A Shot of Sin (5 page)

With no control to stop it, Shay’s gaze raked the woman’s body, over the hardened nipples, the glint of jewelry in her navel, the crevices of bare vagina, to the smooth thighs and finally her dark painted toe nails.

Awkward. Stare at those toes. Do not take your focus away from those fucking toes.

“Umm.” Shay cleared her throat. “I’m fine.”

“Do you mind handing me a towel?”

Shay was thankful for the excuse to turn her back, and gave the woman what she wanted.

“Is that better?”

Shay raised her gaze to the woman now covered in the large towel, feeling a slight reprieve to the massive case of holy-fuck-get-me-out-of-here. “Thanks,” she murmured, ignoring the heat climbing up her neck.

“Now tell me what’s really wrong.”

Shay frowned.

“Come on.” The woman strolled past her and jumped up to sit on the vanity counter. “Spill. You look like you’re caught between disgust and shock.”

Ouch. “Is it that obvious?”

The woman nodded. “Kinda. I’ve been around the club for a while. I’ve seen a lot of virgins walk through the doors.”

“Oh, I’m no virgin.” Shay shook her head. The situation continued to worsen. Not only was her distaste evident, but she was acting so childish people thought she was pure.

“Sex-club virgin, honey.” She chuckled. “It’s nothing to worry about. You just look out of place.”

The clarification didn’t help. “I don’t think I’m cut out for this type of scene. Even as a working environment.”

“Why are you apprehensive?”

Shay didn’t know where to start. The list in her mind seemed a mile long and it was all exacerbated because the man she liked was a participant and the owner. “It’s…so…” She shrugged. She didn’t know this woman, and she certainly didn’t want to offend her any more than she probably already had.

“Would it help if I told you why I come here?”

The woman focused on Shay with genuine concern, like they were best friends trying to get through a challenging situation. There was no reason for it, but Shay felt a slight connection to the woman’s sincerity. Maybe it was because she wanted to cling to the only person who didn’t currently have exposed assets.

“I guess.”

“I’m single.” The woman grinned, as if her status was a badge of honor. “I work. Hard. Every damn day, and at the end of the week, I want someone to snuggle up to. My job doesn’t give me time to date, and I don’t really want that drama in my life at the moment. But what I do want is a little attention every now and again.”

The woman paused, waiting for a reaction. Shay could only nod in acknowledgement.

“I love sex.” The woman’s smile widened. “However, men can be selfish assholes.”

Shay released a soft chuckle. “You’re preaching to the choir.”

“I guess it’s hard to explain. And I suppose, even harder for an outsider to understand. But down here, it’s like family.” The woman cringed. “Wow. That came out wrong.”

Shay snorted with delirium and came to rest against the vanity, listening intently.

“Everyone down here wants sex. And I guess, because we are all somewhat assured of getting what we crave, people are more giving. The guys…” her eyes glittered, “…they are ah-may-zing. If you say no they immediately back off. There are no questions, no recriminations, no judgments.”

It sounded amazing, in theory. “But don’t you feel weird having a crowd of people watch you?”

“Have you ever been watched?” The woman raised a brow. “Have you ever fantasized about someone watching you?”

“Maybe.” Shay shrugged and felt the heat crawl back up her neck when the woman grinned.

“It’s a rush. And most of all, for me, it’s uplifting. Knowing another man, or woman, is aroused because of what you’re doing.” The woman crossed her legs, making the towel rise up her thighs. “Security is also a big bonus. I come here knowing I won’t be assaulted or abused. I don’t have to seduce men and risk my safety by going home with them or taking them back to my home, which is secluded and would make me vulnerable. For me, there’s no other option, until I want to settle down and focus on finding a husband.”

Shay broke eye contact and stared at the polished tiled floor. It made sense. Picking up men involved risk and wasn’t usually worth the effort.

“I’m Zoe by the way.”

“Shay.”

“Well, Shay, I know you’re down here as a staff member, not a participant, but try and look at the club without reservations. Imagine what it would be like if two guys were smothering you with affection, their sole focus on your pleasure.”

