A Rebel's Heart (3 page)

“I’ve always felt a strong connection to you. It wasn’t as strong as the one I had for Walt because he was my bonded mate. I thought back then it was like a connection to a Packmate.” She averted her gaze to his T-shirt, which she smoothed out with her hand.

“And now?” he prompted.

She lifted her lashes to peer up at his face. “I’m confused. I want to be mad at you for lying to me, for making me believe you were dead all this time when you were out there hunting my mate’s killers. I deserve that task.”

He ran his knuckles down her cheek. “I was afraid of facing you, afraid you’d blame me. Hell, I blamed myself.”

“You’re here now. Why? To warn me?”

She narrowed her eyes and that tiny twitch under her right eye indicated her anger had returned, sparking the fire inside her he knew hadn’t died like she thought. “Yes, to warn you and to stop those bastards from taking someone else I love away.”

She stilled and searched his face. “Don’t say that.”

He stepped closer, closing the gap between them. “Say what? That I love you? Sarah, I’ve known from the moment I saw you that you were my mate.”

Her lips trembled slightly. “I don’t believe you. Why did you stay around and watch Walt and I mate?”

He cupped her cheek, caressing her bottom lip with his thumb. He smiled when she didn’t move away. Instead, she closed her eyes for a brief moment, as if allowing herself to enjoy his touch. “Because Walt was like a brother to me. I couldn’t leave him any more than I could you.”

She pulled away then, breaking the connection. “I can’t do this.”

When he stepped forward again, she turned and rushed to her room, slamming the door behind her.

Nice one, asshole
.

He ran a hand through his hair and turned to the kitchen. When he reached the archway that separated it from the living room, his phone rang. Peering at the screen, he groaned.

It was Cale Griffin, Sarah’s eldest son.

He turned toward the front door and stepped outside before answering. “Yeah.”

“Did you get my mother to move yet?”

“Nice to talk to you too, Cale.” Damian laughed at the answering growl from the male on the phone. “No. Your mother is even more stubborn than before.”

“Not possible. She’s strong-willed and refuses to be ordered around.” Cale fell silent for a moment before adding, “Look, I know how you feel about her. I’ve always known. Frankly I thought you loved to torture yourself by hanging around her and Walt all those years. But I get it. I’d stand down and let any one of my brothers find their happiness above mine.”

Damian sighed. “Why are you calling me?”

“Because I just talked to Graham, and he said you were alive and at Mom’s.”

“Did you tell your brother that you already knew that?” Damian teased. Cale had found out a couple of years ago that Damian was alive and working with the shifter rebels to stop Shield. Ever since, the puma fed him information as it came through the Pack Network—an online community that connected the American and some Canadian Packs together. It was an information system they all used to share information and spy on the rogues since Onyx Pack members were known to use the network for their own person reasons.

Cale snorted. “Hell no. Graham is newly mated to two very dominant felines. He has his hands full. Anyway, Graham wanted me to go talk Mom into moving to Ashwood.”

Damian shook his head, knowing where this was going. “And you thought you’d call me.”

“Yep. You know, since you’re there and all. Any luck?”

Damian growled. “No. She’s now locked herself in her room.”

Cale laughed. “You are such a ladies’ man.” Damian growled again, and Cale sobered. “She is safer at Ashwood. Get her there. I don’t care if you have to seduce her to do it.”

Damian was about to tell the male to go to hell when the phone went dead. His first reaction was to call Cale back and tell him to get his ass down here, but then Cale’s words sank in. Seduce Sarah? That could work, and it could be the most difficult thing he’d ever done.

Damian smiled and went back inside. He did love a good challenge.

Sarah stepped out of the shower to a mix of scents drifting into her room. She inhaled the savory, sweet smells, and her stomach growled. After drying off and dressing, she made her way to the kitchen but froze when she entered the living room.

The lights were out, and candles illuminated the room. Two glasses of red wine sat on the coffee table, and a small fire flickered in the fireplace.

