A Wedding to Remember: Switched at Marriage Part 1 (6 page)

I rolled my eyes. But there was just enough truth to his statement. "And I like my men humble, too."

"Not from what I've seen." He looked up from the dog and arched an eyebrow. "Eric, humble? Really?"

"Shut up." I leaned down and petted Data. "He has his humble moments." I bit my lip as I did a little thinking of my own. I actually couldn't remember a single second when Eric had shown any humility at all. I changed the subject. "You'll have to meet my parents
and
friends."

He shrugged again.

"No, you don't
get
it. Like, you'll really have to fool them. Head-on, headlong, award-winning performance of your life to sell this whirlwind romance. To my entire set of friends and whole family. Some members of my family have IQs as high as yours." The thought of him convincing my family made me tingle with anxiety.

"You mean your cousin Dex?" He shook his head like he was unimpressed.

"And my uncle and aunt, and Mom and Dad. And my best friend Brittany has more emotional intelligence than you have IQ points. She can smell an emotional fake from across the city. She's probably already sniffed us out as pretenders. You'll have to fool her.

"You should be scared. Very, very scared. Neither group will be easy to pull the wool over. My parents will expect responsibility and common goals. That kind of crap. My friends will expect tons of affection and passion between us. Like hands-all-over passion. Anything short of that fails their smell test."

"Okay." He agreed too readily, but his face was a mask.

I squinted at him, unable to figure him out. Was he into me or not? Cocky or just scared? "How did it happen?"

"What?"

"The wedding." I scooped up the puppy and held her in my lap so I could get his full attention. Cute baby animals were such attention grabbers. "Before I call everyone I need to know
all
the details—what I wore, where it was held, the flowers. Was there cake? Who stood up for us?"

Data sank down in my lap and kneaded my thighs with her tiny paws as I petted and cooed to her.

"How the hell do I know any of this?" he said, his tone indifferent. As if the details didn't matter and were of no interest to anyone. "I was blacked out, apparently."

"And yet this marriage is somehow legal."

Data rested her head on her paws and yawned.

"I put a PI on it after you left me in the middle of our wedding night."

"
I
didn't leave you. Just remember that." It seemed important he understood that. I still got the feeling he didn't believe that I hadn't married him. "What did the PI find out? Are there any pictures?"

Justin shook his head and looked ruefully at the dog. "They say we came in slightly bombed."

I arched an eyebrow. "Slightly? Seriously?"

"Totally shitfaced."

I laughed. "That's better. It doesn't sound like me, but that's better. And?"

"We bought the cheapest wedding package. Refused to have our picture taken, even when the paid witness offered to snap one on our phones. And strolled, or maybe staggered, out of the chapel, laughing all the way."

"Nice."

"And they think you wore a pink dress."

"Thank God for that," I said. "At least I look good in pink." I had another moment of panic. "What about the ring? What did you use for a ring? Should I have it?"

He looked a little sheepish. "According to the highly reliable witness, I used my Order of the Engineer ring."

I gave him a puzzled look and my heart stopped. I had no idea what an order of the engineer ring was. Part of me didn't want to know. If it was customized like a class ring, we were sunk. "Is it distinctive? That could be a problem—"

He shook his head. "No. It's a plain stainless steel ring. There's no way to identify it as mine." He held up his right hand and wiggled his baby finger where a totally plain, thin stainless steel band glinted unimpressively in the light. "Like this one. We wear them on our baby fingers."

"You got another one already?"

"I ordered an extra before the initiation ceremony," he said. "I have a habit of losing rings."

I held my ring-empty hand out to him like a princess giving her hand to a knight for a kiss. "Hand it over and slip it on me."

He took my hand and reluctantly slid the ring off his finger. Then, it may have been my imagination, but his hand trembled as he slipped his ring on my left ring finger.

"It fits perfectly." I was surprised and let it show. As I tried to pull my hand from his, he bent and kissed my ring finger. His mouth was warm and his touch surprisingly tender—surprising period. My heart raced as his mouth met my fingers and his beard tickled my skin.

"My hand feels empty without that ring." How did he make that simple statement sound so romantic? As if he'd given his prize possession to me.

The dog shifted in my lap. "We'll order you another one."

