A Step In Time (30 page)

Together we went into the kitchen and Natasha went in search of wine.

‘You’ve done an amazing thing,’ she said, opening the fridge and pulling out a bottle.

‘We thought Donnie might still be alive,’ I admitted. ‘At least, that’s what I hoped. I sort of thought we could bring them back together, they’d have a blazing row, and then they could get on with their lives.’

‘Like you and Matty,’ Natasha said, casually.

‘Oh, I know that tone,’ I said, giving her a grin. ‘You may work for one of those posh mags, but you’re still a hack at heart.’

Natasha laughed loudly.

‘Busted,’ she said. ‘I pretend not to be interested but who doesn’t bookmark the
PostOnline
?’

I opened the cupboard to get out some glasses.

‘That’s the trouble,’ I said. ‘Everyone reads it even if they pretend they don’t – and that’s why everyone knew everything about me and Matty.’

‘Is it really over between you two?’ Natasha said. ‘This time I promise I’m asking as a friend and not a journalist.’

She pulled the cork out of the bottle with a pop, and began pouring wine into the glasses.

‘It’s really over,’ I said, taking the glass she handed me. ‘It was over the moment I punched that poor girl in the nose.’

Natasha made a face.

‘That wasn’t one of your best decisions,’ she said.

‘Do you know what, though?’ I said, leaning against Cora’s work surface. ‘It’s all worked out fine. If I’d not punched Kayleigh I wouldn’t have been sacked, and if I’d not been sacked, I’d not have got on
Strictly Stars Dancing
. Or met your gran. Or …’

I paused, not wanting to mention Patrick. Of course it was too late. Natasha was there already.

‘Or met your dance partner,’ she said. ‘What’s his name?’

‘Patrick,’ I said, staring into my glass. ‘His name’s Patrick.’

Natasha squealed in a way that did not suit her elegant appearance.

‘You fancy him,’ she said.

‘Do not.’

‘Oh, you do. Look at that blush.’

‘Stop it,’ I said. ‘It’s not happening. Let’s not talk about it.’

I picked up the bottle of wine and a glass for Cora, and took it into the front room. Natasha followed.

‘Amy fancies her dance partner,’ she announced. ‘Patrick.’

‘Natasha,’ I protested.

Cora looked interested.

‘Still?’ she said. ‘Lots of people fancy their partners to begin with but then they find the attraction wanes after a while.’

‘It’s not waning,’ I said. ‘It’s the opposite, actually, whatever that is.’

‘Waxing,’ said Ginny helpfully.

I stared at her, not understanding.

‘It’s the opposite of waxing.’

‘Oh,’ I said, still a bit bemused by Ginny altogether. ‘Yes, then in that case, my attraction to Patrick is waxing.’

‘I knew it,’ said Natasha.

‘It was him, you know, who found Donnie and tracked down his family,’ I said. ‘He said he could understand why Cora needed to know what had happened, even after all this time.’

Ginny looked approving.

‘Empathy,’ she said, nodding. ‘That’s a good character trait to have. What does he look like, this Patrick?’

Natasha found a photo on her phone and showed her mum, who breathed in sharply through pursed lips.

‘Wowsers,’ she said. ‘Look at that chest.’

I scowled at her.

‘You’re not helping,’ I said.

Natasha laughed again.

‘So, he’s kind and ripped,’ she said. ‘What else?’

‘He’s funny,’ I said. ‘I’m not always very good at laughing at myself but he sort of makes the world funnier. And he believes in me. He’s been encouraging me to be firmer with my agent and get her to find me some auditions and she has. I’d never have done that without him on my side. I feel stronger now because I’ve met him. And I think I’m a better person because he taught me how to dance …’

I trailed off, realising I’d unconsciously echoed what Matty said about me in
Hot
magazine. Though Babs had told me his agent had told him to say it. Looking up, I realised Natasha, Ginny and Cora were all staring at me.

‘Oh, dear,’ Cora said, gleefully. ‘You’ve got it bad.’

‘Really bad,’ said Ginny. ‘I think this might be love.’

Natasha nudged me violently.

‘Does he feel the same about you?’

‘No,’ I said. ‘Maybe. I don’t know. I feel like I’ve let him down too many times. We spent the night together before
Strictly Stars Dancing
began – we didn’t know we’d be partners then, obviously. And I was horrible to him the next day.’

I winced, thinking about how cold I’d been.

‘But he forgave me. Then we kissed and I ran away. And he forgave me again. I’ve just been a cow, but he’s been great. And then I told him I just wanted to be friends and he seems fine with it. Really.’ I put my head in my hands. ‘Oh, man,’ I said. ‘Have I missed my chance?’

