A Question of Impropriety (19 page)

‘But I am sorry. And I am sorry that my brother said such awful things about you. It was un for givable.'

‘You are upset. Your brother has been injured, but he will recover.' Brett resisted the temptation to take her into his arms. He drew a deep breath. ‘Robert will grow up to be a fine young man.'

‘Why were you at the colliery? Was it to speak with Simon about Robert?'

‘I wanted to put my differences with your brother to one side. Why do you think I went there? I went there to speak to him about you and me, to beg him for his help. I wanted to settle matters between us.'

Diana looked up at him; her eyes had turned a glacial blue and flinched as if he had beaten her. ‘You mean the land.'

‘That's right, the land. I wanted the problem sorted out…before…'

‘And that is why you started romancing me, isn't it? Your feud with my brother?'

Brett was silent for a long moment. He found it impossible to lie to her. And yet in this mood, he feared that she would refuse to understand. ‘Do you want me to answer that?'

‘Yes. I need the truth. I deserve the truth. Now.'

‘Very well, then—the truth. I had planned on using our appearance together at the ball to force your brother to sell me the land. But it all changed once I actually encountered you. You must believe that, Diana. I sought you out because I liked you. The ball was a triumph for you. We came together because I desired you and you desired me. Think about that.'

‘I don't want to think about that.' She put her hand to her head. ‘I wish I had never met you.'

‘And what would you have done if your brother had died in that accident?'

‘Survive!' Diana's head came up, eyes blazing.

‘Let me help you. Confide in me. I know you must be worried about your brother.' He reached out and caught her chin, forcing her blue-green gaze to meet his own grey one. She had to understand what he was saying. His motives might have been wrong at the beginning, but now
he was acting from the best possible motives. ‘I want to help. Diana, we are friends. Lovers!'

‘You have done enough.' Diana wrenched her head away. She had believed in him and it had all been a lie. ‘I think it is best if we part.'

Brett regarded Diana, and was tempted to draw her into his arms again, but retained control. Her head was high and her mouth pinched. It would only make matters worse. She had to understand how ashamed he was. How bitterly he regretted his earlier intentions, but how glad he was to know her now.

‘There is much that is unsettled between us, Diana.' He held out his arms and willed her to walked into them and lay her head against his shoulder. She re treated to the window. ‘Come away with me. Let us speak privately. We are good together.'

‘There is no
us.
Today has shown me what my responsibilities are—my brother and his son.'

‘Don't you have a responsibility towards yourself?' Brett continued on remorselessly. ‘You were happy with me. I enjoyed spending time with you. You must believe that.'

‘I have no idea what I believe any more.'

‘We were good together, Diana, and we can be good again.'

‘You have no right to say that to me.'

‘I have every right! I claim the right…after what we shared.'

She held out her hand. ‘Goodbye, Brett, I believe this is where it ends. There are times when one can't follow one's desires. I spent five years rebuilding my life. I do not intend to throw it away on some mistaken moment of passion.'

‘It does not end, until I say it does.' Brett clenched his hands at his sides. He wanted to shake her, to make her see that she was trying to erect barriers between them. He
had no intention of hurting her. He had never lifted a finger against a woman and he did not intend to start now.

‘No, it ends now. I am no wanton woman. I am a lady. And I will not be used in this manner. Did you ever think about what you were doing to me?'

‘I only thought about what you were doing to me, Diana. I…grew to like you.'

‘You used me and our friend ship. I will not be treated in this fashion!'

‘And that is your final decision. Is there any way I can make it right?' Brett tried to force his lips to turn up and his voice to purr, but all he heard was the anguish and the despair.

‘There is.' She gestured towards the door, unmoving, and unyielding. ‘Jenkins will see you out. Go, Lord Coltonby, your presence is not required here. Ever.'

‘As you wish.' Brett strode out of the room and did not dare look back.

 

‘If you set the tray down much harder, you will wake the dead.' Simon's voice caused Diana to jump as she tiptoed in the next morning to leave a pot of tea.

‘You were supposed to be asleep.'

‘I have been awake for hours.' He flashed her a smile. ‘Your pacing about your bedroom did not help. You will wear a groove in the carpet.'

‘Lord Coltonby made me angry. He…' Diana stopped. Her feelings were too new and vulnerable. She could not explain. All she knew was that he had started his seduction with the express intent of humiliating her. ‘It does not matter now.'

