A Wild Ride (Jessica Brodie Diaries #3) (5 page)

His eyes were brighter, almost glowing. “I can see that,” he said softly.

“All I am trying to say is that on the surface, you two are similar. You have the same excellent qualities. It is when you get down into the depths that you two are opposites. I couldn’t imagine being with Adam. He is my best buddy to hang out with, and I trust him implicitly, but those depths are all wrong for me. I don’t want to know him like I know you. No interest in it.”

“But Dez knew me, and still wanted Adam.”

“I don’t think Dezeray knew you all that well, which would make it easy for her to want your likeness in Adam. He is so similar on the surface; just different enough to spark up the bedroom.”

“The bedroom was a little lacking...”

I shrugged. I didn’t care about sexual habits of an ex. “And now you know all.”

“Do you always think in metaphors?”

“Uh...yeah, kinda.”

William started laughing.

“Well,” I said indignantly, “it worked, didn’t it? You knew what I was talking about!”

“Just so you know...”

“I don’t want to know. You are going to talk about Lump. I don’t want to hear it.”

“Metaphor—your Adam is my Lump. Only...sexually reversed. Beautiful, but too manly. Too even keel most of the time, then too unpredictable and violent. Too all over the place.”

“I know. You two wouldn’t work. The fear was never that you two would start a relationship and have babies or something. It was that you would want to have sex with her. And follow through.”

“Your Lump is my Adam,” he said quietly.

I sighed and nodded. I knew that. I knew that this whole time. I knew he didn’t like her like he did me. I knew he would never touch her. But it was still good to hear it. It helped.

Chapter Three

We arrived at Gladis’s before logistics dawned on me. “We only brought one car! I thought we were going to bring two?”

“That was just me getting you into the car. Gladis hired a car.”

“Sneaky,” I said, making a face at him. He looked at me, his eyes clear and full of love.

It was an ordeal to get all the presents in the car, Fred in a place where he wouldn’t bother anyone, who I had been neglecting for a while so thought I would bring, and Gladis situated, since her hip was “acting up.” We were waiting patiently for Lump when an apparition in red came down the steps.

She was in a new dress, like me, with her only ornaments small gems in her ears and the perfectly suited necklace. There was something about her that I couldn’t place. It was like a weight lifted. A burden that had been dulling the shine in her eyes and weighing the bounce in her step.

She saw me standing by the car and stopped on the path. She whistled and shook her head.

“Good God, girl, you look goooood!” she said with sass. It was the old Lump back!

She turned to William. “You’re outdone Willie. You are outdone. But you are looking ever so classy yourself.”

He put his hand out to shake. “Hello. I don’t believe I have seen you since you got here from Australia.”

“Har har. I have meditated. The cosmos are aligned." Her mystical voice cleared when she said, "But seriously folks, you guys look really classy together! You look a pair. The parents will be pleased.”

“Not to hurry you,” Gladis shouted from inside the car, “but I would love to get the show on the road!”

Oops. Scolded.

“She doesn’t have anything to throw, does she?” Lump asked quietly.

William looked at her funny.

“Well?” Lump said with a smile. “She nearly got me yesterday with an ashtray.”

“Gladis tried to hit you with an ashtray?” William said seriously, stopping Lump with a hand on her arm.

“William, relax, it’s a game,” I scoffed, shaking my head to let Lump know she should ignore him.

“Throwing things at people with the intention of harm is not a game,” William persisted.

“I agree,” Lump muttered, peering into the car. “But Jess is right. Gladis is trying to get the jump on me. She calls me Superman because I always dodge at the last minute. So now she picks up anything within reach. That ashtray was some relic worth thousands!”

“I see you!” Gladis said in a singsong voice. “Come on in, we’ll be late.”

Lump sighed and smiled at the same time. The second she ducked her head into the limo, she suddenly did a back bend
a la
Matrix. A foam beer cozy came hurling out, just missing her face.

“Damn it, Gladis. I am dressed up!” Lump shouted.

“Shouting is not ladylike, dear.”

