A Special Relationship (12 page)

 
“Carrie is more like a nickname.
 
My middle name is Caroline.
 
Thus Carrie.
 
I’ll tell you my full name if you promise not to laugh.”

 
Robert almost laughed as soon as she said that.
 
He went from having dinner with one of the most successful females in Jacksonville, not to mention one of the most desirable women period, to sitting in his office playing
cross my heart and hope to die
games with a former head cashier who was comfortable enough in her own skin to not be intimidated by him.
 
And he was too intrigued with her to not play along.
 
“I promise,” he said.

 
“Okay.
 
My name is, never to be repeated again, Sojourner Caroline Banks.
 
That’s my real, full name.”

 
Robert smiled.
 
“Sojourner?”

 
Carrie sat up and hit him playfully on his arm.
 
“You said you wouldn’t laugh,” she said.

 
“I didn’t laugh.”

 
“You smiled.”

 
“That’s not laughing.”

 
Carrie smiled too and leaned back against the sofa.
 
Only this time Robert found himself moving closer against her.
 

 
“Yep,” she said, “that’s what my mama named me.
 
Sojourner Banks.
 
After Sojourner Truth.
 
The liberator.
 
She helped to free the slaves, you know.”
  
 
Robert smiled.
 
“Yes, I know.”

 
“So,” she said, “what do you think?”

 
Robert swallowed hard.
 
“I think you should be proud of your name, Sojourner,” he said.

 
Carrie hesitated.
 
That name she hated all her life suddenly sounded sweet when Robert spoke it.
 
“Maybe one day I will,” she said.

 
There was a long pause, as both Robert and Carrie could feel the heat rising between them.
 
But Carrie just wanted the closeness, she knew she wasn’t about to go any further than this.
 
She, in fact, was amazed that she’d gone this far.
 
But there was something so decent about Robert Kincaid, so spiritual about the man, that she felt completely safe with him.

 
Robert leaned his head back on the sofa and closed his eyes.
 
He was tired, it had been a long day, but he was also fighting a powerful urge to pull Carrie into his arms.
 
He’d never in his life experienced such a strong tug of emotion just by being with someone, especially someone he hardly even knew.
 
But that was exactly what he was feeling with Carrie.
 
Even her smell, which was a combination of soap and some cheap perfume, had him wanting her.
 
Wanting her
?
he
said to himself.
 
What in the world was he going to do with her if he got her?
 
Then he shook his head.
 
First Tyler breaks up with him, now this.
 
There must be a full moon tonight, he thought.

 
“So you don’t think Sojourner is a silly name?” she asked him.

 
“Of course not,” he said, his eyes still closed, his heart thumping just at the sound of her soft, sweet voice.

 
“My mama picked out that name for me herself.”

 
“Your mother sounds like a very sharp lady.”

 
Carrie laughed.
 
“She used to be.
 
Before my daddy put a whipping on her.”

 
Robert opened his eyes and looked at Carrie, causing her to turn her face up to him.
 
“He beat her?” he asked her.

 
“Not physically, no.
  
My mama wouldn’t allow
no
man to be hitting on her, trust me.
 
I mean an emotional whipping.
 
He cheated on her and lied to her and broke her heart.
 
Now she’s real bitter about him and her life in general and why she had to have a stroke when she was in the prime of her life and she just refuses to be comforted.
 
She has wounds that need to be healed, but they won’t heal because she won’t stop feeling the pain.”

 
Robert hesitated.
 
“It’s not easy to stop feeling pain, Carrie,” he said.

 
“I didn’t say it was easy.
 
But you have to make a start.”

 
Robert stared into her eyes.
 
God, she was beautiful, he thought, and so very perceptive.
 
But knowing what to do, and doing it,
were
two different things.
 
She needed to live a little longer, he decided,
then
she’ll change her tune too.
 

 
He leaned his head back and closed his eyes again.
 
He also found himself, almost as if he couldn’t help himself, putting his arm around her.
 
She snuggled against him, which was what he wanted, and he had to ramp down a sudden and powerful urge to kiss her.
 
That was why he kept his eyes closed.

 
“Are you originally from Jacksonville?” she asked him.

 
“No,” he said.
 
“Maryland.”

 
“Maryland?
 
Goodness.
 
You’re a long way from home.”

 
In more ways than one, he thought.

 
“Are you married?” Carrie asked this slowly, but she just had to know.
 
What she didn’t know, however, was that she had just asked the absolute wrong question.