I held my hand up to admire my new piece of jewelry, if you could call it that, and suppressed a frown. For an improvised ring, it wasn't bad. Better than a cigar band. Or a rubber band. For a wedding ring from a billionaire, it pretty much sucked big time. "The bigger problem is that we'll have to hope no one noticed you wearing this one for the last few days."

"People are surprisingly unobservant. I wouldn't worry about it. Besides, I can claim I was wearing a spare and then I lost that one." He must have seen my look of disappointment, even though I'd tried to hide it. "We'll get you another one, a real wedding ring."

"This one's fine." I put my hand down and tucked it under my legs.

"No, it isn't." His voice was tender and firm at the same time. "You're obviously my trophy wife. You need a trophy ring."

"Jus, you do realize you married an older woman? Aren't trophy wives usually younger?" I had to be three or four years older than he was. "How old are you, anyway?" I hadn't thought about his age until now.

"Twenty-one."

Crap, I was a cradle robber. A cougar at nearly twenty-five. "A baby." I leaned in to whisper to him again in my flirty voice. "At least you're drinking age."

"Is that an insult?"

"Maybe."

"Statistically, it's smart of you to marry a younger man. Less chance of being a widow."

I shrugged. "Of course you have a smart wife. A brilliant wife. Top of my class, so you know. And no wisecracks about my choice of degree. But it doesn't matter. We'll be divorced long before our twilight years and lifespan statistics catch up to us." I twisted the cheap ring on my finger. "I'll give this fine piece of jewelry back…when this is over. Back to our story. The details?"

He got that embarrassed look again. "I was drinking alone, and pretty hammered already, when you approached me at the bar. I bought you a drink, and then another. We drank until we were both plastered. Then one of us, I think it was you, thought we should be spontaneous and do something crazy."

"No." I shook my head vehemently.

His brow furrowed. "What? That's what the PI pieced together. As I say, I don't remember a thing past getting smashed at the bar. You think you wouldn't ask me to marry you? I'm a billionaire. Everyone wants me."

"No. Yeah. Whatever. I would
not
ask you to marry me, billionaire or not. When I get married—"

"You are married."

I ignored him. "—for real, I will expect the guy to do the proposing. In some
romantic
way." I paused for effect. "We have another problem."

"What?" He looked genuinely worried that I'd come up with a deal breaker. Even though I'd just signed the deal. "Everyone knows I would never elope. I've been planning my wedding since I was five. Maybe before. I even have a secret Pinterest board where I pin my latest preferences and ideas."

He held my gaze and his voice went soft. "People do crazy stuff when they're in love." It was almost as if he was talking about himself.

I ignored it. He was probably toying with me. I motioned between the two of us. "Like you and me?"

He nodded. "And marrying a billionaire? Who insisted on getting married right away? Who could resist that?"

I rolled my eyes, but I was smiling at him. "You're incorrigible. But I guess we'll have to run with it. What about your friends and family? How hard will they be to convince?"

He shrugged. "My friends will high-five me. My brothers will give me crap. And Mom and Dad will be suspicious that you married me for my money. And possibly hostile about it." His self-deprecating humor was sweet, but there was an edge to it.

"And they'd be right. Kind of." I scrunched my mouth to one side, like I did when I was unhappy and trying to deal with it. "We'll deal with that later if we have to. Will they want to meet me?"

"Sure. When we're all in town."

"They won't be surprised and eager to meet the girl who stole their little boy's heart?"

"I'm no one's 'little' boy and never have been." His voice was hard. "I do what I want. When I want. And don't give a damn what people think. They're used to my eccentricities."

I frowned, not sure I believed him. But he believed what he was saying. That much was clear. "The good news is I won't really
have
to impress them. If they don't like me, it will be that much easier for them when we get divorced next year."

He winced. I swore he did.

I took a breath. "Ring. Dress. Witnesses," I said, ticking off wedding elements. "Have we missed anything I need to know? Flowers?"

"Roses. Red."

"Almost like a poem. Good. Though not terribly creative. Vows?"

"Standard, I think."

"Did I promise to…love you…through sickness and health?" Why had I stumbled on the word
love
?

"I assume so."

"Wedding night?"

He gave me a deadpan stare. "Your parents are going to ask about that? Are they going to want to see the sheets and make sure you were a virgin, too?"