“Neither is throwing things! I’m sending Jessica in front of me—“

“No way!” I screeched. I wasn’t nearly as fast. Gladis got me, shortly after this game started, with a tissue box.

“I’ll go,” William said in firm tones. I could tell that he did not think this game as funny as Gladis did.

“William Davies, don’t you give me that scowl.” We heard as William disappeared into the limo.

Lump smiled in victory. It occurred to me that Lump thought this game was every bit as fun as Gladis did. I should have known. Martyr!

“She is nearly impossible to hit. Try it!” Gladis finished.

Lump stifled a laugh as she resumed climbing in the limo. As I waited for her butt to disappear so I could finally climb in, suddenly she shifted and flattened. Another beer cozy floated out, having glanced off her face first.

“You just have to throw it harder,” came William’s voice.

“
Willie!
” Lump said in laughing outrage. “You, too?”

William was shrugging as I climbed in, a third beer cozy in his hand. “I don’t like the word impossible.”

“A glance is not a hit,” Lump said.

“Challenge accepted.”

Gladis took over Lump’s victory smile. I rolled my eyes. Until I saw her giant necklace; a giant Safire hung beside diamonds.

“Wow, Gladis. That is a beautiful necklace!” I gushed.

“Thanks. You want it?”

“What? No. Thank you. I was just admiring it.”

“I got a million of these type of things.”

What got into Gladis? I looked at Lump, who just shrugged in a way that meant Gladis had been this way all day.

We arrived at the ranch in no time, William being more affectionate than normal, Lump with a pleasant disposition. We carefully climbed out of the car, careful not to hurt Gladis or rip our dresses in any way.

William opened the door and let everyone go through but me. He held me back a second and murmured, “Are you ready to meet my family?”

No!
“Of course!” I smiled assuredly, quite the actor.

I slipped my hand in his, crossing the threshold, knowing full-well Denise, William’s mother, was on the other side, and I’d just stepped into a passive aggressive battle zone.

He still seemed to think she liked me. And while
didn’t not like
and
like
were similar, I could feel the difference every time her gaze lingered, over-analyzing.

We entered the living room to two crying children and a harassed mother.

“Gladis!” the mother said, her expression turning from disapproval to joy, as she got up to hug the older lady. “So good to see ya! It’s been too long!”

William was next, getting a warm smile and a hug.

“Hi ya, Sis.” William said with a half-smile.

“How’ru runt?”

William’s sister turned my way, her gaze lingering on Lump before sticking to me. She had her brother’s vivid eyes and striking good looks.

“Elaine, this is my girlfriend Jessica.”

“Hello,” Elaine said with her mother’s analytical stare.

What’s worse than one? Exactly—two!

“Nice to meet you.” I shook her hand.

“This is Betz,” William continued, indicating Lump with an open palm.

Elaine tore her eyes away from my earrings and gave Lump a warm reception.

“Donnie and Emma.” William gestured to the pouting kids.

“C’mon—let’s go meet Thomas,” Elaine said, leading the way.

William clutched my hand again.

In the kitchen stood Adam, Tom, Thomas, Denise, and some other fellow that must be Elaine’s husband. They all looked up when we entered.

Adam’s eyes widened when he saw Lump. He slowly put his hand on the island, gaze not leaving Lump’s face.

She was pretending not to notice him. The dance between them had begun.

I didn’t have much time to notice. Everyone else was staring at me.

“Thomas, Peter,” William began, heading toward the island and his father without me. “I’d like you to meet my girlfriend Jessica, and her friend Lu--Betz. You know Gladis, of course.”

Finally I got to see Thomas, the older brother. A long time ago I was told he was shockingly handsome. That he’d gotten all the looks in the family. And while he was definitely handsome, with many of the same characteristics as William, where he differed wasn’t my taste. He was too slick. Too egocentric. His cheesy, self-assured smile, his lazy lean—he thought he was way hotter than he actually was. Which just made him laughable.

I lost interest about the same time Lump did. Immediately.

Seeing my attention waver, Thomas sauntered over, the master of the universe. He reached for my hand with a glimmer in his eyes.

“Lovely to meet you,” he droned with a slight east coast accent. His lips brushed against my knuckles.

