A Mother's Wish (11 page)

Effie stood in the doorway, not knowing whether to enter or to go away and allow him time to recover, but his shoulders were shaking and she could see tears seeping through his fingers as he clasped his hands over his eyes.

‘Are you all right, Arnie?’

He mumbled something unintelligible.

She picked her way carefully around the scattered items on the floor and, overcome with pity, she put her arm around his shoulders. ‘I’m not hurt and the audience thought it was part of the act. Didn’t you hear them applauding you?’

He stopped sobbing for a moment, gulped and sniffed. ‘You’re just saying that.’

‘No, cross my heart and hope to die if I tell a lie. They loved you, Arnie.’

He dropped his hands to his sides and lifted his head, smiling at Effie as though she had given him the best news in the world. ‘They loved me?’

She nodded vigorously. ‘I just need a bit more practice. I expect it was my fault that I fell, and maybe you had just a little too much oil on your skin. You were a bit slippery.’

He jumped to his feet and gave her a hug that made her wince. ‘You are a good girl, Effie.
We will begin in the morning and perfect our act. I will make a star of you, my girl, although you will never eclipse the Great Arnoldo.’ Grinning like a happy child, Arnoldo swept the mess from his table, and scrabbling about in the tumble of bedclothes and cushions he produced half a loaf. ‘Will you stay for supper, little one? I have some cheese, I think, and a pork pie somewhere amongst all this clutter. As you can see, I am not the best of housekeepers. Perhaps . . .?’

The unspoken question hung in the air but Effie was beginning to understand her new boss and she smiled. ‘I’ll help you tidy up in the morning, Arnie, but now I must get back to my van and put Georgie to bed. But thank you anyway.’ She left him searching for the rest of his supper and with a feeling of relief that she had been able to help him out of his black mood, even if it had entailed a few white lies, Effie made her way back to her caravan.

The sun had set and the fair was in full swing. Naphtha flares illuminated the stalls and the merry-go-round was crowded with punters, their faces shining with delight as the horses waltzed in dizzying circles to the sound of the Dutch organ. Despite the odd shriek of agony from the booth where Jed the blacksmith was pulling teeth at a penny a go, the atmosphere was a happy one. Dusk was
slowly swallowing up the world outside the brightly lit fairground, and the summer night was heavy with the mixed odours that were now becoming so familiar to Effie that she barely noticed them. She was still stiff and sore but the pain was lessening and she quickened her pace, eager to get home so that she could be there when Jessie returned with Georgie. It was comforting to know that they were safe here amongst the fairground folk. If only Tom were here, Effie thought as she threaded her way between the vans; how happy and excited he would be to share this life with her. She gazed up into the darkening sky where a silver fingernail of moon shone like one of the glass pendants on the merry-go-round, and the evening star twinkled like a friendly eye. She remembered what Leah had said about her lost child and how she imagined him looking down at her from the stars. Perhaps Owen and her ma were up there too. Effie felt a superstitious shiver run down her spine. What would Owen think if he knew that she had felt something awaken in her that she thought had gone to the grave with him? Would he ever forgive her if she allowed herself to love another man? She paused as she entered the circle of light from the camp fires and saw Gert sitting on the steps of her caravan.

‘So you’ve met him then.’

Effie stared at her, thinking she must have misheard. ‘I’m sorry, what did you say?’

‘Beware, little one. The heart leads us down strange pathways, and you will soon have to choose which one to take. You will find love only to lose it again. I see treachery and dark water, mist and hidden danger.’

EFFIE TRIED HARD
to put Gert’s grim warning out of her mind, and for the most part she was successful. Her days were filled from the moment she awakened in the morning until late at night when she curled up on the bunk with Georgie in her arms. Each morning she helped Leah set up her stall while Georgie played with the children under Jessie’s strict eye. Then it was time to practise the act with Arnoldo, but first Effie made sure that the interior of his caravan was clean and tidy. Having brought Arnoldo’s home up to a reasonable standard of cleanliness it was just a matter of tidying up after him each day, and Effie found herself slipping into the role of confidante.