 
Robert opened his eyes and then moved quickly to get on his feet.
 

 
“What’s the matter?” she asked him, stunned by his sudden movement.

 
“I’d better get to work,” he said.
 

 
Carrie felt confused as she stood up too.
 
“I don’t understand—”

 
“Nothing to understand, I promise you.
 
I just realized why I came up here in the first place.
 
I’ve got a ton of work to do.”

 
Carrie just stood there, horrified that she’d said something wrong.
 
Robert’s heart ached watching her, and he wanted to reassure her, to make it clear that his apprehension had nothing whatsoever to do with her, but he didn’t do it.
 
It would be better if she believed him to be the uncaring fink he was, he decided.

 
“It was nice meeting you, Carrie,” he said as he began heading for his office door, to let her out.

 
Carrie nervously followed him.
 
She felt a little disjointed by this abrupt ending, and she couldn’t help but wonder why it had to end like this.
 
But he seemed so different now, so determined to get her out of his
way, that
she didn’t even attempt to question the change.

 
“Goodnight,” she said with a forced but cheerful smile and wave when it was apparent to her that he wasn’t even going to shake her hand.
 

 
“Goodbye, Carrie,” Robert replied, and without watching her leave, or offering her an experienced word of caution about men like Willie Charles, he closed his door behind her.

Ten minutes later, after he had rounded up his paperwork and should have headed for home, he couldn’t seem to get a move on. He couldn’t stop thinking about Carrie.
 
Her big, innocent green eyes still haunted him.
 
And when the thought of how Willie Charles had terrified her still riled him, still angered him, he pressed the intercom button for the guard station downstairs.
 
“Hank?”

 
“Yes, sir, Mr. Kincaid,” the strong, clear voice of the building’s security guard chimed on.
 

 
“Find Willie Payton and bring him to my office.”

 
The Guard did not hesitate or question the request in any way.
 
“Yes, sir, Mr. Kincaid,” he replied.

EIGHT

Tired wasn’t the word by the time Carrie sat down on the city bus.
 
She was exhausted.
 
She’d waited nearly an hour for the bus to arrive, and during that entire time she was terrified that Willie Charles would see her and try to come after her again.
 
Now that she was safely away from the Dyson building and everything (and everybody) associated with that building, she was just beginning to feel relieved.
  
She was also, however, beginning to feel very disappointed.
 
This was supposed to be the job opportunity that would launch her life.
 
This was supposed to be the springboard to her independence.
 
But now she was unemployed again, with little money left from the paycheck she received before she left Georgia, and all of her once high hopes seemed dashed beneath her feet.
 

 
The bus rolled on in stops and starts and she looked out of the window at busy downtown Jacksonville.
 
So beautiful it was at night, she thought.
 
So serene.
 
People
who lived in their fancy condominiums along the river, people who worked in the fancy office buildings along the strip, all coming and going and living out the American dream as if it was their birthright.
 
They tossed around a hundred dollar bill on one night out, when Carrie didn’t even know where her next meal was coming from.

 
She thought she could rely on Popena.
 
She thought her big sister would have her back until she could get on her feet and make her own way.
 
But Popena was still bitter, still nursing the wounds from her own hard life, and she had no ability to prop up a kid sister.

 
Carrie leaned her head back and tried hard not to think any more about her life, or Popena, or what in the world was she going to do next.
 
It was easy, at first, because she couldn’t stop thinking about Robert.
 
Robert Kincaid.
 
The stranger who had held her in his big arms.
 
If there was ever anybody nicer than that man, she’d like to see him.
 
And talk about good looking.
 
His cool good looks made her want to swoon.
 
And although everything about him reeked of authority and snobbishness, there was still something very good and decent about him, she felt, as if he was somebody who’d stay in her corner.
 
It was laughable, she knew, given that she didn’t even really know the man, but that was how she felt.
 

 
Carrie also felt, however, that she couldn’t count on Robert Kincaid or anybody or anything else she had no control over.
 
She had to find a job.
 
That was her immediate concern.
 
She therefore began to concentrate on her strategy, on how she was going to search the want ads first thing tomorrow morning; how she was going to visit hotels and motels, office buildings and grocery stores, and every fast food place in town until somebody, somewhere offered her employment.
 
Although Popena had let her down, and her mother and Dale and everybody else had disturbed her sense of triumph, she knew the Lord would stand with her.
 
She therefore decided, as the bus headed out of downtown toward the eastside, to her side, to stop being so driven by faithlessness and put her hopes in Him.