A Rebel Love (Black Rebel Riders' MC Book 7) (22 page)

Chapter 28

Sunshine

My son—I don’t know if I still have the right to call him mine. I’ve never been his mother. Not in the ways that count. I gave him away. I gave away the only part of me that ever mattered and for what? He’s suffering so much. They have to keep him in a coma due to his extensive burns. He has chemical burns.

When Romeo told me that Paul cut out Patrick’s tongue for not stopping me when I left, I nearly lost it.

How do I live with myself knowing that I brought this on him?

I can’t even look him in his eyes to apologize. If he ever opens them again…he is still in critical condition.

If he lives will he
forgive
me?

I can’t
forgive
me. 

I can’t even
cry
for him.

I don’t
deserve
to.

The only thing holding me together is the fact Paul, my no good husband isn’t dead yet. Romeo let me know last night that the bastard is being kept alive so I can confront him. He’s a gift from Grim, apparently. I don’t know that I can face Paul. He made a fool of me and now look what he’s done to my precious boy.

I
wanted
to give Patrick a
good
life.

I
wanted
him to be
loved
.

I
wanted
him to have
what
I didn’t.

He’s suffered more than any person should. The road he will face will be so fucking hard. But I’ll do anything to make things right. I’ll be by his side, if he’ll allow me to be.

I leave my number with his nurse in case there are any changes, but I plan to come back, every day.

Grim

I’m at Slim’s old fishing cabin by Chelle and Rebel’s house waiting for Romeo and Sunshine. It’s time to end this
cocksucker
. I didn’t handle shit with Sunshine the way a real man should. I let her down as her husband. I haven’t laid eyes on her since I was in prison. I feel like a schoolboy ready to get his fingers wet in virgin pussy for the first time. Not because I want her. I’ve not allowed my mind to go there—to think about her like that. I lost that right.

I have a good woman, Foxie. She’s the one person who has never given up on me and loved me even when I didn’t deserve it. I’ll never disrespect her by cheapening what we share. I never thought I’d live this long and now that I have…I want to grow even older and more gray with her. I want to be those two crazy old coots sitting on the porch swing, sipping moonshine.

Romeo comes flying down the gravel driveway on his chopper with Sunshine riding bitch. Guess Rebel gave him his bike back. I wanted to destroy it but Foxie told me I’d regret it if I did. That woman is usually right, so I try to listen half the time.

Sunshine’s blonde hair blows behind them as the sun catches on the chrome. I have to squint to see them. An odd feeling washes over me. Something about seeing Romeo and Sunshine together just looks…right. They motherfuckin’ fit. It should make me angry but it makes me chuckle. Life is a funny fuckin’ bastard.

They slow to a roll next to the porch. Rebel, Chelle, and their brat pack are at church. They attend services every Sunday. How Lil Bit talked Rebel into going I’ll never know. But I like it, looks good for the club and helps with our local business. And it gets them the hell away from here while we get rid of Paul, Sunshine’s sorry excuse of a husband.

Romeo gets off first. Sunshine’s hesitant. I know this is hard for her. Not because of me, but because of what she’s been through. Rebel filled me in over coffee this morning. Him, Chelle, and the kids have breakfast with Foxie and me before they leave for Church, every week.

Meanwhile in Florida

Karly (Baby)

I should’ve taken the day off. Lucky has been here for most of the day so I am hiding in my office. Elaine says he wants her to testify against Samil. She’s seriously considering. I won’t advise her either way. She has to make the choice. I can’t make it for her.

I know I did what was best for my family and me, despite how much it hurts not being able to go by my birth name, Baby. I hate that Cole will never know my father. I miss that old asshole so much. Some nights I lay on my back patio and gaze at the stars wondering where he is and what he is doing. I sip my wine and imagine what my sister would be doing if she were still here.

Would she have stayed with Rebel even though he was having a baby with Lil Bit? I’m not sure if Sarah could’ve handled that. I think about Rebel too. Is he happy? Does he have other children? Would him and Striker have been able to put everything behind them and be brothers again? Cole probably has cousins he will never know.

My thoughts drift to Romeo as well. How can they not, after all that we shared? I hope he found some sort of happiness for himself and the kids. I hope he has found someone to love who treats him with the affection he showed me. I don’t wish him any ill will.

