A Wicked Beginning (15 page)

She studied him, the mysterious stone held loosely in her hand, her hair all mussed and wild. Her eyes were brilliant gold and yellow, and there was even a spark of bluish green in there. It was like looking at a picture of the galaxy he had seen from pictures taken by the Hubble telescope of….what was it? Oh, right, it was the Carina Nebula. He laughed again. Looking at her, he had such a feeling of wonder and mystery. And yeah, he felt this…this innocence…there was no other word for it. He felt innocent and grateful to be alive, having this moment with this amazing woman. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, Chérie Abella Manhattan.” He bit his lip. When did he bite his lips for Christ sake? He quickly released the hold his teeth had on the lips. “Okay, I don’t think I can take any more of this right now.” He got to standing and reached out his hand to Chérie.

She grasped his fingers and gracefully got to her feet. “Baby steps, baby…?”

He snorted. “Yeah…you could say that.”

“How was that, Cam…good?”

“Yeah…I feel kind of shaky, if you can believe. Not a word about this, you got it?” He put a fingertip on her nose and gently tapped it.

“Got it, hard-ass…” She laughed and pushed his finger away. “One more for the road…?”

“I don’t know, Chér. It’s a bit much to deal with.”

“It’s only a kiss, Cam.”

He grabbed her in a fierce bear hug. “It’s not
only
anything, hot stuff. That was a Class 5 kiss.” Class 5 rapids were large whitewater waves with continuous rapids, huge rocks, and hazards. Running those kinds of waters took precise maneuvering and skill.

“Wait until we get to Class 6…”

“Huh…will the usual description ‘danger to life or limb’ apply? I think I’ll need to train a bit for that one.”

“Come on…just one kiss…” she coaxed.

He released his grasp of her, took a deep breath and stood back to observe her beautiful feline face. “Okay…okay…here goes.”

This time she put her palms on both sides of his cheeks, causing an electric charge kind of sensation to fill his head. He gulped. When she kissed him, he almost buckled in the knees.

He pulled away. “Oh, no, Chér can’t do it.”

“Cam…you’re frightened.”

“Do ya think…?”

“Just calm down, I won’t hurt you.”

This simple statement brought tears to his eyes again. What the fuck was wrong with him? He turned away and swiped his eyes.
Man up, dude,
he commanded his body.

“Cam, we can’t end this experiment in fear. We’re going to stay here all night if we have to.”

Chérie stood there with her hands on her hips looking like Wonder Woman. He expected to see a cape flowing out from her shoulders. “Okay, okay, I’ll try again.”

“Don’t try, just stay present and feel.” She brought the cat’s eye rock back to his chest.

When had she become so wise?
The thought passed through the back of his brain as he allowed himself to surrender to the next kiss. This one was even better than the last. A sensation of pure sweetness poured through his chest, up his neck, down into his groin and legs. It was like he had stuck his whole body into an electric grid and fireworks were shooting from every pore. More, he thought. More…he wanted more of this sensation. His hands started moving of their own volition, exploring the shape of her, the curves and angles, the sinewy muscles from this new place of…of deep, heartfelt love. This was more like a shared communion than a sexual encounter…not that he was through with sexual encounters, mind you. This one just seemed…enriched…or enhanced. He pulled her closer and closer…he couldn’t get her close enough. It was like she was right next to him, but he wanted her inside of him and him inside of her. He was awash in sensation and the feeling of being caught in a whirlpool that he didn’t want to escape…wait, not like a whirlpool, more like a hydraulic, one of those holes in the rapids run where the water cascades over a ledge, rolling back on itself. He’d been stuck in one of those a time or two and they could be hairy to get out of. Only the thing here was…he didn’t want to pull out of this one. And then he noticed that there was no searing pain coming from his thigh. Fucking incredible... All it took was a little…innocence. At last he pulled away from the kiss…if that was what you could call it. He put his palms up. “I surrender…I give.”

“Still shaky?”

“A little…but not afraid... I feel more alive than I’ve ever felt right now. How about if we stop here? It was great and all, but I honestly think that’s about all I can take today.”

Chérie wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. She nuzzled her nose into his neck like a kitten or something. He was going to lose his mind with all this new softness he was experiencing.
He hoped to God he did not lose his manliness
, he thought soberly.

“You won’t…” Chérie said.

