen. Kristen was right now as he had been when he met Nina. She looked strong, but looks could be deceiving. Inside of everyone taking their first shaky steps was the potential to screw up royally.

As he had with Nina.

Jason wasn't worried that Kristen was using him. He was worried that if Dean hurt Kristen, she'd spiral out of control as he had after Nina's death...and she'd lose her dream.

She caught his hand, as naturally, as perfectly, as if they belonged together, and crazy fear raced through Dean.

What if he hurt her?

What if something he said or did ultimately hurt her enough to destroy her dream?

Some people really did only get one shot at life.

What if he ruined hers?

“So Dom and Ginny took the baby to their room. They'll leave him with a nanny and be back, but I think it's so cute that they are hands-on parents.”

He did too. He imagined that being raised by a nanny could be as cold and unhappy as being raised by a grandmother who didn't want you.

So he couldn't even think he'd work out his fears of being a bad father by hiring help. Help wasn't what a kid wanted or needed. Love was. Love from a parent.

His blood ran cold at the truth of it. He slid his hand out of Kristen's.

“I...um...need to mingle with my staff.”

Her smiled grew. “Great. I'd love to meet them.”

He took another step back. “No. I'm fine. You mingle with your potential benefactors.”

“I've already mingled. I talked with everyone in the receiving line.” She grinned. “Any more talk and I'm going to look obnoxious.”

She could never look, act or be obnoxious. She was too honest. Too open. And he was nowhere near that.

He was grouchy, lonely, driven. And two weeks in her company couldn't change that. Just as two weeks in her company couldn't possibly cause them to fall in love.

He took another step back. “I don't want you to come with me.”

Her eyes brimmed with confusion. “What?”

“Look, I get it that you're excited. I get it that things are going your way. But this is my company, my legacy. I don't want or need your help.”

He let the words fall out, deliberately cruel, to chase her away, but also to remind her that she didn't really know him. And getting to know him would be stupid because, in the end, she wouldn't like the person she would find.

He took another step back. “Goodbye, Kristen.”

He said it the same way he had the night he'd first kissed her, intending it to be the last time he saw her. Except this time, it wasn't an easy decision. This time he knew her enough to recognize what he was giving up.

He took one last look at her face, one last long glance into her pretty green eyes, and walked away.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

T
HE
REST
OF
the reception was a whirlwind for Kristen. Though she'd told Dean she didn't want to make a nuisance of herself with potential benefactors, everybody seemed interested in her cause. Everybody had advice. Start a blog. Do a Kickstarter campaign. Get on Facebook.

By the time she was free enough to look for Dean, he had gone.

She didn't understand what had happened. One minute everything between them was perfect. Warm. Romantic. But also casual, like two people so in tune they didn't have to work at getting along. And the next he was running away from her.

Telling herself not to make a big deal of it, she went home that night, took off her pretty pink gown and fell into a restless sleep. The next morning, she went to the hotel to see him, but he was already working. When she stopped by the meeting room, he had Jason tell her that he was too busy to be interrupted.

“We're at a pivotal moment,” he said, smiling patiently. “I finally got him working with staff.
He
told me that there were to be no interruptions.” He peered at her over his glasses. “From anyone.” He smiled benignly. “It's best that you don't come back. He's a busy man, who really doesn't date. Now that he's made up with the royal family, he'll be dealing with them.”

Her heart about pounded itself out of her chest. If it hadn't been for their dance the night before, she might—
might
—have wondered if he hadn't used her to pave the way to make up with Prince Alex.

But that was absurd.

Wasn't it?

She hadn't done anything to facilitate him talking to Eva and Alex—

Except bring him to Grennady.

And tell the princess he was in Grennady two days before they returned home so that Eva had time to get Alex acclimated...

So that by the time they did meet, both Alex and Dean were in a good enough frame of mind to make amends rather than sling accusations.

The truth of it settled in on her, made her breath shiver and her heart hurt.

Once again, she'd been taken in by somebody who used her.

And like an idiot, she'd fallen in love with him.

Except all she had was Jason's word that he didn't want her around.

So that night, she waited until she knew Dean had gone back to his suite. Standing in a quiet corner of the hotel lobby, she watched as he stepped into the elevator for the penthouse. Then she used the house phone to call him. He answered on the second ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it's me, Kristen. I stopped by to see you before but Jason said you were busy.”

“We're on the verge of being ready to ship the games to beta testers.”

“That's great.”

“So you can understand why we don't want any interruptions. I appreciate everything you did for me with Alex and Princess Eva, but we have work to do now.”

He hung up the phone and Kristen just stared at the receiver in her hand shell-shocked.

He really had used her.

