A Shattered Heart (Live & Love Series Book 1) (9 page)

Chapter 19

JOSH

“Come on, Nat. You need to stay with me. Come on, baby. Open your eyes. Help is on the way.”

I was gripping her close to my body, trying to put pressure on the wound. I prayed to God the bullet hadn’t entered her heart, but there was so much blood I couldn’t tell.

I silently prayed, “Please don’t take her from me, please.”

“The ambulance is here, Josh. You need to let them do their job.” Mark pulled on me, trying to get me to move out of the way.

“I won’t leave her,” I yelled at him.

“I don’t expect you to, but they need room. Please, let them try to save her.” He hugged me to his body.

We both slumped down and watched as the paramedics worked on Natalie. There was so much blood I couldn’t handle it.

“She’s coding. Defib, stat. Charging to two hundred. Clear,” we could hear the paramedic call out.

I watched helplessly as Nat’s body convulsed with each shock.

“Got a pulse. We need to move her. Start compressions,” The other paramedic said.

I followed them as they loaded Natalie into the ambulance.

“Are you family?” asked the paramedic

“Fiancé,” I offered.

“Get in. You can ride with us to the hospital,” she offered with sympathy in her eyes. “We have her stable right now, but she’s going to need surgery. We won’t know the full extent of her injuries until we get her in, so we need to hurry.” She pushed me into the back of the ambulance.

I hopped in then turned to look at Mark and Daniel.

“We’ll meet you there,” they said.

I looked at them helplessly until the doors were closed. Then I sat down and picked up Nat’s cold hand, praying and crying like I had never done before.

We reached the hospital, and they whisked Nat into surgery. I was left standing at the doors, blood soaked through my clothes, still feeling her cold hand in mine.

A hand landed on my shoulder

“Come on, bud. Let’s get you cleaned up.” Daniel led me away from the doors of the ER.

I didn’t say anything, only followed him. He took me to the bathroom where Mark was standing. Daniel gently pushed me through and locked the door behind him.

I looked up at Mark, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I fell to my knees and started bawling.

“Why, why, why…?” I sobbed.

Both Mark and Daniel joined me on the floor, wrapping their arms around me as I continue to sob. They said nothing, but their touch offered the support I needed while I broke down.

Finally, Mark broke the silence when my sobs died down. “We have to believe the surgeons will do their job. Let’s get you changed into these scrubs so we can go and wait in the waiting area, okay?”

I nodded then slowly started taking off my clothes, piece by piece, while my brothers stayed close. They bagged up my bloody clothes, and then we were ready to unlock the bathroom door and head to the waiting area.

“We have to let her parents know.” I ran a hand through my hair, tugging at the ends.

“I already notified them. They should be here soon,” Daniel replied

We headed to the waiting room to see he was right; her parents were huddled together in the corner, crying.

Instantly, I clammed up, thinking the worst.

“Did something happen?” I wheezed out.

“Oh, no, we haven’t heard anything yet. Sorry,” Nat’s father apologized. “I can’t believe this happened. What happened, Josh?”

“It’s a bit of a long story, sir, but I’ll try to give you what I know.” I looked to the doors to the surgery unit.

We all sat down and told Jim and Rita what we knew about Robin and the texts Natalie had been receiving. Both Jim and Rita took in the information yet were shocked to hear this was Robin’s doing.

“She was such a lovely girl,” said Rita. “We always included her in family functions. Oh, my God!” She broke down in Jim’s arms again.

With nothing else to say we all sat in silence, waiting and watching the OR doors.

Six hours later, a surgeon finally called out, “Natalie Sirano?”

We all stood up, and the surgeon walked over to Jim as we gathered around. My pulse was racing.

“We were able to get the bleeding under control. The bullet missed her heart by mere fractions of an inch. She is lucky to be alive; however, the bullet shattered her clavicle and scapula. There may be permanent damage, but only time will tell. She is in recovery right now, and when we move her to a room, you’ll be allowed in, but only a few at a time. She needs her rest. I’ll have the nurse come and get you when she is settled.”

