I snorted in response, forgetting about the men in the room I was trying to impress. I hoped they didn’t hear it because it’s not the most sophisticated noise in the world.
“And a rose by any other name ...”
“Would smell as sweet,” he finished.
That impressed me. “You know Shakespeare?”
“I may have read a few of his plays.”
“Really? Be honest, did you just see the movies?” I teased.
“You mean you don’t believe me?”
I couldn’t read him. I didn’t know if he was still pretending or if I insulted him.
“If you say you’ve read Shakespeare, then I believe you.”
He sat back in his chair with a studious expression.
“Where do you want to be in five years?”
The question made me nervous, and I wasn’t sure why. It didn’t matter what I said to him because this wasn’t a real date, right?
“Why did that question make you nervous?” he inquired.
“Why do you think it made me nervous?”
“You always bite your lower lip when you’re anxious. It’s cute.”
“No, I don’t.” No one had ever told me I did that. Could he be right? Even if he was right, I was floored he knew me that well.
“Ask Missy, if you don’t believe me.”
“I will.”
“So, what’s your answer?”
Even though I had prepared to ask the same question, I hadn’t thought about how I would answer it. I guess it did make me anxious to think about what I wanted for my future past my next birthday.
“I want to live in a house in the suburbs with two point four kids, a dog, and two goldfish.”
“And a husband?”
I blushed at his question. “Of course a husband. That was to be implied by the house and the kids.”
“Don’t forget the dog and the goldfish.”
“Right,” I muttered.
“I didn’t think you liked fish.”
He really did know me. “I don’t like fish, but our kids won them at the Purim carnival, so what could we do?”
His eyebrow shot up at my comment. “Our kids?”
Oh God, did I really say that? I meant the hypothetical husband and my kids.
“Not yours and mine,” I stammered, trying to convince both him and me.
He started to say something, but Ruth rang the bell and our six-minute date was over.
“Good luck, Sara,” he said quietly before moving to the next table.
For a moment, I wanted to stop him and say something. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say, only that I wanted to say something. He always confused me.
When my next date sat, my confusion over Goldman was forgotten. Ryan introduced himself and smiled at me.
“Why do you need speed dating? I’m sure you have plenty of guys lining up to take you out.”
“That’s sweet of you to say, but no, no guys lining up at my door,” I responded, entranced by his blue eyes.
“Well lucky for me.”
“What about you? You must have plenty of women throwing themselves at you.”
“It’s hard to find nice Jewish girls in my line of work.”
As tempted as I was to ask him what line of work he was in, I stuck to my guns and didn’t ask.
“What do you do for fun?”
“Concerts, swimming, and traveling.”
“What kind of concerts do you go to?”
My parents took me to my first concert when I was eight years old. I loved the atmosphere of the outdoor pavilion, thousands of people singing and dancing along to the music. Since then, I’ve been to hundreds of concerts from all types of artists in all types of genres-classical, country, rock, and pop.
“I used to be a head banger.”
“Somehow, I don’t see it,” I said.
“I’ve changed a lot over the last twenty years.”
That meant he was probably in his mid to late thirties.
“What are you seeking in a relationship?”
“I’m searching for my soul mate, a partner to settle down with and have children.”
Here I am!
I nodded and tried to give him the look which suggested he had found his soul mate and didn’t need to look any further.
Ruth rang her little bell. I was starting to dislike Ruth and her bell.
“It was nice meeting you, Sara.”
“You, too.”
With no doubts in my mind, I circled Ryan’s number and prayed he’d circle mine. I wanted to know more about him and maybe go see a concert with him. I just couldn’t picture him head banging to the music. I’d have to see it with my own two eyes to believe it.
After Ryan, the last two paled in comparison. I don’t think I even tried to get to know them. I didn’t bother circling their names.
At the end of our dates, we were told to wait thirty minutes in the other room while the results were prepared. After, we could pick it up at the table where we registered.
I scanned the room for Missy and found her talking with Steffi and Elana almost exactly where I had left them. I guess they weren’t much for mingling.
“How did it go?”
“I’m hoping for three matches, but we’ll see.” Honestly, if I only match with Ryan, I’d still be pleased.
“Is Goldman one of those matches you’re hoping for?”
“Of course not.”
“You know, fate seems to be throwing you two together.”
“Don’t be silly. It’s not fate throwing us together. It’s the fact it’s a small Jewish community and we can’t avoid each other.”