I gave him a gentle shove. "Virgin! Ha ha. I meant, what hotel were we in? Did we have the honeymoon suite?"

"Same hotel we both were staying in for business. We went back to my room." He looked almost apologetic. "It was a suite, at least."

I shook my head. "This is going to be a hard sell. Ready to have some fun? Let's call my parents!"

J
ustin

Next to me, Kayla pulled her phone from her purse without disturbing the puppy. I realized with a jolt that I was outnumbered by females. In my own home. And I'd brought it on myself. Data was curled cozily in Kayla's lap. I'd signed myself up for a bargain with the devil. If this scheme failed, I was in danger of losing the dog
to
the girl at the end of the year.

Kayla turned her heart-melting, yet beautifully devious, smile on me. She was like Eve tempting me to eat the apple. "The minute I turn this thing on, all hell is going to break loose again."

I couldn't disagree. "Nonstop calls. Texts with a dozen exclamation points. Curious friends and family. Worried parents. Bring them on."

After the last three years getting Flashionista off the ground, anything else was child's play. Even calling her parents and lying my ass off.

My phone was off, too. I hadn't turned it off since I'd started Flashionista with Riggins. This was serious shit for me.

"A fearless man?" Kayla arched one eyebrow. "A hero. I like it." She grabbed my arm. Damn, I was too aware of her touch as she stared seriously into my eyes. "Let
me
do the talking."

She laughed. "I'm an adult. Totally self-sufficient and off on my own. Why do I feel like I'm back in kindergarten about to be scolded for pinching a boy and ending up in the principal's office?" She bumped me playfully with her shoulder. I prickled with awareness of her. "I'm going to put it on speakerphone. If they know you can hear them, they'll behave themselves."

She grinned devilishly as she hit the on button. "Once Mom picks up, prepare to be yelled at. In the highest-pitched voice human ears can hear. Mom perfected the art of screeching. But she's basically harmless. It means she's worried, that's all." She took a deep breath. "Here goes."

"Kayla Marie Lucas! At last.
Thank goodness
." The relief in her mom's voice was palpable. And shrill.

"Hey, Mom!" Kayla winked at me and mouthed,
Told you so
. She smiled as if her mom's reaction amused her. As if it were the most natural thing in the world. "Is Daddy around? I have some news."

Daddy?
I mouthed back, unable to decide if that was sweet or needy. Or purely playful. And whether I was up against an overprotective father who doted on his daddy's girl and would come after me with his shotgun. Too late for that, apparently. I'd already married her. What was he going to do? Make me un-marry her?

"Don't
Hey, Mom
me. And your
daddy
is not going to save you. So you can stop that blatant manipulation. No teasing. No playful horsing around. This is
serious
. He's Dad to you, thank you very much." There was the mom voice.

Kayla's kindergarten reference had been entirely appropriate. I grinned at her.

"I saw your
news
on the news," her mom said in a huff. "I want to know one thing—is it true? Did you marry that
boy
?"

Boy?
I mouthed to Kayla and made a muscle, pointing to it and flexing to show her I was
not
a boy.

She squeezed my bicep like it was ripe fruit. Damn, her simple touch made me horny as hell. I was a man lost.

She made a kissy mouth at me and flashed me a thumbs-up. I was in real danger of losing control and actually kissing her. Like a dumb shit who thought her flirting was real. We were partners in crime. Two people sharing a secret. In on a gag. Coconspirators. That was all. The temptation to just do it was too strong. I blamed my family and all their damned sporting events. I had to force my gaze away from her shiny, pink, high-gloss lips as her mom rattled on.

"I told your dad
—
seriously, Kayla, he's on my side on this one—I told him this must be one of those ridiculous tabloid stories run amok, the ones that are pure fiction. Totally made up because the facts don't matter. Just the sensation it makes."

I was feeling a lot of sensations, too.

Her mom's sigh was heavy. "Probably a slow news day in the city. Our beautiful, romantic girl marrying that nerdy friend of Dex's? Simply ridiculous! Why would you? You're no mercenary bitch. You'd never marry a man
just
for his money. There would have to be
more
to it. And what other reason could there possibly be with a friend of Dex's?"

I held my hands out, pointed to myself, and raised my eyebrows, like
What
is
she talking about? Look at this hot hunk of manhood?

Kayla put a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.