The fantasy heated her nipples and she crossed her arms over her chest in frustration. “I’m not looking for more than one guy.”

“Anyone in particular?” Zoe quirked her sultry lips. “There are already whispers about Leo commanding you aren’t to be touched. He’s a great guy. You’d be a lucky woman if you gained his long-term interest.”

No luck there. Shay was far from gaining his interest

“He’s a sexual man though. You’d need to get over your inhibitions.”

Shay released a heavy breath, unsure if getting over her inhibitions was an option. Or even worth it. From Leo, she wanted love. And it didn’t seem possible to establish a relationship in this environment.

A loud bang sounded on the door and Shay startled. “Shit.”

“Shay, are you in there?” Leo’s voice boomed from outside the bathroom.

“Wow,” Zoe whispered, pushing off the counter. “The boss sounds like he’s going caveman on your ass. Do you really want to miss the opportunity to have all that raw masculinity to yourself?”

“But that’s just it—” She wanted to discuss her issues concerning monogamy but another loud knock cut her off.

“Shay!”

“I’ll leave you to it.” Zoe unwrapped the towel from around her body and placed it in the wicker basket. “I have two very lovely men to get back to.”

Shay straightened and had to stop herself from begging the woman not to leave. She didn’t want to be left alone with Leo. So far tonight, all they’d done was argue. She wanted to go back to the flirting and fun, the innuendo and batting eyelashes, and forget this discovery had ever been made.

Instead, she swallowed the nausea creeping up her throat and rubbed at the rampant butterflies in her belly. “Thank you.”

“No problem, honey. Come find me if you ever have any questions.”

Shay gripped the counter behind her, oblivious to the naked curves strutting from the bathroom, and focused on the man who reached to hold open the door. She’d never seen Leo so furious. His eyes were narrowed slits, his jaw tight, his hands clenched in fists at his side while wild strands of hair shadowed his features.

“What’s going on?” His harsh tone hit harder than the current glare he fixed her with.

She could understand his aggression. She’d insulted him earlier and it would take more than a few hours for him to get over it. An apology was necessary. She just couldn’t find the strength to say it. Not tonight. Not when her heart was bleeding and her temples throbbing.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” She pulled a face. Duh.

“Cut the crap, Shay. You’ve been in here for fifteen minutes.” He strode inside the women’s bathroom like his shit was red hot and let the door fall closed behind him. “Are you capable of working the bar next weekend or not?”

She straightened, taking his question as a fresh insult to her capabilities. “Of course I am. You know that.”

“Do I? You made it clear you don’t approve of the scene. I don’t want you spreading hate toward the patrons. They pay good money to be here.”

Fuck you.
She returned his glare. “I’d never do that.” And besides, she didn’t have hate to spread. Every passing minute made her realize her aversion was from being clueless about the lifestyle. For singles, it seemed like the perfect way to have fun. She didn’t know if she’d ever try it herself or understand the reasons why someone in a committed relationship would join, but her horizons were inching a tiny bit wider.

“Really?” He shrugged. “I guess I don’t know what to expect from you anymore.”

“From me? Are you kidding?” She raised her voice. “You blindsided me, remember? You knew I had feelings for you, and you strung me along like a lost puppy. And all this time I never had a chance.”

“Because I knew you’d act like this,” he snarled. “This is who I am, Shay, and I knew you’d never want a part of it.” He stepped forward, closing in on her. “I didn’t lead you on. I tried my fucking hardest to stay away. Do you think I haven’t imagined spreading your thighs a thousand damn times since you started working here? Or wondered what it would be like if you enjoyed the club scene. I’ve been living in my own private hell, unable to stop you from dragging me round by the dick.”

His angered breaths brushed her lips as her mouth dried.

“You never gave me a chance,” she murmured, swallowing over the gravel in her throat. He didn’t have the right to make assumptions about her sexuality, just like she hadn’t had the right to insult him earlier.

“I did.” His voice lowered to a whisper. “Months ago, when I touched you in the storeroom.”

Shay narrowed her gaze on his ocean eyes. “I don’t understand.”

