A Shattered Wife (10 page)

Paul had smiled crookedly. "It’s not that. I’m just
nervous."

"About what?"

"You aren’t helping, Katie."

She giggled, feeling elated, like she might float away. "I’m
sorry. What’s on your mind?"

"Will you marry me?" Paul asked suddenly, his
clear blue-gray eyes asking far more intensely than his voice.

Tossing her head back and laughing happily, she squeezed his
fine, long-fingered hands. With unexpected tears in her eyes, she could only
nod.

A relieved sigh escaped Paul, and then he joined her, their
contagious laughter spreading joy to those nearby. The hours of rehearsing in
front of his bathroom mirror were wasted. He had never thought of just asking
her. "Oh! This is for you," he said, remembering the ring in his
jacket pocket.

He slipped the ring on her finger and a deep warm glow
spread through her. "It’s beautiful," she breathed, fresh tears
springing to her eyes.

Paul upset his water glass, sending it spiraling across the
table to drench everything in her plate. They began to laugh hysterically.

"What are you smiling about?" Paul’s voice brought
Katie back to the present as the summer green countryside whizzed past.

"Something wonderful," she answered, snuggling
contentedly against his shoulder. The warm glow was still with her, and she
thought it might always be there. It had definitely been well worth the wait.

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed each finger. "You
haven’t forgotten about talking to Martha, have you?"

Katie shook her head, still resting against his shoulder.
The whole idea that Martha needed psychological help seemed like a waste of
time, but she had promised. "You know I don’t often make house calls,"
she murmured, eyes closed, and fingered the diamond on her hand.

"Just this one time," Paul squeezed her knee, "as
a favor to me."

"Of course, I will expect adequate compensation for my
time and expertise."

"Oh, you’ll be handsomely rewarded," he said,
grinning. "In fact, I could stop up ahead and pay in advance." His
grin grew larger, hopeful.

She sat up and winked at him. Her hand covered his. "No,
I don’t think that will be necessary."

Trying not to look at the spot where her roses used to thrive,
Martha watched Paul’s car pull into the driveway and stop behind the truck.
Even though she’d felt quite at ease with Katie when they’d met in town, she
was anxious. The events of the past few days had drawn her nerves taut as a
bow, and she wondered if they might snap at any moment. After making an
unnecessary check on the lunch she had prepared, she went outside to greet her
guests.

"Isn’t it beautiful here?" Paul whispered as he
took Katie’s hand and felt his ring on her finger.

She nodded. On the porch she could see Martha and a large,
bearded elderly man in a wheelchair. There was a gun across his lap and one on
either side of him, within easy reach. This must be Bill. The guns worried her,
and it felt good to have Paul close, so she put on her best smile and let him
lead her forward.

"It’s good to see you again." Martha was surprised
that her voice sounded quite natural and even, and she and Katie exchanged
friendly smiles.

"Katie, this is Bill Landry. Bill, this is Katie
Albertson, my fiancée," Paul said.

Bill shook hands, but his eyes revealed none of the phrases
that were running through his head. Looking much younger than her thirty-six
years, she had on comfortably worn blue jeans and sneakers, and her curly red
hair was pulled into a ponytail. She reminded him of someone from long ago.

Martha saw the look on Bill’s face. She had seen it before
when he was in the company of women, and she knew it well. Then she saw the
ring on Katie’s hand. "I thought you were going to propose out here today?"
she asked, sounding much brighter than she felt.

Paul shrugged, not taking his eyes off Katie, and said, "I
couldn’t wait."

"Well, I can understand that!" Bill said.

Katie felt herself blushing. "Thank you."

After a few minutes of polite conversation, Martha excused
herself to get lunch.

"May I help?" Katie asked.

Martha declined and hurried inside so that she didn’t have
to watch Bill’s reaction to the young woman. Closing the door behind her, she
noticed that the chart was gone.

***

"Are you a nurse, Katie?" Bill asked, although he
was more interested in her tiny waist and firm breasts than her job.

Katie glanced quickly at Paul and then nodded. Something
about the old man’s attitude put all of her senses on alert.