Cora, who’d necked half her glass of wine already, ditched the blanket she’d had over her knees and was looking more like her old self now, stood up.

‘Amy,’ she said, taking my hands so I stood up, too. ‘I want you to listen to me – and listen carefully.’

‘Crikey,’ I said, but I listened.

‘I gave you some advice before but I was wrong,’ Cora said. ‘So wrong. I can see that now. I want you to seize every chance of happiness you get and live every day as though it’s your last.’She looked dreamy for a second.

‘The last time I saw Donnie,’ she said, ‘was in Hyde Park. It was sunny and he was walking away from me, smiling. He spun round and shouted that we were getting married and two soldiers who were walking nearby congratulated him. The very last words he said to me were “I love you, Cora Cassidy”. I may not have Donnie, but I’ve got that memory.’

I breathed in, still floored by the sadness of all Cora’s ‘what ifs’.

‘What would you tell Patrick if you thought you’d never see him again?’ Cora said.

I chewed my lip.

‘I’d tell him that he’s one of the nicest, kindest people I’ve ever met,’ I began.

‘Well, that’s not very hot,’ Ginny grumbled. ‘Makes him sound like a sob story on
Surprise Surprise
.’

I laughed.

‘I’d tell him that when he touches me, my skin fizzes,’ I said.

‘Better,’ Ginny said. Natasha frowned at her to be quiet.

‘I’d tell him that sometimes when he looks at me, my stomach does this snakey thing and I feel sick and weak and,’ I lowered my voice, ‘really, really hot – you know?’

Ginny clapped her hands.

‘That dancing with him is like the promise of the best sex I’ve ever had, and the best sex, and the afterwards of the best sex all rolled into one,’ I said, feeling myself blushing again. ‘And that I can’t bear to think that on Saturday this will all be over and I might never even see him again.’

Cora squeezed my fingers tightly.

‘You need to tell him,’ she said. ‘Tell him what you’ve told us.’

‘What if he doesn’t feel the same?’ I said.

Cora shrugged.

‘Tell him after the final,’ she said. ‘Then if it goes wrong, you never have to see him again.’

I looked at her and thought about how she’d had a whole life wishing things had turned out differently.

‘Seize my chance of happiness?’ I said.

‘Seize it,’ Cora said.

‘Okay,’ I said. I lifted my chin, Cora-style. ‘I will.’

I gave her a hug.

‘But you seize it, too,’ I said. ‘Maybe now you know the truth about Donnie you can find someone to love.’

Cora laughed.

‘Oh, I think that boat has sailed,’ she said. ‘And that’s just fine with me. But you, Amy, you’re still young. Your boat’s still in the harbour.’

I giggled, suddenly giddy with hope and excitement about what the future held.

‘Right,’ I said. ‘I’m off to bed. I’ve got a whole lot of seizing to do tomorrow.’

Chapter Fifty-Three

‘Are you ready?’ Patrick said. We were standing in the
Strictly Stars Dancing
costume department, very early on Monday morning. In front of us were two mannequins, both covered in sheets, and a very excited costume designer called Annie.

Patrick had forced me to go all the way to the studio at some ungodly hour, so he could show me what he had planned for our show dance in the final. I was bleary-eyed after being up late with Cora, and I hoped it was going to be worth it.

‘Ready as I’ll ever be,’ I said, eyeing him over the top of my takeaway coffee cup. ‘Show me.’

‘Tah-dah!’ said Annie, pulling off the sheet.

I gasped in delight. The mannequin was wearing a long, bright-pink strapless dress just like the one Marilyn Monroe wore in
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
. After Patrick and I had watched the film together I’d watched it over and over again because I’d loved it so much. My favourite bit was when she sang ‘Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend’ – wearing a dress just like this one.

‘It’s like Marilyn’s,’ I said. Patrick was smiling so widely I thought his face must hurt.

‘I know how much you love that film,’ Patrick said. ‘So I thought we’d have a kind of vintage feel to the start of the show dance. We’ve practised a few bits, right?’

I nodded. We had gone over some of the steps but not in the right order and not with music – Patrick had kept it all under his hat.

‘So the first half of the dance is going to be very Marilyn. A quickstep with some American smooth thrown in for good measure. Couple of lifts. A few extra dancers like Marilyn has in the film – you know the kind of thing.’

‘Gorgeous,’ I said.

Annie took over.