We all breathed a huge sigh of relief. Then I sagged into my chair and looked up with a silent thanks.

Chapter 20

Two years…

I was in so much pain I could scream. This was definitely not my cup of tea. I thought Heaven was peaceful; instead, my chest hurt like it was on fire.
What gives?
I could smell antiseptic, too. This was a horrible place. I wanted a refund. I wanted to yell.

A warm hand tucked into mine.

“Come on, sweetheart. Open your beautiful eyes for me. I need to see you again. Please, just open those eyes,” came a familiar voice.

I felt the brush of lips across my hand.

“Natalie, come back to me, baby. I miss you.”

It was a struggle to open my eyes. Why were they so heavy?

“Just give her time, man,” said another familiar voice. “She needs the rest.”

I heard a sigh then felt more stroking on my hand.

I wasn’t sure how much time passed, but I finally opened my eyes and saw dark hair lying next to my hand, and even though it was blurry, I saw someone else sitting in the corner, sleeping.

I gently lifted my hand to stroke the hair, surprising him.

He looked straight up and at me. “There she is. Hey, baby. How you feeling?”

I tried to talk, but my voice felt really scratchy. I to clear my throat, but I can’t get much out but a squeak.

“Here’s some water, just small sips ok.” He offers the straw to me.

I am finally able to say something, “I hurt.”

“I know baby, I’ll get you something more for the pain.”

Mark grabs my foot, good to see you awake kiddo, you scared us all. He walks over and gently hugs me. I feel him sag against me slightly knowing that I am ok.

“Where is she?” I ask hoarsely.

“In jail,” says Josh.

Tears well in my eyes, but before I can say anything, “Don’t cry baby, you’re safe and she can’t harm you again. I’m here, we are all here. Even your parents are here. They went home to change, but will be back up later to see you. They’ll be happy to see you’re awake.” Josh smiled warmly. He hadn’t let go of my hand since I woke up and maybe even before that.

I cleared my throat again. “What’s the damage?”

“Uh, well. It missed your heart, so that’s the most important thing,” Josh started.

After a few minutes of awkward silences, Mark said, “I’ll just give you two a moment alone. I’ll fill everyone else in that you’re awake.”

I watched him leave then turned my face to Josh. He faced me, also, and I could see relief in his eyes. After a few minutes of silence, he took a deep breath.

“I was so scared, Nat. You have no idea what seeing you like that did to me. A part of my soul died when I saw all that blood, and your last words whispered to me were, ‘I’m sorry.’ ” Tears formed in his eyes and mine.

“I never want those words to be the last I hear, so I want you to know that I love you. I’ve loved you since the first time we kissed. You stole my soul, and at first, I was pissed, because I didn’t know what was happening. Once I figured it out, I was waiting for you to catch up. Then this happened, and I almost lost you forever. I don’t ever want to feel that again, and so I’m telling you now, even though you may not feel it yet, I love you.” He had tears leaking down his cheeks.

I smiled at him, although it probably looked like a grimace, considering how much pain I was in. Then I took a deep breath. “Do you want to know what I was sorry for?”

He nodded.

“I was sorry that I didn’t have any breath left to tell you how I feel. I thought for sure I was a goner, and I may be behind the times when it comes to everything that has happened in my life, but Josh, you have to know that I love you, too. Yes, it took me longer to come to terms with that. I mean, most people aren’t blessed with a great love of their life even once, but I got it twice. I’m not sure how lucky that makes me, but I’ll take whatever I can get. I love you, Josh.”

He grinned at me like I had just given him the world before leaning over, wiping the tears from my cheeks, and gently kissing me.

He sat back down and took my hand in his then laid his head down on my bed. I stroked his hair until I fell back asleep.

Sometime later, I was awakened by a commotion in my room. When my eyes opened, my parents were standing at the end of the bed. My mother had tears in her eyes, and Dad looked like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders.

“Hi,” is all I could say, too choked up for more words.

“Don’t you ever get shot again,” yelled my mother before she came over and hugged me on my good side. I wished I could hug her back, but it hurt too much.

