A Reason To Breathe (31 page)

“Wow, that was freaking awesome,” I whispered to my husband who’d been watching the whole thing scowling with rage.

“Yeah,” was all Jack grunted, then he turned back to me and ordered, “Want you home in bed resting after that spill you took.” My guy is so cute. I was heading home anyway, so his bossy didn’t bother me, not when it was wrapped up in love and concern for his future son or daughter.

“Ok, Jack.”

“You need me to drive you home?”

“I think I can handle it,” I smiled. This was going to be a long eight months if he reacted like this with every spill or stubbed toe I had.

Three months later…

       “Mamasita, I’m home,” Bailey shouted as she flew through the front door, Grady following in her wake with a huge grin on his face. Did I mention that during my kidnapping Grady took care of Bailey, and they made a connection, one that was still going strong seven months later? You’ll have to forgive me, pregnancy hormones and all, my memory isn’t what it used to be. They were adorable together. Grady was a badass in the making; give him eight more years and when he’s thirty; I guarantee he’ll be uttering monosyllabic sentences, and he and Jack can sit around grunting; babe, yup and nope, to answer every question ever asked of them.

“Oh, my god, look at your cute little Buddha belly,” Bailey squealed rushing forward. I was three and half months along and looked six. A surprise I was keeping from Bailey till she was home for the summer. Twins. God has a sense of humor.

Jack for the first time since I’d met him was speechless when I’d told him. He just looked at my stomach and smiled. We didn’t want to know the sex of the babies, or if they are identical till they are born, so instead of coming up with one girl name or one boy name, we had to come up with two of each to cover our bases.

Bailey got down on her knees and whispered to my stomach, “Hey, little bro; I can’t wait to meet you.”

“What makes you think it’s a boy?”

“Please, would Jack’s loins produce anything but?”
She had a point there.

“Well now that you’re home you can help us pick out names. I need two of each.”

“Cool, I’ll pull up names on the web, and we can write down what we like, but why two?”

“Because were having twins,” I beamed. Bailey threw her head back and laughed, “Of course you are, Jack got his way with this as well, he wanted two kids, so he got two in one go.” Jack walked up as she was laughing and wrapped his arms around my belly, kissing my neck, and then whispered, “Your daughter has me figured out, when will her mother accept I get my way in all things?”

“Her mother knows it, she’s just fighting it.”

“Losing battle, just saying,” he replied in my ear. Bailey was watching us, smiling, and then she teared up.

“You guys are so cute together, I just love how much you love my mom, Jack,” she cried. Jack moved to her and wrapped her up in a hug, and she buried her face in his chest.

I knew there would be moments that Doug’s death would hit her hard. Luckily she had Jack in her life as well, and he took over the role of “head of the house” and “protector of his women” like a seasoned pro. No one had better fuck with his girls. Ask Grady; he’d had the “I’m watching you” talk from Jack already. For a man who’d never been married, he was a great stepfather and husband, and most of all, a great best friend. We only fought when I didn’t agree with him, which happened more often now that I was pregnant. Jail time has been threatened if I carried anything heavier than a pillow… Men forget before modern medicine; women plowed the field and only stopped long enough to push out the baby, then with baby strapped to their chest, went back to plowing a field. (Ok, a little tall tale, but not by much) But as Jack said, he got his way in most things, and since it meant I could sit with my feet up, who was I to complain?

Five months later…Halloween

        “Mom, please try to get along with Jack’s mother.” Mom had flown in from Florida to help me with the babies. My due date was three weeks away and since I was carrying twins; my doctor had put me on bed rest for the last two months of my pregnancy to keep me from going into pre-term labor. Twins liked to come early, and anything beyond thirty-six weeks was considered a bonus. I was in week thirty-seven, and everyone was staring at me waiting for me to burst. Jack’s mother, living only a county away, drove over every day to help, and since this was her first grandchild, she was anxious and excited and, trying to help out, as well. And my mom being my mom and thinking, “this is my daughter I’ll take care of her,” kept arguing about how Susie, Jack’s mother, was doing things.