‘Lord Coltonby saved my life. I have been lying here thinking that. The boiler was already going when he pulled me from the engine. I misjudged the man. He is no fop
whose only concern is his clothes and his horses. He risked his life to save me, a man who bore him ill will.' His green gaze pierced hers. ‘He is an honourable man. If he says a thing, then he means it. I intend to sell him the land, Diana. I trust his motives.'

‘But you said…' Diana stared at her brother in astonishment. He seemed more relaxed than he had in a long time, as he used to be before he had married Jayne.

‘I was not thinking straight. Laudanum will do that to a man.' He held up his hand and gave a half-grimace, half-smile. ‘Not an excuse, Diana, simply an explanation. I will live yesterday for the rest of my life, but all my men survived. It will be a long time before I touch another engine.'

‘All those things you said.' Diana put her hand to her mouth. ‘They were a lie?'

‘Words of a man driven beyond his endurance. I have no proof that Coltonby and Bolt were in league together. None at all. I have no idea why Coltonby came to the colliery yesterday, but I am grateful that he did.'

‘He went to speak to you about the land. You were right, Simon, and I was wrong. He was seeking to use me. He was going to humiliate me at the ball.'

‘But he didn't.'

‘No,' Diana replied slowly. ‘But all the same, it is why he started paying me attention. I have been a fool, brother.'

‘Diana.' Her brother held out his hand. She blindly groped for it. ‘What has gone on between you two?'

‘It does not matter, brother. It is over now. Finished.' Diana slipped her hand from his. She closed her eyes. Suddenly she felt old and tired. With the saying of the words, something within her had withered and died.

‘If he ever harms a hair on your head, he is dead. I do
not care that I owe my life to him. I would gladly sacrifice it for your honour.'

‘It won't come to that.' A shiver went down her spine. ‘I promise you that. Our friend ship has finished.'

‘L
ord Coltonby promised to take me back in his carriage.' Robert's voice held a distinct whine as Diana at tempted to persuade him into the carriage a week later. Doctor Allen had agreed that Robert could return and Simon had decreed that it was vital the boy continue his education. The constant banging of doors and heavy foot steps had made Simon's head pound.

‘Your father has decided that you are returning to school today. I don't think we can bother Lord Coltonby again.' Diana kept her voice steady. She refused to think about the fight she and Brett had had.

She wished a thousand times that she could unsay those words, but they were there. She hadn't wanted him to go. She had wanted him to take her in his arms and whisper that he cared about her. And that it did not matter how it had begun, only that he cared for her now. She wanted to have a second chance, but Brett had never sent word and she had her pride.

Sleep had been far from her mind this last week. Simon had even commented on her listlessness. His burns were
healing, but his temper was becoming shorter by the day. Nothing anyone did was right.

She had jumped at the chance to return Robert to school and gain some measure of freedom. With Robert gone, perhaps Simon would not complain as much about the disturbances and her life could begin to return to normal. The morning sun shone crisp and clear, a change from the incessant drizzle of the last five days. Diana took it as a sign to get on with the business of living.

Today was all about picking up the pieces of her life. It was better this way—ending before they had really begun. Brett would thank her in time. She knew that she now had a little compartment in her head marked
Brett Farnham
and
what might have been.
Six days ago, she had discovered that there would be no consequences to their joyous afternoon picnic. She knew she should be going down on her knees and thanking God that nothing worse had come of it, but she discovered that all she wanted to do was to forget and for get ting seemed beyond her.

‘Please, get into the carriage and stop chattering about Lord Coltonby and his horses.'

‘But why? He is an agreeable man. He liked me. I could tell.' Robert's bottom lip stuck out and he suddenly bore an uncanny resemblance to Simon when he had refused to take his medicine earlier that morning.

‘You were able to ride on his horse. It will have to suffice.' She knew her voice was far too sharp, but she silently begged him to drop the subject.

‘No one will believe me,' Robert muttered. ‘And it is all your fault. You could have sent him a note. He said to send him word and he'd come.'

A note? She had the remnants of her pride. He had to apologise first. She looked up at the ceiling of the carriage
and composed herself. ‘Is that important? You know the truth.'

‘Yes.' Robert climbed into the carriage and sat opposite her with a mutinous face and crossed arms. ‘He promised, and you have neglected to tell him that we are leaving today. He would have let me sit next to him. He told me so. You made him break his promise.'

‘Robert, you must refrain for asking for things.' Diana patted the seat next to her. ‘Come, sit beside me and we will be on our way. I am sure the other boys will be anxious to speak to you about your adventures. And even if they are not, school is about more than adventures.'

