A Sticky Situation (28 page)

“Give me an hour.”

“OK, but you better not be here a minute after that.”

“A’ight.”

Two seconds after I hung up with Maxine, I hopped my ass in the shower because I knew she was going to inspect me as soon as I walked through her front door. I made sure I had the Irish Spring smell on me and that it was strong, too. Of course, I fucked her real good and sent her silly ass to bed, but what she didn’t know was our little rendezvous were about to come to an end.

SETH

Girl Fight

When I woke up the next morning, I saw Maxine going through the call log on my phone, so I snapped on her ass and asked her what the fuck she was doing. She got on the defensive, and instead of answering my question, she started throwing questions at me about what numbers belonged to who. Why was I on the phone with this person for this amount of time? The questions kept coming one after the other. When I got tired of listening to her ass, I immediately shut her down.

“Wait a minute,” I shouted. “How the fuck you gon’ question me about my shit? That’s my motherfucking phone. You don’t pay that bill, I do! I told you before to keep your hands off of it, but I see you ain’t gon’ be satisfied until I go upside your fucking head!”

“Do it, Seth! Do it!” she snapped back. Before I knew it, she was standing over me while I was sitting up in the bed.

“You really want me to go back to jail, don’t you?” I asked her with the most agitated expression I could muster. I mean, I was angry as a motherfucker. I honestly wanted to bash her damn head in, but I knew that if I put my hands on her, I was surely going back to jail. Instead of feeding into her shit, I got out of the bed, got dressed, grabbed all my things, and left. I didn’t say anything the whole time, and she was pissed. Maxine threw so much shit around the house, I knew it was gonna take her at least a couple of days to pick up all the broken plates, vases, and the glass from the picture frames. She’d be all right, though. Ol’ dumb bitch!

I hopped in my car and drove to the downtown part of Norfolk, since I had to pick Samantha up. It was 7:45
AM
, so I stopped at IHOP and ordered her some takeout. I knew she loved herself a good cheesy omelet, so I ordered the steak and cheese omelet and told them to stick a cup of sour cream on the side. I also told them to give me a cup of freshly squeezed orange juice. Sam loved it cold, so I made sure they added a few cubes of ice as well. After everything was prepared, they packed it up in boxes and sent me on my way.

When Samantha came outside of the halfway house, she looked like a breath of fresh air. You could tell that she was fresh out the joint with her light, clear skin and long, flowing hair. Even though she picked up a few pounds from eating Ramen noodles, it went straight to her thighs and ass. I said it on the day she came home and we met at the hotel. Boy, did we have fun. When she got in my car she gave me a slow, wet kiss on the lips. My dick got hard instantly.

“Damn, mommie, you’re getting my dick hard as a rock.” I smiled.

I guess she didn’t believe me because she reached down to my crotch and started rubbing her hand back and forth across my dick. “You sure weren’t lying,” she said.

“I told you,” I replied, and then I put the car in gear and drove off.

“What’s this?” Sam asked and picked the IHOP bag from the floor in front of her.

“I picked you up a steak and cheese omelet with a side of sour cream and toast.”

She smiled even harder. “Ahhh, you remembered how much I loved omelets.”

“Come on now, Ma. You know I remember everything about you.”

Still cheesing, she kissed me again and opened the Styrofoam container. While Samantha enjoyed her food, I found myself watching her every move. She acted like she was so happy and at peace. However, that feeling she had came to an abrupt end when I pulled up in the parking lot of the Social Security Building and parked my car. Out of nowhere, Maxine snatched the driver’s side door of my car open and started swinging on me.

“You lied to me!” she screamed, throwing blow after blow. “You said you wasn’t gonna fuck with her! But you did it anyway. Then you disrespect me by having that bitch in a car I co-signed for your ass! I am sick of your shit!”

I didn’t see Samantha hop out of the passenger seat because I had my head buried in the steering wheel, trying to stop Maxine from hitting me in my face. I recovered the instant Samantha pulled Maxine from off me.

“Bitch, what’s wrong with you? You don’t be putting your motherfucking hands on my man!” Samantha yelled at the top of her lungs, simultaneously slamming Maxine against the back door of my car.

