“Quinn!” Her voice turned hoarse. I loved it.
Sweat started to bead on my forehead. My brows drawn, I bit my lip as I panted through my thrusts. My stomach tensed. The skin at my lower back prickled and my balls drew tight. Eyes closed, I freed my lip and grunted. “
Fuck
. Yeah, baby.”
Then she did something. She titled her hips back, as if instinctively, and my cock drove inside, impossibly deep.
It caught me by surprise. My orgasm swept through me in a mess of spotted vision, rigid muscles, growling low in my throat, and clutching her hips hard enough to bruise. I stilled deep inside her wet pussy. My cock jerked uncontrollably, spilling spurt after spurt of hot cum into the condom.
Spent, I collapsed behind Mia, my hands still resting on her hips, albeit weakly. I ran my hand down her hip to the smooth skin of her thigh. My lips against her shoulder, I pressed a long, gentle kiss there, hoping it would convey the words I couldn’t say.
When she rested her hand on mine, squeezing, I was sure it had. Slowly pulling out of her, I stood, removed the condom, and wiped myself off. Zombie-like, I crawled back into bed behind her.
She yawned.
I yawned.
She reached down to pull a sheet over our tired, spent bodies.
I drew her close, placing a soft kiss at the area under her ear.
She sighed blissfully.
And then we napped.
Mia
It was official. I was a floozy.
Losing my virginity one night then all but begging for sex the next afternoon…
Yep. I was definitely a tramp.
As I tiptoed around Quinn’s room, trying to be as quiet as I could while retrieving my clothes, I couldn’t help but glance over at him as he slept. His face had softened in a way that looked almost innocent and childlike. His breathing deep and even, he hugged a pillow. A stray piece of hair had fallen over his brow. If I weren’t so worried about waking him, I would have pushed it back, ran my fingers over the stubbled rough skin I liked so much, and kissed his forehead lovingly. He looked so peaceful. I couldn’t bear to wake him.
We’d napped together for a few hours, and although it felt so natural for Quinn to hold me while I slept, my body pressing back into his, I would be lying if I said it didn’t freak me out.
It freaked me out, because it was definitely something I could get used to, and what Quinn was offering was not a forever type thing. He said it before.
‘If you start seeing someone, playtime ends.’
It didn’t even bother him, the thought of my dating another man. I mean, of course it would be a double standard since he was an escort, but the thought obviously hadn’t induced jealousy. That said it all.
Whereas when it came to Quinn, I couldn’t even think about his work as an escort. I could only push the thought aside and pretend it didn’t bother me, for both our sakes. Honestly, how could it
not
bother me that the man I had started to develop real feelings for was sleeping with other women four to five nights a week?
It bothered me. It bothered me a lot.
But this was Quinn, and I had no claim on him. If I could only have him for a lover, even if for a short while, I’d take it. And when it became too much for me, when I started to feel dangerously in love with him, I’d start dating someone else, ending our non-relationship with the hope that I could find a man who made me feel half of what I felt when I was with Quinn.
It didn’t seem fair somehow, but that was life. It felt nice being wanted, even if it was only temporary.
It was now close to seven p.m. The sun was setting, and being a national holiday, if I didn’t leave now, I’d miss the bus and have to catch a cab. Cabs were expensive. I wasn’t a millionaire.
Dressing soundlessly, I took one last look at Quinn, and at that very moment, he let out a rumbling snore. Quickly covering my mouth with my hand, I chuckled quietly.
My smile fell as I kept my gaze on him. These were the moments I would cherish after our time had passed. These moments were bittersweet.
I shook my head as I walked down the hall, retrieved my purse, and slipped on my flip-flops. With a quick last look around, I opened the door then closed it behind me, walking down the stairs and out the building.
I watched the sun set, splashing of orange and pink across the sky.
The bus arrived and I stepped onboard, taking a seat right at the very back. Thoughts of Quinn assaulted me: his bright smile, his bold laugh, his uncharacteristic playfulness. I ran a hand down my face, suddenly weary as I asked myself a silent question.
How would I come out of this unscathed?
Sitting cross-legged on my bed, the TV on, playing a show about a female lawyer going about her business in all her badassery, I ate tasteless bran cereal for a late supper.
With hair still wet from my shower, as I couldn’t be bothered to dry it, I dressed for comfort in yoga pants, a loose sweater, and fluffy slippers. I called it a quiet night at home, and being that it was close to ten p.m., I hadn’t expected visitors. So when my doorbell rang, I paused with a spoonful of cereal halfway to my mouth, frowning in confusion.
Placing the bowl of cereal on my nightstand, I went to the door and asked, “Who is it?”
The usually sassy voice responded a very tame, “It’s me. Ella.”
My fingers fumbled at the locks, throwing the door open. She looked terrible. Well, not
terrible
, but terrible for outgoing, feisty Ella.
Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, her curls looking surprisingly pacified this evening. She wore jeans, flat shoes, and a cardigan. I looked her over and uttered a cautious, “Hey, I’ve been trying to call you.”
She smiled sadly. “I know. Sorry, I went AWOL.” She shrugged and uttered a hushed, “Licking my wounds, you know.”
That statement saddened me in such a way that my throat thickened, and in one quick motion, I stepped forward, wrapping my arms around her protectively, wanting to surround her in my warmth. After a moment, her arms folded around my waist, taking all I was giving.
We held onto each other for a minute. Then she pulled back, her eyes shining, her voice shaking. “It just sucks, you know?”
I blinked away my own tears. “I know, sweetie. I know.”
“I thought he liked me.”
“I know,” I repeated.
Her voice quieted and her face turned pained. “He called me a piglet.”