“I get along fine with her; she just doesn’t know how we do things, and I didn’t want her to make more work for you, that’s all.” I lifted an eyebrow at her.

“Mom, it’s just towels, she can fold them any way she wants to.”

“They take up too much space the way she folds them,” Mom explained. I looked at her then back at my mother-in-law, who was sitting on the couch looking pissed off at being told, “You’re not folding them right, Susie,” and threw up my hands. I was too exhausted carrying around all this weight; my feet were swollen, my back hurt all day and I was just plain tired of being pregnant, but it was Halloween, and I wanted to sit on the couch and watch the kids come to the door and get their candy. So out I came from my bedroom to find Susie and Mom sniping at each other over how to fold a towel.

And don’t get me started on mealtime… I hide in my room when it’s time to decide what’s for dinner and who’s cooking it. Thank God, there are two babies. Wars have started over who held baby next and for how long.

I sat down grabbed the bowl of candy and started digging through it.
There better be my favorite candy in here, or there’d be THREE angry ladies in this house.
The doorbell rang, and I heard a little girl’s sweet voice saying trick or treat
. Whoops, I had the candy.
I pushed off the couch and waddled my way to the door
.
When I arrived, I found a cute, blonde, blue-eyed girl with an angelic face. I leaned over and said, “You’re so pretty, are you a princess or a fairy?” Angelic child leaned in and said, “I’m a princess, are you dressed up like pregnant woman or are you pregnant?” Smiling, and thinking how a year earlier Jack had asked me to be a pregnant woman for Halloween and here I was, just that, I leaned in and said, “Pregnant with twins, you want to feel? They’re kicking.” Her eye’s got big, and then I took her hand and put it to my stomach where baby A was kicking. Her angelic face grew in awe, and she smiled. “Cool huh?” “Way cool,” she replied. I handed out her candy and waved goodbye as she made her way back to her mother. Turning to the couch, I’d taken two steps when a sharp pain hit my lower stomach and I felt liquid rush down my leg. I shouted out in pain and bent over as my mother and Susie rushed to me.

“My water just broke.”

“Sweet baby Jesus in a manger,” my mother replied.

“I’ll call Jack,” Susie shouted and then headed for her phone. I breathed through the contraction, still bent over, and when it finished; I stood up and walked down the hall with my mother holding onto me.

Once in the bedroom, I headed to the bathroom and stripped out of my maternity clothes and got in the shower. I’d had three more contractions while cleaning up, and the hot water helped relieve the pain. I was just getting out of the shower when Jack burst through the door looking anxious, so I smiled at him.

“Can you believe it? They’re coming on the night you asked me to marry you.”

“Jesus what are you doing in the shower.” Jack growled.

“My water broke, Jack, I wanted to get cleaned up.”

“Fuck,” was his reply, as he grabbed my hand and helped me to the bedroom. Mom was standing ready to dry me off and help with clothes, and Susie was getting my bag together.

“I’m giving you five minutes to get dressed then I’m carrying you outside and to the truck.”

“Whatever,” I mutter feeling more pressure than before. As I got my bra and panties on, another contraction hit me, and I reached for Jack. He grabbed my hand and whispered in my ear, “Breathe sweetness, I got you.”

“Jack, we need to go, I feel like I need to push.”

“Is that bad?” he asked as his face paled.

“It’s not bad if you’re in a birthing room with a doctor, at home with no one to help deliver, it’s not good.” I’d no sooner got that out when another contraction hit.

“Oh dear, the contractions are right on top of each other; we need to hurry,” Susie implored.

“Too late,” I snapped and sat down on the bed.

“I’ll carry you, let’s go. Get her bag Mom we’re leaving now.”

“Oh god, too late, Jack, I have to push, Mom call 911.”

“I’ll get you there, Baby, just hold on.” Jack bossed.

“Jack, honey, you’re not getting your way on this one, help me lie down.” Jack just stood there staring at me, working this problem out in his head.