“I was testing you. Once and for all, I needed to know how you reacted to sex. If you’d be open-minded enough to try things out of your comfort zone. Yet even in the privacy of a storeroom, you acted shocked and distraught at what we’d done.”

No. Fucking. Way. She blinked at him, not sure whether to set him straight or claw his eyes out. “I wasn’t distraught.”

She’d been shocked, yes, because it was the first time a guy had unselfishly pleasured her. Usually, she was the one giving sexual favors without her own gratification. She’d been flustered, trying to hide her growing infatuation and adoration because he’d treated her the way she’d always wanted to be treated. In that moment, her feelings had passed the point of infatuation and she’d struggled to disguise it.

“You should’ve given me the opportunity to make my own decisions,” she murmured, stepping to the side, needing space from his cloying dominance. “I might have tried.”

He bridged the gap between them, hovering over her. “Prove it.”

“Prove what?” She shuddered, trying to ignore the throb beginning to pulse in her pussy.

He took another step, backing her into the counter, bringing them thigh to thigh. “That you’d try.” His gaze was bleak as he pressed the hardness of his erection against her abdomen. “Try for me. Now,” he whispered.

She shook her head. No. Not tonight. Not when her heart was barely beating and her mind couldn’t control her rampant thoughts. He didn’t deserve it. Nor did she. No matter how much her pussy throbbed in encouragement. “No.”

Slowly, he leaned forward, his light dusting of stubble brushing her cheek. She shivered, her thoughts and body swaying as he murmured in her ear.

“Your lips say no, but your body says otherwise. Which is it?”

She closed her eyes, unable to decide, unable to breathe. She ran her hand around his neck for grounding and prayed the right choice would hurry up and make itself known. All she’d ever wanted was his attention, his desire, but the timing and her insecurities were tainting the X-rated fairytale she’d imagined.

“Shay.” Her name was a whisper against her neck as he brought one of his hands to rest on the counter and the other on her hip and then slowly moved upward. “Please don’t torture me.”

Him? He’d been endlessly tormenting her for longer than she could remember. “I don’t know what to do.” Her body was on fire, her nipples hard, her sex fluttering. But people were on the other side of that door. Naked people. Anyone could walk in. Anyone could see them and think their intimacy was a show to be watched. Did that matter? Right now, she had no fucking clue. The heat of his body made it hard to rationalize.

He parted her legs with his knee and ground the hardness of his thigh against her mound. Her sex creamed in response, bursting to life in a mass of tingles. Damn her treacherous body. A whimper escaped her throat and she clung tighter to his neck. She wanted him so much it hurt, but she didn’t want to hate herself afterward. If she did this, it needed to be for the right reasons. And all of her had to be onboard—mind, body and soul. Not just her pussy.

“I can’t.” She released him and placed her hands against his chest. “I need more time.”

He stiffened, killing her slowly in the following silent seconds. “Okay.” He stepped back, keeping his focus lowered. The hard length of his erection strained against the crotch of his pants, and it suddenly hit her that he might go elsewhere for relief.

“It’s almost time for you to knock off anyway. You may as well go home and get the extra sleep.”

Alarm bells rang in her ears. His instant dismissal only exacerbated her theory of him taking another woman. Her stomach nose-dived, freefalling while she silently sucked in a deep breath. The distress must have been written on her face, because when he glanced up, his features softened.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“But you will, right?” she choked. “I’ll drive away the same moment you drive your dick into someone else.”

She instantly regretted the words, even before the look of loathing crossed his face. Calm under pressure, she was not.

“I’m not a fucking animal,” he spoke through clenched teeth and spun away from her, heading for the door. “Go home, Shay.”

Chapter Five

Leo slid onto one of the bar stools and kept his head lowered, his hands fisted into tight balls below the counter. He was on the cusp of losing his shit. He’d never been this angry in his life. His heart was pounding, his head throbbing, and if he clenched his teeth any tighter, he was sure he’d crack a tooth.

“Scotch,” he barked at Travis.