“Hi,” I responded, trying my damnedest not to yank my hand back and wipe it on my dress.

Tom hid a laugh in a cough. He must’ve noticed my reaction.

Thomas sauntered over to Gladis next, doing the same thing, but following it up with a hug. She patted him like she might Elaine’s children and went to sit down.

“What’s a' matter, Tommy? West coast girls don’t like ya as much as East coast girls?” Adam poked.

“
Au contre
. They are just being coy,” Thomas said as he looked at me then Lump, eyes twinkling with a sultry look.

Coy?

“Oh, we are rarely coy,” Lump responded, unconcerned. “Just hard to please.”

Everyone laughed, including Thomas. It was official, he didn’t have a worry in the world. Playboy, through and through.

“Do you girls want something to drink?” Denise asked.

We put in our drink orders, which was to be a cocktail specialty of Peter’s, and sat down at the kitchen table with Gladis. Thomas joined us shortly thereafter.

“So, how do you find the ranch house?” he asked, looking between us.

We barely got to answer before he was off, talking about its creation, its decoration, their childhood here, and then making his own segue way into his current life. The man loved to talk about himself. He had a sense of humor, and was good entertainment, but when all you were doing was listening, even the most exciting got dull.

“Tommy,” Gladis interrupted as Lump stared blankly off to her right. She had always been terrible at hiding her boredom.

Thomas stopped talking about himself long enough to look up at Gladis.

“These girls are excited to get to know you, but maybe you should leave a little to the imagination. They can only sit in rapture for so long, honey.”

Everyone started laughing, and this time, Thomas got a little red in the cheeks. A second later he was rising with a flourish, self-assurance back with vengeance. “I am sorry, ladies, you must want to meet the rest of the family.”

He gave us a small bow.

William waited for my eye, then gave me a wink. Anxiety melted from his face.

Apparently Adam wasn’t the only one that had him insecure. What a boob!

“Pop. Check this out,” William said, still looking at me but holding the phone so his father could see.

“Oh my, but he is a beauty. You were right on him, son. Did you finally track down that ranch?” Tom asked.

“Behold the two sluts.” William motioned toward Lump and I.

“Willie!” Denise said indignantly.

“Sorry, mom. That’s what they--well, anyway, they went to Wyatt’s and Jessica bought the bull for me for Christmas.”

“It’s what he wanted,” I blurted into a room full of stares.

“Share the story,” Peter said with a smile.

Nervous and fidgeting, and with Lump’s help, I did, leaving out some of the more embarrassing parts. When we finished, nearly everyone, including William, had a shocked face.

“Here’s what they didn’t tell you...” Adam continued for us.

Oh God. Please don’t tell them about the nipples and sexual misleading!

“When Jess asked me to help, I done tried to talk her out of it. You know Willie and his schemes. He usually makes enough right decisions to cover the bad ones, but she were risking it all on that dang bull.”

“
Adam!
” I said quietly, trying to shut him up.

“Long story short, she told me Willie was worth every penny, including the splash of degradation, so mind your own business, if you please, Adam.”

Everyone chuckled.

“She then went inta that creepy house, as the girls call it, half their breasts exposed to an old geezer—was I not supposed to say that part, Jessie girl?—and our little Jessica danced around the best negotiator in the county. I won’t tell you what she got outta him, but it was impressive, boys! It
was
impressive.”

William looked at me like one would appraise an instrument they found at Goodwill.

“Those roses outside are sure nice.” Gladis covered effectively. She could steer a conversation like no one I knew.

Thank God!

After dinner all the women got up to clean as the men tried to sneak away. It wasn’t two seconds before Gladis had them scalded and sent out to the cars to get presents and make themselves useful. Either that, or watch the kids.

When we were washing or putting things in the dishwasher, Elaine said, “Jessica, how long have you known Willie?”

“Ohhhhh, seven months or so.”

“Who asked who out?”

Denise made a sound that Elaine failed to notice.

“Well, um, neither, really. I was thinking about leaving the area when William told me he had feelings for me. So...I stayed.”