A Soldier's Return (17 page)

Then they separated to remove the rest of the bothersome clothes before they fell to the mattress, reaching for each other. After several minutes of touching, kissing, stroking, Carrie pulled back. “Jim, I should—”

“Don’t worry, honey. A good marine is always prepared.” He found his pants and pulled out a condom. Then he rejoined Carrie, pulling her back into his arms.

She’d intended to warn him, but that warning was unnecessary a few minutes later when he tried to enter her. She tensed, but her words and body urged him to make them one. As he did, he looked at her. “You were a virgin?” he demanded, surprise and concern mingling in his voice.

“Am I not doing it right?” she cried out, eager to have him continue.

He attempted to pull out, but she pleaded with him not to go. With a sigh, he pushed farther and began a rocking movement, his arms around her, his kisses making her more eager than ever. They both experienced completion at the same time.

Carrie clung to Jim, wanting to say so many things, but she couldn’t get anything out. A boneless lassitude came over her and she curled up against him. As she
drifted off to sleep, she held on to him, thanking her stars that the real thing was better than any fantasy.

J
IM WATCHED
the woman asleep in his arms. He couldn’t believe this was her first time with a man. Nor could he help rejoicing that he was her first. And he had every intention of being her last. In the morning they’d talk and maybe make love again.

The thought of always having Carrie beside him was wonderful.

Tomorrow he’d buy her a ring, he told himself as he fell asleep. Everything would work out tomorrow.

But tomorrow dawned quite differently than what he’d expected.

He woke slowly and kissed the top of Carrie’s head, which was once again resting on his shoulder, thinking that he’d slept better than he could ever remember. But then his eyes lit on the clock on the nightstand—7:15 a.m. The time pierced his brain like a sharp sword. Their flight left in forty-five minutes.

“Carrie!” His cry roused her immediately. “We’ve got to get to the airport. Hurry.”

He jumped out of bed and began searching the floor for the clothing he’d haphazardly discarded the night before. As he did, he glanced up at Carrie, who sat there with the sheet up to her neck. “We’ve got to hurry. Just slip into your clothes from last night. I’ll help you pack.”

His sense of urgency penetrated her head and she did as he said, even though she longed for a shower. They were dressed in five minutes, took another five to pack, then they hurried to the lobby to pay their bill.

“The airport is only ten minutes away, sir,” the clerk said as she waved to one of the bellboys. “Go get a cab ready for Mr. and Mrs. Barlow, please.”

They got to the airport fifteen minutes before their flight was to leave. Sympathetic passengers let them go ahead of them in the security line. Then they ran down the hallway to the gate.

“You just barely made it,” the attendant said in a sharp voice. “We’re ready to push away from the gate.”

“We overslept,” Jim said with a smile that eased the severity of her frown.

Once they were on the plane, Carrie snapped on her seat belt and then thought about what had happened. They’d made love last night. At least it had been love on her part. She couldn’t remember Jim saying that he loved her. Or talking about the future.

Maybe he’d been so horrified to find out she was inexperienced, he had no interest in the future. Should she promise to get better? No, that would sound too much like begging. Besides, she refused to discuss her private life on an airplane. She immediately closed her eyes, determined to pretend to sleep all the way back to Dallas.

Somewhere within two minutes she stopped pretending and actually fell asleep.

Jim got a pillow from the stewardess and propped it behind Carrie’s head against the window. Then he spent a lot of time just staring at her. He’d promised himself they’d talk this morning, but oversleeping had ruined his plans.

Once they were home they’d talk.

A little over two hours later, the plane landed in Dallas. Carrie still slept. After the passengers around them
had filed out, he woke her. “Carrie, we’re in Dallas. Come on, honey, let’s go home.”

She opened her eyes and began to gather her purse, then her overhead luggage, to exit the plane. Jim followed her, eager to get her home, where they could be alone.

As they came out of the airport, Will called to them.

“What are you doing here, Will?” Jim asked, frowning.

“We’re having a Sunday family luncheon to celebrate your success. We can’t wait to tomorrow to hear the details. Carrie, come ride with me so you can tell me all about it.”

Carrie agreed, without looking at Jim.

The two of them walked off, leaving Jim standing there alone.

He drove as fast as he could and it looked like he got there first, because Will’s car wasn’t there. Rushing into the house, he said, “I got here before Will and Carrie, I guess. I’m sure they’ll be here any minute,” he said to Vanessa, who’d let him in.

“Actually, no. He took Carrie to her apartment so she could take a shower and change clothes. They’ll be here in about half an hour.”

Jim stared at her, a crazed look in his eyes.

“Is something wrong?” Vanessa asked.

“Yes! No! I don’t know!”

“Jim, what’s wrong?”

He stared at her blankly. Then he suddenly said, “I need to talk to you.”

“Well, of course. Rebecca and Jeff and the kids are here. We’re visiting in the—”

“No! I mean, maybe Rebecca, but I can’t— This is private!”

“Go to the library and I’ll go get Rebecca. We’ll both come help you.”

After asking Rebecca to come with her to the kitchen, she redirected her older sister into the library. “Jim is behaving very strangely.”

The two young women came in to the library to find their brother pacing back and forth.

“Jim, what’s wrong?” Rebecca asked.

“I—I think I did something wrong.”

“What?” Vanessa demanded. She was becoming a little impatient with her brother.

“Carrie and I made love last night.”

Vanessa squealed and clapped her hands together. “How wonderful.”

Jim glared at her. “Is it?”

“Isn’t it?” Rebecca asked.

“I don’t know. We talked about being lovers but—but I don’t think I told her I love her. Do you think she understood?”

“Did you talk at all?” Rebecca asked.

“Yeah. I left the decision up to her. I thought she wasn’t ready yet but she said she was.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Vanessa asked.

