Aboard the Wishing Star (5 page)

She closed her eyes and held her breath as she sent wishes into the night.
I wish this loneliness would go away and never return again. I wish I never had to spend another lonely night wandering sleepless and unable to sleep.

When she opened them again, the vast dark of night spread around her. Dark sky and water surrounding the boat erased any sense of a horizon. She could see no edge, no order. There was only this boat and the half-hidden moon to bear witness to her loneliness.

The open decks now stood almost empty. One couple strolled hand in hand on the deck beneath her, and the bartender below wiped down his bar for tomorrow.

No one stood nearby to save her if she fell over the rail. It reached almost to her shoulders so the possibility remained slim, and she wasn't standing near enough to the outer rail to fall but still...

If I fell in who would know? There were news reports of people vanishing off of ships. It would be morning before anyone even started looking for me. The deep, dark ocean could swallow me whole, as if I were a grain of sand. My God.

Kara shivered and wrapped her arms about herself.

If only wishes did come true.

How she'd grown to dislike the night. She had no one to talk to, no tasks to take her mind off dark thoughts. She wondered what Nate was doing tonight.

He was probably sound asleep like Viv.

Kara wrapped her arms around herself and shivered.

"Nights at sea can be chilly," Nate said and she jumped, turning toward him eyes wide.

"Here, sweetheart." He held out his jacket and stepped in front of her. "This will keep you warm."

Kara blinked. "Oh, no, I couldn't."

"I don't mind." He offered her a smile. "In fact, I insist."

Goose bumps covered her arms.

"You're cold." He placed his jacket around her shoulders.

She let him drape the jacket over her shoulders and looked up into his deep brown eyes, her breath catching.

His hands lingered on her shoulders and he gazed down at her upturned face. As he searched her eyes, she wondered if he would kiss her.

His gaze lit on her lips.

Her lips trembled.

"You're still cold," he said. He ran his hands up and down her arms, warming her.

"Thank you."

"My pleasure." He smiled. "Better now?"

"Yes."

He moved to stand beside her.

Wind blew a strand of her long blonde hair across her face, and she pushed it back with her other hand. The silence stretched as the moon shone above them and the ship moved through the dark sea.

"It's so deep and dark out there. Dangerous."

"There's nothing to be afraid of, Kara. You're safe here."

"If the ship were to sink..."

"You would be safe in your life jacket in the boat assigned to your muster station."

"If I made it to the boat in time."

He turned her around to face him and looked into her eyes. "I would find you."

She gazed up at him, her eyes searching his.

"I'd see that you made it into the boat. But tonight the boat is not sinking. Everything is fine and you're fine. There's no reason to be afraid."

She looked back out at the dark water. "It feels as if we're the only people on the ship right now, doesn't it?"

"There's a whole crew working behind the scenes to make all this happen." He guided her to the inside rail and pointed to the bartender below who'd just hung up the deck phone. "There are plenty of people about keeping an eye on the passengers." He moved closer to her.

Kara's pulse quickened as his lithe body moved beside her. His jacket around her shoulders felt like a warm hug, and the comfort of his hand on her back made her wish he would hold her close, chasing her fears away. Yet they'd just met, and the intensity of what she felt, despite that fact, scared her.

For a moment she'd thought he'd kiss her, but maybe she imagined it. Maybe she imagined it because it had been so long since someone kissed her.

She moved beside him and glanced where he'd pointed. A man rolled a cart of liquor out of the elevator and over to the bar. The bartender began to restock supplies while a deck hand mopped the floor in front of the bar.

As Nate stood next to her in silence, the night breeze bathed her in the scent of his cologne, filling her senses.

He smelled so good.

"There are hundreds of people on this ship you'll never see," his low voice rumbled.

Oh, that voice.
She could listen to him all night long.

"You're not as alone as you think."

How can he read me so well? I just met him. Yet somehow he doesn't feel like a stranger. I feel so comfortable standing here beside him.

"I'm glad. I wouldn't want to be alone, out here."

She watched his strong shoulders as the wind blew against his shirt.
Now he was probably cold.

"I should give your jacket back. It's chilly out here."

"No, sweetheart, I'm just fine."

He gazed into her eyes and she looked back into his deep brown eyes, losing all sense of time, or moments sped up or slowed down. There was only his gaze and his hand on her back, his warmth surrounding her.

Somehow she felt calm and nervous all at once. Butterflies flitted in her stomach.

He was attentive. She wasn't used to that quiet attentiveness or the way he gazed into her eyes...

"I'm afraid of deep water." The words spilled out before she could call them back.

"Yes, I know." His hand, warm and comforting, continued rubbing her back. "And yet, there you were, on the top deck by the rails when the ocean is pitch black at night. You're a brave woman, Kara Worth, to face your fear."

"Oh, I don't know about that."

"Well, I do."

"Yes, I guess you would, with your job."

If she were looking for a man, she wouldn't choose one who faced danger daily by diving into the bottom of the ocean. But she wasn't looking. She wasn't.

"It's slick out here." Nate ran his hand across the rail then rubbed it down his slacks. "From the sea." He inhaled deep as if enjoying the night air and squinted off into the distance. "We're moving at a good clip. Some passengers might get seasick if we moved this fast during the day. The ship travels faster when they retract the stabilizers. But it can also rock the passengers to sleep."

His voice rolled over her like a warm breeze. Now she noticed the rocking of the ship on the sea.

"Well, good," she said, "Because I have trouble sleeping." It wasn't like her to share so much of herself with someone she barely knew. He'd know her whole life story if she kept this up.

"What do you do for insomnia?" he asked.

"Usually I get up and move about. Do something. Then try going back to sleep."

Great. Now he'd give her all sorts of manly advice as if he could cure her problems. Like Neil used to do. Sometimes a woman just needed someone to listen.