I love Nash with all that I have in me. I know without a doubt he is the only man for me. I think back on our weekend. We took the kids to SeaWorld in Orlando. They had the best time. Seeing Nash experience, the little moments with our children is all I need other than his love. And
God
does he
love
me.

My thoughts are interrupted by a knock on my door. I hope Sara isn’t acting up. She was in a bit of a grumpy mood this morning. Our weekend wore her out. I opted to bring her in with me even though Nash is off today, I thought he could use some time to himself. He wanted to go riding this morning.

“It’s open,” I call out as I smooth my skirt and straighten my pens.

I look up when the breeze of aftershave blows through my doorway.
Lucky
. My heart jumps into my throat. I keep my eyes down. I know they have a unique color and if he spends more than a minute with me, he may recognize me. I can’t have that.

“Detective? What can I do for you? I am just about to head out for a meeting,” I lie.

He closes my door before taking a seat. “I’m sure you can spare a few minutes for an old friend,
Baby
.”

Fuck
!

“Don’t bother denying it’s you. I couldn’t shake this feeling I got when we met and I checked you out.”

“Fine, you got me!” I slam my palms down on my desk.
Ouch
! That hurt. “What do you want?”

“Just wanted to see how you are doing. This is what I wanted to give you. The
life
I thought
we
’d
share
.” He takes my family photo from my desk and puts it back. He looks away briefly before meeting my eyes again. “Why couldn’t it have been me?”

“Lucky, I was a
kid
back then. And as much as I liked you, we would’ve never amounted to much.” I shrug blowing his words off. They mean nothing to me. They didn’t when I was a stupid girl either. If they had I would’ve done anything to be with him. We didn’t share
a rebel love
. A rebel love is undying, can’t eat, can’t sleep love. You’d
lie
,
cheat
,
steal
or even
kill
for that love. I wasn’t willing to do all of those things for him but for Nash—my husband, I’d set the world on fire and watch it burn.

He considers my words. “That’s honest.” He frowns.

“It’s the truth. I’m happy and I plan on staying happy with my
husband
. I have a
family
Lucky. I don’t
need
you
screwing
my
life
up
twice
. Once was plenty.” I look away. I don’t want to see the anguish in his eyes. Neither of us are who we used to be, if Lucky even really knows who he is. 

I get up to show him out. “I don’t know what you expected but I won’t help you with Elaine. You need to leave.” I wave my hand towards the door. “I don’t want to have this conversation again.”  I glance at my watch to avoid his eyes. Nash will have picked Cole up by now from his sleepover at his friend Timmy’s.

Lucky stops in front of me and tilts my chin up. “If things had been different, I would’ve been good to you.” He’s gazing into my eyes and I admit I have a flash of how things could’ve been had I opted to run with him.

A
new
identity.

A
new
life.

I got those things though and with the right man—Nash.

Lucky’s thumb brushes over my lips. “You’ve been my one regret.” His mouth is a mere inch from mine. I turn my head just as Cole comes barreling into us.

“Get away from my mom, you weirdo!” My boy kicks him right in the nuts too.

Lucky is cursing and down on his knees in pain. Nash rounds the corner of the hallway with Sara in his arms and her bag on his shoulder.

Nash

An unwelcome face is down on his knees at my wife’s feet. I jerk Cole back by the collar of his shirt as he starts swinging haymakers. “Have a seat son.” I show him and Sara into their mom’s office and close them inside.

Karly is being too
damn
quiet. I trust her but I don’t like what I’m seeing. Is he the reason she’s been coming home upset? “Explain,” I demand from my
wife
.

Lucky starts to get up and I shove him back down by his shoulder. “You stay! I’m not asking.” 

My eyes are still on my wife, demanding an explanation.

“I was going to tell you. I was just hoping he’d be gone before I had to. He’s here for a case. Nothing more.”

“Looks like a lot more to me,” I state. I don’t want to cause a scene at Karly’s work. I don’t want to ruin this for her, but I won’t tolerate this shit.

My eyes narrow on the rat bastard who helped set my family up. “Stay away from
my
wife
. I won’t
warn
you a second time.”

He stands up and gets in my face. “Nice to see you too,
Striker
.”

I don’t bother with words. My fist to his jaw is all the response he needs. Karly gasps and grabs my wrist, begging me not to take it any further.

“Stop it Nash, he isn’t worth any of our time or our effort.”

