A Time for Home: A Snowberry Creek Novel (20 page)

“Okay, then.”

She hesitated a few seconds longer. “If I seem reluctant, it isn’t because of you, Nick. Going ahead with this will be a huge change in lifestyle for me. The thought of getting estimates is making it a little too real all of a sudden. My whole working life has been spent moving from one place to another, sometimes three times or more in one year. I don’t know if I’ll be happy staying in one place long term, but I’m awfully tired of living out of suitcases in short-term rentals. I also miss my friends and family when I’m gone for months at a time.”

He could sympathize. “And if I take the discharge the army offered, I’ll need to stop moving sometime, too. It’s a scary proposition.”

“It is, isn’t it? But for now, I guess I’ll get cleaned up and go talk to Clarence. That seems to be the next logical step. Getting a few names isn’t like I’m totally committed.”

But he really hoped she was. “One step at a time, Callie. That’s all any of us can do.”

Then he kissed the tip of her nose. “And like I said, the grass won’t cut itself.”

•   •   •

The temperature outside was pleasant, especially compared to summers in Afghanistan or even back in the Midwest where he’d grown up. Even so, Nick had worked up a good sweat by the time he finished mowing the yard. After a short break, he’d move next door and take care of Callie’s yard, too.

For now, he sat down on the front porch and enjoyed a cold beer and the afternoon breeze. After a few minutes, Leif joined him. He lowered himself into the next rocker with a soft grunt of pain.

“Think I could run her dad’s lawn mower? I’m tired of sitting on my ass watching you work.”

Nick understood the need to feel useful. “I don’t see why not. It has hand controls, so you won’t have to worry about using your boot for anything.”

“Good. I’d like to give it a try next time you mow.”

“No time like the present. I was going to do the yard next door while I have the mower out. I’m only too glad to get you started and hang out on the swing and watch you do all the work. When you’re done or even if you just get tired of riding around in circles, you can ride it back over here. I’ll need to hose the mower down and refill the tank before I put it back.”

He added that last part mainly to give Leif an excuse not to walk back from Callie’s house. Cutting through the woods was shorter, but the path was pretty rough. Walking up the driveway to the road and around to Spence’s driveway would be easier going, but the distance would be tough for him.

The jerk tried to pretend he was stronger than he was. Nick could only hope that Leif wasn’t doing further damage to his leg or at least wasn’t jeopardizing his long-term recovery. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to ask a few questions.

“So for real this time, what did the docs say about your ankle?”

Leif’s lips instantly went hard and thin, and his hands gripped the arms of the rocker tightly enough to make his knuckles white. Okay, they’d had nothing good to say, or Leif wouldn’t be so angry. The real question was how bad the verdict had been. Rather than push, Nick waited him out.

Finally, Leif let out a big sigh as he stared down at his leg and slowly flexed his hands over and over. “I need long-term rehab on it. They said if I follow the right therapy plan diligently I might eventually walk without a cane and only a bit of limp.”

He shot Nick a quick look. “Of course, those bastards always make things out to be worse than they really are. I’m hoping to be back up to speed in a couple of months and ready to deploy again.”

Nick didn’t believe that and figured Leif didn’t, either, even if he wasn’t ready to admit it. They’d both set out to make the army their careers. Now they were both damaged goods. Nick could probably hang on, depending on how much residual damage he had from the shrapnel that had ripped his arm open.

Nick remembered all too clearly the mangled mess Leif’s lower leg had been after they’d hit that first IED. Hell, he’d been surprised to find out that they’d managed to save Leif’s ankle and foot. Leif had been in shock and too doped up to have gotten a clear look at it.

Nick still had nightmares about the bloody mess. Another secret he kept to himself.

“So when do you need to get back to the hospital to get started on that therapy?”

“That depends.”

Nick leaned back in the wicker rocker and closed his eyes. “On?”

“When you’re heading back to Ohio. I thought I’d ride along and keep you company since I’m guessing Mooch will be staying here in Snowberry Creek with Callie.”

That was news to Nick. “Has she said that in so many words?”

“No, but she’s crazy about that damn dog, and he clearly loves her right back. After all, that’s the life Spence wanted for both him and the mutt.”

Like Nick needed Leif to remind him of that. Now he was the one curling his fingers up in a fist, but Leif didn’t deserve his temper.

