A Shiver of Wonder (26 page)

“He was wearing an old pair of her
underwear, had barrettes in his hair and makeup on, and hanging on
his feet – since there was no way they would ever fit him – was a
pair of Genevieve’s bright red pumps.”

Now, David cracked a smile. This was moving
rapidly from tragedy to farce.

“I don’t know what she said to him. I don’t
think I even
want
to know how the rest of that afternoon
went for him. But that was it for their engagement. Kablooey, right
there.”

David could only imagine the uptight
Genevieve’s scorching reaction to such a scene.

“He stayed in the house for two months more.
Separate rooms, separate everything. This was in April, and the
school year ended in June. Genevieve was furious, but she wouldn’t
disgrace him. She understood that it would serve neither of their
interests to have this trumpeted all over town.”

Oh, if David had been aware of this,
everything
in their relationship would have been different!
He’d been working himself up all of this time over a
cross-dresser!

“But during those two months, they spent a
lot of time talking. And both of them realized that they wanted to
remain friends. Seven years is a long time, and you know how
Genevieve is… she doesn’t leave a lot of extra room for making
friends.”

“Yeah. I’m aware. Partitions, remember?”

And at the very instant David finished
enunciating ‘remember’, a third intense shiver swooped down on him.
Every one of his nerve endings was tingling, every hair on his body
seemed to have stood straight up.

“No!” he articulated in disbelief.

But the other David was nodding. “Yes,” he
answered with a smile.

“How the hell did I miss that?” David burst
out. “Seriously? I must have been blind!”

The other man shrugged again. “Obviously, I
was too.”

“I just… I never put it together. The two of
them were…”

“Partitioned off from one another?”

“Yes. Yes! I love that word, it’s just
perfect for everything Genevieve. Todd, Jess. Jess, Todd. Oh, how
could I have been so stupid to miss the double consonants at the
end of the two names?”

“Or the lack of pictures of either one?”

“Or the fact that neither of them has set
foot in Shady Grove for years! Does Jess still come out this July?
Do I get to meet her or him?”

The older David nodded, his smile still
firmly in place. “Yes. You do. And you’ll like her, too. She’s a
trip, as Abby used to say.”

“Is she cute? I could never tell from her
voice.”

But the other man’s eyes narrowed as his
lips curled. “Not exactly. She’s… handsome, you might say. Muscular
for a girl. Tall, too. But she’s gotten easier on the eyes as the
years have passed. Better hormone treatments, most likely. And
although Genevieve tried to help her with the makeup thing before
she left Shady Grove, I believe it took a while before Jess
actually got the hang of it.” He chuckled. “You’ll see. I remember
trying to keep a straight face at first, but she’s charming.
Really. And Lydia would never have spoken to me again if I’d blown
it there. She’s always been very protective of those who have
slightly different tastes from others, as you know.”

David groaned as yet another aspect of
Genevieve’s community interests became clearer to him. “What about
Ormsby?” he then asked. “Does my favorite detective have a secret
stash of women’s apparel in the closet as well?”

“Oh, no!” he laughed. “Ormsby is straighter
than straight. But I’m not going to spoil that for you. Let’s just
say that his eventual reaction is well worth waiting for. And yes,
you’ll be present for it. And no, he never does get any more
tolerable!”

The light in the church shifted, becoming
brighter as a pinkish glow began to descend from the Rose Window in
a pale shaft. David glanced at his watch, and was stunned to
discover that over thirty minutes had passed already.

“You’re not going to need that when you go
outside,” the man stated, pointing to David’s umbrella. And then he
stood, leisurely but resolutely.

“I guess not,” David replied. He pointed to
the faint, roseate column of light. “Was that your cue?”

His answer was a nod. “Yes. I remember it
happening before. I remember that this is when we said
goodbye.”

David, though, could detect more than a hint
of wistfulness in both his tone and his expression. He rose as
well. “Has the actuality lived up at all to the anticipation?”

