A Taylor-Made Life (15 page)

“You ready?”

“Yeah.”

He followed me down the steps to his
black Altima, the one his parents had gotten him for graduation two
years ago, and opened the door. I climbed inside.

He walked around and got in. Shooting
a glance over to the window of the bottom floor, I caught the sight
of someone peeking between the blinds. Humph
.
Dollars to
doughnuts it wasn’t Zelda.

“How about we explore Fisherman’s
Wharf?”

I turned to face him. “Okay. I’m game.
How was your spring break?”

A big hearty laugh boomed from him
that made me feel tingly inside. “The twins kept me busy running
all over town to find boys. I think Gillian has a boyfriend. I
caught her kissing one anyway.”

I giggled. Matt’s sisters were too
funny and always getting into trouble. I grinned at him. “I can’t
believe they’re old enough for boyfriends.”

He frowned. “They’re not, and if Mom
knew, they would be so busted. That kiss was hilarious, though.” He
glanced over at me. “It reminded me of our first kiss.”

I blushed furiously and flicked a
little snag on my jeans. “That bad, huh?”

He reached over and squeezed my hand.
“Actually, it was kind of sweet.”

Matt’s easygoing charm settled my
nerves, and we slipped into familiar conversation.

We arrived at the wharf in the heat of
the day and spent the afternoon wandering from store to store,
vendor to vendor, laughing and talking about home, high school,
and, of course, football.

“Hey, Gavin is throwing me a birthday
party on Friday. Do you think you can make it?”

Matt’s face paled, but he smiled. “I’d
love to come.”

He took my hand and led me to the edge
of the pier. Looking out over the bay, he said, “Tay, I’m sorry. So
sorry I missed your last birthday. I should’ve been there.” His
eyes glittered with emotion.

The regret in his voice set a
seriousness to the conversation I didn’t like and caused my throat
to constrict. I shook my head to tell him it was okay. Not to worry
about it.

“No. It’s not okay. And it never will
be, but all I can do is try to make up for it.” Taking both my
hands, he peered into my eyes. “I’ve missed you. I was wrong, and I
want you back.”

“Me? You must have a million other
girls chasing after you.”

“But they aren’t you. I can’t talk to
anyone like I can you.”

I pulled from his grip and looped my
arm through his, pulling him down the pier. He went along, but I
knew the conversation wasn’t over. He started to protest but seemed
to change his mind.

My heart lightened with Matt, like he
could carry any burden on those big shoulders. Any burden except
cancer. A shot of pain went through me. He’d broken up with me
while I was undergoing my first round of chemo.

In my darkest hour, he’d abandoned me.
I studied his tall build and handsome features. Even with the
comforting conversation and chemistry between us, his betrayal was
something I wasn’t sure I could forget. Ever.

The idea of forgiving him had never
been an issue before yesterday because he hadn’t been around. Sure,
I’d been broken-hearted when he left, but it was his ability to
leave me sick in the hospital that made me realize our
relationship, would never become a hot and steamy romance. We could
be friends. And yes, if I thought about it, I could forgive him.
But I could never trust my heart—or my body—to him. Matt’s chance
had passed.

Somehow deep inside me I knew that
Gavin—even in his denial and no matter the circumstances—would
never leave me when I needed him. And for that smidgen of
assurance, my heart was completely his.

* * * *

Gavin leaned back in his office chair
and stretched like he’d been working for hours. In actuality, he’d
been staring at the programming code for his new game, and hadn’t
accomplished anything but a few minor revisions.

His cell rang.

“What’s up, Marissa?”

“You tell me, Gavin. I’ve provided you
with the hottest, sweetest, computer-loving women on the planet,
and you’ve rejected everyone.”

He tossed his head forward. “I know. I
know. It’s not you, Marissa.” He had to admit the woman had sent
him every shape and size, but he couldn’t bring himself to pick
one. “Claire was great. Just not for me.”

“She’ll be sorry to hear that. Isn’t
there anyone else you’d at least like to meet? What about Darla?
She’s smart and sexy. I was very impressed with her interview and
personality test. I think you’d like her.”

“I’ll pass. I’m not ready for
this.”

“What is it that you really want,
Gavin?”

That was the question. He tapped his
lips. What did he want? “A good question. You’ve helped me narrow
it down. But I don’t think you can provide what I need. Send your
final invoice, and thank the ladies for their time.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t be of more help. I
hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Ending the call, he stood and paced to
the window again.

He’d watched Taylor leave nearly five
hours ago. Why wasn’t she back yet? Had they really gone to Big
Sur?
Shit.
Right now on a secluded beach,
Daisy
Plucker
was probably making out with her. Or worse. He pushed
away from the window. He’d just as soon stick his hand in a grease
fire than think of that blond football...prick with his
girl.

His girl?
In a way, she was his
girl.

Then why did he let her go? All he
would’ve had to do was say the word. Why hadn’t he given her what
she wanted? Was he really such a prude? “Why is she so hell-bent to
have sex?” The question escaped between his clenched
teeth.

“I beg your pardon?”

Gavin spun to face a wide-eyed
Maureen.

“Knock. Knock. Can I come
in?”

He nodded, trying to act nonchalant.
“What’s up?”

“I should ask you the same thing. What
were you saying about having sex?”

His ears burned, and the hair at the
back of his neck prickled. “Nothing.”

She gave him a sly smile. “It didn’t
sound like nothing.”

He wasn’t fooling anyone, especially
not her. He’d known Taylor wanted to experience sex. But he’d
thought having her as a friend would be enough for her to abandon
the ridiculous idea—an idea that had increasingly haunted his own
dreams. His shoulders drooped. “Do you think Taylor and Matt
will…?” He waved some vague gesture.