Arnoldo, it seemed, had fallen madly in love with Ethel, the bareback rider, but Elmo was fiercely protective of his sister, and did not consider the strong man to be good enough for her. Effie had tried several times to talk to the elusive Ethel, but she was shy and seemed to be very much under the influence of her brother, although he did occasionally allow
her to assist Dr Destiny to peddle his pills and potions. Ethel was also called upon to help Jed when the occasion arose, and this was usually to calm a nervous patient or to spirit them away and help staunch the blood if the afflicted gums continued to haemorrhage. Effie had begun to suspect that Jed also harboured feelings for Ethel, and, as Arnoldo was also aware of this fact, she feared that the two strong men might resort to fisticuffs as they battled for the young lady’s affections.

Despite all this heightened emotion, Effie considered that she had her own feelings under control. Her heart did a little skip and a jump every time she saw Frank, but although he was always nice to her, there was nothing in his manner to suggest that the attraction was mutual. She tried to convince herself that this was good, although deep down she was a little disappointed, but whatever her own personal feelings might be Effie remained focused on her main aim which was to find Tom. Arnoldo paid her a small wage for her part in the show but it was barely enough to feed herself and Georgie. To her chagrin, she was often forced to rely on the generosity of the other fairground folk who gave her meat for the pot, usually rabbit or pigeon that the younger boys went out on the common to snare. Effie’s lack of anything decent to wear
had been noticed by Laila, who came to the caravan one morning with a brightly coloured array of clothes which she said were outmoded. Effie would be doing her a favour if she took them off her hands as they were taking up room in her van and she needed the space. It was all said with such a charming smile and the kindliest of intentions that Effie could not refuse. In fact she was delighted to have something clean and pretty to wear, even if the garments were a little flamboyant for her taste.

At the end of a fortnight there was still no sign of Toby or Tom. The fair was being packed up ready to leave the next day, but without a horse Effie had no way of moving her caravan. She sought out Frank senior and found him busy taking the merry-go-round apart. ‘Mr Tinsley, may I have a word with you?’

He looked down at her from the top of the canopy. ‘What can I do for you, Miss Effie?’

‘The first thing is that I don’t have a horse to pull my van, and secondly, I’ve never handled the reins before.’

He climbed down to stand beside her. ‘The two-headed bitch took a couple of our best horses when she ran off with the lizard man, but that’s hardly your fault. We always keep some spare nags so that’s not a problem, and I’ll get Frank junior to show you how to
harness the beast. He can drive you tomorrow and teach you how to handle the reins. It’s not difficult, and you seem like a bright girl, you’ll soon learn.’

He went back to his work and Effie could see that it was useless to protest, and she had no valid excuse for refusing Frank junior’s help. The thought of spending time alone with him was exciting, but admitting her attraction for another man so soon after Owen’s death made her feel guilty. Gert’s grim warning was never far from her mind and that only added to her dilemma.

‘Stuff and nonsense,’ she murmured as she walked back to her van. ‘You’re just being foolish, Effie Grey.’ She smiled as she saw Georgie and some of the children playing ring-a-roses under Jessie’s watchful eye, and seeing his happy face made Effie even more conscious of how their lives had changed for the better. Even so, she could not forget that the
Margaret
should have been Georgie’s birthright. She did not care for herself but she minded very much for her son, and for Owen also. Not for the first time, she was thankful that he could not see how his father had treated them. She went inside the van to finish making everything secure for the journey to their next camp on Wanstead Flats where there was an annual summer fair. Effie had asked
Zilla if she thought that Toby might be there, and she had nodded emphatically. Toby Tapper, she had said, was never one to miss a good business opportunity. Effie could only hope that Zilla was right as she packed the pieces of china that Leah had given her by way of payment for helping on the stall. She wrapped them in newspaper and stowed them away so that they would not get broken as the cart rattled over rutted tracks. Having satisfied herself that she could do no more that afternoon, she went outside to sit on the steps and enjoy a brief respite.

She leaned back against the door, closing her eyes and welcoming the soft caress of the sunshine. There would be one show tonight and then she had been advised to get a good night’s sleep as they would leave early in the morning. Tomorrow she might see Toby and she prayed that Tom would be with him.