“I’ll second that,” my dad said. He came over and kissed the top of my head. “You gave us quite the scare, young lady.”

“I never saw it coming.” That was my only response as the tears welled up again.

I looked over to see Josh was still sitting beside me, giving me the emotional support I needed. I squeezed his hand weakly, and he squeezed back.

My parents stayed for a bit to get all the details on my injuries then made to leave once I started yawning.

Once everyone was out of the room, I turned to Josh. “When am I allowed to go home?”

“Not sure. They think maybe in a week. They want to make sure there is no infection, and you are on the mend before they’ll release you. You’ll have a few more weeks in a sling, I suspect, and then you’ll have to start rehab on your arm.”

I didn’t say anything back, only processed everything that had happened, until Josh interrupted my thoughts.

“Are you okay? Is there anything I can do?” he asked softly.

“Sorry, I was just thinking over everything in my head. Where did I go wrong? Everything seemed normal with her until the very end. I just don’t understand.” I closed my eyes, suddenly tired from all the stress.

“I don’t think you could have prevented it, as much as I hate to say that. She is a very sick woman, and we’ll probably never know what was going on in her head or what set her off. I am just thankful you pulled through, and we can be together to start fresh.”

I smiled. “I’d love that.”

I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 21

JOSH

A little over a week later, we arrived back home. It had been a challenging few days leading up to that point, though. Nat had been in considerable pain once they had started taking her off IV pain medication. They had managed to get her arm in a sling, which had also been very painful to watch and listen to, but we were now at home, and she was resting comfortably on the couch.

We were keeping it pretty low key for the first few days. Only the four of us were here, catering to her needs and keeping it a relaxing atmosphere as much as possible.

“Can I get you anything, sweetie?” I asked, sitting in front of her on the coffee table.

“Just some tea, please. Maybe put it in a to-go mug with a handle so I can use my other arm.”

“Sure thing,” I replied.

“I was thinking about stuff,” she said.

“Uh-oh,” I remarked. “That’s sounds ominous.” I chuckled.

She scoffed playfully. “You know what? Never mind.”

I finished making her tea and then sat back down in front of her. “What were you thinking about?”

She simply looked down and blushed, which had me thinking all sorts of inappropriate thoughts.

“I’m not going to judge you or anything, Nat, so please tell me what you are thinking about.” I asked with a slight grin on my face.

“Okay, if you promise not to laugh,” she said timidly.

I made a cross-my-heart sign on my chest.

She took a deep breath, looking down at her knees instead of at me. “I want to officially move into your room.”

I tilted her chin up so she was looking at me. I could see worry in her eyes.

I smiled widely. “I thought you’d never ask, darlin’,” I said in my best Texan accent.

That got her to chuckle, and I could see the relief in her eyes.

***

Over the next few weeks, things started moving in a fluid pace. Nat’s arm was slowly healing, and she had started rehab, which put her in more pain than I had hoped. However, it was making her heal, as well; as a result, I was caught between seeing her hurt and wanting to see her on the mend. She had a range of emotions from everything that had happened. We had passed through a few of those already: grief; anger, which was interesting; doubt; etc. Regardless, I thought we were finally in the home stretch over everything that had happened.

Robin had been charged with attempted murder and would be going on trial next year, another journey we would go through together as a family when the time came.

We were getting stronger as a unit every day. We still lived in our house since it had plenty of room for everyone. I asked Nat if she wanted to move out and get our own place together, but she insisted that we stay, something about being around family making her whole again, not that I blamed her. We were a pretty fabulous bunch!

Now that everything was on the right path, I thought it was time for me to take the next step—marriage.

“Do you think she’ll like it?” I asked Mark.

I made Daniel stay home and entertain Nat while Mark and I went looking for rings.

“I think she’ll love it. Shit, I love it, and I’m not getting married.” He punched me playfully in the shoulder.

I rolled my eyes. “I just hope that my plan works and she says ‘yes,’ ”

“You’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

“It means another trip back to her hometown. Do you think it’ll set her back?” I asked.

“I think she should be fine. We’re all going, and I think that helps,” He offered.