* * *

It had physically hurt Dean to disconnect the call. But he knew this was for her own good. He deliberately led her down a path where she'd draw some wrong conclusions about him and his intentions, to prevent her from trying to get back into his life.

She was a good person and he was a bad bet.

But every day it hurt a little more. Christmas decorations once again looked tarnished. Taunting. He didn't want to hear Christmas music. Didn't want to eat Christmas cookies. Didn't want to see even one Christmas tree. He might be busy, but he was also alone, empty. And he felt the way he had when he was six or eight or even ten. The world around him was celebrating, happy. And he was alone.

Within a few days the bugs in the games were nearly gone. They tested and retested, found new bugs and fixed them, and by Christmas Eve morning, they were done.

He gave the staff the option of going home for Christmas but everyone unanimously said no. They wanted to spend Christmas in the winter paradise they'd grown to love.

Dean almost took the plane back to New York, but the smart businessman in him couldn't miss the Christmas Eve ball being thrown by the royal family. Grennady had brought his staff back to life. Grennady had saved his company. As a thank-you, he'd made an informal agreement with Princess Eva to bring his staff to Grennady two times a year for corporate retreats. Though it wasn't the commitment she had hoped for, it had given her the idea to entice other tech companies to do the same. He would not be so rude as to walk out on celebrating with the royal family who—in spite of all odds—had become an asset to him.

But he also couldn't stay in the penthouse an entire afternoon, waiting for the hands of the clock to move far enough that he could dress for the ball. So he put on his parka, caught the bus to the resort and snowboarded until his feet were tired and his nose was frozen.

He found new trails, bypassing the ordinary routes usually taken by tourists and suddenly found himself in the most pristine, peaceful valley he'd ever seen.

He reverently swooshed down a small slope to the center so he could take it all in, the mountains, the blue sky, the silence, but when he slid down the final hill, he realized he wasn't alone.

Prince Alex stood staring at the mountains.

He turned to go, but Alex said, “I hear you back there. This isn't my personal mountain. You're welcome to stay.”

Dean winced. “Are you sure?”

Obviously recognizing Dean's voice, Alex turned to face him. “It's you.”

Alex might have forgiven Dean, his country might have made an alliance with Dean's company, but he'd also told Dean they'd never be friends.

Which Dean totally understood. He quickly said, “You stay. I'll go.”

But Alex shook his head. “No. As I said at dinner the night you came to the palace, we can't avoid each other.” He laughed. “Especially not now when you've made agreements with my wife.”

Dean took one foot off his board and used it to flip it off the ground and into his hands.

Alex frowned. “Still a pro I see.”

“It was kind of like riding a bike.”

“Good.”

“Yes, thank you.”

The world became eerily quiet. It was odd seeing Alex in a parka rather than a dark suit or a tux. Dean said, “This is a far cry from the Mediterranean.”

Alex gazed around at the wall of mountain on the horizon. “Yes. It is. But it's beautiful here. In a lot of ways, Grennady feels more like home to me than Xaviera.”

“Princess Eva is a wonderful person.”

“Most of the people in Grennady are wonderful. They're kind. Loyal. Fiercely protective of their own.”

“Why do I get the feeling you're trying to tell me something?”

“Because Eva and I are worried that you're going to hurt Kristen.”

Dean winced. “You don't have to worry about Kristen. I scared her off at the reception last week.”

Alex took a cautious step toward him. “You did?”

Dean shook his head. “I shouldn't tell you this, but it's easy to see Kristen's the kind of woman who wants everything. Not just a career but kids. A family. I'm not that guy.”

Alex frowned. “You don't want a family?”

He did. He desperately did. After two visits with Kristen, her brother and her parents, he wanted a real home, real Christmases, a wife to share his dreams, kids to give his life warmth and meaning...

Dean raised his hands. “What difference does it make? She wants something I can't give her.”

“You can't have children?”

“No.” He shook his head. “It's not that. I didn't have much of a childhood.”

“Being a genius?”

“And being raised by someone who was tired. I had no father. No male influences. And my work takes up most of my time. Kristen deserves somebody named Sven who will be what she needs.”

“So you scared her off?”

He shrugged.

“Well, this explains why she's barely spoken this week.”

Dean's heart thumped. “You've seen her?”

“We tried to set up two meetings but she wouldn't come. Said she was busy with Christmas prep with her mom and we accepted that.” Alex's eyes narrowed. “But that wasn't it. She was probably at home licking her wounds.”

Dean said, “I'm sorry.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I love her. Everything about her. But she deserves better.”

Alex put his hands on his hips and sighed heavily as he looked at the sky for a few seconds. “You are a crazy weird man, Dean Suminski. I shouldn't help you but I'm going to.”

“Help me?”