“If you say so.”
Missy and I had a drink before I picked up the card with the results. I matched with both Max and Ryan. Not too bad for an hours work.
Goldman came to me. “How’d you do?”
“I got two matches,” I gloated. “How about you?”
“Three,” he responded, although he didn’t gloat. In fact, he seemed downright depressed.
“That’s great,” I said, although part of me was saddened. I didn’t know why.
“I’ll see you around.” Goldman walked away from me, and I almost ran after him to find out what was wrong. After all, we had known each other for many years and we were sort of friends I guess. If something was troubling him, didn’t I owe it to him as his friend to help him out? I started to follow him, but then Jamie stepped in front of me.
“I just finished my speed dating and I have to wait for my results, but after, can we go somewhere else and get a drink?” Jamie requested.
“I came with Missy, so you’d have to take me home.” Missy wouldn’t mind.
“Sure. I’ll come get you when I’ve gotten the card, okay?”
I nodded in agreement and went to find Missy.
I found her talking with Jamie’s friend Don.
“Hey, Sara,” Don said. He never was much of a conversationalist.
“Good to see you, Don. Would you mind terribly if I pull Missy away for a minute?”
“No, I’m headed out of here anyway. Good to see both of you.”
“What’s up?”
“If it’s okay with you, I’m going to go out for a drink with Jamie in a little bit.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“I need your opinion. Since I already dated Jamie more than four times, does the four date rule still apply?”
Missy bit her lip as she considered my question.
“Hmm. That is a good question. I would normally say yes, the four date rule still applies since it’s been years since you’ve seen each other and you don’t know anything about him anymore.”
There sounded like there was going to be a “but” in there and I waited for it patiently.
“But,” she continued. “There is an exception to the rule in circumstances like this when it’s been more than a year since you’ve gotten laid. It’s been how long?”
“It’s been three years, Missy,” I revealed through gritted teeth.
“How time flies when you’re not getting laid, huh?” she taunted.
“So, I can have sex with him tonight and not feel like a slut?”
“Honey, you need this. I’m afraid if you don’t get laid soon, you’ll spontaneously combust. Although that would be quite a feat, I’d rather have you alive. Even if it did make you a slut, I say go for it.” She gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“You’ll have to tell me everything tomorrow.”
“You know I will,” I promised. I was lucky to have Missy as my best friend.
We talked to a few other people we knew and Missy got to reject a few offers from men for a date. She had learned throughout the years how to reject them without making them feel bad. She’d always say “You seem like a very nice guy and if I wasn’t a lesbian, I’d love to go out with you.” Normally, the guys left her alone, but she did have the occasional jerk who’d want to hear more about what it’s like to be a lesbian.
It makes no sense guys fantasizing about joining two lesbians having sex. If they’re lesbians, they are not going to be into your dick and unless they’re exhibitionists, they aren’t going to ask you to watch.
Jamie came back with his card and I didn’t ask him how many matches he made. He didn’t ask me either.
After saying goodbye to our friends, we grabbed our coats and headed out to a bar within walking distance. I couldn’t wait to find out all the ways Jamie had changed since high school.
APRIL 1, 2012
DETROIT, MICHIGAN
WEIGHT: 179
STATUS: SINGLE
Jamie and I reminisced about old times as we drank our Canadian beer. It was just like high school, only better, because now we didn’t have a curfew. We wouldn’t have to kiss goodnight on my porch, while my mom waited for me to come inside. We wouldn’t have to make out in the back of his car, wishing we had more privacy to use the package of condoms we’d bought.
He confided his parents had gotten divorced because of his father’s infidelity. Apparently, his father came home one day, announced he wanted a divorce and informed his wife he was marrying his secretary, who was carrying his baby. Now, Jamie had a ten-year-old sister and a stepmother five years older than us. His father married his stepmother one day after his divorce was final. That same day, his mother flew to Jamaica, where she stayed in her hotel room for ten days. Then she put the past behind her and returned to Michigan to become a nurse. She was now married to a physician and according to Jamie, is incredibly happy for the first time in her life.
I wanted to ask about why he and his fiancée broke their engagement, but I didn’t want to stir up any unresolved feelings. I don’t think I could handle it if Jamie spent the time we had together sobbing about how much he misses his fiancée. It would definitely put a damper on the seduction I had planned in my head.