A Time to Love (22 page)

"Is something bothering you, Matthew?"

"I wish that my parents had been able to meet you."

"I wish that my parents had met you, too."

"Actually, I met your father once," he admitted after a long moment.

"You did? When?"

"When he came to get you that last summer."

She blinked. "I didn't know. He never said anything."

Matthew hesitated. "I don't think he liked me, Jenny."

"Oh, I doubt that, Matthew. It was probably just that fathers never like the boys who pay attention to their daughters."

He shot her a rueful look. "If you say so."

Something bright golden yellow distracted her. "Oh, look! Daffodils! I love daffodils! They're my favorite."

She turned to him. "Except for that beautiful rose Phoebe brought to me in the hospital from you."

"I wish that I could have gone there to be with you."

"You needed to stay here. And I wasn't away long."

"It felt like months," he told her.

She slipped her arm through his and hugged it. "What a sweet thing to say. But it was enough that my grandmother came with me. It's been good to spend time with her after us not being seeing each other much through the years."

"And she'll be close by when you move into my house."

"I told her she may need to invite us over often until my cooking gets better."

"Your cooking is good."

"You have an iron stomach and a forgiving nature," she told him with a wry smile. "Oh, here we are."

The therapy was painful and hard, as it always was the first visit after surgery. If Mac thought it would be different, he was wrong. But Jenny was even more determined than last time. "I want to walk without a cane when I get married," she told the therapist.

"Oh, wow, you're engaged! That's wonderful!"

The woman looked at Jenny's left hand. "You didn't get your ring yet? Oh, wait, are you engaged to that handsome Amish guy who brings you? They don't do engagement or wedding rings, do they? Well, finding the right man is the most important part, right? You know what I mean."

Jenny smiled. "Right."

There were familiar-looking paper bags sitting in the buggy when Jenny came out.

"McDonalds? Did my grandmother tell you it's my weakness?"

"She said your friend Joy made you happy sneaking their food into the hospital."

Jenny nodded. Looking at the bag again, she laughed. "Now that's a picture I never visualized. Did you go through the drive-through?"

Smiling, he shook his head. "No, I went inside. There's a spot nearby where I thought we could park and eat."

When he pulled the buggy over a short time later, she saw that he'd found a place where daffodils had sprung up.

"How thoughtful," she whispered. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Reaching into one of the bags, he brought out a cheeseburger and handed it to her.

Jenny looked into the bag next to her. "Oh, good, french fries. If you hadn't gotten fries, I'd have to reevaluate whether you were the right man for me."

He laughed. "If Annie finds out that we had McDonalds without her, she'll be unhappy with both of us," he told her, biting into his Big Mac.

"Hannah invited me to come over tomorrow and talk about the routine at your house." Jenny squeezed some ketchup on her fries. "Matthew, I wish she would reconsider her decision to move out when we're married."

"There is no arguing with Hannah about this." He finished his fries and reached over to steal one of hers. "She feels you need to be the woman of the house, the mother the children are expecting."

"Mother," she said softly. "I like the sound of that."

"I'll remind you of that when they're not on their best behavior."

"Be careful how you talk about my children," she admonished."And don't try to steal any more of my fries."

"Look at that!" he exclaimed. "I have never seen one of those come out before spring is here."

Jenny turned to look. "I don't see anything."

But, out of the corner of her eye, she saw movement. When she turned back, he was popping several fries into his mouth.

"Matthew! I didn't know you were a french fry thief!" She eyed him. "What else don't I know about you?"

His grin faded. "Jenny? Are you having second thoughts?"

"Well, I don't know. A french fry thief. I'll have to think about this."

"A woman who would not share a few french fries with her hard-working husband-to-be," he said soberly. "Perhaps I should think about this, too."

He was the first to laugh and with a jerk of the reins, he set the buggy moving.

"Can I drive?"

"Have you ever done it before?" He stopped at what he said and chuckled as he shook his head. "Of course not. There are no buggies in New York City, are there?"

She bit her lip, suppressing her smile. "But it's something I need to learn to do, right?"

He looked pointedly at her fries.

"You drive a hard bargain." She handed him the box.

He showed her how to indicate direction to Pilot, his horse. It was surprisingly easy and very calming to drive the buggy. Matthew sat beside her munching his fries—hers, really—and nodding approvingly when she looked over to see how she was doing.

"Life's funny, don't you think?" she asked as she gazed out at the fields beside the road.

"Funny?"

"I could never have imagined what's happening to my life now," she said. "Not in a million years."