“I won’t be heading back to Ohio until Callie makes up her mind about what she’s going to do with this place. Once she decides that much, she’ll let me know if I’m in the running to do the work for her. I’ve already told her that I’ll understand if she chooses to use someone else, someone who’ll be here for her long term.”

Leif stood up and stretched. “Just to be sure, you are talking about contractors, aren’t you?”

Maybe. Maybe not. For the moment, though, that was the story he was going with.

“What else would I be talking about, Corporal? We both know this is Spence’s place, not mine.”

Even if he wanted it to be.

Evidently Leif was satisfied with his response, which was all that mattered at the moment.

“Okay, I’ll hang out here until you know for sure what you’re going to do. If you’re going to stay, I’ll see if I can get my therapy scheduled out here rather than heading back east for it.”

Was he doing that because he needed Nick’s support through the painful process of rehabbing his ankle or because he thought Nick needed a chaperone if he was going to hang around Callie for any length of time? The answer didn’t matter. He wanted to be there for Leif regardless, which reminded him: “Gage says he has connections with the bases out here. He said to let him know if you wanted him to make a few calls.”

“Will do. Now, let’s get that lawn mowed.”

When Leif started down the steps, Nick stood up and stretched, using the maneuver as a pretense to be ready in case his friend took a header. Once Leif safely reached the ground, Nick followed him.

“Climb aboard, and I’ll show you how this thing works.”

He’d be glad when they fired up the lawn mower. The noise of its engine would preclude any more discussion about whether Nick belonged in Snowberry Creek.

•   •   •

“Mooch, I know it’s silly that I brought you along for moral support while I talk to Clarence about contractors, but there you go. Hope you don’t mind.”

The dog offered no complaints but happily did his doggy thing, sticking his nose out the window to drink in the myriad of smells that rolled past them as she drove. What did he make of this new world he was in? Was it starting to make sense to him? Of the three males camped out in Spence’s house, Mooch seemed to be having the easiest time adjusting to life in Snowberry Creek.

She reached over to pat him on the back, loving his soft fur although the jagged scar from his bullet wound gave her the shivers. He didn’t even flinch, so that was a good thing. “I wish your two buddies weren’t having such a hard time of it, Mooch, but I guess these things take time.”

As she drove into the parking lot at the hardware store, Clarence was just getting out of his small pickup truck. She pulled into the spot next to his and rolled down her window.

As soon as he spotted her, his face lit up. “Callie girl! How are you?”

“I’m doing fine, Clarence. I was wondering if I could pick your brain for a few minutes. If you’re too busy, I can come back later.”

“I always have time for friends. I’ve got about an hour before I have to relieve my assistant manager.”

Mooch crawled into Callie’s lap and stuck his head out of her window in an effort to reach Clarence. The older man gave him a quick scratch. “Hey, there, Mooch. Good to see you, buddy.”

Clarence stepped back to give her room to open the door. “Why don’t we walk around back? There’s an old picnic table by the loading dock where we can sit, and Mooch can stretch out in the shade. I’ve got my laptop with me, so I can access any information from it.”

“Great! Come on, Mooch.”

She snapped on the dog’s leash before letting him out of the car. It was unlikely he’d wander off, but this was a busy parking lot. The dog was adjusting pretty well to this new world, but there was no use in taking any chances with his safety.

When the three of them were seated at the picnic table, she handed Clarence the paperwork Nick had given her.

“You already know that I’m thinking about turning Spence’s home into a B and B. Nick used to work for his father, who is a remodeling contractor back in Ohio. He went through the house and gave me this list of what needs to be done. It looks pretty comprehensive to me, but then what do I know about such stuff?”

Clarence studied the evaluation for several minutes, flipping back and forth through the various pages. After a few minutes, he set it aside.

“That boy has a good eye for detail, and it sure reads as if he knows his business. So what can I do to help?”

She hid a smile over Nick being described as a boy. Not exactly the image she had of him, but then she had firsthand knowledge of how much of a man he was. Okay, this wasn’t the time for that line of thought, though. Back to business.

“I’d like to have at least one more contractor look at the house and give me his take on it as well. It only makes sense to get more than one opinion on what needs to be done and how much it should cost. The trouble is I don’t know any contractors who do this kind of work.”

