A Sister's Secret (19 page)

“That’s not true,” Grace was quick to say. “I’m sure he’ll write you letters and come visit whenever he can.”

Anna’s lower lip quivered. More tears flooded her eyes. The sorrow Grace saw on the child’s face tore at her heartstrings, but she didn’t know what she could say or do to make things better—for her or Anna.

Mom stood and reached for Anna’s hand. “Why don’t we go out to the kitchen for some cookies and milk? Does that sound good to you?”

“Got any chocolate ones?” the child asked with a hopeful expression. It was the first indication that she might calm down, and for that Grace felt some relief.

“I have chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies,” Mom said with a smile.

Anna sniffed and quietly nodded.

Mom touched Grace’s shoulder, and Grace found a measure of comfort in the gesture. “If we put our trust in God, He will see us through this, just as He helped us through those acts of vandalism awhile back.”

As soon as Mom and Anna left the room, Grace turned to face her father, her stomach lurching with nervous anticipation. “I’m sorry for keeping the truth from you. I know how disappointed you must be in me.”

“You’re right, I am disappointed and feeling more than a little
verhuddelt
right now.”

“We’re all confused. Anna most of all.”

His gave a short nod and then headed for the door. “Luke’s gone for the day, but I’m going back to work for a while.” He rushed out of the house.

***

“You’ve been awful quiet since we left town,” Martha commented to Ruth as their horse and buggy rounded the bend a short distance from home.

“I’ve just been thinking, is all.”

“What about?”

“Luke. He’s been acting awful strange for a couple of months, and as time passes, he seems more tense and sometimes unfriendly toward me. It makes me wonder if he wants to break up with me, but I haven’t had the nerve to ask.”

Martha clicked her tongue and shook the reins to get the horse moving faster. Her stomach had been growling for the last couple of miles, and she was anxious to get home and eat supper. “If Luke were my boyfriend, I’d ask him why he’s been acting so peculiar. If he really cares about you, he should be willing to share whatever’s on his mind.”

Ruth sighed. “I’ve tried talking to him about his strange behavior a couple of times, but he always changes the subject.”

As they pulled into their yard, Martha was glad to see her mother’s buggy parked near the barn. She was probably getting the evening meal started. Martha’s stomach rumbled again, as she thought about the good food they’d soon be having.

“I’ll help you put the horse away,” Ruth offered. “That way we can get into the house quicker and help Mom and Grace get supper on the table.”

“Danki, I appreciate that.”

After the horse had been rubbed down and put into his stall, Martha and Ruth headed for the house. When they opened the back door, Martha was disappointed that no tantalizing aromas greeted them. “Guess Grace and Mom must not be at home after all,” she said. “Otherwise we’d smell something.”

“Maybe we’re having cold sandwiches tonight,” Ruth commented.

“Jah, maybe so.”

When they stepped into the kitchen a few seconds later, Martha was surprised at the sight. Mom sat at the table with a young English girl. They each had glasses of milk, and the child nibbled on a cookie.

“Wie geht’s?” Martha called to their mother. “Who’s your little friend?”

Mom looked up and smiled, but the child kept eating, only giving Martha and Ruth a quick glance. “This is Anna, and she’s going to be staying with us.”

“Just ’til Poppy comes back,” the child said around a mouthful of cookie.

Martha looked at Ruth, who merely shrugged. She turned back to Mom. “Who’s Poppy, and where’s Anna from? Don’t think I’ve ever met her before.”

Mom nodded toward the door leading to the hallway. “Grace is in the living room with your daed. It might be best if you let her explain.”

Chapter 19

As Cleon headed down the road toward the Hostettlers’, he glanced over at the cardboard box sitting on the seat beside him. Inside were six jars of clover honey. He’d had some extra this week and wanted to share it with his in-laws as a thank you for letting him and Grace stay with them while their house was being finished.

A horn blared behind Cleon’s buggy. He looked over his shoulder and noticed several cars behind him, so he guided his horse to the shoulder of the road to let them pass. As soon as the cars went by, he pulled onto the highway again and let the horse trot for a bit.

“If only things could stay nice and calm,” Cleon murmured, thinking about the Hostettlers again. He was glad they hadn’t had any more problems at their place, and he hoped the troublemaker who had destroyed some of their property and stolen Roman’s things never struck again.

A short time later, Cleon pulled up to Roman’s barn, hopped down, and tied his horse to the hitching rail. Then he reached into the buggy, grabbed the box full of honey, and headed to the back of their house. When he stepped into the kitchen a few minutes later, he spotted Judith sitting at the table with a little English girl.

“I brought you some honey,” he said, nodding at the box in his arms.

“That was ... uh ... real nice of you.” Judith glanced over her shoulder and cleared her throat a couple of times.

He placed the box on the counter nearest the door. “Didn’t realize you had company. There was no car in the driveway.”

“No ... uh...” Judith’s forehead wrinkled. “I think you need to speak with Grace.”

Cleon couldn’t imagine why he would need to talk to Grace about why there wasn’t a car in the driveway, but eager to be with his wife, he nodded. “Where is she?”

“In the living room.”

“Okay.” Cleon smiled at the young girl sitting at the table, but she never made eye contact with him. He left the room wondering why Judith was acting so strangely.

***

“I wish you would have told us this sooner,” Ruth said, reaching over to take Grace’s hand. Grace had just informed her sisters about her marriage to Wade and how she’d allowed her in-laws to take her baby girl.

Martha nodded. “We could have helped you through this, sister.”