"I love that boy. Dex is like a son to me. But…his friends? Not exactly heartthrobs, are they? I told your dad it makes no sense. Unless our crazy nephew is pranking us all again. I can see Dex doing something like this, calling in a bogus news story for the fun of it. Because he's bored.

"I reminded your dad you had food poisoning over the weekend. Remember? You called us sick as a dog from Reno. All upset your boss was going to fire you. We had to talk you down from that tree." She sighed into the phone again. "That damned Eric! I blame him. I could throttle that boy."

For the food poisoning? Her thoughts were random and her argument incoherent. But at least Eric was a boy in her opinion, too. I didn't feel so bad now. I was in good company?

"I'm sick to death of the rollercoaster he's put you on since you met him. You're up. You're down—"

"Mom. The news story is true. I married Justin." Some of the enthusiasm and amusement left Kayla's voice. As if she had regained the sense of gravity over what she'd done.

My heart pounded. I was as nervous as a real prospective bridegroom asking for a daughter's hand.

On the other end of the phone, her mom gasped dramatically. "No! I'm warning you, if you're pranking me, too, I'm cutting you out of our will and leaving everything to charity." Her mom laughed, nervously. Hopefully. As if she wanted to believe Kayla was in on the joke.

At least she wasn't drooling over my money.

"Sorry, Mom. I did. I eloped with him in Reno." Kayla glanced at me and sighed.

"No! No, no, no,
no
! You didn't. You did not. I don't believe you. Eloping? This is so not like you, the girl who's been planning her dream wedding since she was in the womb."

She paused as if she was trying to compose herself. "How could you? Your dad and I had first right of refusal on all future sons-in-law." Her voice caught. She sounded as if she was trying not to cry. As if she was fighting to be reasonable. "Whatever possessed you to marry a billionaire on the rebound? Eric is
not
worth throwing your life away over."

Throwing her life away over? We were off to a good start. Obviously, I wasn't their first choice for a son-in-law. I looked at Kayla. At the mention of Eric, she'd looked away and gotten tears in her eyes. Damn him.

Whatever anyone thought, I was
not
worse than Eric. At least marriage to me wasn't a life sentence with a cheating idiot.

"I'm sorry, Mom. It happened so fast." She glanced at me and winked. "I didn't marry Justin out of spite. You have to believe me. That's the absolute truth."

"Why
did
you marry him?" her mom said.

A male voice came on the line. "It's all right, Debbie. Give it a rest. Let the girl explain. We'll sort this out. What's going on, Lala?"

Lala?
I mouthed to Kayla, trying to cheer her up and lighten the mood. I was instantly in love with her nickname.

Long story,
she mouthed back. "Hey, Daddy!"

"Our daughter married a geeky friend of Dex's," Debbie said. "I don't believe you didn't do it to get back at Eric, Kayla. Why else would you—" Her mom muttered something to herself. "That's not something else you want to tell us before the news does, is there?"

Kayla looked like she was trying not to laugh. "I'm not pregnant, if that's what you mean."

"Thank goodness for that!" Her mom's sigh of relief could have been heard in Kansas.

So she wasn't looking forward to geeky grandbabies fathered by me, either.

"Why can't you just accept that I'm a grown woman, Mom?" Kayla said. "This is my life. I can marry whom I like. And I wanted to marry Justin. I don't have to explain my reasons. I don't even have to have any reasons." She paused and smiled at me, as if this was a grand joke. "I love him, Mom."

My heart tripped over itself, even though I knew she was lying. I would have to watch my new wife. She was a cool liar.

"Love him?" Her mom scoffed. "How could you love him? Love takes time to grow. You don't even
know
him. You haven't mentioned him in years. If only you'd called us, we would have talked sense into you and stopped you." Her mom couldn't stop lamenting the loss.

Kayla looked away. "Justin is sitting next to me. He can hear everything you say. I probably should have mentioned that upfront." She laughed lightly, as if she was trying to relieve the tension. "He'd like to talk to you."

Debbie went silent immediately. Kayla mouthed,
Secret weapon
to me and held her phone between us with her head bent over it. She held it up closer to my lips and whispered, "Say something. This is your chance. Impress them."

Our foreheads nearly brushed. I wanted to kiss her so badly it hurt. She shot me an encouraging smile. In her lap, Data made a happy puppy snort.