Shay continued to come out swinging, and he only had himself to blame. He was the reason she was acting like a wounded animal backed into a corner. He should’ve waited until she came out of the bathroom, into the open, instead of storming in on her. Only he hadn’t been able to curb his worry when he couldn’t find her behind the bar. He let panic choose his actions instead of common sense, and yet again, he was nursing wounded pride.

“Here you go, boss.”

Leo grasped the glass that slid in front of him and downed it in two burning gulps. Sweet Jesus, that shit stung. He wanted to order another, to get shit-faced and bury his troubles in the depths of another woman’s body just to piss Shay off. It wouldn’t take much for him to be the asshole she thought he was. But no matter how angry he became, he wouldn’t stoop that low.

He had a heart. And although he wanted to, he couldn’t blame Shay for her backhanded comments. She was in shock and always flew off the handle when she didn’t have tight control of her emotions. He’d seen it happen too many times to count. It was one of her not-so-endearing charms—the way she showed she was hurting by shooting out a rapid, uncensored response.

“I’m going home.” Her voice broke his thoughts.

He held tight to his glass, trying hard not to raise his gaze. She wasn’t speaking to him anyway. From his periphery, he watched her grab her phone from the counter and shove it in her pocket. “I hope to see you again, Travis.”

“You too, Sas-Shay.”

Quit the endearments, Travis, or I’ll break your face.

She strode back around the counter, not acknowledging Leo’s existence, not bothering with a see you later, asshole, and stormed away. The need to chase after her clawed at his back. He even had to fight not to glance over his shoulder and watch her leave.

“Fuck that,” he muttered. He’d walked down this shitty path before. He was stronger than this. She was only a woman, after all. Nobody should have a tight rein on his dick like she did. Then again, she’d always been more than a typical woman to him. He’d been attracted to her since the day she’d handed in her employment application.

Tempting looks aside, he was drawn to her for too many reasons. She worked hard, played even harder, and owned her independence. She didn’t placate others and never hid behind a fake façade. He needed a strong-willed woman like that. He needed her, period.

“Want to talk about it?” Travis asked.

Leo raised his gaze and glared.

The bartender held up his hands in surrender. “I guess not.” He began polishing the beer taps. “Let me know when you cool down. I need to speak to you about a minor issue with Shay earlier.”

Issue. As if he wasn’t going to bite at that statement. “What issue?”

“It isn’t major, and she didn’t want me to make a big deal about it.” He shrugged. “Glenn kept staring at her from the corner while he jerked off. I don’t think she was prepared for that sort of thing. It freaked her out.”

Of course she wasn’t fucking prepared. Leo hadn’t given her the time to be. He’d crumpled under Brute and T.J.’s suggestion, not wanting to out his infatuation for her and completely cocked up the situation. He pushed from his stool, ready to…he didn’t know what, and stepped back into a human wall.

“It’s just me,” T.J. spoke from behind him. “Where’s Shay?”

“Shh,” Leo snapped and raised his brows at Travis to continue.

“There was no issue,” he reiterated. “She was cool about it and made it clear she didn’t want anything said to you or Glenn. But I thought I’d let you know, I had a quiet word with him anyway. I told him tonight was her first night and she was a little skittish.”

“Fuck.” Leo huffed out a breath and rubbed his forehead. “We’re going to lose our best bartender.” He was going to lose her. “Shay’s out of her fucking mind.” He rounded on T.J. “And it’s all your fault.”

He ignored his friend’s frown of annoyance and scoped the room. “Where is he? I want to speak to him.”

“I dunno,” Travis answered. “Maybe he left. Everything was fine though. Glenn was apologetic. He didn’t realize she was new.”

“Well, he should’ve fucking realized.” Leo hoped to hell Glenn had gone home, otherwise the target of his frustrations would wish he’d never showed up tonight.

“Calm down,” T.J. muttered. “Travis took care of it.”

But what about Shay? Who was taking care of her?

Leo slumped back onto the bar stool. “Tonight was a total fuck up.”

“Why?” T.J. asked. “Couldn’t she hack it?”