The elder David appeared to be fighting off
tears. “Twenty-seven years is a long time to wait. It’s a long time
to keep a secret like this. I have no complaints, though. About
anything.”

David nodded as well. “Thank you. For all
that you said. For… reassuring me, or trying your best to do
so.”

“I hope you can use what you learned in
here.”

“You already know that I did. Or will. Or
however it’s best phrased. I… well, I hope that things continue to
be good for you. I hope you find Clair. I’d ask you to thank her
for me, but you already will, won’t you?”

“If I find her. You never know, she might
want to be found. She obviously knew how to find me.”

Both men looked up as a slight draft brushed
over the tops of their heads. It was through almost before it
started, though.

Their eyes found each other again.

“You think?” asked David, his voice catching
in his throat.

“Probably not,” replied the other man
evenly. “But I’m not going to say it’s not possible.”

David glanced toward the narthex. “I’ll see
ya, then” he said as he began pacing toward Willow Avenue. “Or
rather, I’ll be ya.”

“That you will,” was called out from behind
him. “Good and bad, blissful and sad.”

David pivoted. “Oh,
please
tell me
that getting older doesn’t involve saying things like that all the
time!”

A beam broke out. “You’re the one who’ll say
it, David. Feel free to polish any of the dialogue. Didn’t work for
me, but it’s worth a shot, right?”

David grinned as he headed again for the
doors. Good and bad, blissful and sad… how could he alter a pearl
like that?

He turned once more just before exiting the
nave. He waved goodbye, slowly. And David returned the gesture. He
took one last long look at himself, and then left before the older
man could see the tears that he undoubtedly remembered were in his
eyes.

David paused for a couple of minutes in the
narthex. While part of him felt an urgency to pull open the door to
the nave again – if only to catch a glimpse of himself one last
time – another, more logical, part of him understood that all he
would find was a church devoid of people. The other man was already
gone. He was even right now making his way down the same center
aisle that David had just traversed, only at a far different point
in time.

He glanced toward the doors that led to
Willow Avenue, but knew that he wasn’t prepared yet to reenter the
present-day world.

Clair, Clair, Clair. Would his memories of
that wonderfully bizarre girl remain as strong over the coming
years as they were now, only a week after he’d last seen her?

If what his older self had relayed to him
was any indication, the answer to that question was an unequivocal
yes.

But why would he search for her, or for the
redoubtable Mrs. Rushen, knowing already that he would discover
nothing, unearth no trace of the pair over the next twenty-seven
years?

Because he would have to! All human beings
pursued goals that were deemed impossible, unachievable, inane or
unwise, no matter who or what informed them of the cold hard facts
about their aspirations.

Even if their aspirations were as simple as
desiring a relationship with someone who was considered beyond
their reach.

What did David desire? Whom did David
desire?

For all of his flirtations with Lydia, not
to mention his ineffable delight with her returned affections, he
wanted Genevieve. He
needed
Genevieve. Truly, she was an
amazing creature, rich with unexplored pockets of warmth, and
uncharted depths of feeling. She was the woman with whom the man
that David aspired to be belonged. And he wanted to be that man. He
wanted to become that man.

But hadn’t he just met the proof that his
desires would be met? What was David the elder if not the distinct
realization of the goals that David had already set for
himself?

Yet knowing that he would eventually arrive
at those goals was not the same as having undertaken the arduous
journey to get there.

Was there a possibility that his older self
had been a chimera? A delusion planted in his mind by weakness? By
Clair? By his disintegrating hopes for the continuance of the
better life that he had finally forged for himself here in Shady
Grove?

But perhaps these agonizing doubts were why
he had needed reassurance. He had needed to be told that things
would work out, eventually if not instantly. He had required a shot
in the arm.

Clair had done this. Clair had arranged all
of this for David.