"That is what is amazing about God," he told her. "He can imagine better things, bigger things for us than we can." He thought for a moment. "In Corinthians, it says we can't know what God has prepared for those who love Him."

When they arrived at her grandmother's house, a moving van was just leaving.

"My things!" Jenny cried. She got out of the buggy before Matthew could help her and pushed her walker ahead of her.

Phoebe looked up when Jenny opened the door. "You just missed the moving men. I told them to put the boxes in your room. I hope you can still get in there to sleep."

"I didn't pack that much."

Her grandmother smiled. "I didn't think so until they put them in that room."

"I need to get back home," Matthew told them.

"That sounds like you don't want to help me unpack."

"It would not be seemly to visit your bedroom," he said, backing toward the door.

"Men are the same no matter where you find them," Jenny said wryly as he left.

"I'll help you unpack. Sit and rest for a few minutes before you do it. You look tired."

"Therapy wore me out." She pushed the walker out of the way as she sat down at the table. "I was just joking with Matthew. I can unpack the boxes myself."

Phoebe brought two mugs of coffee to the table. "So, are you looking forward to having your things around you?"

Jenny nodded. "I was thinking about that. The things I had sent, I mean. I know that brides here take many things to their new home. Linens and house goods they've embroidered and that family members have given them for their future home. I don't have any of that. I suppose I could have brought more things from my apartment but they didn't seem right here."

"Where you sent them, the women's shelter, that was a good place for them, a good thing to do. You have a generous heart. Besides, I can't think of anything Matthew's home needs that it does not have. Once you move in as his wife, you'll see what you need and we'll make it or shop for it."

Jenny went to her room and as her grandmother had warned, there wasn't much space to navigate. She lay down on the bed, grateful for a place to rest until she could begin unpacking. Therapy had been painful, but the memory of how it had helped in the past made her hopeful. Mac had promised she would walk at her wedding if she worked hard at therapy.

She found herself thinking about what Matthew had said earlier about Josiah objecting to her joining the church. It troubled her that she'd made an enemy in him. Matthew had been upset about it enough to say he'd go outside the church to marry her. He was a calm, rational man, her Matthew; if he was reacting the way he was, it made her worry. This was a time when they should have been happily making plans to marry, getting to know each other better, doing fun things together as a couple and with the children. Instead, they had to be concerned with whether their union would, in effect, be blessed by the church, which Matthew had made a part of his everyday life.

Exhausted, she fell asleep, only to toss and turn. She dreamed of trying to run from something, but her balky legs wouldn't cooperate. She heard footsteps behind her, someone running and coming closer and closer, and when she turned to look, she saw Josiah picking up stones and throwing them after her. They struck her in the back, hurting, slowing her, and she called for Matthew to help.

She woke to find her cheeks wet with tears. Sleep was such a blessing, but would the nightmares end after she'd proved herself in the community?

W
aiting.

Jenny had never been good at it. Having to sit around and heal for months so far hadn't helped. Perhaps she should have learned patience from the experience. But once she'd started feeling better, once she knew she had a future with Matthew, she just wanted to get on with it.

She had to admit to herself that once or twice she thought about what he'd said about their getting married outside the church. The trouble was, she knew his faith was too important to him and it had become important to her. She told herself that good things were worth waiting for.

So she tried to be patient and focus on each day and enjoy it.

Matthew's suggestion that she write a book had been brilliant. Writing was cathartic for her. The words seemed to pour out, and for the time she was writing, she didn't think of anything else. What she was saying was too important.

But when the intensity got to her, when her body was resisting hours spent sitting, writing, she found herself feeling restless and directionless. She'd always known where she was going and depended on herself for what she wanted. Now it felt that things were out of her hands.

Her grandmother noticed and, bless her, kept suggesting things Jenny could do that wouldn't tax her. One day, Hannah even came by to invite her to see Matthew's home.

Jenny had barely had time to knock when Hannah opened the door.

Hannah smiled. "Welcome home." She leaned forward to kiss Jenny's cheek.

Touched, Jenny kissed her future sister-in-law's cheek."What a sweet thing to say."

"It
will
be your home," Hannah told her. "I thought you might want to know more about the children, about the house, about the daily routine." She shut the door and then turned to search Jenny's face. "Jenny, I hope that there are no hard feelings between us for what you overheard the day you came home."

"We're fine," Jenny told her without reservation. She hugged Hannah and then stood back, smiling. "I feel like you're the
schweschder
I never had."

"I feel that way, too."