“I thought she did a great job,” Travis added.

Leo glanced over his shoulder at T.J., not bothering to hide the vulnerability itching to break free. “No.” He shook his head. “It didn’t go well. I’m not sure if she’ll come back.” To the club, or back into his life. And after all the women who’d dismissed him due to his sexual proclivities, Shay’s rejection was by far the worst to take.

Shay fled up the staircase and rushed through the Shot of Sin dance crowd. Without a word to her bar staff, she snatched her handbag from the main bar storeroom and headed for the entrance of the club. She needed to blow this pop stand. Fast. Her chest was throbbing with regret, a sensation she was too familiar with but unfortunately couldn’t control because of her shitty temper.

It was her one downfall. She couldn’t hide her emotions. It was either blow up or tear up, and she fucking hated crying. But she would apologize. She always did. All she needed was a little time to ditch the fuzzy, blindsided sensation, then she’d make amends.

Once she sucked in a few deep breaths of clean, night air, she would calm down. The hope of relaxation almost had her running through the crowded entry hall to the lights illuminating the street outside.

“Leaving so soon?” Brute stepped away from the small group of females and blocked her path. His gaze narrowed, the slightest hint of concern narrowing his brows. “You look ticked.”

“I am ticked.” Deep breath. Deep breath. “You could’ve warned me.”

He shrugged a shoulder. “I did. I told you to stay away from Leo months ago. You didn’t listen.”

What? “Was tonight about proving a point?” Her eyes burned with humiliation. “Was Leo in on this?”

“No on both counts. Tonight was about filling in for Tracy. But I admit it was an added bonus that I didn’t have to spell out why the two of you aren’t compatible.”

Shay let out an angry breath. “Nice, Brute. Real nice.” She shook her head and stepped around him.

“I care about you. We all do.”

His admission made her halt. She kept her gaze on the street light beckoning her to flee. Defeat had firmly set in. She’d been humiliated, devalued and heartbroken, all in one night. And the worst part was the waning hold she had on her confidence.

“Believe me, Shay, if you two had any chance of being together, I’d be the first in line to give my congratulations. But it’s not going to happen. Leo doesn’t do normal. None of us do.”

She released a derisive laugh. “I never knew being normal was such a repulsive attribute. I suppose I should thank you for the reality check.” She turned to him with a raise brow and a fake smile. There was still no emotion to his features, no comforting smile, no pleading eyes. “Good night, Brute.”

She strode away, trying to rebuild her broken walls. This wasn’t the end of the world. It was only the death of an infatuation. It didn’t change the love she had for her job. It didn’t make her less of a person because she hadn’t experienced the joys of communal fucking. All she had to do was go home, pull on her big-girl panties and spend some time online looking at Gandy candy. Mr. David Gandy would fix everything. He always did.

The cool night air comforted her as she stepped outside, not bothering to acknowledge the bouncers standing at the door.

“You need an escort?” one of them called.

She shook her head, unable to speak. They usually made sure she reached her car safely, but she didn’t want the company tonight. The two-minute walk to the staff parking lot at the back of the building wasn’t going to kill her.

She needed to get home. And the sooner the better. The thin material of her figure-hugging top was making her skin crawl. Even the light breeze against her cheeks was beginning to make her whimper.

What a fucking disaster.

Turning the corner, she slowed her pace, needing to calm herself before sliding behind the wheel.

“Hey, miss.”

Her gaze snapped around at the deep voice. Oh, shit. It was the guy from Vault of Sin, the one who’d thought she was God’s gift to masturbation. She ignored him and increased her pace. Adrenaline spurred her faster, her legs almost breaking into a run.

“I just want to talk.”

In a darkened parking lot? In the early hours of the morning? After jerking off in front of her? No thanks. “I’m not interested,” she called, palming her keys.

Turning the far corner of the building, she chanced another glance over her shoulder and stumbled across the loose asphalt. Her bag slid from her shoulder, falling to the ground, and the spike of fear almost had her doubling over.