“Jack I swear to god I’ll find your gun and shoot you if you don’t move and help me,” I hissed and then another contraction hit, and I screamed, “I hate you, I can’t believe you talked me into doing this again.” Deep breath in, let it out slow, “No, don’t touch me,” deep breath in, let it out, fuck this, panting now. “Now’s…oh fuck, now’s not the time to be touching me if you want to keep your balls intact.”

“Goddammit, Jenn,” Jack growled, then picked me up and laid me on the bed. I’d only got my bra and panties on, so Jack pulled them off and then covered me with a blanket.

“Everything’s always a goddamn drama with you,” he shouted.

“What?” I hissed.

“We met during a murder,
drama
. You get attacked,
drama
. You get kidnapped,
drama
. You get assaulted by the Mayor,
drama
. Can we just bring our babies into this world without drama?” He shouted louder.

“Are you seriously shouting at me while I’m in labor having
your
babies, because they decided to come quickly?”

“Yeah, no, yeah, goddammit, where’s the fucking ambulance?” He roared at the room and no one particular. I started laughing, and he looked at me like I’d lost my mind.

“Jack, baby, you need to breathe.”

“I’ll fuckin’ breathe, when the fuckin’ ambulance is here, taking my wife to the fuckin’ hospital to have my babies where she fuckin’ belongs and not a fuckin’ minute sooner... Fuck me why’s the room spinning?”

“Jack sit down, you’re breathing too fast and making yourself dizzy.” Jack looked at me then looked at the bed and then sat down, and put his head between his legs. I grabbed his hand and squeezed when another contraction hit me. The pressure to bear down was so great; I did, because not doing so went against nature. Panting, and “hee hee who’ing,” I cried out as Jack held my hand saying, “Just hold on, please Jenn, don’t push, the ambulance is coming.”

“Jack you gotta look and see if I’m crowning.” Jack looked at me, then looked at my belly, then looked back at me, and then something shifted. He went from scared husband to Sheriff and trained medical tech. I didn’t know if he’d ever delivered a baby before, but he was gonna find out quickly if he was up for the job.

“Mom, go open the door and wait for the ambulance, Valerie, get me the clips we use on the potato chips and a pair of scissors, towels, baby blanket and the nose sucker in the baby bag.” Then he turned to me and said, “Don’t you fuckin’ push unless I say so, you hear me? If you’re not dilated enough, you’ll rip your cervix.” I nodded at my take-charge husband and felt calmer already. Experienced or not, he seemed to have it under control.

Jack lifted the blanket and looked between my legs, I heard him say, “Shit,” and then,”

Don’t fuckin’ cough, sneeze, or breathe.” Then he bellowed, “I need that fuckin’ stuff right fuckin’ now.”

A contraction hit me, and I screamed, “Jack, I gotta push.” If I wasn’t clear on this already, not pushing was like telling your body not to breathe, it was a reflex, my body pushed, and I kept breathing trying to stop, but it wasn’t working, I screamed out in pain and frustration as Mom ran in the room and handed the stuff to Jack.

Jack lifted the blanket, and I screamed again, “I can’t Jack, I can’t hold off, oh, god.”

“Push, Baby, I got you, I got you, push.”

Mom grabbed my hand and helped me lean forward; she counted to ten while I pushed, then I took a deep breath and pushed till ten again. Jack shouted, “Stop pushing,” and then grabbed the nose sucker, and I heard him suction. I felt like I was splitting in two when he finally got up in the middle of the bed and with both hands grabbed the baby’s head and said, “Give me one long hard push Baby.”

I drew in a breath and pushed right through the pain, then pushed to bring my baby into this world and finally lay eyes on one of them.

Jack grunted, and I could feel him pulling on the head then turn the shoulders, and with a gush, I felt the baby swim out. I waited while Jack did whatever he was doing chanting, “Is it ok, is it ok?” I saw Jack clamp the umbilical cord with the potato chip clips and then heard the scissors snipping.