‘You look so peaceful that it’s a shame to disturb you.’

Effie opened her eyes and found herself looking up into Frank’s handsome face. She knew that she was blushing but she hoped that he would mistake it for a healthy flush brought about by exposure to the sun. ‘Good evening, Frank.’

He put one booted foot on the bottom step,
leaning forward so that his face was close to hers. She could smell the male scent of him and the salty tang of clean sweat. She smiled shyly. ‘Did your pa send you?’

He held out his hand. ‘He did, my dear. I’m to find you a good strong horse and show you how to deal with him. Tomorrow I’m to drive you to Wanstead and I’ll teach you how to handle the reins. We’ll have a very pleasant journey, Miss Effie.’

‘If we’re to be travelling companions I think you could call me Effie.’

‘Effie it is then.’ He took her by the hand. ‘Come, we’ll choose a nice quiet animal that won’t give you any cause for alarm. You aren’t frightened of horses are you?’

She allowed him to help her to her feet. ‘No, certainly not. I used to groom Champion and sometimes I led him along the towpath, when Owen was alive.’

Frank met her gaze with a sympathetic smile. ‘Your late husband?’

‘Yes. Owen died of consumption before Georgie was born.’

‘And you lived on a narrowboat. I’ve always thought that that must be a nice peaceful way of life. Quite different from the hectic way we live.’ He squeezed her hand and his eyes caressed her face. ‘We’ll have plenty of time to talk tomorrow. I’d like to hear every detail
of your past, Effie. I’m looking forward to our time together.’

All next day the cavalcade of caravans, carts and wagons plied its way along the dusty road which crossed the marshes and skirted the deep green depths of Epping Forest. It was late evening by the time Frank drew the horse to a halt, and he leapt from his seat to unharness the tired animal and allow it to join the others as they slaked their thirst in the nearby pond. Having consumed a bowl of bread and milk purchased from a farm along the way, Georgie had been asleep for the last couple of miles and he lay in Effie’s arms, the picture of contentment. She raised herself with difficulty, realising with a feeling of pride that her small son had put on weight since leaving the
Margaret
, and she was certain that he had grown at least an inch. She carried him into the van and laid him on the bunk, tucking a blanket around him and dropping a kiss on his cheek. Having satisfied herself that he was safe and unlikely to awaken until morning, Effie climbed down the wooden steps and stretched her cramped limbs. All around her was a hive of activity as the men began to unload the wagons and set up the stalls while the women set about making camp, lighting fires and preparing the evening meal. Set free
after a long day of enforced inactivity, the older children shrieked joyfully as they raced about.

Spirals of smoke began to drift upwards into an opal sky, and the aroma of cooking mingled with the scent of woodsmoke. Effie set about building the fire as Leah had shown her. Orange tongues of flame licked around the kindling and Effie added more wood. Satisfied that it was burning well she reached for the wooden pail, intent on fetching water, but a strong male hand covered hers and she looked up into Frank’s engaging smile.

‘Allow me, Effie.’

Pride would not allow her to accept without a protest, however mild. ‘It’s all right, Frank. I can manage on my own, ta.’

‘I’m sure you can, but you must be tired and you don’t want the boy to wake up and find himself all alone.’

It was the most persuasive argument that he could have chosen and Effie gave in without any further objections. She watched him stride off towards the pond and her heart went out to him. It was a long time since a man had given her his undivided attention and for the most part Frank had been the perfect travelling companion. She had found herself telling him about the hardships of the workhouse, of her time working as a barmaid
for Ben Hawkins and her brief marriage to Owen. She glossed over the treatment she had received from Jacob, but she told him about Tom’s plight and her desperate attempts to find him. She ended with the hope that he was safe with Toby. Frank had listened attentively until then, but at the mention of Toby’s name his manner had altered and he had turned to her with a scowl marring his good looks.

‘You should not have anything to do with a man like Tapper. He’s a didicoi and a cheat.’

‘That’s not true. Toby has been a good friend to me.’

‘Don’t ever put your trust in a man like him. He’s bad news, Effie. Very bad news.’