He took a long breath, glanced at the mountains, then looked at Dean again. “It doesn't matter if you think you're made to have kids or not, marriage material or not. If you've found someone who makes you want all those things, then you don't let the chance go by.”

Alex shifted his ski poles. “You work things out. You talk about things. And in the end, everything comes together.”

Hating that assessment, Dean scoffed. “Like destiny? Or maybe magic?”

Alex laughed, pushed his goggles over his eyes. “It isn't magic. It's work.” Using his poles he swooshed himself down the slope, then stopped and in a spray of snow faced Dean again. “It's a lot of work,” he called up the mountain. “But it's worth it. Don't let your chance pass you by. Because if you really love her, and I think you do, you're going to regret it.”

* * *

Kristen had all but decided not to go to the royal family's Christmas Eve party when her mom appeared in her room. “You're not dressed.”

Kristen sat up on her bed, saw her mom in a bright red Christmas gown and her eyebrows rose. “You are dressed. What's up?”

“Your dad and I were invited to this year's Christmas party too.”

“Really?”

“Something about my position with you in your charity.” She sat on the bed and nudged Kristen's shoulder. “Thanks for putting your mom on your board.”

Kristen laughed. “You're one of the smartest people I know. You might not be able to make a million-dollar contribution, but I think we need you.”

“So, since I'm such a smart person, I'm going to give you a piece of advice.”

“I'm not going to the party.”

“I know you don't want to see Dean, but your days of cocooning yourself in here because you're upset over a guy dumping you are done. You don't have that luxury. You need to go to this party.” She rose from the bed. “Even if you go late, you need to go. If nothing else, you need to show your benefactors that in spite of being upset you will do your job.”

Kristen sighed.

Her mother headed out the door. “Your dad and I are leaving now. We don't want to miss a minute. I'd thought we'd all ride together but we don't want to wait for you to dress.”

She laughed as her mom disappeared from sight, but when she was gone, she squeezed her eyes shut. Her mother was right. She needed to put in an appearance. She needed to look strong and happy because her charity was coming together. She couldn't let losing one man, one man who had used her, cause her to crumble.

She had to be strong.

Unfortunately, because she'd convinced herself it was okay to stay home, she hadn't shopped that week and she had nothing to wear.

She suddenly missed Stella.

Then she saw the black gown hanging in the back of her closet. Memories of how fun that party had been caused her heart to stutter and she almost decided she couldn't do this. She couldn't see Dean. She couldn't face the fact that he'd used her.

But as quickly as she thought that, she realized she had to see Dean. She had to prove to herself, to him and to everybody that nothing would keep her from doing her duty for her charity.

* * *

A quick trip through the receiving line at the royal family's Christmas Eve party gained Dean entrance to the ballroom. Huge silver and gold ornaments hung from the high ceiling with tinsel that arched between each bell and ball and then looped over to the next. Glittering crystal vases held red rose centerpieces on the round tables. The table for the royal family was awash with twinkling white lights. Replete with the scents of roast goose, good wine and sweet treats, the room smelled like heaven.

Dean saw every style and color of gown, glittering necklaces and every hairdo from simple to fancy. But he didn't seen Kristen, and he wondered, as Alex had said, if he hadn't let his chance pass him by.

He'd thought through everything Alex had said and knew he was right. Dean did love Kristen. He was afraid. But he'd spent most of his childhood alone, then ten years unable to trust, and he couldn't do that anymore. He wanted everything Kristen had to offer.

When he still hadn't seen her at dinner, he glanced at the entry one more time, worried that he'd hurt her enough that she'd decided to miss this ball. King Mason had made a Christmas toast. Dancing had begun. She'd be here by now, even if she only intended to put in an appearance for her royal family's sake.

When he saw her parents mingling without her, his breath stuttered and the truth settled in. She wasn't coming.

Jason walked up to him with two flutes of champagne. “Here. We need to toast.”

“Toast?”

“Our success today. With that game going to beta testers a week early, I think we proved we're everything we said we were.”

Dean laughed in spite of himself. “I guess we did.”

“I thought I'd lost you to the pretty blonde, but in the end you came back stronger, if that's possible.”

Dean's brow furrowed. “Wait. What?”

“You and Kristen. The thing between you was pulling you away. I had to put a wedge between you.”

Dean just stared at him for a second. “First, you didn't put a wedge between us. You said some things that made me realize I might not be good for her. But in the end it was my choice.” Not that he was proud of it, but he didn't like the idea that Jason seemed to think he controlled him. “Second, if you ever do anything like that again, you'll be fired so fast your head will spin.” Even as he said that, he wondered what he was still doing at this party. He handed the champagne glass back to Jason. “Now, I'm going to go find her and fix this.”