"At the hospital where Paul works?"

"Yes," she lied. "That’s how we met."

Paul heaved a sigh of relief. He didn’t want them to suspect
the real purpose of Katie’s visit.

"I didn’t see any nurses this pretty when I was in the
hospital," Bill complained, winking at Paul.

"We keep the pretty nurses away from guys like you."
Paul grinned and put a possessive arm around her shoulders.

"Lunch is ready," Martha announced through the
screen door.

Bill followed Katie and Paul inside. He wanted a closer look
at the way Katie’s jeans fit her nicely curved hips.

Inside, they gathered around the table. It was laden with
steaming vegetables, fried chicken and strawberry shortcake for dessert.

"You never fixed fried chicken for me!" Paul
teased.

Martha smiled shyly. "Katie is special, and she
deserves a special lunch."

Katie felt herself blushing again. She forgot, for the
moment, that this was a professional visit and that these were not Paul’s
parents or her future in-laws.

During their meal, the men talked about guns and hunting.
Martha and Katie exchanged a few words, but most of the time Martha kept her
eyes on her plate. Her behavior could have been nervousness; it could have been
shyness. Katie suspected it was neither. Martha wore her tension with
resignation, as if she'd been carrying it for a long time.

After lunch, the men went back outside, but Katie insisted
on helping with the cleanup. Alone in the kitchen, Martha became more
talkative, mentioning the wedding and offering to make Katie’s dress. Still,
Katie didn’t like the look in the older woman’s eyes.

"Martha, why don’t you show Katie around a bit,"
Paul suggested when the two women joined them on the porch.

"I thought you’d want to do that," Martha said,
puzzled.

Bill sat silently, watching and comparing the two women.
Martha, quiet and mousy. Katie, flaming and beautiful. What he wouldn’t give
for a few hours with her, back when his body had been complete.

"You know the place better than he does," Katie
said, taking the hint from Paul and turning to Martha. "I’d really enjoy
going for a walk with you."

Martha was glad. It had been a long time since she’d walked
up to the pond and it would feel good to show off the place that she loved so
much. With Martha in the lead, the two women followed a weed-choked path around
an outbuilding and up the steep bank behind it. Struggling, they got a wooden
gate open, then continued through the woods to a clearing and some flat land
that had once been the site of a log cabin. Later, it had gone to pasture.

"It’s …been…a…long time," Martha panted, stopping
to rest. Her breath came in labored gasps.

Katie nodded. She was breathing a little harder than usual
as well, and a thin layer of perspiration covered her arms and face. Waiting
patiently, she began to look around. Rabbits played nearby, oblivious to their
presence, and two squirrels scampered back and forth on the limb of a dead oak.
"Look," she whispered excitedly. The animals hesitated in their games
but showed no signs of fear. For a moment, it looked as if they might come over
to be petted. "They’re almost tame," she breathed.

Martha said nothing, but hurried ahead.

"Why weren’t they afraid of us?" Katie asked,
running to catch up

"I don’t know. The animals never seem to be afraid of
me." Her voice trailed off.

Seeing the older woman’s discomfort, Katie changed the
subject. "Paul was right. It really is beautiful here."

"Wait until you see the pond."

"Where is it?"

"Just over this knoll, then to your right," Martha
said as she led the way up the rise, through a pine thicket and down to the
edge of the pond. What she saw surprised her; the last time she’d seen this
place it spanned almost a hundred yards. Now it was much smaller, and choked
with weeds and tall grass. She couldn’t even be sure where the water began,
because thick green slime covered the pond. A strong, stagnant smell made them
both wrinkle their nose.

"I’d hate to fall in that!" Katie exclaimed.

"I’m sorry," Martha said, her heart sad. "It
looks like it needs some work." She hated for anyone to see the once
beautiful spot in such bad condition. Was everything rotting away? This farm,
her marriage...

"Don’t worry about it. It’s lovely. Just listen."
Katie turned her head to the right and then left. "It’s so quiet."

A frog croaked noisily and plopped into the water, breaking
the stillness. The women exchanged smiles and walked carefully around to sit in
a shady spot.