Clarence nodded. “I can give you a few names to call, but it’s a shame your young man can’t stick around and help with the work. We could use some fresh blood here in Snowberry Creek.”

“He’s not my young man.” More’s the pity. “Besides, I suspect the army figures they have first claim on his time.”

“Yes, I suppose they do. Well, let me get those names for you. I’ll run inside and print the list for you and be right back. After you call these guys, let me know if you have any questions, and I’ll do what I can to help.

“Thanks, Clarence. I appreciate it.”

When he returned, he handed her the list. “I have to tell you that any of these men will be happy to get the work. I hope you’ll have them order as much of their supplies through me as they can.”

“I’ll make that part of the deal.”

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about having you, Nick, and Leif over for dinner. The missus said she was going to give you a call about setting a date.”

“I’ll look forward to it, and I know the guys were excited about the mere mention of the word pie.”

Clarence looked pleased. “I’ll tell her she’d better bake two just to be safe.”

“See you soon, and I’ll keep you posted on what I decide about the remodel.”

“Do that. And tell your folks hi for me when you talk to them.”

“I will.”

If she called them. In truth, she’d been avoiding it, but that would work for only so long. She was surprised they hadn’t already called her. The rumor mill worked far too well in Snowberry Creek for them not to have heard all about her walking hand in hand with Nick, not to mention having added a second soldier to her list of houseguests.

Yeah, she should phone them and explain what was going on. But how could she when she wasn’t sure herself? There was no use in making the call until she had some answers. That was her excuse, and she was sticking to it.

W
ell, Callie certainly hadn’t wasted any time. It was just yesterday that Nick had given her his list of the jobs that needed to be done. Now, less than twenty-four hours later, she was in the process of getting her third estimate for the job.

He shouldn’t be mad about it. Hell, he’d even told her she should talk to other contractors. Still, it pissed him off, even if he had no cause to be angry. It didn’t help to remind himself that experience had taught him that a man couldn’t expect to win every job he bid on. Win some; lose some.

But damn, he wanted to win this one. Needed to win this one. It was Nick’s duty to make sure Spence’s woman was taken care of, because the man couldn’t be there to do it himself.

Rather than watch Callie trailing along behind the contractor, Nick turned his attention back to painting the gazebo. He had only a little more to do. Once this first coat dried, he’d be able to start the final one. Unless it rained, he’d be done tomorrow. So maybe it was time to start making plans for the long drive back to Ohio.

His parents had left him another message asking when he’d be coming back home. How could he tell them the truth—that home really wasn’t home anymore? Not for him. Until he figured that out, he ignored both the call and his conscience, which was telling him he shouldn’t be worrying them like this.

The sound of an engine starting told him the contractor was leaving. He forced himself to keep painting, figuring Callie would seek him out when and if she wanted to talk about anything. After a few minutes, he looked around but didn’t see her anywhere.

Instead, Leif was headed his way, holding up his cell phone, wiggling it in the air, and mouthing, “It’s your mom.” Rats. She had obviously done an end run and called Leif since Nick wasn’t answering. He climbed down off the ladder and held out his hand for the phone.

“Hi, Mom.”

Leif looked apologetic before retreating to sit on the porch steps, probably thinking Nick wanted privacy. He appreciated the gesture, but there wasn’t anything he needed to say to his parents that he hadn’t already told Leif. He then realized Mom was already talking, and he’d missed everything she’d said.

“Whoa, Mom, slow down. I was climbing down off a ladder and missed that.”

She sounded exasperated when she repeated herself, speaking slowly to make sure he didn’t miss a word this time. “I asked when you were coming home. My friend from church has a daughter your age who will be in town for a visit week after next. I thought it would be nice if you showed her around the area.”

He closed his eyes and prayed for patience. Even if he was in town, he had no interest in being fixed up with some random woman.

“My plans are still up in the air, Mom. I’ll have to get back to you on when I’ll have time to stop by for another visit.”

Normally, his mom was pretty easygoing, but evidently she’d lost all patience with him. “Sorry, Nick, but that’s just not acceptable. And for your information, this isn’t where you visit. This is where you live. Besides, I’ve already told my friend that you’ll be glad to have dinner with her daughter. I’m not sure why you’re hanging around out there in Washington, but this is your home. This is where you belong. I want my son back.”