With a squeal, she yanked the handbag strap from the ground and began to run to her car. She fumbled with the button in her hand, finally unlocking the doors as she reached for the handle. He was right behind her, she could feel it. Her senses were on red alert, waiting for a rough hand to grab her.

She yanked the door open, jumped inside and pressed the lock as fast as she could. Her hands shook trying to get the key in the ignition, and she almost sobbed in relief when they slid into place. Without pause, she gunned the engine, yanked her gearstick into reverse and floored it.

God help anyone behind me.

As she pulled out, she caught the shadow of the man standing at the corner of the building, one hand raised, asking her to stop. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t right behind her, but he had more chance getting a blowjob from one of the alley cats than he did of her hitting the brakes.

Buh bye, asshole.

She watched him jog after her car from the rear-view mirror, following her to the front of the building. Pressing harder on the accelerator, she pulled onto the road, thankful there was no oncoming traffic.

Two blocks down the road, she was still breathing heavy, her heart gradually descending from her throat. What a douche. Mr. Masturbator was the perfect ending to an equally perfect day. There wasn’t a hope in hell she would sleep tonight, or the rest of the week for that matter. She would dread seeing Leo on Tuesday when she worked the lunch shift at the Taste of Sin restaurant. Even if she did regain her confidence, it would take a lot of effort to hide her wounded pride.

Flicking on her indicator, she pulled to a stop at the traffic lights and inwardly cursed her stupidity. If only she’d kept her mouth shut. Leo wasn’t a jerk, he’d probably had no intention of sleeping with anyone tonight…until she’d overreacted and driven him to it. And who knew, in the light of day she might’ve been able to understand what the whole sex-club thing was about.

She wasn’t a prude. Her mind was as open as a hooker’s thighs. He’d shocked her, that’s all. She’d never seen him with another woman, and having the mental image of him diddling the masses was heart shattering.

“Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.”

She blinked back the sting in her eyes and winced when the lights from a car behind her entered her rear-vision mirror. They flashed their high beams and she glanced up to confirm the traffic lights hadn’t changed.

“Nope,” she muttered. “What’s your problem?”

Focusing back on her mirror, her skin prickled as she zeroed in on the car behind her. No way. It was the guy from the parking lot. He’d followed her.

“Son of a bitch.”

He opened his car door and her heart stopped in fear. She had no intention of sticking around. She checked for traffic and then turned through the red light, reaching for her bag as she pulled onto the main road. He was going to follow her home and then rape and murder her. Holy shit, she was going to die. She riffled through her bag for her phone and unlocked the screen as she drove. Calling Leo wasn’t an option. He already thought she was weak, and she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of rubbing it in. Instead, she clicked on T.J.’s contact and bit her lip as the phone rang.

“Hey, Shay, what’s up?”

Flashing lights glared at her through the rear-view mirror, and she whimpered. “Please help me. A guy from the club came after me in the parking lot. He’s following me home. I don’t know what to do.”

“Baby, calm down.” Concern laced his words. “Where are you?”

“I’m a few blocks from work, on Warrigal Road, heading toward the city.”

“Can you turn around and come back?”

She shook her head and puffed out an anxious breath. “I don’t want to take a side street and risk him running me off the road. Please, T.J. I don’t know what to do.”

“Don’t worry, I’m coming after you. Stay on the main road and slow down so I can catch up. But don’t stop. I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Okay.” Her voice waivered. She lifted her foot off the accelerator, slowing the car well below the speed limit. The guy behind her continued to flash his lights, his arm now waving out the window, his finger pointing to the side of the road.

This was karma. She’d been a raging bitch to Leo, and now she was paying the price. Either her stalker was going to ram into her car and drag her out the door, or she’d have a heart attack while she waited.

Chill. She sucked in a shaky breath, let it out slowly and turned on the radio. The lethargic, early morning music did nothing to soothe her. All she could do was continue to hyperventilate and wait.

As she reached a give-way sign, a horn blasted, startling her. A car sped up beside her on the wrong side of the road, and Leo’s face stared at her from the passenger window. Shit. She didn’t know if she should be relieved or more frightened from the heat in his eyes.