Just then a yellow carriage pulled into the stable yard, blocking their exit. Brett jumped down from the coachman's position. Diana's heart leapt. Here. After all, as he had said. She wanted to rush out and apologise. She wanted him to scoop her into his arms and whisper words of remorse, of love. She made a face. She might as well ask for the moon. She remained in the carriage, her fingers gripping her reticule.

‘I see I have arrived in time.' Brett opened the door to their carriage and peered in. His smile grew as he saw the occupants. ‘It is well that word was sent.'

‘No word was sent.'

He merely raised an eyebrow. ‘This carriage looks to be a bit cramped. Mine will be better suited for our purposes.'

Robert immediately rushed from his seat and pushed past Brett. ‘Your carriage, truly?'

‘After you, my lady,' he said with an exaggerated bow. ‘Your nephew has agreed with me.'

‘We are not going with you.' She crossed her arms, but was absurdly pleased she had worn her deep crimson pelisse, the one with two shoulder capes and fashionable
trim. ‘Robert, we need to leave. I must return you to school today. I have promised your father.'

Robert paid no attention to her, but continued to regard Brett's carriage with awe. He started towards where the groom held the horses.

‘It appears your nephew has other ideas.'

‘My nephew should learn what is good for him.'

A faint smile played on Brett's lips. ‘He reminds me of his aunt—strong willed.'

‘You mean pig-headed.'

‘You were the one to say the word.' His face sobered. ‘I have missed you Diana, more than I dreamt possible.'

‘The other day…' Diana paused and wondered how she could explain without betraying her feelings.

‘You were upset over your brother. We will speak no more of it.' His eyes hardened. ‘I am not proud of what I did, but if I hadn't, we would not have become friends. Thank you for having Robert send the note.'

‘I…I never did.'

‘Friends?' he asked. ‘Can we start again? Properly this time? You and I?'

‘Neighbours,' she answered and held out her hand.

His eyes lowered to her lips. ‘I believe I will wait for your friend ship.'

‘You may have to wait a long time.'

‘Or very little.' He leant forward and brushed her cheek. ‘I have missed you, Diana.'

‘Is this your carriage? I mean the one you use for the Four in Hand?' Robert asked in awe, breaking into the conversation. Diana slumped back against the seat back; her lips ached as if he had touched them. ‘They are always yellow, or so Henry says. Henry Sowerby is going to be a whip when he grows up.'

‘Henry Sowerby is the one who was responsible for the
stink bomb, apparently,' Diana replied at Brett's questioning look. ‘I can't tell if Henry is a person to be admired or despised.'

‘Probably both in equal measure.' Brett gave a warm laugh and Diana felt her insides turn over.

‘You don't have to take Robert. It is a long journey. Simon has agreed that I should use his carriage. It has all been arranged, even down to the coaching inn I should use if I become over-tired on the return journey.' Diana kept her voice firm. She had no idea why Brett was here or who had told him to come. Possibly Rose. But she refused to play his game.

‘I gave my promise, Diana. I intend to keep it. It is his choice.' Brett's face became inscrutable. ‘You may accompany us if you feel it necessary. I would welcome it.'

Diana stared at Brett. Why was he doing this? What was he asking?

‘Aunt Diana?' Robert tugged at her skirt.

‘Robert,' Diana said with firmness, ‘Lord Coltonby has kindly offered to take us to Newcastle, but your father has lent us the carriage. I know what your father would want us to do.'

‘I would like to go in Lord Coltonby's carriage, if you please, Aunt. Papa will be pleased as then he can use the carriage to go out to the colliery. He won't care how I go. He wants me gone.'

‘Robert Clare! How dare you say such a thing about your dear papa.'

‘But I heard him saying the very thing this morning, before break fast.'

‘His head pains him. He has lost sight in one eye.'

‘But it is what he wants.'

‘Good lad,' Brett murmured. ‘And you will be joining us as well, won't you, Diana?'

Diana drew a deep breath. What exactly was Brett playing at? Go with him? Share a carriage with him there and back? Slowly she shook her head. ‘I have promised my brother that I will see Robert safely returned to school. It will have to be in this carriage.'

‘There is room in my carriage for you.'

‘Please, Aunt.' Robert hung on her arm. ‘You did promise I could ride behind them. And it is a coach and four.'

‘When, if not now?' Brett's eyes twinkled. ‘You know you want to. I will drive and you may ride in the carriage.'

‘But—' Diana tried to think of all the reasons why this was a bad idea, except she had missed his company. Going in the carriage while he drove would be no different from riding in the carriage when John drove.

‘I will return you by night fall, I promise. The horses are high steppers. They will easily make it to Newcastle and back. There will be no need for a coaching inn.'

