A Second Chance at Forever (17 page)

“He shouldn’t spend his birthday alone, Brock.” She glanced sideways at her brother. “We have to do
something
for him.”

Brock heaved a sigh and folded his arms across his chest. “I tried. I invited him out. Mel told him exactly the same thing. I’m pretty sure even his mother prodded him. But he refused us the same way he did you. The man just wants to be alone. Short of kidnapping him, I’m not sure there’s much we
can
do.”

As her brother pushed from the doorway and loped across the backyard toward Alex and the kids, the beginnings of an idea stirred in Angela’s mind. She bit her lower lip. It was a simple idea, but could she pull it off? Should she?

****

Several hours later, Angela sat in her room, staring at the glowing face of her computer screen. The house around her was silent, her mother having gone to bed an hour before. Only the light from the desk lamp filled the small space. She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and bit down, her stomach twisting with confliction. Her right hand hovered over the mouse, her index finger twitching over the button. All she had to do was hit confirm to seal the deal.

Was it the right thing to do?

She jerked her hand back, shoved away from the computer, and surged to her feet as the implications of what she was about to do hit her full force. Nerves twisted in her stomach and wound through her body as she paced to the window that looked out over the front porch. The night beyond was black, a stark contrast to the white gauzy curtains covering the window.

She hadn’t meant for it to go this far. She’d only meant to check things out, to ponder the possibility. Then she’d found herself checking her work schedule and looking up flights to New York. She had vacation time due.

She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Alex all day, couldn’t stop seeing the haunted shadow in his eyes as he stood in Mel’s kitchen. The dejection he’d tried to hide behind an impassive façade. It had hovered over him all night. Every single time she remembered it, the familiar ache settled in her chest.

Clamping her teeth down on her bottom lip, she moved back to her computer and sank into the chair, stared at the screen. Was she ready to do this? Ready to take that first, uncertain step into the future?

That’s what this was about. By going to him, she was moving beyond admitting she wanted to be with him to actually taking action to make it happen. To spend time with him beyond their connection to their children.

She’d be jumping off the cliff into an unknown future with a man who’d given her everything but his heart.

That cynical side of her told her she was a fool. Told her she’d be settling for less than what she wanted, less than what she deserved. Shouldn’t she want to hold out for all of him?

She closed her eyes, listening to the silence of the house echoing around her. An image popped into her mind. She saw him as he’d been, standing in the parking lot of her obstetrician’s office, heard again his heart felt plea.

This is all I’ve got. Just me. Kind of broken, a little uncertain and probably doing everything wrong, but what I’ve got…is all yours.

Butterflies twisted and tumbled in her stomach. Tears burned behind her eyelids. She opened her eyes, blinking away the wetness, and sighed. Okay, so she had to admit it. Those words and that reaction was a large part of why she’d sat down at this computer when she’d gotten home from the birthday party, why she was so tempted to go to him.

Why she was so tempted to follow her heart, even if she had no idea where it would lead her—because not one man in her life had ever done that for her before, had ever laid himself out there for her that way.

Not even David when he’d asked her to marry him.

Mind made up, she tapped her finger on the mouse button before she lost the nerve. Then she paced away. God she hoped she was doing the right thing.

She turned back in time to watch the screen change. A moment later, the confirmation popped into her email inbox. The deal was done. If Alex wouldn’t come to them, she’d go to him.

Chapter Twelve

“Hello, Angela.”

Seated on the bed in her hotel room, Angela’s heart stuttered at the sound of Alex’s voice over the phone line. She squeezed her eyes shut. From the moment the plane had landed in New York’s La Guardia airport an hour and a half ago, her stomach had twisted into a nervous knot. Had she made the right choice? She was not this impulsive person. She simply did not do these sorts of things.

Yet here she was. The sound of Alex’s voice now only sent her heart tripping off on another marathon run. It wasn’t the way he always knew it was her before she’d even said hello that made her ache. No, it was the way he said her name, low and husky, with a slight catch that made it sound like he was actually glad to hear from her.