Hearing the tone of Samantha’s voice made me open my eyes to see what was going on. As soon as I regained my sight, I saw both Maxine and Samantha going for what they knew. Samantha had Maxine pinned down with one hand and punched her in the face with the other. Maxine was getting a few good punches in herself, but it didn’t do enough damage to get Samantha off her. When I saw a small crowd gather around with a security guard in the midst, I rushed over and proceeded to break them up.

“Let her go, Samantha. She ain’t worth it. You know she can get you locked back up for this shit!” I tried to reason with Sam, hoping she would release Maxine from her grip.

“Fuck this bitch! She ain’t got no right running up on us like this,” Sam panted.

“Oh, don’t try to talk to your convict bitch now! It’s too late, ’cause both of y’all’s asses are going back to jail as soon as the police get here,” Maxine yelled.

“Shut up, bitch! I am so tired of hearing your fucking mouth!” Samantha tried to muffle Maxine’s mouth up with her fist but when Maxine bit down on Samantha’s hand, Sam went bananas. “Owww, this fucking bitch is biting me!”

“Maxine, let her go,” I demanded.

“If y’all don’t break this up, I’m gon’ call the police,” the young black security guard warned us.

“This bitch is trying to bite a plug out of my fucking hand,” Samantha screamed in anguish as she continued to pound the hell out of Maxine’s face with her other hand.

“Help me, man! Help me break them up,” I pleaded with the guy.

“Grab her,” he said pointing to Sam. “And I’ll get her,” he said pointing to Maxine.

It took us a while, but we finally got them separated. Samantha’s hand was pretty bruised up by Maxine’s teeth, but Maxine’s face looked a lot worse and she had scratches, along with black and blue marks, all around her mouth. Both of her eyes were black, and her hair was all over the place. Samantha had fucked her up.

“Say goodbye to your freedom, because both of y’all convicts are going back to jail today,” she threatened while she was fixing her clothes.

“Shut the fuck up, bitch!” Sam yelled over my shoulders. “You’re just mad because Seth doesn’t want you and I just whipped your ass!”

“He ain’t gon’ want you either, after I get through with your ass!”

“Don’t talk about it, bitch! Be about it!” Sam snapped, getting hyped all over again.

“Y’all gotta break this up or else I’ma call the police,” the security guard said again.

Maxine said, “I want you to call them. While you’re at it, tell them I am a U.S. Federal Probation Officer, this man right here is one of my parolees, and when I was trying to make an arrest, his convict girlfriend here attacked me.”

“Bitch, you’re lying! You attacked him first,” Sam said with rage.

“Yeah, Maxine, why you lying?” I interjected.

“You’re a P.O., for real?” the security guard asked her.

“Yes, I am. Here’s my badge.” She handed him an ID with her face and credentials plastered all over it. Once he scanned over all the information printed on her I.D, he handed it back to her and said, “Do you need me to help you make an arrest?”

Before she answered, I looked at this nigga like he was fucking crazy. I mean, did he actually think that I was going to make her job easier by letting him take me into custody? Was this fake-ass, non-guntoting nigga stupid or something? Before he could make a move, I settled the whole thing by saying, “Maxine, before you answer this cat’s question, I just want you to think about the repercussions he is going to face if he put his hands on me. Now you know I ain’t nothing to be fucked with, and I would seriously hurt him if you don’t send him on his merry way.”

Maxine stood still and acted like she was contemplating taking this guy up on his offer, so I reminded her again that if the nigga touched me, I was going to lay him out on the ground. I told Samantha to get back in the car and I followed her.

The security guard stepped aside when I started the ignition, but Maxine refused to move. “Trust me, you can run but you can’t hide,” she said. “Remember, I got eyes all over the place.” She kicked a huge dent in the driver’s side door with her boots. When I pulled off, she got on her phone and started dialing numbers.

“Don’t go to your mother’s house because the U.S. Marshals will be waiting for you,” she warned me.