‘Oh, Aunt, please, please. You must come with me. It is the only way.'

‘Please.' Brett's voice was no more than a breath.

Diana wondered for an instant if she had heard correctly. Was he begging her?

‘It is impossible to fight you both. Robert, please inform your father that Lord Coltonby is here and we shall see what he says. I know he will agree with me.'

Robert ran off before she could stop him and they were left alone in the stable yard. Diana pre tended interest in the clasp of her reticule as Brett silently watched her.

‘What are you looking at?' she asked, feeling the colour on her cheeks begin to rise.

‘I was merely wondering if the sensible Miss Clare was coming or if we were going to be treated to Diana.'

‘I am always the same person. Miss Clare will suffice.'

‘I much prefer Diana.' He lengthened the last word, rolled it in his mouth, giving it sensuous possibilities that she had never dreamt of.

Diana turned her head. Despite what he had done to her, it would be very easy to fall in love with this man. A fatal mistake. The last thing he wanted or desired was love. ‘You spout pretty fables.'

‘You have not taken to wearing a cap again. I wonder why that is.'

‘Robert will be back soon.' Diana kept her voice steady. She refused to let him provoke her.

‘He is a pleasant child—a credit to the woman who raised him.'

‘I look on him as my own.'

‘But he is your brother's.'

‘Yes, he is. Sometimes, I wonder if my brother sees it. His wife, Jayne, was wild. It was not a happy marriage.'

‘Does your brother's ill-considered marriage mean you are condemned to repeat the same mistakes?'

‘I make my own mistakes.' Diana regarded the tassles on her reticule. ‘There are some to whom marriage is an aspiration, but not to me. I have seen how easily a woman can be trapped.'

‘Surely that depends on the spouse, rather than on the institution itself.'

‘I could never marry solely for duty.'

‘It is a good way to be.' His lips became a thin white line. ‘Sometimes one does not have a choice.'

‘One always has choices. It is the consequences that give trouble.'

‘This is true. Are you suffering from any con sequences?'

‘None that I know of.'

‘It is good to hear.'

An ice-cold fist closed around Diana's heart. Robert would be back in a few moments with Simon and everything would be over. Only she was not sure she wanted it to be.

‘If we are indeed going in your carriage, things will have to be moved.' Diana turned her attention to making sure the basket of food and other essentials for Robert were transferred over into Brett's carriage. ‘The sooner everything is properly stowed, the sooner we can leave.'

‘I am yours to command.'

‘Coltonby.' Simon's voice rang out across the yard. ‘My son says that you intend on returning him to school.'

‘I made a promise.' Brett glared at Simon. Diana offered up a small prayer that they would not come to blows.

‘So I understand.' Simon looked away and his shoulders hunched. ‘You sent me a banker's draft.'

‘It is for the land as we agreed.'

Diana looked between her brother and Brett. They had been in communication? Her brother had given Brett the land? A niggling suspicion rose within her. The mysterious note sender was standing in front of her, holding the banker's draft aloft like it was some trophy.

‘It is twice what I originally asked for.' Simon held up the piece of paper, and tore it into shreds. ‘You saved my life, Coltonby and my life is worth far more than a parcel of land.'

‘Any man would have done what I did.'

‘You hold yourself in too little esteem, Coltonby.'

Diana cleared her throat. ‘I will go with Robert and make sure he is settled.'

‘You will need a chaperon, Diana,' her brother said, his face becoming stern.

‘I can take Rose.'

‘Rose is needed here. She makes excellent tisanes. If you are to be gone, who will look after me if my head should pain again?'

‘I will return Miss Clare before night fall. My horses can easily make the journey there and back.'

The men regarded each other and then Simon nodded. ‘You bring her back—safely.'

‘That is my intention,' Brett replied. ‘I gave you my word at the ball, as a fellow Cantabrigian. I see no reason to break it.'

‘I will hold you to it then. Diana, you see that Robert is properly settled at school.' Simon turned on his heel and went back inside the house.

Diana stared after him in astonishment while Brett looked at her with a smug expression on his face.

‘Are you ready to go, Miss Diana?'

‘It would appear every thing has already been decided.' Diana started to mount the steps up to the carriage.

‘Details can be important.' Brett saluted her with his whip.

‘Can I ride on the top with Lord Coltonby?' Robert asked.

‘You are too young,' Diana said firmly.

Robert raised both of his hands, but Brett shook his head. ‘It would be a brave man who would go against your aunt. You will have plenty of time when you grow up.'