She bit her lip and forced her cat to calm. Damian wasn’t hers. This whole setup was to smooth over her anger, and he most likely wanted to try to talk her into moving. She’d thought about it many times after Blaine and Graham offered, which was every time they called to check on her. Even Nevan and his mate, Dani, mentioned in not-so-subtle ways how wonderful Ashwood Falls was.

She sighed. Really, what was she holding on to? A ghost? Keeping the house wasn’t going to bring Walt back. Besides, she’d started the aging process. The least she could do was spend her last years with her family.

Yet living in a den meant her new packmates wouldn’t allow her to give up on life. No, they’d love her until she began to live again. The problem was she wasn’t sure she wanted to.

Damian entered the living room, carrying a couple of plates. She met his gaze, and her knees almost gave out when he smiled at her. His lips upturned at the corner, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. Still, it was just as seductive.

Yep, the male was definitely up to something.

He set the plates on the coffee table, side by side.
Nice and cozy
, she thought dryly. “Trying to wine and dine me?”

This time his smile did reach his eyes as he held out a hand to her, palm up. “Whatever works.”

She snorted and ignored his hand as she sat on the floor closest to the fireplace. “You know it’s summer and a little warm for a fire.”

His puma flashed in his eyes as he eased down beside her with all the grace of the cat he was and leaned into her. “It’s for visual effects. Just go with it and enjoy yourself.”

She pressed her lips together to hide the smile from him, but the way he chuckled as he sat back told her he knew she was already enjoying the play. Probably a little more than she should. It’d been too long since she’d played with another cat. Five long years since she’d desired another male like she did Damian in this setting.

Sarah wasn’t sure what had changed. Was it his admission that he believed she was his mate? Or had all the time she’d spent alone finally driven her insane?

Whichever it was, she’d play along. For now.

Damian was the type of male females found hard to deny. He was funny, compassionate, a loyal friend, and able to charm the socks off a pissed-off tiger. If her family wanted to persuade her to move, then Damian was the puma to do it.

She looked at him, studying him for a long moment before asking, “Which one of my sons called you?”

He peered at her with a blank stare then raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Whatever,” she teased and turned to her food. A perfectly cooked steak covered in a mushroom sauce sat beautifully in front of her. She inhaled the savory aromas and nearly moaned. It’d been way too long since someone had cooked for her.

She fell silent, not sure what to say to him. There were so many questions and so much she wanted to lash out him for. Yet, her heart couldn’t stay angry with him. She knew it wasn’t his fault, any more than it was hers, but the piece of her that still clung to memories of Walt wanted someone to pay for taking her mate away.

“Sarah?”

She raised her gaze to his. “I’m fine. Just thinking.”

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, making her close her eyes at the too-brief brush of his fingertips. “Why are you willing yourself to age?”

She opened her mouth to reply then closed it. She was over two hundred and fifty years old. Sure, that wasn’t considered old among shifters, but neither was it young. Even though shifters lived to be thousands of years old, there were the rare cases in which they could will themselves to age.

Sarah had started the process about a year after Walt died. She stopped shifting into her puma form and wasn’t surprised when the cat didn’t resist. In fact, they were both tired and wanted to go into the afterworld to be with their mate.

“We’re tired,” she finally said.

Damian scooted closer to her, his body heat wrapping around her. He placed a finger under her chin and lifted so her eyes met his. “I miss him too. The only thing that has kept me going was the fact that I’m fighting back. Bringing down the hate groups so the shifter races can live in secret and peace once again.”

She looked away, breaking his hold on her. “I’m not sure there is any more fight left in me.”

He growled, snapping her attention back to him. “That is a load of crap. You killed a man to protect yourself and me.”

There was that. “It was instinct.”

“Exactly.”

She was so done with this…whatever it was. She went to stand, but he grabbed her arm, halting her. “Sarah, I’m sorry. I meant it when I said you’re my mate. Can you try to heal with me? Trust me?”

Her heart shuddered, and the tension left her body. “I do trust you and care for you a great deal, but I’m not sure if I have it in me to mate again. I’ve done it twice. If you haven’t noticed, my mates seem to die on me.”

