A Mobster's Menu for Mother's Day Brunch (3 page)

“Volatile,” Uncle Tommy said, speaking loudly so Betty could hear. “Volatile is the threat to break out in open violence.”

“I don’t see any violence here,” Betty said. “Except for that olive attack.”

“I’m trying to make an important announcement here!” Jeremy said.

“You mean the one about Carla being pregnant and you had to run off to get married?” Mary Charlotte asked.

“Well, yes,” Jeremy stammered. “I mean no. Well…yes. Damn. This isn’t going like I planned.”

“Somebody said a swear word!” a kid shouted from the corner of the room. “I’m going to tell my mom!”

Carla took Jeremy’s hand, and they stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment.

“Awwww,” Annalisa said. “They love each other.”

“I guess I can get over the eloping part,” Aunt Shirley said. “It may take some time, but as long as you two are happy.”

“Hey, wait a minute,” Betty said to Jeremy. “Does your mother know about this news?”

“Well—” Jeremy hesitated.

“Hot dog!” Betty exclaimed. “I bet you wanted to tell her in person, am I right?”

Jeremy nodded his head slowly. “We did.”

“Then we’re going to the airport with you,” Betty stated. “She gets in next Wednesday, right?”

“Wait, no—” Jeremy said.

“Airport?” Carla asked.

“Sure, we can all go. We can tell Jeremy’s mother that we pried the information out of Jeremy and Carla today. We didn’t want Jeremy’s mom’s feelings hurt because they didn’t tell her first. So we’ll soften the blow by all showing up together at the airport when she gets home from St. Barts. Boy, this will be something.”

“I’ll bring the balloons!” Charlie said. “I’ve got a box of those left.”

“I’ll bring the camera to memorialize the event,” Betty said. “I’ve got one of those fancy digital cameras because I sell stuff on eBay. We can post the pictures on our social media sites.”

Carla gave Betty a surprised look.

“I know, I know,” Betty said. “I tell everybody I don’t like all these new-fangled gadgets, but sometimes a fib a little bit. eBay rocks when it comes to selling surplus merchandise.”

“Can I talk now?” Jeremy asked. “Can I just get a word in here somewhere?”

“Of course dear,” Aunt Shirley said. “Go ahead.”

Jeremy turned to Carla, taking both her hands in his. “I love you so much, Carla. I promise to stand by you in thick and thin. Especially whenever we’re dealing with our families. As far as I’m concerned, you can ice my cupcakes forever and ever.”

He reached over to place a hand on her stomach. “And I also promise to stand by this little person, whoever he or she turns out to be.” Jeremy leaned over and kissed Carla passionately.

“Whooo, whooo!” Stephen yelled from the kids’ table. All the women, including Annalisa, dabbed their eyes with the napkins.

“That was one of the most romantic Mother’s Day announcements I’ve ever heard,” Betty said.

“I think a toast is in order,” Uncle Frank said.

“Hey, where are the waiters?” Betty asked. “I’d like another mimosa.”

“I think they ran off when Uncle Tommy made that violent reference,” Harry said. “They looked paler than Carla here, and then they ran into the kitchen.”

Charlie got up and stuck his head in the kitchen door. “Nope, no waiters,” he said. “Becky? Tony?” he yelled. “The only one in here is the cook, and he doesn’t speak any English.”

Charlie disappeared into the kitchen, and Harry followed.

“What’s this about a family crest?” Carla asked. “Aunt Shirley said you have a family tradition with a family crest.”

“Oh, you’ll find out about that during your wedding reception,” Aunt Shirley said. “Since you eloped, we’ll just have to cram all the family traditions into one giant wedding celebration.”

“Reception?” Jeremy asked. “Wedding celebration? What?”

“You didn’t think you were getting away without all the traditions just because you eloped, did you?” Aunt Shirley asked.

“Well…” Jeremy said.

“When did you get married?” Annalisa asked.

“St. Patrick’s Day,” Carla said. “Carla and I had a bit of a fight that day, but we reconciled.”

“I heard about the drinking going on at O’Malley’s pub,” Betty said. “I bet that’s when you got knocked up, too.”

“Discretion!” Aunt Shirley shouted. “How many times do I have to say it?”

“You can say it as many times as you want,” Betty said. “Am I right? Is it a St. Patrick’s Day baby?”

Jeremy and Carla shared a warm smile.

“It is,” Mary Charlotte exclaimed. “I’ve got the shine, you know.”

Harry and Charlie came out of the kitchen, swinging the door wide. They both wore chef’s aprons, and had tea towels on their shoulders. Harry carried a giant tray full of cupcakes, and Charlie brought in a pitcher of mimosas in one hand and a pitcher of kiddie cocktails in the other.

“We couldn’t find Becky or Tony the waiters,” Charlie said. “So we’re going to step in for them. We’d look more like servers with name tags, but this is the best we could do.”

Charlie poured mimosas for the adults and kiddie cocktails for the kids and Carla. Harry doled out the cupcakes.

“Your icing is perfection,” Aunt Shirley said to Carla, admiring her cupcake. It was frosted with buttermilk icing, decorated with delicate pastel flowers. “You’re as good as Martha Stewart.”

“Martha Stewart is here?” Betty said, craning her head. “I love Martha Stewart. She’s like the MacGyver of cooking and crafting.”

“To Jeremy and his family,” Uncle Tommy said, lifting his glass. Everyone raised their glasses and drank.

“When is the ham coming?” Uncle Frank said, poking at the crumbled remains of his mini quiche.

“This is it,” Betty said loudly. “Remember, we’re having a mini intercontinental brunch? Have an éclair!” She turned to Mary Charlotte. “Boy, dealing with old people is a pain. You have to talk so loud and they’re forgetting stuff all the time.”

“Well, the big table is certainly different than the kids’ table,” Annalisa said. “Although I find them equally chaotic, the conversation at the adult table is definitely more interesting.”

“At least you don’t have to deal with olives being stuck up your nose,” Charlie said.

Carla had a smile on her face. She turned to Jeremy.

“What?” Jeremy asked.

“Just wait until we tell
my
family,” Carla responded.

“Oh boy,” Jeremy said.

“Just wait until our families
meet
,” Aunt Shirley said. Everyone stared at their cupcakes, soaking in that information.

“Oh boy,” Jeremy repeated.