“Time to head back home and get things going.”

Once we were back at the house, I found Nat in the kitchen, attempting to put a lid back on a jar as Daniel stared at her hard. Uh-oh, a battle of the wills was ensuing. This, I had to see.

“One more try, Nat, and then I’m doing it for you,” Daniel said sternly.

“Fuck off! I can do this.” Nat tried to screw the top on the mayo, but it was painful to watch. Couldn’t say I wouldn’t do the same thing as Daniel.

Daniel grunted and crossed his arms as he watched Natalie struggle to do something as simple as twist a lid on a jar.

The look of determination of her face had me wanting her to pull through. We watched as she wrestled with it some more, turning the lid a fraction at a time, but she was doing it. When she finally had it on as tight as she could get it, she looked at us triumphantly, her eyes sparkling and an air of ‘fuck you’ in her smirk.

Daniel clapped, and she smiled hugely. Then he took the jar and twisted it a couple of more times, just to prove his point, and put it away in the fridge.

Nat pointed her finger at him and squinted her eyes. “I’m putting mayo on your face when you sleep.”

With that, we all burst out laughing, and I pulled her into a hug then took her upstairs to our room to talk.

“Hey, I’m proud of you for trying with the lid. You are making such huge progress. I just wanted you to know that,” I said proudly.

She smiled back and blushed.

“I wanted to talk to you about something, though. That’s why I brought you up here.” I started. “I was thinking of visiting your parents again next week.”

She looked at me with wide eyes, but I continued.

“I know we just got over that nightmare with Robin, but I think we should start spending more time with your family, even if it’s just a few times per year. I think they deserve to know who their daughter has become and the chance to get to know her again.”

She didn’t remained quiet for a few minutes, but then she said, “You’re right. I do need to spend more time with them. I think it’s a great idea, as long as you are with me.”

I cupped my hand around my ear. “I’m sorry. Did I hear you say I was right?” I teased.

She smacked my arm, rolling her eyes, then walked back out of the room as I laughed behind her.

***

The following week, we boarded a plane and headed for her parents’ home once more. The flight was uneventful, and Jim and Rita were waiting for us at the airport when we arrived.

Little did Nat know, but I had called ahead and spoken with Jim, asking permission to marry his daughter, and he had wholeheartedly agreed. I also filled him in on my proposal plan.

We arrived at their house and got orientated. Much to my dismay, we were not allowed to sleep in the same room, which was obviously a last ditch effort by Jim to rain on my parade. He even winked at me, the bastard.

We had a nice dinner and were now just relaxing in the living room. Natalie was exhausted from the travel, falling asleep on my shoulder not long after dinner. Jim and I talked sports and politics for a bit before I decided to take Natalie to bed. Rita kindly offered to help turn the bed down for Nat.

Her shoulder was still sore YET had a bit more mobility than it had when she first had gotten home. I almost had to cut clothes off her in order to get them around her arm, but we managed. Now it was much easier, but it still required a bit of assistance when it came to the sling.

Nat was out cold by the time I had her covered up. She didn’t even protest that I wasn’t sleeping with her, so I knew she was tried.

I flopped down on my bed, going over my plan for tomorrow. I only hoped it paid off.

The next morning, I wanted this to be a day she would remember. Therefore, I began it by making her a hearty breakfast of pancakes topped with strawberries and whipped cream and a side of bacon.

Rita had been helping me in the kitchen, and it turned out she was quite the firecracker. I could see where Natalie had gotten her spirit from. It definitely made me smile.

I piled everything onto the tray and headed to her room where she was still sleeping. I set everything on the nightstand beside the bed then climb in with her and gently kissed her forehead, trailing kisses down her face until I saw her scrunch her nose. She slightly smiled and peeked open her eyes.

“Good morning, sunshine,” I said to her as I kissed her nose.

“Mmm … morning. It smells delicious.” She took a peak at the meal.

“All for you, babe. We have a big day of sightseeing ahead, so best start off with a good breakfast. I even cut up your pancakes so you wouldn’t have to.” I smiled softly at her.

She rolled her eyes, but said, “Thanks.”