"You and I have something in common," he said. "I usually go for a walk. Like tonight."

"Oh. That's good."
Brilliant, Kara. He'll be swept away by your intelligent conversation as well as the boatload of fear you have.

He smiled at her. "Want to walk around the deck with me?"

"Sure." She was unaccustomed to companionship during the evenings when night terrors struck. Maybe after a stroll around the deck, she'd be able to sleep tonight.

She pulled her long, blonde hair out from under the jacket and he watched it slide loose as an easy smile played at the corners of his mouth.

They walked for a minute in silence. Her foot skidded, and he caught her elbow, his hand warm and strong.

"Careful, sweetheart. The wind picks up as we near the bow." He left his hand on her elbow to guide her.

His touch comforted and created a stirring deep within her. She shivered as an ocean breeze blew across the deck.

Nate's touch struck a vibrant chord inside that had been silent for what seemed forever. Now the chord hummed low and slow beneath the calm front she presented to the world.

Could he tell what his touch was doing?

The thought made her flush.

A salty breeze blew and another shiver ran down her spine.

Oh, these shivers are more than the night air.

She'd never responded like this even to Neil. This was beyond anything she'd ever experienced.

Nate called her sweetheart. What would it be like to be his sweetheart? To hear the endearment every day and know he loved and cared for her?

But she couldn't fall for Nate.

It would be far too easy. It would hurt too much.

She had to stay away from Nate Cooper before her emotions got out of hand. Before the craving to be held and loved made her do something she'd regret. Before she fell fast and hard and could no longer tell what was real and what was her craving creating something that wasn't real and lasting.

He halted. "We can go in if you're cold." He stepped close and pulled his jacket tighter around her shoulders. His brown eyes gazed into hers. "I know a quiet corner where we can get a cup of cappuccino."

"All right," she agreed. It was late. And she should go. But something inside of her didn't want to say good night. Didn't want to say goodbye to him.

Yes, better to go in where there were other people.

As long as they weren't alone, as long as someone else was there, she wouldn't lose herself to this humming. She wouldn't lose her heart only to have it broken again.

She'd just met him. As comfortable as it felt to be here with him, Nate was still a stranger.

Nate led her back to the stairs, holding her elbow all the way down. He was right about the slick decks and she didn't want to fall.

He made her feel cared for, looked after. Warmth flowed through her while his steady touch sent a light sensation up her arm as each of her senses came alive. How could he make her feel comforted and nervous at the same time?

By the time they reached the bottom of the stairs she was breathless, light headed.

She wanted to run. She wanted to stay here like this forever.

Nate placed his palm on the small of Kara's back and guided her to a piano bar, where a bored bartender leaned on the counter. The man, whose gold name badge read "Mario, Italy," straightened.

"No customers this late, Mario?" Nate pulled out a chair for Kara and she sat.

"No, sir."

"How about two cappuccinos to warm up two night owls?"

"Coming right up."

Mario added a pinch of something to the steaming liquid and placed a cup in front of each of them. "I make it just so for you." He held his thumb and finger together as he waved his hand. "You try it."

Italians were so expressive.

Kara sipped and smiled. "It's delicious."

Satisfied, he nodded then returned to the bar.

Nate sampled his. "It is good." He leaned back in his chair, "So, Kara, what's your favorite place in the world to visit?"

"I haven't been far."

"Your most memorable trip then."

"Washington D.C."

"That's a happening city. What did you do there?"

"We saw the Lincoln Memorial, the Smithsonian, and the zoo."

"We?"

"My husband Neil and I."

"Viv told me what happened. I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you." Kara looked down into her coffee mug. "He was shot at a gas station while filling up our car. I was waiting in the car. We were on our way back from Washington. The police determined it was a random act of violence. They never found out who did it."

"How long ago did this happen?"

She lifted her head and gazed back at him. "A year and a half."

He searched her eyes and was silent for a moment." That's a hard thing to go through."

"Yes." She nodded.

"I understand. I lost several good men during battle."

"You were in the military?"

"Yes. Marine recon."

"Thank you for your service."

He smiled. "You're welcome."

"Is that where you got your tattoos?"

"Yes.

Kara had noticed he had tattoos, one on each arm, but hadn't looked too close at them. Being near him in the hot tub had made her feel too shy to do more than glance at his tattoos.

"What do they stand for? I saw the parachute but couldn't see the one on your left."

"On my left is the Marine Corps eagle, globe, and anchor, and my other one is for recon with the parachute and scuba diver."

"So you know what it is to be shot at."

"Yes."

She looked down at her cup. "For a long time after my husband was shot I had terrible nightmares. Like I was seeing it happening again right in front of me and then I'd wake in a sweat."

She'd shared herself with him again so easily as if she'd known him forever. What would he think of her?

"That's normal." Nick nodded.

He actually understood
.

On a level no one else did. Unlike her friends, he didn't say get over it or treat her with pity. Instead, he acted normal. And that felt really good.

"Normal."

"Yes."

He was the first person she'd met who'd heard her story and treated it matter-of-factly without the usual poor Kara attitude. She wanted to move on with her life, but how could she when everywhere she went everyone treated her like poor Kara? Viv was the worst.

Normal. Amazing how a simple ordinary word could feel so good.

Nate patiently waited for her to speak. Something else she wasn't used to.

"I try to remember the good parts of our trip more than what happened after."

"I understand. Is this your first trip since Washington?"

"Yes."

"Well, I hope you have fun. It sounds like you're overdue."

"Yes, I guess I am." She smiled. "I'm looking forward to the private island."

"What are you planning to do there?"

"Oh, just lounge on the beach with a book."

"Have you ever been snorkeling?"

"No."