Tears welled in Grace’s eyes. “I know how strongly Mom has always felt about having children, and I was afraid if she knew I had allowed someone else to raise my child, she wouldn’t have understood. I was ashamed of what I’d done and thought if no one knew my secret it would be easier to deal with the guilt.” She sniffed. “The way Dad reacted to my news only confirms what I suspected. He’s still hurting over his sister leaving home when she was a young woman, and he’s upset with me now, too.”

“I really believe it would have been easier for you to deal with things if you’d had the support of your family,” Ruth said.

Grace swallowed hard. “I’m not so sure. You should have seen how upset Dad was with me. I think he and Mom feel that I’ve cheated them out of knowing the granddaughter they should have met long before now.” She drew in a quick breath. “I cheated myself—and Anna, too. Now my little girl sees me as a stranger, and I don’t know if anything will ever be right for any of us again.”

“You need to give your daughter some time to adjust. We’ll help in any way we can. Isn’t that right?” Martha asked, turning to Ruth, who sat between them.

Ruth nodded. “Of course we will.”

“I’m not sure....” Grace forced herself to complete her thought. “I’m not sure what I’ve done will be overlooked by the ministers or anyone else in our community.”

“But you weren’t a member of the church when you went through rumschpringe and married an Englishman, so you won’t be shunned,” Martha reminded.

“That’s right,” Ruth agreed. “You were legally married, your husband died, and you returned home and joined the Amish church.”

“But I gave away my daughter and kept my previous marriage a secret. If I can’t forgive myself, how can I expect others to accept what I’ve done?” Grace released a deep moan. “And what of Cleon? How’s he going to take the news when I tell him the secret I’ve been keeping?”

“What secret is that, Grace?”

Grace jumped at the sound of her husband’s voice, and when he strolled into the room, her heart almost stopped beating. “Cleon. I—I didn’t know you were home.”

“I came in the back door and stopped in the kitchen to give your mamm some honey. She said you were in here.”

Grace’s throat felt so swollen she could barely swallow. Had Cleon met Anna? Had Mom told him the whole story? Was that why he looked so befuddled?

Ruth stood and reached for Martha’s hand. “I think we should get out to the kitchen and help Mom with supper, don’t you?”

“Jah, sure.” Martha glanced over her shoulder and offered Grace a reassuring smile. Then both sisters exited the room.

As soon as they were gone, Cleon took a seat on the sofa beside Grace. “There was a little English girl sitting at the kitchen table, but I didn’t recognize her as one of your neighbors.”

“Didn’t Mom introduce you?”

He shook his head.

“Then I guess I need to explain.”

“Explain what? Is she a friend of your family?”

“No, uh—”

“Where are her parents?”

Grace squeezed her eyes shut, praying that the right words would come. When she opened them again, Cleon was looking at her in a most disconcerting way.

“What’s wrong, Grace? You look so unsettled.”

“The little girl’s name is Anna,” she said in a near whisper. “I–I’m her mother.”

Cleon sat with his forehead wrinkled. “What was that?”

“Anna’s my daughter.”

“Are you joking?”

She shook her head as tears threatened to escape. Her heart thumped furiously.

“I don’t understand. How can that English girl be your daughter?”

“When I was going through my rumschpringe, before your family came to Holmes County, I moved to Cincinnati with some other Amish girls who wanted to try out the English world for a while. During the time we were living there, I worked as a waitress in a restaurant, and I ... well, I dated an English fellow.” She gulped in some air. “It was that reporter who was in town for a while, asking questions so he could write stories about our people.”

“You ... you married the reporter?” Cleon’s face blanched, and his voice raised a notch.

Grace shook her head vigorously. “I finally broke up with him because he had a temper and acted like he owned me.”

“Then who’s the
daadi
of the little girl in the kitchen?”

“Wade Davis. He was one of Gary Walker’s friends, and the two of us started dating soon after I broke up with Gary.”

“So you married this Wade fellow?”

She nodded, unable to speak around the lump in her throat.

“Did your folks know about this?”

Grace shook her head. “I never told any of my family where I was during that time or that I’d gotten married and had a baby.” She paused long enough to gauge Cleon’s reaction. He sat stony-faced and unmoving. “A year later, Anna was born, and six months after that, my husband was killed in a car accident.”

A muscle on the side of Cleon’s face quivered. “Where’s your daughter been all this time?”

“When Wade died, his parents came to the funeral, and the next day they took Anna away to live with them.” Grace’s voice trembled. “Bonnie, Wade’s mother, said I was an unfit mother, and she threatened to hire a lawyer and take Anna from me if I didn’t agree to let them raise her.” She drew in another quick breath. “Bonnie insisted that she and Carl could give Anna a better life.”

Cleon’s eyebrows lifted high on his forehead. “So you gave up your child because your husband’s parents said they wanted her?”

She sniffed and swiped at the tears coursing down her cheeks. “I was confused and afraid I wouldn’t be able to support Anna. I was afraid my folks wouldn’t understand or accept me back if I had a child.”

“And your daughter’s been living in Cincinnati all this time?”

Grace shook her head. “Wade’s folks lived in Michigan at the time, and soon after they took Anna, I changed my mind about letting them have her. I wanted to take my little girl and go home, hoping my folks would accept me back and help raise her.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I tried to contact Wade’s folks, but their phone had been disconnected. The letters I wrote came back with a stamp that said they’d moved and there was no forwarding address.”

“Then what did you do?”

“I moved back home but was too ashamed and too frightened of my family’s reaction to admit what I’d done, so I kept the secret from everyone.”

He gave a quick nod. “Including me—the man you’re supposed to love and trust.”

“I was afraid if I told you the truth you wouldn’t understand and might not marry me.”

“I thought our relationship was built on trust.” He stared at the floor, slowly shaking his head. “I was sure wrong about that.”