“What…?” He looked baffled.

“You won’t lose your manliness, silly.”

“How did you know I was thinking that?”

“I don’t know…I just knew. I guess I’m relearning my abilities just the same way you are relearning your innocence.”

“Huh…okay, well, that’s just about enough with the surprises, alright?” He gathered up their belongings and looked back at the darkening sky. “Pretty good sunset tonight, don’t you think?”

“I sure do, Cam,” Chérie replied with a mirthful smile before slipping her hand into his. “Let’s head back to town…while your manhood is still intact.” She gave one of her lyrical laughs.

“Right…” he said, smiling back at her. “I really love you, babe…in spite of what you do to me,” he added.

“You love me because of who I am, Cam, not because of what I do or don’t do.”

“That too...” He laughed again. “I don’t think I’ve laughed this much in quite a while,” he mused.

“Get used to it, bucko,” Chérie teased. “Feelings are wonderful things to have.”

“If you say so…”

“You’ll see…”

“With you by my side?”

“Side by side, love. We both have things to learn.”

Cam was probably happier than he’d ever been in his life right about now. He put his arm around Chérie’s shoulders and pulled her next to him. “Like this…?”

She laughed and twisted so she was back to back with him. “And like this…” Then she turned so that her other side was pressed against his. “And like this…” Then she rotated until they were full frontal. “And especially like this…”

Especially like that, Cam thought as he led her back to the car. Especially like that.

Chapter 16 – Cam

Mano and Cam had sat down in the kitchen the night before when he’d returned from Chérie’s. When he’d walked in, the guy had whistled, put his palms out towards Cam and commented on the change in Cam’s energetic field. Whatever... All Cam knew was that it was incredible to have connected with Chér that way, and it had also scared the bejesus out of him, big time. It made him feel a little raw…and exposed. Well, he’d just have to learn to deal, right?

Mano had told him vaguely what to expect tonight…lots of ‘stay open, man’ and ‘be with the spirits, bro’ talk. Blah de blah blah… He said that Cam had to drive up there alone as he had to go up earlier to meet with the elders. He gave Cam directions, gave him some support, wished him well and had walked out of the kitchen to do what, Cam did not know or care. All he knew was that he was about to embark on a “spiritual journey,” whatever the fuck that meant, and he was freaked about that.

Cam found his peace in the great outdoors. There was nothing else like it.
Except for sex with Chérie, of course, but that was different
, he thought with a smile. He had never been to a sweat lodge or a spiritual gathering of any kind. Hell, he’d barely been to church. The only time he’d walked through those supposedly hallowed doors were the times his father wanted to resolve his own guilt, drag the family along, and make a good show of how “happy” they were. There was usually not enough makeup or scarves in the world for his mother to mask the abuse, however. Couple that with his dad’s lack of remorse or responsibility for his actions and that meant that Cam’s appearances in church could be counted on one hand.

As Cam climbed in his vehicle, he found that he was edgy, nervous…apprehensive would be a better word. Spirituality in general freaked him out and being a participant in some strange ritual scared the shit out of him. Who knew what, if anything could happen with this star dreamling on his trail? He pulled the pack of smokes out of the glove box for “security.” Drew one out and put it between his lips. Did not bother with the lighter…he didn’t have the will power to play that game right now. He knew he’d lose. Hell, there were even twisters rolling through his gut, and his mouth was dry as a bone on desert sand. Shit.
Calm the fuck down.

It took him a long time to drive to the sweat site. Manoko said this was “part of the journey,” and that he should pay attention to everything that happened to him on his drive. Thank God it was a beautiful day. As he wound up Highway 101 towards the Olympic Peninsula, he feasted his eyes on the snow-covered mountains, the sparkling water, even the crisp blue of the rain washed sky. This was as good as Heaven got for him. Maybe better – there was a wild sense of justice out here in the natural world. No big guy in the sky holding out a tablet of moral codes. Out here you lived by the weather, the tides, your skill, and your awareness. He wished he could share this beauty with Chérie. Thinking of her, he dug around in his front pocket for the cat’s eye. Since last night, he’d decided to adopt it as his lucky talisman. He held it up in front of his eye, squinted at it, and pushed it back into his pocket.