I watched her eat while we chatted and relaxed together.

After she was done, I took the tray downstairs then came back up to help her with her shirt. I gave her the usual good morning kiss, which I really enjoyed. Even though it was giving me the biggest case of blue balls ever, I wanted to make sure I did things right, especially after everything that had happened. She wasn’t anywhere near healed enough for any of that yet, anyway.

Our first stop on the agenda was the zoo. I knew we had been there last time, but I wanted to relive some of the happy moments we’d had before Robin had intruded on our lives. Besides, when I talked to her dad about the proposal, his suggestions were to take her to all her favorite childhood places, and the zoo was one of them. I planned to spend the morning there as well as lunch, since they had a great little bistro inside the zoo.

At the zoo, it was early enough in the morning that the animals were active from a night of rest. I even bought us passes to help feed the giraffes, which Natalie was a little taken aback by at first. I got some great photos of the giant blue tongue coming out and licking her arm that was holding the hay. The guys would love the look on her face. Priceless.

We walked hand in hand the whole time, enjoying the sites. Meanwhile, her ring was burning a huge hole in my pocket.

Next on the list was her favorite rose garden tour. She had a thing for flowers as a child, according to her dad. We walked the grounds and talked about what we wanted in the future. It was a pleasant afternoon, but the best was yet to come.

“So, how you feeling, hon?” I asked.

“It’s been great. All these places were my favorite growing up. How’d you know?” she wondered aloud.

I shrugged. “I had a little help from your dad.”

She simply chuckled as we continued to walk down the path in the rose garden.

“I’m really enjoying seeing you back to your normal self,” I commented. “I finally feel at ease about what the future holds for us, and so I have one more trip planned for us today.” I watched her reaction.

“Lead the way, my good fellow,” was her cheeky reply.

I laughed as we headed back to the car, my hand suddenly clammy.

We drove around town until I parked the car in an unfamiliar lot. Well, unfamiliar to me, but it was extremely familiar to her. I waited for her reaction, but all she did was stare out the window. I watched as she swallowed then slowly turned her head toward me.

“What are we doing here?” she asked quietly.

I carefully turned off the car, contemplating what I wanted to say.

I reached over and grabbed her slightly trembling hand. “I wanted to meet your kids.”

Her breath hitched, and I wait for her next move.

After about ten minutes, she reached for the door handle. I followed her out of the car then waited for her to come around front and take my hand.

She was quiet while we walked the distance from the car toward a large maple tree. I knew there was a lot going through her mind right now as to why I would bring her here, but I wanted her to have some closure before we started our life together. Not to forget her family, but to honor their memory.

We stopped in front of a family plot where her former husband and two kids had been laid to rest.

Standing in silence for quite some time, she finally said, “You’d have really liked Jake. He was a lot like Daniel, always joking around. He was sweet and sensitive and the most caring guy I had ever met. We did so much together, and when Anthony and Julia came around, he was such a caring father, so attentive with them. I couldn’t have asked for a better dad for them.” She paused. “In a way, I am glad they went together. They have each other wherever they are, and I hope they are at peace.

I squeeze her hand in response.

She stepped forward and placed her hand on Jake’s headstone. “Hey, babe, it’s been a long time since I have been here, and I’m sorry for that. I miss you every day. You left a hole that I am trying my hardest to move past, but you’re a hard man to forget.”

She took a deep breath before she continued, “I’ve met someone, Jake. He’s truly my life savior, and I’ve fallen for him, much like I fell for you. I want you to know that I will always love you from the bottom of my heart, but know that Josh holds the best part of it now, and it’s time for me to move on and start again. Please don’t be mad or upset, but I have to do this for me, and I think you’d want that, that Anthony and Julia would want it, too. I love you, Jake. Rest in peace.” She placed a kiss on his headstone before moving over to Anthony and Julia’s headstones where she placed a kiss on each one.

“Mommy loves you, no matter what.”

She stepped back from them and into my embrace. I squeezed her tightly for a few moments. When I let go, I took her hand and stepped forward with her, back to Jake’s headstone.