Then she stopped for a second, and he heard what he was convinced was a sob coming from the other end of the line. His anger melted away, leaving him floundering for a response that wouldn’t hurt her even more.

He couldn’t tell her the truth about what had happened back in Afghanistan. That was his burden to bear, not hers, not his father’s.

“I know you do, Mom. I’m trying. I really am.”

Another sob, but then her voice grew stronger. “When will you be here, Nick? And I won’t settle for some vague promise. Give me a date.”

“I can’t, Mom. Not yet. I should know more about my plans in a few days. When I do, I promise I’ll call.”

“But, Nick—”

Okay, now he was choking on the words he needed to say. “I’m doing fine. Okay, not fine, but better. Leif and I are doing some work on Spence’s house for Callie. It feels really good to be swinging a hammer again. Tell Dad all that time working for him is finally paying off for me.”

The silence from the other end of the line dragged on for several seconds. Finally, it sounded as if she was handing the phone off to someone.

“Nick, it’s Dad. What the hell did you say to your mom? She’s crying.”

“I told her I couldn’t promise to be back in time to escort her friend’s daughter around. I’m doing some work on Spence’s house for his friend Callie, and I’m not sure how long it will take. I promised to call more often and to let her know when my plans are set.”

“Damn it, Nick, she can’t sleep nights for worrying about you. Get your ass back here where it belongs.”

Okay, so much for controlling his temper. “Dad, I’m not some sixteen-year-old kid you can order around for breaking curfew. I’m a grown man and have been for a long time. I’m sorry I’m making Mom unhappy, but trust me when I tell you that I’m not ready to come home. It isn’t that I don’t want to. It’s that I can’t.”

He’d run out of breath and anger. Breathing in slowly, he hunted for the right words to make everyone happy. He couldn’t find them.

“Dad, tell Mom I’m sorry. I love you both, but right now I need to be here. When that changes, I’ll let you know.”

When he disconnected the call, he turned off the phone so he wouldn’t hear it if his dad tried to call right back. Later, when he had time to think things through a bit, he’d e-mail rather than call. It was easier to break their hearts when he didn’t have to hear his mom quietly crying in the background.

Right now, he needed a beer, or maybe several. He also needed to return Leif’s phone. Would he think Nick cowardly if he asked him to leave it off so that he wouldn’t have to deal with his parents right now?

Too effing bad if he did. Right now Nick’s nerves were raw, bleeding with the knowledge he was failing everyone who mattered. His parents were hurt and confused by the stranger wearing their son’s face. Leif wasn’t complaining, but he needed Nick to be strong enough to help him deal with what those plates and screws in his ankle really meant.

And Spence—well, it was too late to do right by him. Nick had made the choice that had gotten his friend killed. All the man had wanted was to come home to Callie. So in effect, Nick had failed her, too.

Standing here wasn’t accomplishing anything. Even knowing he couldn’t outrun the shadows on his soul, he needed to be moving. He’d hand off Leif’s phone and then hit the road. This time he’d walk away from town, losing himself in the beauty along the two-lane highways that wound through the foothills of the Cascades.

The idea might be spontaneous, but he wasn’t stupid. He’d take his phone just in case he got lost and bottled water to help wash the cobwebs of guilt and pain down his throat. His plans made, he finally turned around to face Leif, only to find his friend was gone.

In his place sat Callie and Mooch. Son of a bitch! How much of the one-sided conversation had she heard? Enough, considering the way she was staring at him with wide eyes, her expressive mouth turned down at the corners. Even Mooch watched him with that amazing stillness he sometimes had when he sensed someone was hurting.

Nick’s feet were nailed in place, just as unable to step forward as they were to make a run for it. So calling his parents back wasn’t the only thing he couldn’t muster up the courage to face.

This was ridiculous. He forced himself to move forward, knowing delaying the conversation wasn’t going to make it any easier. He stopped a few feet short of the steps where she sat, wanting at least that much distance between them.

“I’m going for a walk.”

She turned her attention to petting Mooch. “I’ll hold dinner until you get back.”

He didn’t want any favors. Didn’t deserve them. “I don’t know when that will be. You and Leif go ahead and eat without me.”

Callie gave the dog a quick squeeze and stood up. “Then I’ll keep your dinner warm, Nick. It will be here for you when you get back.”

She came down the steps, moving slowly as if worried she’d spook him into running. As tempting as it was, he held his ground because this was Callie, and on some instinctive level he knew he had nothing to fear from her.