Which made her wonder if he was.

Which then made her wonder if he’d still be happy when she showed up on his doorstep this evening.

She opened her eyes and focused on the reason she was here in the first place. This wasn’t about her. Drawing up the plan she’d made when she’d left the house that morning, she set her mind and plunged onward.

“Hello, Alex,” she said, summoning her most cheerful,
how’s the weather
voice. “Can I ask you an unusual question?”

She glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand beside her; it was five minutes past six p.m. She’d taken a chance coming out. Wanting to catch Alex by surprise, she’d planned her trip according to his work schedule. The idea being that she’d arrive after he came home for the night so she’d know he’d be there when she showed up.

In reality, the whole trip had been a crap shoot. Brock had warned her Alex could be a workaholic and would often work late into the evenings. She was lucky he was even there this time of night.

“You can ask me anything, sweetheart.” The term of endearment had the butterflies in her stomach in an uproar again.

“Where are you?” She crossed her mental fingers, prayed he couldn’t hear the way her voice trembled.

“At home, why?” he asked, his tone suspicious.

She swallowed past the lump in her throat. Well, she’d come all the way out here….

“Good. Stay there.” Then she hung up on him.

Ten minutes later, the cab driver dropped her off in front of a gray, concrete building, the tip top rising into the clouds. She stood on the sidewalk for a moment, staring up the length of the enormous building, her stomach tripping over itself. Then she pulled the door open and stepped inside.

Her nerves got the better of her as she rode the elevator up to the second floor. A sense of jittery edginess with a mixture of arousal and excitement all coursed through her. Left her fidgeting like a small child as she punched the bell and waited the aching seconds for him to answer the door.

A shadow crossed the peephole, then the deadbolts slid open. Once again she wondered—what on earth was she doing? The man was taking her to places she’d never been before. Six months ago, she would have sworn she’d never do something as crazy as this, but here she stood, on his doorstep with her heart in her hands.

She clasped her shaking hands together. What if he didn’t want to see her?

The door opened a moment later to reveal Alex. Surprise lit in his eyes, as if he couldn’t believe she stood in front of him. “Angela.”

She couldn’t stop herself from soaking in the sight of him. He wore black slacks and a white button down shirt, open two buttons at the top. A dark blue tie hung around his neck. He obviously hadn’t been home for long. The sight, the hint at his life, settled deep in her core. Seeing him dressed this way made her long to know more about him, to see more of his world.

It made her yearn, in a way she found suddenly terrifying, to be a small part of it.

He drew his brows together and shook his head. “What on earth are you doing here?”

She mustered Candy’s confidence, flashing him a—albeit half terrified—grin as she held her arms out from her sides. “Surprise!”

An answering smile spread across his mouth, amusement lighting his eyes. A breath later, his features went carefully impassive. He slid his hands into his pockets, leaned a shoulder against the doorframe. “Brock warned me you had something up your sleeve. Didn’t figure you’d actually show up on my doorstep, though.”

She dropped her arms to her sides and rolled her eyes, her shoulders slumping. She’d have to remember to kill her brother. “I should have known Brock couldn’t keep his mouth shut. That’s twice now he’s ruined it for me.”

His gaze shifted then, flicked over her, taking in her the very same way she’d taken in him. Her pulse kicked up a notch. Every inch of her tingled with awareness.

“Why are you here, Ang?” he asked, meeting her gaze again.

She took a tentative step toward him and laid a hand against his chest. “Nobody should spend their birthday alone, Alex.”

Everything else between them aside, she couldn’t let him spend the day alone. She just couldn’t.

He stiffened at that and straightened, shook his head and dropped his gaze to the floor. After a moment, he lifted his head again. The look on his face took her breath away. Pain shadowed his eyes, his brows drawing together in cross between torment and confusion. Like maybe he’d given up any pretense of a happy façade and was, for the moment, simply laying himself bare before her.