"How long have you lived here?" Katie asked when
they were settled. Patches of afternoon sun filtered down through the trees,
sparking gold highlights in her hair.

"Almost forty years. Our son, William, was born here,"
Martha told her. She began to feel more relaxed, more thoughtful.

Katie began to put her professional training into play. Her
attitude was one of silence, interest, listening quietly. There was no need to
rush. She had lots of time.

After a while Martha said in a reflective tone, "The
way those animals acted – that’s not unusual." She looked down at her
hands, absently shifting pine needles and dirt through her fingers. "I
used to feed them, but I don’t anymore."

When Katie made no comment, Martha continued. "At
first, when I was very young, I didn’t like it here. Now," she shrugged, "I
can’t imagine living anywhere else. It’s home."

"You may have to someday, you know. I mean, if
something happened to Bill."

Martha chewed on her lower lip and considered the remark. "No,
I think I would live here even without Bill. Sometimes I think it would be
easier without him."

Immediately her hand flew to her mouth. The words had slipped
out before she could stop them. "I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that."

Katie touched the older woman's slim shoulder. "I’m
sure he’s not an easy man to deal with when he’s sick. Most men aren’t."

Embarrassed, Martha tried to explain. "If he would just
relax, give in a little. He tries to be so strong and independent all of the
time."

"They’re all that way, or so I’ve found," Katie
told her with a reassuring smile.

"Sometimes," Martha started, then paused. She took
a deep breath and looked away from Katie. Could she talk to this girl? Maybe
Katie would talk to Paul. "Sometimes, I’m afraid of him."

"Afraid of Bill?"

Martha swallowed hard and nodded. "He gets so angry and
he always has those guns." She shivered in spite of the warm weather.

Now, Katie knew what had been nagging at her ever since she
had met Martha. She had seen the look in Martha’s eyes before. It was on the
face of every abused child or wife she’d worked with. There were no signs here
of physical abuse, but she had a feeling that mental abuse could be one of
Bill’s specialties.

"He doesn’t threaten you, does he?" Katie asked
slowly, carefully, trying not to frighten her into silence.

"Not exactly, but…."

It took some encouragement, but the words poured out,
tumbling over one another in a confused, disorganized scramble, as if they were
eager to escape. Starting with the Father’s Day fiasco and ending with Bill
making her carry the dead groundhog to the porch and cut down her beloved
roses, Martha told Katie everything. Tears of relief, shame and guilt spilled
down her cheeks, unchecked, as she finished.

Katie just listened, comforted, murmured encouragement. She
knew the benefit of talking, getting it out into the open.

"I told some of this to Paul, but he didn’t believe me,"
Martha said as they began to retrace their steps down the path. Her tears were
drying and she felt lighter, as if a great weight had lifted.

"What makes you think so?"

"He told me I needed some rest, and he gave me those
sleeping pills. I don’t need rest – I need help with Bill." She paused,
turning to look at Katie. "I’m afraid he’s losing his mind." Just
saying it aloud made her feel better. Her worst fears were out in the open.

"Let me talk to Paul. Maybe I can help," Katie
volunteered.

"Do you think you can?" Martha looked doubtful.

Katie nodded and started walking again. Martha was under a
great deal of pressure, she was nervous, and she probably did need some rest,
but she was not crazy. If anyone needed psychological help, it was Bill.

A gunshot sounded from the direction of the house. The birds
and animals around them froze immediately, and an eerie silence settled in the
woods. The two women exchanged brief glances – Katie’s questioning, Martha’s
pained – then continued down the path.

"Well, have you two planned the wedding?" Paul
asked, enfolding Katie in his arms. It felt to him as if she’d been gone for
days.

"Oh, sure!" Katie waved a hand. "We have
everything under control, don’t we?"

Martha refused to look at Bill. Her alliance with Katie made
her feel stronger than she had in weeks. In control again, she smiled and
nodded. It’s going to be a beautiful wedding."

Sensing a change in Martha, Bill, without appearing to,
watched her curiously. Then he said, "I could go for more strawberries."
It was not what he wanted to say.