“I’m going to hug you, Nick; then you can go on your walk. I’ll be waiting up for you.”

She meant it, but, then, she didn’t know the truth of what he’d cost her. That no matter how many gazebos he built or walls he painted, he could never give back the one thing she deserved to have. He turned away, unable to bear the burden of her innocent gaze.

But still she came, her hands coming to rest on his back, their warmth seeping through the thin cotton of his shirt to his skin. He shivered but held his ground, needing the benediction of her touch. She slid her hands down to his waist and then around him until her body gently pressed against his, her face resting against his back.

He had no sense of the time that passed, his whole world consisting only of an acute awareness of this woman and the gift of comfort she was offering him. That he didn’t deserve it didn’t make it any less welcome, but enough was enough.

“I’ll call you when I’m back.”

She gave him one last quick squeeze before stepping away. “Do that. Let Leif know I’ll bring over dinner at the usual time.”

In other words, don’t leave without letting Leif know where he was going. “I will.”

He marched up the steps as she crossed the yard, heading back to her parents’ house. “And, Callie, thanks.”

Her smile was a bit rueful. “You’re welcome, and if it’s any comfort, I’ve been ducking my parents, too.”

Her confession didn’t change anything, but at least it made him laugh.

•   •   •

Nick pounded the pavement. Each step that took him away from Callie was harder than the one before. He wanted to turn around and head straight back to her. The knowledge that he had no right to feel that way kept him moving forward long after his driving need to walk had disappeared.

Up ahead he spotted a flashing neon light.
Please, if there’s a god in heaven, let that be a bar.

It was. All the sign over the door said was
BEER
. Perfect. That was exactly what Nick was looking for. The parking lot was filled with some serious motorcycles and beat-up trucks with oversized tires. In his current mood, probably not the wisest choice of places to be without any backup. He’d have a quick beer, maybe a burger, and then start the long hike back to Spence’s place.

As soon as he stepped inside the door, he paused long enough to pull his dog tags out of his T-shirt. In the past, he’d found that even the toughest bastards in a biker bar were willing to accept a stranger in their midst if he was military. Sure enough, the two men at the nearest pool table straightened up and made a pretense of chalking their cues while they made up their mind whether to challenge his right to share their space.

The one on the left spoke first. “Where’d you serve?”

Nick rolled his shoulders, forcing himself to look far more relaxed than he was. “Two tours in the sandbox. I’m just back from my latest in Afghanistan.”

The other man gave the scar on Nick’s arm a pointed look. “You get that over there?”

“IED.”

He didn’t need to say more. Couldn’t have even if he wanted to. Besides, the expression on the man’s face made it clear he knew exactly what Nick was talking about.

“Cowardly bastards.”

The taller of the two walked around the pool table and stuck out his hand. “I’m Tim. He’s Kevin. We both did a couple of stints over there with the army rangers. Let me buy you a beer.”

Nick grinned and shook Tim’s hand. “Only if the second round is on me.”

“It’s a deal. You any good at pool? I can’t remember when I last had a decent opponent.”

Kevin protested. “Hey, moron, who won three out of five last night?”

“You did, but only because I took pity on you.”

Okay, so maybe this was Nick’s kind of place after all. A few beers, a couple of games of pool, and he’d head back home. He didn’t want to make Callie worry, and Leif would be pissed if Nick had too much fun without him.

He put his hand on his new best friend’s shoulder. “Rack ’em up, Tim, and we’ll see who really knows how to play.”

Tim lifted his beer in salute. “It’s a deal.”

•   •   •

Callie checked her watch for the millionth time. The hour hand had just edged past midnight. Nick had been gone for close to eight hours, and still no sign of him. She’d given up on keeping his dinner warm and tossed it in the trash. “If he’s not back in half an hour, I’m calling Gage.”

Leif was already shaking his head. “Nick is a big boy, Callie. We would have heard by now if something was wrong. He’ll come dragging in sooner or later. When he does, I’ll kick his ass for worrying you like this. Or better yet, maybe I’ll use that hammer he’s been swinging to knock some sense into that thick skull of his.”

She laughed but didn’t really mean it. “You’ll have to stand in line. I want first crack at him. He has to know I’d—no, we’d both be worried sick by now.”