He had moved the cig to the fingers of his right hand, which was resting on the stick shift, and he tapped the steering wheel with his left hand, in time with the music blasting out of the speakers. He didn’t know what it was – some old rock or metal band was blasting away. It was just loud and obnoxious, that was all that mattered. Then he glanced out the window to see that goddamned heat wave shape tracking the car as it zipped down the road. He could see shimmers of brown and silver coming in and out of focus. Hell, he was going about 65 mph, and that fucker was keeping up with him. Small pricks of fear spread across his scalp. This could be one of those things that Mano said to pay attention to, huh? No one was behind him so he slowed down. The shape slowed down too. He sped up. It sped up. Fast, slow, it did not matter; the thing was tracking him as sure as he was prey. He blew his breath out in a long exhalation.

Then he thought of what James had said” “you’re going to look it in the eyes and deal with it.” Feeling boldly inspired, he stopped the car on the side of the road. The heat wave stopped. He looked over in its direction and dared it to come and get him. The shape complied by leaping onto the hood of the car. All Cam saw was a shimmering shape coming at him and then a loud metallic thud. He felt his skin blanch, his body jerk, and saw the cigarette flying to the floor. He leaned forward and observed dents in the roof where the beast apparently stood. The dents moved as if the beast was shifting back and forth on its front paws. A feeling of dread and alarm crept up his arms and neck.

The front window began to fog rhythmically as if the dreamling had leaned forward and was breathing on the glass. Shit. Next, he heard low growls and snarling sounds. Fuck. What the fuck was he going to do? Now he heard machine gun rapid click, click, clicks against the glass the same way he’d heard Severe scratching against the patio door to get Mano’s attention so she could come inside.
That was hopeful
, he thought. If the beast had the ability to reach through a door, it could no doubt reach through glass and it was acting as if the window was solid right now. Cam fired up the ignition. The clicking stopped and the dents shifted like the star dreamling was moving side to side again, trying to steady itself.

He eased the car out onto the highway. When he did this, it seemed like the beast had lurched by the pattern of dents on the hood. Cam pressed on the gas, and by God, it seemed like the apparition fell off the hood. Fucker might be pissed now. Not good. Cam floored it and watched the shimmery shape follow along on the side of the road. It seemed to leap at the driver window in powerful lunges, over and over and over again. The car veered off the road when the weight of the beast smacked the window. The fucking thing was trying to break through the glass.

Cam’s heart was hammering in his chest now with a ratta-tat-tat. It took everything to keep control of the car. He gripped the steering wheel as the wham, wham, wham of energy slammed against the metal of the door. He’d just get the car righted and then wham – he’d be pushed off the road, tires squealing, and rubber burning. Completely unglued, he called out to the sky, to the mountains, to anything he could think of for guidance. He appealed to these so-called Grandmothers. Then he thought of Chérie. He imagined what it would be like if this apparition up and killed him, right here, right now and life with her just ended. This life with her, this connection that he had just begun to explore again – poof – gone… His eyes moistened, and his heart ached at the thought. And then, abruptly the shimmer just up and disappeared. Just…vaporized…

Cam pulled off the road again. No phantasm in the foreground…nothing in the background…only the wind blowing through the trees in a gentle breeze. Cam let out his breath and reached a shaky hand towards the cig on the floor. He put it between his lips. This time he had every intention of lighting it up. He groped around in the glove box, looking for the lighter. Shit. It wasn’t there. He dug around in his shirt pocket next. When he pulled the lighter out, the cat’s eye orb fell out and rolled onto the seat next to his clawed thigh. He flicked the lighter and held the flame up to the cigarette. Before he torched the tobacco, the cat’s eye caught his attention. It seemed luminescent somehow. It looked different. Releasing the lighter wheel he reached down and picked it up. It seemed to pulse slightly in his hand. Curling his fingers around it, he felt all the warmth and feeling Chérie had put into it last night when she held it to his heart. He began to calm down…felt his body start to unwind…felt his heart start to surge with passion for her. Okay…this was good. This was way good. He dropped the orb back into his shirt pocket and patted it. He released the cig from his lips, rolled the window down a crack and flicked it out onto the road. Feeling renewed, he pulled back onto the highway and drove the rest of the way to the sweat lodge site. The star dreamling did not appear the entire way up the mountain. One challenge down, who knew how many left? He decided to savor the moment and give thanks…for Chérie being back in his life.