Why? To demonstrate that she bore him no ill
will? Because she had enjoyed their occasional chats in the
courtyard of the Rainbow Arms? Or to chalk up another purportedly
good deed to place on the internal scales that she, along with
nearly every other resident of this Earth, obviously spent
immeasurable time and energy balancing?

David didn’t know. And he suspected that he
would never know.

The light in the narthex, already brighter
than before, began to glow as the sun high above peeked out from
behind the clouds. The storm was departing Shady Grove, its
outskirts not having punished the town much beyond a few drizzly
lashes.

David stepped toward the doors and pushed
outside. Before him lay the public square, exquisitely framed by
Willow Avenue directly ahead, and Second and Third Streets on
either side.

He smiled as he wondered if the other David
had stopped for a moment to savor the same view as well. Birds were
singing, the damp tree limbs were crackling, and pedestrians had
begun to stroll the sidewalks again.

And one of those pedestrians, striding
directly in front of the church on her way toward the business
district, was Genevieve MacGuffie. She too was holding a furled
umbrella. Her hair was down, her footsteps were light.

“Genevieve!” David called out.

She looked up, and then immediately halted.
“David? What are you doing here?”

He grinned as he started to jog down the
steps. “I had some time to burn, so I decided I should finally see
the inside of the church.” His feet slowed as he came closer to
her. “You were right. It’s beautiful.” He stopped. “You look good,
Genevieve. Really good.”

She smiled, and he noted that his honest
compliment had brought a flush of pleasure to her cheeks. “I
forgot,” she said quietly. “We were going to do that some day,
weren’t we?”

David shrugged. “Spending time with myself
in there wasn’t so bad. I just… I’m just glad to see you. I’ve
missed you.” His eyes dropped to the pavement for a second, but
then rose to directly meet hers. “It’s been a terribly long week.
I’ve wanted to call, so many times. And each time I began to…”

Her smile was widening. “You were afraid,”
she finished for him.

He nodded. “Yes. Pathetic, I know. But I
can’t help it.”

Genevieve was suddenly moving forward.
Before David could even register what was happening, she had
grasped the back of his head with her free hand, and was kissing
him, almost savagely.

And then, just as swiftly, she retreated.
And once again, they were in the same positions as before, though
each now exhibited the same silly expression on their
countenance.

“I love you, David,” she stated. “I do. I
don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just spent two hours with Abby,
and that dear woman had to listen to me go on and on about
something that she apparently has known all along. Which is that I
love you, and I need you.”

David remained silent. He gazed into her
eyes, and did his best not to burst into tears again.

“She told me that I’ve been making life hell
for you, for me, for both of us. That it was time for me to put a
stop to my… endless tinkering with the recipe is what she called
it. I don’t really know
what
it is that I’m always doing,
but if
I’m
tired of it, I can’t even begin to guess how
terrible I’ve been to you!”

“Genevieve, I…” But David didn’t have a
genuine demurral to offer.

“No. Abby is right,” she continued. “When
Janice came to the store last week to try and explain what I’d
seen, I was already getting angry with myself. I’d been a complete
bitch to you at Longworth House, and I knew I’d acted like a fool
when I stopped by your building the day before. So when Lydia came
into the kitchen to get me, and told me that Janice Templeton was
out there, sitting at a table and wanting to talk to me, I just
shut down entirely. I felt so ashamed that this poor woman had to
come all the way up there to tell me something that I never should
have needed to be told.”

She reached forward to take hold of his
hand. “I need to be better than that. I
want
to be better
than that. And I don’t want you marrying Lydia, even if she
is
wonderful, not to mention everything that I’m not!”

“She showed you my text?” David asked in
astonishment.

But Genevieve shook her head before inhaling
deeply. “No. She informed me just before we opened that if I didn’t
make up my mind, and either repair the damage I’d caused or end
things entirely with you, she’d have no choice but to step in and
carry you away for herself.”

“Ouch.” David grimaced as he desperately
clamped down on his swiftly inflating ego.