Maureen’s eyebrows shot up into her
hairline. “Have sex, you mean?”

He hemmed, hawed, and finally said,
“Well, yeah.”

She laughed. At least someone was
enjoying the moment, because he was damn well
embarrassed.

“No, I don’t.” She patted his
shoulder. “Taylor was deeply infatuated with Matt, but he let her
down. Even if she doesn’t realize it yet, she’ll have a hard time
trusting him again. And no matter how forward-thinking she is, she
could never have sex with someone she didn’t trust.” She studied
his face. “Why? Would that bother you if she did?” A knowing smile
quirked her mouth. “She says you aren’t interested in her
romantically.”

“She told you that?” Fidgeting for
something to do with his hands, he popped the clasp of his watch
open and closed.

“Taylor tells me most everything. So,
are you?”

He closed his eyes to escape her
penetrating gaze. “I can’t be.”

“That’s not really what I asked, but
let’s start there. Why can’t you?”

The motherly tone she took was
unsettling. “Maureen, you know why. She’s a teenage girl with a
terminal illness.”

“Why do those things preclude her from
your love?”

Love?
Who said anything about
love? Weren’t they talking about sex? He shuddered, trying not to
let the unwanted images penetrate his mind. “I’m talking about a
sexual relationship with your seventeen-year-old daughter, not
marriage.”

“Well, you know, not so long ago,
seventeen was considered more than old enough for either. The girls
in my historical romances are sometimes even younger….”

Gavin stared disbelievingly at the
ceiling. She was basing her opinion on a romance novel?

“…
and she’s only seventeen
for three more days. Why are you so hung up on a number? You deal
with numbers every day, I would imagine. You should know as well as
anyone that numbers can’t always draw the line between right and
wrong. There are exceptions.”

“Maybe. But I can’t even think of
it.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Really? I’m
not so sure this is the obstacle keeping you from Taylor,
Gavin.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can imagine there are any number of
women lining up for a chance with you, and a few of them probably
worth your time. No. I think you would have the same anxiety about
opening yourself up to anyone, regardless of her age.”

The gentleness of her tone and the
kindness in her eyes didn’t soften the words. This woman saw
straight into his soul. Heat and moisture stung the corners of his
eyes.

“Until you can get over your fear,
you’re not going to allow anyone into your heart, and it won’t
matter if she’s fifteen or fifty.”

He blinked hard. “I’ve let you and
Taylor in. You’re here in my house, my life, aren’t
you?”

Maureen smiled. “That’s true,
sweetheart, and I know how hard that must’ve been for you.” She
pulled him into a tight hug. “I also know you can go the final step
to open up to Taylor. You love her, Gavin, and I know she loves
you. You should be together for as long as you have.”

He hugged her back. “I’m not so sure
about any of that, Maureen. Being in love is not something that
just happens, and, even if I were—which I’m not conceding—I’m not
ready to take the innocence of a teenage girl who clearly thinks
the world of me.”

“That she does, and so do I.” She made
her way to the door and turned. “Take the time you need to figure
this out, but don’t take too long.”

* * * *

Gavin snuck in the back entrance of
his building and down the hall adjacent to his office. He needed to
accomplish a few things and get back to the house before lunch. But
he knew what would happen. If these guys found out he was here,
there would be a steady stream of whiners and well-wishers,
contracts, purchase orders and impromptu meetings before he could
start up his laptop.

The wide-open office space, with an
abundance of chrome and glass, always made him feel like he was in
a fish bowl. He ducked his head around the corner. The hall sat
empty except for Sara.

Her eyes grew wide when she saw him.
He held his finger to his lips and shook his head. She chuckled
quietly and nodded. He pulled out his keys to unlock—

“Hey, Boss! What’re you doing here?”
Jon’s annoyingly loud voice reverberated down the hall.

Gavin shot an irritated glance in
either direction.
Shit.
They’d be crawling out of the
sheetrock and swarming him before he could get to
safety.

“Hi, Jon.” His shoulders drooped as
Jon followed him in and plopped down in the seat in front of his
desk. If you could call it a desk. Sonofabitch. It overflowed with
files and contracts that had piled up in his two-week
absence.

“You looked over the new VITA code
yet?”

Gavin peered across the leaning tower
of doom and shook his head. “Just glanced at it.”

“Well, we thought if we brought the
Cinderon Force forward and gave them fused weapons—”

“Jon, can I have a minute? I’m not
prepared to discuss this right now.”

Jon’s mouth took on a comical oval
shape. “Oh. Sure. Sorry, Boss. I can come back.” He stood and
walked to the door. “It’s good to have you back in the
office.”

“Thanks and don’t tell anyone you saw
me, okay?”

“You got it.”

Gavin shook his head and began sorting
through the files, but his mind wandered.

Would Taylor call Matt today? They’d
gone out on a seven-hour date yesterday to the wharf, so she said.
He rubbed his chin. When he’d asked her about plans for today,
she’d been closed off. Maybe because other than grilling her about
her date, he hadn’t said another word to her and ate dinner alone
in his room.

Wizards of CROG
, he missed
sleeping with her. For two nights he’d tossed and turned, unable to
get comfortable in his own damn bed. He wanted her back. Something
burned deep in his chest.

Was Maureen right? Was he in love with
Taylor? He was clearly attracted to her. He’d never been in love.
He’d never found anyone he could love. But he could love her, if
he’d let himself. He didn’t deserve her. Maybe Matt was better for
her. He curled his lip at the bullshit thought.

This almost-eighteen-year-old girl
consumed him. He tossed aside several files, unable to concentrate
and pulled up his email, trying to skim through and get the hell
out of there.