They took a tour of the comfortable old farmhouse, which was scrupulously clean. Mary and Annie shared a room where their beds were neatly made, covered with colorful quilts their mother had sewn for them. Annie's favorite bedtime storybook lay on hers. Joshua's room was next door, and it was as neat as the girls' room, his bed covered with a quilt of many shades of blue.

Hannah's room was small, not much bigger than the children's rooms. It was plain in
Englisch
standards, but Hannah had added a bright quilt in the star pattern and she'd put a vase of daffodils on the dresser. Afternoon light filtered in through a large window and gave it such a peaceful air.

"This could be a room for another
kind,"
she told Jenny a little shyly. "Maybe a
sohn
since Joshua feels a little overwhelmed by two
schweschders."

Jenny bit her lip, and she took a deep breath. "I'm not sure that will happen, Hannah. I had some internal damage. The doctor says—"

"They don't know everything," Hannah interjected. "God
knows.
It doesn't matter what the doctors say. If it is God's will for you to have a
kind,
you and Matthew will have a
kind."

"I hope you're right." Jenny glanced around the room.

Finally, Hannah showed Jenny Matthew's room. A big bed with a hand-carved headboard dominated the room; there were three matching dressers as well. Jenny asked if Matthew had carved them as some of the men did here during times when they weren't busy with farming or other occupations, especially during the quiet winter months, and Hannah nodded.

Jenny knew not to expect photographs of the children, but having been to the home of her friends David and Joy where framed photos of Sam were everywhere, she still noticed it. She knew the cultures were different and she respected that.

They returned to the kitchen, the room in Matthew's house that Jenny had grown to love for the wonderful memories.

"I made tea and some blueberry friendship bread," Hannah told Jenny as she served the bread with pots of fruit preserves.

"Mmm, this is delicious," Jenny told her after sampling it."Why's it called friendship bread?"

"A friend gave me a loaf of the bread and the recipe with a crock of starter," she said.

"Sort of like the kind of starter stuff that sourdough bread is made with?"

"Yes. So then you have what you need to make the bread for yourself and for friends. And it gets passed down and down through friends and family."

She handed Jenny a napkin-wrapped loaf of the bread with a small crock.

"Oh, but you can't give me yours."

"This is a new crock, with some of my starter, just for you. So you can make the friendship bread, too."

Jenny took the crock and stared at it for a moment, then she looked at Hannah. More than a recipe was being given, and Jenny wasn't sure she could tell Hannah how much it meant to her.

"You've been such a good friend to me," Jenny said quietly."No, more than a friend. You've welcomed me and never thought about what would happen to you if Matthew and I decided to marry."

Hannah smiled. "I like you for yourself, Jenny, but I love you for what you've brought out in my brother. You're good for him. You're good for the children."

"I know what it's like to have your mother die when you're young. I know what it's like to feel that pain."

"This house is filled with love and laughter again, and it's because of you. I can move now and know that I'm leaving a happy family."

"But I feel like I'm pushing you out," Jenny said. "I want you to stay and be part of our family. You're a wonderful woman, Hannah. Surely the loving sacrifice you made will be rewarded."

"
Lieb
is never a sacrifice," Hannah told her with a smile. She hesitated for a moment. "Jenny, Phoebe and I have been friends for many years. She asked me if I wanted to move into her house, and I've decided to accept her generous offer."

"Oh, my!" Jenny stared at her. "What a wonderful idea!"

"You don't mind?"

"Mind? I think it's the perfect solution!" She threw her arms around Hannah. "Just think, both my grandmother and my best friend right next door. What could be better?" She glanced at the window. "Have you told Matthew?"

"Not yet. I wanted to make sure you didn't mind."

Jenny smiled. "Let's tell him at supper. I know he and the children will be delighted you'll be so close."

"
Allrecht,"
Hannah said, nodding.

"Can I ask you something?"

"
Schur."

"It's very personal."

Hannah touched her hand lying on the table. "I've asked you enough questions. What is it you want to know?"

"Did you not marry because you've been so busy helping Matthew with the house and children?"

Conflicting emotions chased across Hannah's face. "I told you, love isn't a sacrifice. I told you that before. I just haven't found the right mann."

"What are you looking for?"

Hannah laughed. "You make it sound like I should make a list."

"Why not?" Jenny asked. She propped her elbow on the table and cupped her cheek in her hand as she studied Hannah's blushing face. "I have friends who've done that then found the man they married." She glanced at the pad of paper held by a magnetic clip on the refrigerator. "Grab that pad and find a pencil."