‘The dress has a fuller skirt and a split because you need to be able to move your legs,’ she explained. And it’s got a flesh-coloured top so it won’t fall down. We’ve got long gloves, too, like she has in the film.’

I walked round the mannequin, admiring the dress. It really was pretty. Down the back was a row of fastenings, which looked slightly odd.

‘What’s this?’ I asked.

‘Ah,’ Patrick said, looking even more proud of himself. ‘That’s for the second part of the dance.’

‘There’s more?’ I said.

‘Well, less really,’ said Annie with a grin. Deftly, she unfastened the back of the dress and pulled it off the mannequin. Underneath was a dazzling sparkly leotard with a trailing sequined skirt to one side.

‘Oh, my,’ I said. ‘It’s like a very shiny snakeskin.’

‘For the rumba part of the dance,’ Patrick said. ‘Well, it’s based around a rumba more or less, with some other bits thrown in. We’re dancing to ‘Diamonds’ by Rihanna.’

‘That’s my favourite song,’ I said.

Patrick pretended to look surprised.

‘It is?’

I gave him a punch on the arm.

‘This is incredible, Patrick,’ I said. Suddenly I felt like I wanted to cry, but not because I was sad. ‘I honestly think it’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.’

Patrick looked at me for a second, and I thought he was going to say something. Then he grinned.

‘Bet you’re not saying that when I make you quickstep for four hours non-stop,’ he said. ‘And we’ve got to sort out that back bend in the tango. And you need to not cry during the rumba.’

I turned away slightly and sneakily wiped away a tear that was threatening to drip. ‘Lots to do,’ I said. ‘Shall we get on with it?’

I had never worked as hard as I worked those last five days on
Strictly Stars Dancing
. Never. I’d put in long days and late nights on
Turpin Road
, of course – anyone who thinks being on a soap is an easy ride has clearly never been on a soap. I’d done night shoots, a few stunts, some emotional stories that took a lot of research and drained me so much I felt like it was all real. But I’d never been so full on. From that early morning on the Monday, we danced for twelve, sometimes fourteen hours each day. We paused for snacks and drinks. On Wednesday we cracked the back bend in the tango and celebrated with a cheeky Nando’s. But even then we were hard at it again shortly afterwards. On the Thursday, we didn’t go outside the studio for ten hours and, when we finally headed home, we were shocked to see it was snowing.

I was thrilled. I bounded down the steps from the school’s front door and out onto the street. It was dark and the streetlights shone orange beams onto the snowy pavements. The road was quiet and still – there were no cars – and it was like we’d been transported from Clapham to Narnia.

‘Ohmygod,’ I said, standing with my arms outstretched. ‘We’ve been working so hard I didn’t even notice winter had arrived.’

Patrick was standing very still, on the bottom step. They stairs were undercover, so they weren’t snowy, but his next footstep would take him onto the icy path.

‘Come on,’ I said, twirling round. ‘Let’s walk across the common. It’ll be beautiful.’

‘Can we take a cab?’ Patrick said.

I laughed. Patrick didn’t.

‘Oh, you’re serious,’ I said. ‘What’s the matter?’

‘It’s snowing,’ Patrick said. ‘And I’m from California.’

‘So?’

‘So, we don’t do snow in California,’ he said through chattering teeth. ‘It barely even rains in California.’

I was delighted.

‘Ohmygod are you scared of the snow?’ I said with glee. ‘Are you scared of the ittybitty snowflakes?’

Patrick sighed.

‘No, I’m not scared,’ he said. ‘Just wary.’

‘Scared.’

He made a face.

‘I’m terrified,’ he wailed. ‘Come help me, Amy.’

Giggling, I took his hand.

‘You’re wearing boots,’ I said. ‘You’ll be fine. Just walk normally.’

Slowly, we made our way through the deserted streets. Patrick kept making little yelps and gasps whenever his foot slipped and I could not stop laughing. It was so funny to see him out of his comfort zone.

‘I like that I’m in charge for once,’ I teased.

‘Well, don’t get used to it,’ Patrick said. ‘I’m back being the boss of you tomorrow.’

He stumbled as his foot shot out in front of him.

‘Catch me,’ he squealed and I threw my arms round him, shaking with laughter.

‘I’ve got you,’ I said. ‘You’re safe.’

I looked up at him. He was wearing his black beanie hat, and his blond hair stuck out from underneath. His cheeks were rosy and his eyes sparkled like the diamonds in Rihanna’s song. I wanted to touch his face and kiss him and tell him I loved him, but I also wanted to win
Strictly Stars Dancing
and with the final just two days away I couldn’t risk ruining our relationship, which was going so well.