Lucky rubs his jaw and says, “You still hit like a
bitch
.”

“Fuck you!” I shove him as I remember handing his ass to him years ago. Got into a scrap at a gas station when he mouthed off about Aspen. Was talking shit about how her ass would look a lot better on the back of his bike.

Cole opens the door to the office and says, “if you don’t kick his ass dad, I will!” His little fists are curled up and I can’t help but be proud. That’s my boy! I hug Cole into my side and Karly gathers Sara into her arms.

“Let’s go to dinner,” I announce, and with that, I take my family home.

Karly and me will have words but not right now and not here. Lucky doesn’t get to be a part of that and he never will.

Chapter 29

Drag Creek

Romeo

With a chin nod to Grim, I help Sunshine from my bike.
Christ
. She’s still shaky after seeing Patrick. I’m not sure taking her in to see Paul is the best idea right now, but I agree with Grim that we need to get this shit over and done with before people start asking questions.

“You don’t have to do this. Let me handle it.”

“No,” she croaks trying to find her voice. “I want to see him. I need this.”

Grim goes in ahead of us. Paul’s skin looks like burnt pizza. He’s hanging onto life by a thread. Ropes have his arms bound to the rafters that support the frame of the cabin. Blood and pus is seeping through his clothes and onto the tarp below him. Sunshine has to run back out the door to vomit from the smell. I go out onto the porch and hold her hair as she leans over the rail.

“Let me take you home,” I tell her softly.

“Home!” She screeches wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “You made me come here. YOU. LIED. TO. ME! I didn’t ask for this.” She shakes her head pacing back and forth across the length of the wooden plank porch.

I try to touch her back to offer my support. She’s vibrating she’s so upset.  “Don’t touch me right now. I don’t know what I need!” She snaps.

Grim steps out onto the porch. “You need to hit something. Hit me!”

“Are you crazy? I’m not going to
hit
you!”

“I said hit me goddamn it. Don’t think about it. Just do it! Do onto me what you want to do onto him,” he demands heated, angry and in her face.

Sunshine’s hand whips back and smacks his face, hard, splitting his lip. She seems appalled by herself and bursts into tears. Grim spits a speck of blood out and wraps her in his arms. 

If I was any other man, I might be jealous, but I know there is
nothing
left between them in a
sexual
manner. This is two old friends being there for one another.

“I’m sorry,” he tells her gruffly.

She’s nodding and wiping her face on his shirt.

Grim looks to me and says, “I’m not good with the wet shit,” and transfers her into my hold. “Take her home. I got this.”

I nod but Sunshine stiffens. “No, I
owe
it to
myself
and my
son
to end this.” She straightens her back, walks back into the cabin shutting the door, leaving me alone with Grim.

I start to go in after her but Grim stops me with a gentle but firm hand to the chest. “Let her do this. She’ll need ye when it’s over.”

I don’t like it but I know he’s right, and as much as I
hate
him at times, I’m t
hankful
he’s here today.

I’m not sure what words are said between Sunshine and Paul, if he says any at all. I’m not sure if she’ll ever tell me and I have to be okay with it.

An hour later, Grim and me are taking Paul out in a dingy boat to the deepest part of the lake. With an anchor hooked through each end of the tarp and four cement blocks weighing him down, we roll his body over the edge, waiting for him to sink as Sunshine watches from the edge of the shore, appearing like and angel of
death
or
mercy
—maybe both.

The high noon sunlight is blinding behind her as her blonde hair wisps in the wind. Grim is watching her too and a peaceful calm washes over us. We share a joint and talk a spell about life.

“I’ve been debating telling you for a while. But you’ve had enough resting on your conscious. This is your one and only reprieve from me. If you ever speak of anything I am about to say to you, I’ll slit your throat and dump ye next to ye friend, down there. Tread and me are fixing to go on a ride, to Florida. He’s got shit to take care of with Liberty’s ex. I have something to take to my daughter and ye got something to give to ye son.”

I stare blankly at the ripples on the water and watch the mosquitoes dance along the surface.

I know he doesn’t mean Jamie. 

A tear slips from my eye.

The son I
never
wanted.

The son I
never
loved is alive.

Grim slaps me on the back and says, “Now don’t go turning into a pussy on me just yet. I’ve spent nearly forty years trying to make ye into a hardass.” He passes me the joint and baits the hook for his reel.

The End