She meant the words to sound light, but it was an ugly truth that she’d lived with for far too long.

Damian pulled her into his lap with inhuman speed and buried his nose into her neck. She let out a small sigh and melted into him, taking in his scent. His all-too-familiar scent. It felt too good to be close to someone, touching them. It was something she’d get within a Pack if she’d stop being pigheaded. But this was Damian. He’d always been a part of her life…and Walt’s.

He could help her heal. A thin string of hope formed, making her want to try to move on.

Then suddenly she felt it—the buried need to be desired and claimed by this male as his. Her arms warmed where they touched his, and the feel of his hard body under her woke both her cat and the need she’d denied herself for far too long. Her puma nudged her from under her skin where it was closest to Damian. The cat wanted him, and so did the woman.

Damian lifted his head, his hazel eyes transforming into the green of his cat’s. “I’ll take my chances. I want you, Sarah. I’ve always wanted you.”

She swallowed and couldn’t believe that she was going to cave. But the truth was she needed this. She needed to move on and try to live. Only she wasn’t sure what the future held for her and Damian.

“Fate sure has an interesting game plan,” she said softly and tried to smile. “I love Walt and can’t forget him.”

Damian cupped her face in his hands. “Neither can I. He was my best friend, my brother in all things that mattered. We will love him together. He wouldn’t want you to give up.”

She shook her head. “I’m not giving up…” Her sentence faded when she realized that was what she’d been doing. She was giving up on life.

Before she could say another word, Damian pressed his lips to hers. Her senses fired to life, as if she’d been shocked with electricity. Desire pooled in her abdomen and lower until she ached for his touch.

When Damian’s tongue swiped across the seam of her lips, she opened, allowing him entry and meeting his tongue with her own. He tightened his hold on her and deepened the kiss.

She twisted so she could wrap her legs around him, drawing their bodies even closer together. Yet it wasn’t close enough. Need built inside her, driving her mad. She broke the kiss and said between breaths, “Clothes. Off. I need…skin…”

Damian didn’t say a word, just pulled her shirt over her head and unfastened her bra. His own desire darkened his eyes to a blue-green as he held her gaze and cupped her breast. She closed her eyes and moaned as he rolled her tight nipple between his fingers. Pinpricks covered her skin, and her pussy throbbed, begging for his touch, his caress.

She felt Damian wrap an arm around her back and move so he could lay her on the floor. She gasped as the cool wood touched her bare back but didn’t take her eyes off the gorgeous male hovering over her.

He undid her jeans and slid them, along with her panties, over her hips and down her legs. Discarding the last of her clothes, Damian stared down at her. She had the childish urge to cover herself, but that was a human reaction. Shifters didn’t have modesty issues. They grew up with nudity being a natural part of their lives since shifting into their animals' forms dissolved their clothes anyway.

A low growl drew her attention back to Damian. He smiled, and damn if he wasn’t the sexiest thing she’d ever seen.

“You are so beautiful.” His voice came out husky.

He dipped his head and pressed a kiss to one nipple then the other before he nipped his way down her stomach to the inside of her right thigh. He bit down gently, drawing a half-growl, half-moan from her.

When he slid a finger inside her, she nearly came right then. He chuckled and held her gaze as he lowered his head and licked her from her entrance to her clit in a slow, lazy stroke. Pleasure overtook her as Damian closed his mouth over her, sucking her lips as he slid another finger inside and pumped them in and out until she was drunk with pleasure.

She fisted her hands in his hair and moved against him with each lick and thrust until a wave of an orgasm crashed over her.

Damian withdrew his finger and trailed his tongue up her flat stomach. She shuddered and let out a soft moan as he made his way up her body. She was beautiful and perfect to him. His cat agreed. The puma rubbed up against him from within, trying to get closer to Sarah.

The damn animal wanted out so his fur could touch Sarah.

When Damian reached her breast, he gave one nipple a slow lick before rising above her to peer into her heavy-lidded eyes. He smiled, and she reached up to cup his face. Her brow dipped, making his heartache. Lowering his head, he whispered. “It’s just me and you, right?”