A Past Revenge (19 page)

How her heart suffered for him now, for the pain and disillusionment he must be going through after seven years of believing himself infertile to know that her daughter, the child that had so angered him when he found out of her existence, was his own daughter. How could any woman, for whatever reason, be so cruel as to tell a man like Nick he was incapable of being a father.

Nick was the sort of man who would have wanted a big family, sons and daughters to carry on the Andracas name. And he would have been a good father to them too. The fact that Beverley Andracas had got away with her lie all these years was a cruelty that must be tearing Nick apart.

But the pain of believing himself infertile was now over for him, and he would start to think of a future for himself once that knowledge hit him. The question she had to answer was where, and if, she fitted into those plans.

There could be no doubt that she loved him, deeply, that she had never stopped loving him. But
he had hurt her once, more than she cared to think about. Admittedly, she could now understand his behaviour a little better, could even feel pity for what he must have suffered, but she didn't know if she could ever give him her love so trustingly a second time. In her confusion she wanted to see the only people who could maybe help and advise her.

Her father was drinking whisky when she was shown into the lounge, her mother shooting him concerned glances, which wasn't surprising when he hardly drank.

'I don't quite know where to start,' Danielle began tentatively.

'With Andracas, I should imagine,' her father growled.

She frowned. 'As a matter of fact, yes.'

'I knew it,' he snapped. 'Ellie, I don't
—
'

'Thomas, you said you wouldn't interfere,' her mother gently reminded him.

'I know,' he scowled. 'But I can't sit by and watch her ruin her life over a man like him.'

'I think you should both know that Nick has asked me to marry him,' she told them quietly.

'Marry him ...!' her father repeated dazedly.

She nodded. 'Yes.'

'Good God—marriage!' her father rasped.
'I
thought the man was a confirmed bachelor. You told him no, of course.'

'Thomas!' her mother frowned at him, obviously able to read more in Danielle's expression than he, anger blinding him to anything but his own disapproval. 'Let Ellie speak.'

He still looked angry, but at least he was quiet now, glaring belligerently at the whisky in his glass.

Danielle moistened her lips, nervous now that she had both their attention. 'First of all,' her voice sounded very harsh in the silence. 'I didn't meet Nick for the first time a few months ago, I knew him before that.'

'But—' a warning look from her mother once again silenced her father. 'Go on,' he muttered.

'Seven years ago,' she added pointedly, waiting for their reaction to that.

Her father seemed speechless suddenly, her mother finally the one to answer. 'Ellie, is he—'She began again, very pale herself now. 'Is he—'

'Nicole's father?' she finished gently, hoping to lessen the shock. 'Yes, he is.'

Her father swallowed what was left of his whisky. 'He was married seven years ago,' he grated.

'In the process of being divorced—because of his infertility,' she added softly.

'Tell us everything, Ellie,' her mother gently prompted.

As she did so she felt her own anger towards Beverley Andracas grow, finding the trust for Nick that hadn't quite been there this morning.

She had been as much in the wrong in the past; knew now, and had known then, that Nick would never have denied the existence of his own child, even without the fact that it would have proved his ex-wife a liar. Her own pride, in the fact that he couldn't love
her,
had been what had denied them being together then.

And it was only pride that prevented them being together now, using the grudge of the past to deny them the happiness they could have together. Pride was only a fleeting emotion, being with Nick was to be alive, fully, vibrantly alive.

'And I want you both to know,' she concluded with a new resolve. 'That if Nick still wants me, I'm going to marry him.'

'You love him,' her father stated flatly.

'I always have,' she nodded. 'And this time he loves me too.'

Her father took her in his arms to hold her tight. 'If he's what you want then he's what we want too.'

'Thank you, Daddy,' there were tears in her eyes as she hugged him.

'And I expect to be able to give the bride away,' he added sternly. 'The man's arrogant enough to just take you!'

She laughed happily. 'And I may just let him.' She sobered suddenly. 'But I have to find him first. He was very upset when he left me.'

'He's strong enough to bounce back,' her father assured her.

She hoped so, she sincerely hoped so. There could be no doubting that Nick was a strong man, but even he couldn't be expected to take the news of his daughter's birth, and death, calmly.

Barnham had no idea of his employer's whereabouts when she phoned the house, and although he could have been lying by instruction— she doubted Nick wanted company just now!—she didn't think he was. Which only left the apartment.

She received no answer to her knock, but when she tried the door she found it was open, going quietly inside. There was no evidence of Nick's presence in the lounge, and yet she knew he was there, could smell the cigars he always smoked, finally tracking him down to the small study she found off the lounge, seated behind the desk, his head buried in his hands.

'Nick.'

He looked up at the sound of her voice, his face haggard, his eyes bloodshot. 'Danielle,' his voice sounded strained.

She moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue. 'I've brought you a present.'

He seemed to stiffen, sitting straighter in his chair. 'Oh yes?' he was very wary.

She reached into the pocket of her denims, taking out the small tissue-wrapped object. 'I want you to have this,' she put it down in front of him on the desk, stepping back.

His hands shook slightly as he slowly unwrapped the object, staring at the miniature of Nicole as it lay flat in the palm of his hand. As Danielle watched and waited for his reaction she saw the tears start to fall down the harshness of his grooved cheeks.

'Oh, Nick!' she choked, running to put her arms around him, feeling him shudder against her as he buried his face against her breasts, sobs wracking his body. 'Nick, it's all right, darling,' she soothed, hating to see this strong man bowed by his own grief, but knowing that it was a necessary part of the healing process. 'It's all right, Nick,' she repeated firmly as she felt him regaining control.