"This is silly." But as Jenny continued to stare at her, Hannah got up to do as she was asked. She took her seat at the table again.

"Okay. The right
mann
loves God as much as I do and makes Him the Head of our household. He's honest and kindhearted and generous. He loves me and the
kinner
we'll have. He's a hard worker and . . ." She looked up at Jenny. "What else?"

"He's handsome and makes your heart flutter."

Hannah's laugh filled the kitchen. "Well, I don't think my heart has ever fluttered. That sounds like it might be hazardous."

Jenny smiled. "I assure you it's a wonderful feeling. Mine flutters every time I look at Matthew."

"I like the way the two of you look at each other. When you talk about each other."

"Me too," Jenny confessed, knowing she probably looked goofy in love.

Hannah chewed on her lip as she reread the list she'd been composing. Then she glanced back up at Jenny, her eyes twinkling."You know who this reminds me of?"

"Matthew," they said at the same time and laughed.

"You couldn't do better than to find a man like him," Jenny said.

"Did you make a list?"

Jenny shook her head. "No, all I did was visit my grandmother and there he was, right next door." She stopped and laughed. "He was the boy next door." When her future sisterin-law looked blank, she explained what that meant.

"So even though some of your friends write wish lists, you let God bring you the man he set aside for you?"

"I guess I did. Huh," Jenny said, thinking about it.

"And then God brought you back here at the right time, for you to be with Matthew forever."

Forever.
Jenny liked the sound of that.

Matthew was stepping out of the barn when he saw Jenny enter his home.

Their
home soon.

He wanted to go say hello, to have his day brightened by her smile. But he also wanted to let the two women he loved talk about the time when Jenny would come to this house to live and Hannah would go on to her own life.

When Jenny had first returned, Hannah had spoken against her, he remembered. She'd felt she needed to warn him about why he should not renew his relationship with Jenny. He'd been unhappy with her for being so uncharacteristically judgmental and had feared that she would not be friendly. But Hannah's reservations had seemed to evaporate almost immediately. She'd been happy at the news they were to be wed, too. In fact, more than once he'd seen her exchanging a look with Phoebe.

Matthew stopped in his tracks.
Had Hannah and Phoebe been guilty of matchmaking?
He would have to ask them, although if they had, he wondered if they'd admit it.

There was plenty to do as he waited so that he wouldn't look as though he was some lovesick youth, unable to be away from the woman he loved. Then Jenny saved him when she came out to the barn to find him. She must have really wanted to see him since she moved slowly across the yard with her walker.

"We thought you might like to stop for coffee. If you have time."

He nodded. "I have time. How is it going, this talk the two of you are having?"

"Wonderful," she said. "She went over the children's routine and gave me some of their favorite recipes."

"Joshua likes food, period," he told her. "Much like me. The girls are a little more particular, but they eat almost anything Hannah makes."

"That's because she's a great cook."

Pilot whinnied and stuck his head out of his stall.

"Hi, boy." Jenny walked slowly over to him and stroked his head.

"He's probably hoping we'll go for a ride today."

"Not today," Jenny told the horse. "But I'll bring you an apple before I leave."

She looked around the interior of the barn. It was, like everything else on the farm, neat and well cared for.

Matthew shut the barn door after they walked outside. She watched him look out at the fields. Slipping her arm through his, she did the same.

"Bet you can't wait to get to the planting."

"I admit to being a little restless."

She'd come to know that he was a man of action, one who loved the hard work of this farm. Thankfully, she didn't shy from work either. Although Plain children grew up knowing they were expected to do chores every day—and not to get allowances—Jenny knew even before she'd talked to Hannah that taking care of a family on this farm would be a lot of work.

But she couldn't imagine anything she looked forward to more.

"Jenny, there's something I want to say to you."

She stopped and looked at him.

"I want you to be comfortable here, to feel that it's your home," he said quietly. "Every woman should have her home the way she wants it. You and I could pick out new paint and wallpaper, and I'll do the work before you come here."

"Matthew, no! I wouldn't want to upset the children by making them think I'm taking over, that I'm pushing their mother away."

"They won't think that. They love you and want you to live here. And you shouldn't feel that you're taking over their mother's home. The children understand that she lives in heaven now and you'll be their mother here on earth."

She was humbled by his saying that. Smiling at him, she squeezed his arm.

"Let me tell you how they behaved when you didn't come home on the day we expected."

He sat her down on a bale of hay and told her about the night all three children had been upset and he'd had to calm then down. Tears threatened her own eyes as she listened.

"I am so blessed," she whispered. "They are such wonderful children."