What does a guy say in a situation like this? My mouth went dry at the thought of reality. I cleared my throat, nervous as hell. I hadn't been this anxious since I was selling the value of Flashionista to our initial investors. Very little made me jittery any more.

"Mrs. Lucas. Mr. Lucas. This…this…beautiful thing took us by surprise, too. I know it seems quick and sudden to you. I hear your doubts about Kayla being on the rebound. If I were a parent, I'd probably have the same concerns.

"But you haven't seen us together. Seen how much we love each other. I
love
, Kayla. I love your daughter.

"Do you believe in love at first sight? I do. I fell in love with her the moment she walked into my class in college. From the minute I laid eyes on her.

"I don't have to date her for years to know she's the girl for me. I've learned in business, sometimes you feel it in your gut when something is right and meant to be. You have to seize the moment before it passes you by. I'm going to treat your daughter right and do everything in my power to make her happy. I'll be a good husband to her. I give you my word."

I glanced at Kayla. She didn't meet my eye.

"Look on the bright side," I said into the silent phone. "I may not be much to look at, but I have boatloads of money. I can definitely afford a wife. Even one who likes to shop."

Kayla bumped me with her shoulder and mouthed,
Shut up
. I winked at her.

Her dad laughed. "Kayla does like to shop."

"We have as good a shot as any couple." I was lying through my teeth. The odds of my success were abysmal.

There was a moment of stunned silence where no one seemed to know what to say. I prided myself on my debating skills. I'd made a convincing case. From the look on Kayla's face, I knew I had.

"Dad? Mom?" Kayla shrugged, like
What's going on?

"Yeah?" Debbie's voice was softer and calmer now.

"We were going to tell you," Kayla said. "But we wanted to do it in person. Somehow the news leaked to the media and they beat us to it. And, for the record, I really did have food poisoning."

"I'll bet that made for an interesting wedding night," my new father-in-law said. "If a marriage can survive the complete lack of romance and mystery of puking, maybe you stand a chance, after all."

Now
there
was a vote of confidence.

Her mom still wasn't buying it. "Nice try, Kayla. But when you elope, it's common courtesy to call your parents. If you tell me you're already having second thoughts and are thinking about getting divorced after four days—" The words were harsh, but Debbie's tone was soft and almost confused. It was like she had rehearsed a speech and was plowing ahead with it when she'd already lost confidence with the message, but didn't know what else to say.

"No, Mom." Kayla glanced at me guiltily. "We're not getting divorced."

I shouldn't have done it, but I caught Kayla's free hand in mine and squeezed it.

"We'll have to throw a reception," her mom said, as if that settled things. "As soon as possible. People will expect a reception. And, of course, we want to meet Justin."

"You've met him before, Mom."

"You know what I mean. As someone special. A member of the family." Debbie's voice trembled. "We want to see this great love for ourselves. Come for dinner. When's good? How about tonight? I can throw something together in a jiffy."

Kayla glanced at me for confirmation as I pulled up my calendar and made a show of looking at it. I knew full well I had a commitment. "Can't tonight. Sorry. Meeting I can't miss."

"You can't get out of it?" She pouted prettily.

I shook my head. "Afraid not." It was unfortunate timing, but I'd been looking forward to this for a while. I couldn't bail. I tried to look apologetic.

What the hell? Kayla shot me a look of relief. "Not tonight, Mom."

Her mom sighed. "That's too bad. I suppose billionaires are busy people." She sounded ticked off. "And Wednesday's out. We have a dinner that night
we
can't get out of."

I didn't know. Was she trying to one up me? Show me that they were busy, important people, too? She'd always seemed pleasant enough the few times I'd met her.

Kayla eyed me. "Thursday?"

I nodded and gave her a thumbs-up.

"Thursday is no good. Bunko," Debbie said. "If I miss it this time, the girls will fillet me. Friday?"

Kayla looked to me again. "Justin?"

I nodded.

"Friday works," Kayla said to her mom.

Just then Data woke up and barked happily.

"Is that a dog?" Debbie asked.

Kayla scratched Data behind her ears. "Yep. Justin's."

"It sounds like a
small
dog." Debbie's voice dripped accusation. The way she said it was almost an affront to my masculinity.