A Woman of Independent Means (25 page)

June 25, 1920
Woodstock

Dearest Totsie,

Welcome home!

I am anxious to hear all about your trip. Why don't you meet me in Boston for the July 4 weekend and we can catch up on each other's lives?

I know Dwight is so happy to be home again I would not presume to include him in the invitation, but I do hope you can get away for the weekend. On the chance that you can, I am reserving a room in your name at the Ritz.

If you cannot come, just send me a note at the hotel. Do not bother trying to reach me here. But please do not disappoint me. I long to see you.

Je t'embrasse,
Bess

June 25, 1920
Woodstock

Hotel Ritz
Boston, Massachusetts

 

Dear Sirs:

I would like to reserve three single rooms for the nights of July 3-5, two adjoining, and the third at a distance from the other two, possibly even on another floor.

The adjoining bedrooms are to be booked in the names of Mrs. Elizabeth Steed and Mrs. Dwight Davis and the third room is in the name of Mr. Arthur Fineman.

I'm enclosing a deposit to insure that the rooms will be held for our arrival.

Thank you in advance for your prompt attention to this request.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth Steed

July 4, 1920
Boston, Massachusetts

Dear Lydia,

I am so grateful to you for making it possible for me to get away for the weekend. My friend Totsie was already unpacking in her room, which adjoins mine, when I arrived.

We were having tea downstairs when I suddenly caught sight of my friend and financial advisor from Dallas, Arthur Fineman, who travels to Boston frequently on business. He was astonished to learn that all three of us were staying at the same hotel. However, he soon recovered his aplomb and invited us to join him for dinner and the theater.

We got along famously, disproving the old adage that “three's a crowd.” And traveling in a trio had advantages for all of us: Totsie's presence spared Arthur and me any awkward moments at finding ourselves alone together in a strange city, and Arthur's presence enabled Totsie and me to travel freely about the city without fear for our physical safety.

We are all having such a good time we have decided to extend our trip by two days, so I will be returning on July 8 instead of July 6 as originally planned. I know Manning is anxious to get back to Texas but I trust he will not mind delaying his trip until my return. I am sure he would not like the thought of leaving you there alone with the children any more than I would.

Happy Independence Day!

Love,
Bess

July 6, 1920
Boston

Dearest Totsie,

You should just be getting home by now. I wish you could have stayed with us, but I can understand Dwight's desire to have you at his side. I will never stop missing Rob but now that I no longer have to answer to anyone for my actions, I do not think I would ever consider marriage again.

I finally confessed to Arthur that I had invited you for the weekend and you had accepted in complete innocence, knowing nothing of the circumstances. He said he had guessed it as soon as he saw us in adjoining rooms but decided to say nothing. I am continually amazed at his restraint and good manners; I just hope I can continue to count on them in your absence.

Give the baby a hug for me and thank Dwight for lending me your presence for three days.

Je t'embrasse,
Bess

July 8, 1920
en route from Boston
to Woodstock

My dear Arthur,

All last night as I listened to you voice sentiments that went straight to my heart, I longed for pen and paper to give shape to the thoughts that were crowding my mind. I fervently hope nothing I write now will make you regret a single word you uttered.

I met my late husband when we were children. We reached adulthood together and continued to grow even after we were married. We were like two explorers taking turns in the lead as we made our way across uncharted country. But you and I have both made this trip before. We each think we know the way and would find it difficult to allow the other the lead.

I am just beginning to learn how to live alone as an adult. Can we not continue as we are? A man and a woman leading separate lives except for the moments they choose to share? There will always be times I would rather share with you than with anyone else in the world, dearest Arthur—please do not deprive me of the privilege of choosing to share them by demanding my constant presence as proof of my affection for you.

I will not breathe easily until I hear from you and you assure me that what we had has not been lost by what you hoped to gain.

Love always,
Bess

July 20, 1920
Woodstock

Dearest Totsie,

Your guess proved completely accurate. How strange that Arthur's intentions were so clear to you from the start. In no way did I anticipate a proposal of marriage. If so, I would have had time to ponder all my reasons for saying no. As it happened, I said it first, then spent the trip back to the farm trying to understand why.

I was terrified of losing Arthur as a friend when I refused him as a husband, but the letter I received from him today was so warm and understanding I think our relationship may even profit from the experience. I suppose whenever a single man and woman start spending time together, there comes a point at which marriage must be discussed. What I had not realized before were all the possibilities inherent in the relationship once the subject of marriage was closed. I am sure Arthur felt he owed me a proposal out of respect—but the tone of his letter indicates he was rather relieved when I refused.

How many unhappy marriages must result from that unholy sense of obligation that leads a man to propose and a woman to accept when both would be much happier continuing as they were. But fortunately society can impose its conventions only on the meek, and, like any bully, can be surprisingly docile when someone politely but firmly refuses to submit.

I hope Dwight did not feel you had in any way deceived him when he learned of Arthur's presence in Boston. It was terribly important to me that you be there and I could not run the risk of having you refuse by informing you of all the circumstances in advance. I pray I have not imposed on our friendship to the detriment of your marriage. How complicated life can become when loyalties intertwine. Sometimes I feel we are all marionettes and each string is controlled by a different master. I wonder if men feel as divided as women by conflicting obligations to husband, to parents, to children, to friends, and—the obligation too often sacrificed in the hope of effecting a momentary truce among the others—to one's self.

I cannot bear to end this letter because it means telling you good-bye for awhile. Is there any chance you could bring the baby here for a visit? My brother-in-law left today for Texas, so for the rest of the summer we will be a community of women and children. How I would love you to be part of it—for as long as you could stay.

Je t'embrasse,
Bess

July 25, 1920
Woodstock

Dear Annie,

I am shocked you have allowed Hans to move back in the house, though I frankly feared this would happen in my absence. I trust you have considered all the consequences of this decision and will regret none of them. If you had informed me of your intentions, I would have advised you to set down in writing certain conditions governing Hans' right to cohabit with you. It is still not too late to formulate some written agreement regarding your mutual rights and obligations. The longer these boundaries are left undefined, the greater the chance of future conflict between you.

I trust that your decision to enter nursing school in the fall has not been affected by the events of this summer. You cannot expect Hans to accord you any more respect than you accord yourself. If you do not keep your goals steadfastly in front of you, do not depend on anyone else to remind you of what they were. As long as you have ambitions of your own, your husband will never again be your judge, only your partner as you are his.