Jim started pacing again.

“You’re driving us crazy, Jim,” Vanessa said. “Just tell us what the problem is.”

“It was her first time,” he muttered.

Total silence followed his words.

“Oh, my,” Vanessa said with a sigh. “Did you talk after?”

“No. She fell asleep almost at once. I told myself we’d talk this morning.”

“And did you?” Rebecca asked, a little bit of sternness in her voice.

“I couldn’t. We overslept and almost didn’t catch our plane.”

“What are you going to do?” Vanessa asked.

“I don’t know. I told myself we’d talk when we got back to the apartments, but then Will met us at the airport and kidnapped her. I don’t know what to do.”

“It’s possible she may not come to lunch. It’s even possible she’ll resign her job,” Rebecca said.

“No! She can’t. I won’t allow her to do that!”

“Jim,” Rebecca said quietly, “who told you you were in control?”

“I did. I’m going over to the apartments. Call Will and tell him I’m coming, that I have to have a few minutes with Carrie alone.”

He was out the door before either sister could say anything.

W
ILL OPENED
the door to Carrie’s apartment when Jim knocked softly. “I’m glad you’re here,” he said. “What’s going on?”

“Did she say something?”

“Only that she was quitting. What happened in Vegas?”

“She’s not resigning. It’s a misunderstanding, that’s all. Let me talk to her alone. Then we’ll come to lunch.”

“Are you sure? I told her I wouldn’t accept her resignation, and she started crying.”

Jim heard the pain in Will’s voice. “I promise you Will. If anyone leaves, it will be me, not Carrie. But I hope I can convince her to let both of us stay.”

“All right. I’ll trust you to do what’s best for Carrie,” Will said, though there was a hint of a question in his words.

Jim didn’t dare try to explain to Will because the older man might slug him. But Carrie had agreed that it was what she wanted. He just wasn’t sure she still felt that way.

“I’ll let you know as soon as I can.”

After Will left, he sat down on the sofa and waited, though he would’ve preferred to join Carrie in the shower. He promised himself he’d do that one day, but they had to talk before they did anything like that again.

A few minutes later Carrie stepped into the living room, her hair blown dry, and wearing a pair of pants and sweater. She moved into the kitchen and put on water for hot tea.

“Are you all right?”

She whipped around, spilling water out of the kettle. “Oh! You—you scared me.”

He stood and walked into the kitchen. Gently he asked, “Did I scare you last night?”

“No, I wasn’t scared last night.”

The words should’ve pleased him, but she dropped her gaze.

“Then why won’t you look at me?”

“I think you’d better go to Will and Vivian’s for lunch. They’re waiting on you.”

“Aren’t you going?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

She squared her shoulders and drew a deep breath. “Because I’m leaving the firm. It would be too awkward for us.”

“I won’t allow it!”

“It’s not your decision!” she protested.

He stepped closer. “Why would you do such a thing?”

She turned her back. “I made a mistake.”

“What mistake?”

There was a longer silence this time, and she didn’t turn around to face him. But he waited her out.

“I—I thought I could be your lover and it wouldn’t change anything. But I was wrong.”

“Did Will convince you of that?”

“No. We didn’t discuss my reasons.”

“Good. Because I’m pretty sure you’re wrong. You see, you fell asleep last night before we could talk. And this morning we overslept and didn’t have time. But I don’t think I can work with you and Will
without
my being your lover.” He reached for her shoulders and gently turned her around to face him. With his thumb he caught one of the tears rolling down her face. “You see, I want to be your husband as well as your lover.”

If he’d thought she would immediately be transported into ecstasy, he was mistaken.

“That’s not necessary!”

He frowned. “I’m missing something here. Ah, I forgot to say the three little words I should’ve said last night. But I got distracted. I love you, Carrie.”

Still no happiness. The tears started coming much faster than before.

She shook her head, sobbing, while she tried to answer him.

Taking a tissue from the counter, he started mopping up her cheeks. “Wait until you stop crying, honey, ’cause I can’t understand you right now.”

“I said you d-don’t have to say that.”

The sadness in her voice almost broke his heart. “Yes, I do, because it’s the truth. I thought you understood last night that I love you, but I guess I should’ve spelled it out.”

“But you don’t now!”

“Why don’t I?”

“Be—because I was…inexperienced!”

He cradled her against him. “I wish I could say there was no one before you, but it’s not true. But I wish it was. Making love to you was the sweetest thing I’ve ever done. However, if I’d known before, I would’ve waited until our wedding night. At least I hope I would’ve.”

“R-really?” she asked, hiccupping.

“Really. I love you with all my heart. I hesitated in the beginning because I thought I was a jinx.”

“I know. Vanessa told me.”

“Ah. My little sister has been busy. But I’ll forgive her since she tried to set us up at her party.”

“No, she wanted you to meet someone—”

“And I did. I met you, again. And held you in my arms. And kissed you.”

“But you regretted it.”

“No, I just made up an excuse. That kiss stayed on
my mind for several days, until we got to Vegas and I got to kiss you again.”

He leaned in and was about to kiss her when the phone rang.

“I bet that’s Will. We’re going to have to go over there, you know, even though I’d prefer to go to bed.” He moved to the phone and answered it.

“Well? Have you convinced her?” Will asked him.

Jim turned to Carrie and said, “Will wants to know if I convinced you. What shall I tell him?”

“Tell him yes and we’re on our way,” she said, smiling.

“Yeah,” he said into the phone. He listened for a moment. “Yeah, in a couple of minutes.”

When he turned around and took her in his arms, she asked, “Didn’t you tell Will we were on our way?”

“Yep. And we are. Just as soon as I kiss you again.”

She had no objections to those plans.