“I’m not good company, Ang.”

She shook her head. “I don’t expect you to be. I just expect you to be you. Brock says you don’t cook. Let me make you dinner.” She straightened her shoulders and flashed him a flirtatious smile worthy of Candy, hoping somehow it would lighten his load. “Then you can show me around the city.”

She was being overly flirty, not like herself at all, but it had the desired effect. The unbearable emotion in his eyes lightened, a tiny spark illuminating the depths.

“It’s my birthday,” he said, cocking an amused brow, “but
I
get to show
you
around?”

Triumph surged through her. She winked at him. “You got it, babe.”

His grin finally broke across his face. He looked down at the floor and shook his head. “You are something else,” he murmured. Just as suddenly as he’d look down, he looked up again and stepped back, pulling the door open wider. “Come on in.”

****

Mixed emotions wound Alex’s stomach in a knot as Angela slid past him through the doorway. She wandered down the long hallway into the living room, her head moving from side to side as she took in her surroundings. Alex followed slowly behind, soaking in the sight of her. She looked…incredible. She wore a simple pair of khaki shorts, and a gauzy lavender tank top that covered the gentle swell of her stomach. The material was soft, flowing, and feminine. She’d pulled her hair off her neck into a ponytail, no doubt due to the high humidity the East coast was famous for. He longed to pull out the band just to watch the silky strands flow around her shoulders.

If he’d wanted to see anybody this weekend, it was her. The old familiar pain had begun to grip his chest two weeks ago. He’d managed hold it at bay for months now by burying himself in his cases and refusing to face it, but the anniversaries were too much.

The memories were doing his head in. They were everywhere, in every part of the city around him, every part of the house, echoing off the walls and through his mind, like a ghost demanding to be acknowledged by the waking world. Reminders of the day he’d had to give up hope and face the reality that life as he’d known it had ceased to exist. Here in Manhattan he couldn’t escape them.

Yet here was Angela, like the sunshine had walked through his front door, so bright and warm in an otherwise dismal reality. Did she know how much he’d longed to see her? How much he wanted to bury his face in her throat and forget everything else but the sweet smell of her skin?

He followed her into the living room, at a loss as to what to say, somehow resisting the overwhelming urge to simply wrap his arms around her. She stopped in the center of the room, in front of the oak coffee table, and turned to face him, a gentle but nervous smile curving her mouth. For a moment only the dull hum of the television news filled the silence.

“I wasn’t sure you’d actually let me in,” she said finally.

She had no idea. “Like I could actually say no to you.”

A soft flush spread into her face, her cheeks turning a very becoming shade of pink that had his mind rushing straight into the bedroom, as if to prove how weak he was when it came to her. If she was going to stay, though, he had to be honest with her.

He took another few steps forward, close enough that the subtle scent of her perfume floated around him. “I meant what I said, though, Ang. My head’s not in a good place right now.” He shook his head. “Every other day, I can go on like it’s nothing. I can forget and move on. But this one’s just…hard. I don’t know how to deal with it.”

Her brow furrowed in concern as she took a step toward him. “Nobody said you had to do this alone.” She rested a hand against his chest and stared at him, so deep into his eyes it unnerved him.

It made him tremble with the beginning of something he didn’t want to acknowledge. Like she could look right into his soul. He swore as he stared back—because he couldn’t look away if he tried—that he felt her touch him there, in that deep place. The need to lay his heart at her feet swelled to life inside of him.

A place nobody had touched since Karen.

A place that left him tied in knots. He wanted a future with her, yet the way she looked at him now, the way she made him yearn to lose himself in her arms, terrified him. He didn’t know if he was ready to walk that road again. Nothing had been clearer to him then when he’d stood in Mel’s kitchen two weeks ago, unable to stop the pain of this day from washing over him. He may want a future with Angela, with those babies she carried, but he still hadn’t moved beyond the pain of the past. Every damn day he wished he could somehow bring them back.