SETH

The Real Wifey

Samantha complained about her hand the whole time I was driving, and I swear I wanted to tell her to shut the fuck up, even though I knew that wouldn’t have been the right thing to say under the circumstances. What she needed was a first aid kit or something. I pulled over to the nearest drugstore and got everything I figured she would need to medicate and bandage her wound. Afterward we rode down to the Lafayette Park, found a parking spot by the tennis courts, and sat there trying to figure out what we were going to do.

“What’s going through your mind?” I asked her right after I shut off the ignition.

“I’m just trying to figure out what I am going to do. I mean, I know the U.S. Marshals are going to be waiting on me when I get back to the halfway house, which makes me not want to go back there.”

“If you don’t want to go back, I won’t take you.”

“But where else am I going to go? Those people are going to put out an APB if I don’t show up. And not only that, if I go back there today without a copy of my application from the SSI office and a receipt from DMV showing them I’d been there, they are going to railroad my ass for real.”

“So whatchu wanna do?”

Frustrated and confused Samantha started crying. “Seth, I don’t know what I want to do. Shit would’ve been a lot easier for me if you hadn’t fucked with that bitch from the beginning. But, nah, you had to play big dawg and act like you were a fucking lover or something. And now I’m sitting here on pins and needles, trying to figure out if your stalker bitch is going to rat us out.”

“Trust me, she ain’t gon’ rat us out.”

“Trust you? Come on now, Seth. That sounds like a joke.” She wiped her tears.

“Listen, I know I fucked up and I do a lot of shit without thinking about the consequences. But believe me, I’m about to turn all of this shit around.” I pulled my Blackberry out of its holster and dialed Maxine’s number.

Samantha sat there in awe, not knowing what to say. I really didn’t know what to say either, but as soon as Maxine answered her phone, the words came out of nowhere. I started by telling her how I would like to sit down and have a talk with her before she did something she was going to regret. Then I mentioned to her how sorry I was about how everything went down and that if there was any way I could make it up to her, I needed her to give me the chance to do it. Unfortunately, she wasn’t as receptive as I anticipated. She started screaming through the phone like she was out of her mind and told me that if we didn’t turn ourselves in to her office within the hour, she was going to have our faces plastered all over the six o’clock news.

“Come on now, Maxine. I know we can work this out without bringing the marshals in it.”

“That bitch of yours attacked me and fucked my face up. Do you really think I am going to let her get away with it?”

“Look, I know you’re upset, but I’m telling you right now, bringing in the marshals ain’t gon’ do nothing but add fuel to the fire,” I warned her.

“Seth, do you think I give a fuck about you telling my supervisor about my relationship with you? I already know my career is over. So you are talking to somebody who has nothing else to lose. See, you betrayed me. You broke my heart. Then, on top of that, you lied in my face, knowing goddamned well you had every intention of getting back with her. That’s why I am going to do everything in my power to make sure you regret you ever screwed around on me.”

“So, you’re telling me that there’s no way I can make this right?”

“Seth, the damage is done.”

“I understand all of that, but you’re telling me that I can’t make this right?”

“What could you possibly do to make it right?”

“I got a few things in mind.”

“Like what? Let me hear one of them.”

“Can we talk about this in person?”

“What’s wrong? What, you can’t talk around her?”

“She’s not even around me.”

“Where is she?”

“I dropped her off at one of her friend’s house until I can get shit straight with you.”

“Oh, so since she’s not around, you want to call. You got some nerve.”

“Listen, Maxine, you and I could go on and on about how I betrayed you, but the fact of the matter is, you still love me. I know you want us to be together, so let’s stop all this nonsense so we can sit down and try to work this thing out.”

“It’s too late for all that, Seth.”

“No, it’s not, so stop saying it.”

“Seth, what do you want me to say?”

“I want you to say you’ll give me another chance.” She fell silent. I said, “Did you hear me?”

“Yes, I hear you.”

“So, whatchu gon’ do, because we need to make things right.”

“Where are you?” she asked calmly.

“I’m in Hampton,” I lied.

“Well, meet me at my apartment in the next thirty minutes.”

“A’ight, I can do that. But let me ask you something.”

“What’s that?”

“Did you call the marshals on us?”

“Why?”

“Because I need to know.”

She sighed heavily and said, “No, not yet.”