His arms tightened about her. 'Why are you here?' he asked gruffly.

'To give you your daughter. And me too, if you still want me,' she added uncertainly.

He looked up at that, the ravages of emotion still evident in the pale harshness of his face. 'You're the one thing I can't live without!' he groaned his need.

Her hands framed his face as she bent to kiss him.
'I
feel the same way about you,' she told him between kisses. 'I love you, Nick. I love you!'

'Are you sure?' humility didn't sit well on his broad shoulders. 'I've hurt you very badly.'

'You were hurt more yourself.'

'Damn Beverley to hell.' He stood up agitatedly, moving away from her.
'I
telephoned the specialist in New York that we were both dealing with,' he spoke woodenly. 'He told me that both Beverley and my tests were positive, that there was no reason either of us shouldn't physically have a child.' His hands clenched at his sides. 'He also told me that Beverley had been on the pill for most of our married life,' he ground out. 'That she had a psychological aversion to having children. She lied and deceived me for over five years, got me to agree to be the guilty party in our divorce because she knew I couldn't take the humiliation of being publicly branded infertile. She played on my self-conceit—and I fell for it.'

'And now?' Danielle prompted softly.

'Now I could wring her neck for what she did! I was in London when the results of the tests were available, I believed Beverley when she told me she had seen the specialist and he said it was my fault we could never have a child. And at the same time Nicole was already forming inside you.' He looked at her with tortured eyes. 'I would have wanted my daughter, Danielle.'

'And what do you want now?' she persisted.

His eyes darkened almost to black. 'You. I just want you. Will you marry me?'

Relief flooded through her.
'I
thought you would never ask me again!' She ran into his waiting arms. 'Of course I'll marry you,' she told him eagerly.

'Tomorrow?' he groaned, his arms closing about her convulsively.

She touched the hardness of his cheek with gentle fingertips.
'I
don't think things can be arranged that quickly in this country,' she said regretfully. 'And my father insists on giving me away,' she added lightly.

Nick frowned. 'You've told him about us?'

'I've told both my parents about you.'

'God, they must hate my guts too,' he sighed.

'I
told them everything, Nick,' she said gently. 'And they understood.'

'Then you must have very sympathetic parents,' his expression was grim.

She shook her head. 'No one could blame you for what happened in the past.'

'Not even you?' his gaze avidly searched her face.

'Not even me,' her arms tightened about him. 'You were right about my motives, Nick, I did love you seven years ago, I would never have gone to bed with you if I hadn't.'

'I
know that. Now,' he sighed his regret that he hadn't realised it then.
'I
was so wrapped up in my own bitterness I couldn't see anything else.'

'It doesn't matter now, can't you see that?' she prompted gently. 'We love each other, and we have all of the future to show each other that, starting now,' she added enticingly.

'Not here
—
'

'Exactly here,' she looked up at him unflinchingly.

'But what happened here last time!' He looked as if the thought pained him.

'That's the reason it has to be here,' she smiled. 'We have a few ghosts to exorcise.

'You're sure?' he still looked uncertain.

'Very,' she took his hand and led him in the direction of the bedroom. 'This is a change,' she teased. 'It's usually you trying to drag me to bed!'

His mouth quirked into the ghost of a smile.
'I
just want everything to be perfect between us this time.'

'Everything
is
perfect between us,' she assured him. 'And it can only get better. Trust in me, Nick,' she encouraged as she began to unbutton his shirt.

His eyes were almost black with emotion. 'Can you trust me, that's the problem? I let you down once when you most needed me, how can you be sure I won't do it again?'

She stripped the shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the ground, feeling the way his body leapt with response in spite of himself. 'I know you well enough now to know you would have been at my side if you had known about the baby. Neither one of us can continue to brood about the past, about what might have been, we have to go forward, Nick, or not at all.'

His arms moved about her as he crushed her against his bare chest. 'I couldn't live without you, Danielle. For God's sake don't leave me!'

'I
never will,' she promised.

'My marriage to Beverley was a matter of expediency, a business merger that never worked because we just didn't love each other. But I'll love you for the rest of my life,' he told her fiercely.

She knew that, knew that once his love was given Nick would never take it back. And he had given it to her.

'You were wonderful, darling,' Nick lifted the hair at the back of her nape to kiss her, his dinner jacket discarded on a chair, his shirt partly unbuttoned.

Danielle turned into his arms. 'A dinner party for ten of your business acquaintances is child's play compared to being your wife,' she dismissed teasingly.

He looked down at her with warm grey eyes. 'Has the last six months been so difficult for you?'

It had been the most wonderful six months of her life. Nick treated her as if she were the most important thing in his life, and he was certainly the most important in hers. Only one thing persisted in marring her complete happiness, and after all this time it was something she tried not to think about too often.

'Not bad,' she gently mocked him, wrapping her arms about his neck, feeling his instantaneous response to her nearness even as she felt her own senses stir. 'Not too bad at all really,' she teased.

'Not bad!' he groaningly derided the description, burying his face in the throat. 'You make me feel guilty enough to take up the reins of my business again, and now I have to invite those people tonight because I'm so rarely at the office this is the only way they can get to see me!' he said wryly.

'I
don't make you stay at home,' she feigned innocence.

'You don't exactly kick me out of bed either,' he said dryly.

Neither of them had done much work the last six months, the slightest excuse giving them reason to stay at home together, and as Nick said, it was usually in bed. 'I'm not so stupid to deny myself that pleasure,' she gave him a smile that spoke of remembered satisfaction, none of their heated passion for each other fading the last six months of marriage, in fact it seemed to have deepened.