“Oh, sweetie.” My heart ached for her. “The guy was an asshole. But most assholes can be very charming.”
She scoffed, her eyes wide. “You’re telling me.”
A small smile pulled at my lips. “The bartender liked you.”
She sighed. “Yeah, well, I screwed that up too.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so.” Pulling her inside, I shut the door behind us and led her into the kitchen, taking the piece of paper from the top of the fridge and handing it to her. “He asked me to give you this, but I knew you weren’t up for it the other night.”
Her pretty eyes narrowed in confusion. She unfolded the paper and read silently.
Eyes wide, I shook her arm and asked excitedly, “What does it
say
?” I was
dying
to know. Having held that damn paper for two days and not reading it was absolute torture.
Her brow rose. “You didn’t read it?”
“No!” I shook her again. “Tell
me
!”
A small smile graced her face. “It says…” her breath caught, “…
You’re worth more
.” She folded the paper and stuck it in her back pocket, emotionless.
I blinked. “That’s it?”
She nodded. “That’s it.”
“No number?”
She shook her head slowly. “No number.”
I stayed silent a second before I burst out an outraged, “That’s bull
shit
!”
She chuckled humorlessly. “Do you blame him? I went to the bar he works at, shamelessly hit on him, and then didn’t wait ten minutes to screw a guy I barely knew in a dirty restroom.” She lowered her face, ashamed. “That kind of thing doesn’t scream
she’s the one
.”
I rested my hand on her shoulder. “You made a mistake. Everyone does, Ella. People learn from their mistakes. I know you have.”
She nodded and uttered an unfeeling, “Sure.”
My eyes narrowed as I thought hard about something,
anything
that would cheer her up. My lips spread into a smile as I took her hand and threw open the apartment door. Walking across the hall, I knocked on the door opposite mine.
Ella asked guardedly, “Uh, what are we doing?”
The door flew open and Terry stood there, a headband holding his hair back, his face covered in white goop. He looked at the two of us and gasped happily, “Girls’ night!” Leaving us in the doorway, he rushed down the hall, calling back, “Well, what are you waiting for? Get inside, bitches!”
We got inside. Terry masked us up as Bill topped off our wine glasses. By the end of the night, Ella was laughing freely at something Bill had said, not an ounce of despair etched in her features. I smiled thankfully over at Terry. As he walked past me, he pressed a kiss to the top of my head.
Friends like these were hard to find.
How’d I get so lucky?
It was close to one a.m. and Ella had left just minutes earlier. I kissed the guys on the cheeks, thanking them for their incomparable hospitality, and made my way home.
My bed was calling my name. It had been a busy day. And night. I slid under the covers, not bothering to change my clothes. Just as I began falling asleep, my phone vibrated on the nightstand, next to the bowl of forgotten cereal.
I reached out for it and unlocked the screen. My brow slacked and my mouth gaped. Twenty-two missed calls. Eight messages. What on earth?
Every missed call was from Quinn. So were the messages.
Quinn: Where are you?
Quinn: Mia, where’d you go?
Quinn: You seriously snuck out while I was asleep? Shit, Mia. You’re a walking cliché!
Quinn: Pick up. Pick up. Pick up. Pick up.
Quinn: You’re freaking me out now. Pls call me when you get this.
Quinn: I’ve got work in an hour. Call me.
Quinn: MIA! PICK UP!!!
Quinn: I’m not even kidding. I’m going to call your brother to see if he’s heard from you.
My stomach sank with dread. Oh God. I was in
so
much trouble. I quickly dialed, holding the phone to my ear. The phone rang once. He answered with a booming, “Where
were
you?”
“I—” But I was cut off.
“Shit. I’ve been going
out of my mind
with worry! First, you snuck out like a thief in the night.” I winced. “Then you don’t answer your phone when I call. Fuck, I called in sick because I was so worried that something had happened to you.” I winced harder. “I was just about to call your brother! Where the
fuck
were you?”
Oh, shit. He was angry.
Not angry. But
angry
.
Something told me honesty was my best option. “I’m so sorry, Quinn. It’s just…you looked like you needed the sleep, so I left and caught the bus home. I was home most of the night, but then my work friend Ella came by, which was actually great, because I was so worried about her after some drama the other night, and she was avoiding my calls.” He snorted and I knew he was thinking,
That last part sounds familiar
. I quickly went on, rushing out, “And she was so sad that I wanted to do something to cheer her up, so I took her across the hall to Bill and Terry’s, where we did facials, drank expensive wine, and watched TV.” I blew out a breath. “I just came home now. I left my phone at home.”
It was a lame explanation. I knew. He knew it. We all knew it.
He stayed silent a long time.
“I’m so sorry you skipped work, Quinn,” I uttered softly, meaning it. I had just cost him two thousand dollars.
I was ready for the berating. I steeled myself for the scolding. Instead, I got a relieved sounding, “She’s okay.” Then louder, “You’re okay.”
I nodded, even though I knew he couldn’t see it. “I’m okay. Really.”
He sounded tired. “God, I was so worried.” My heart broke at the tone of his voice. “Why’d you leave?”
Asshole. I was a giant asshole. “I didn’t want to wake you.”
My brain yelled out, “
Lame!
”
His voice regained some of its fire. “I don’t give a fuck, Mia. If I bring you to mine, you wake me and I’ll take you home. You don’t just
leave
.” His voice grated, “If something happened to you…”
“But nothing happened!” I cried, exasperated.
He went silent and I knew I shouldn’t have spoken. Then he uttered a calm, “Next time, wake me.”
Next time. I liked that. What I didn’t like was that he sounded too calm. Deathly calm.
Rather than call him on it, I uttered a reassuring, “Oh, God, Quinn. I’m so sorry. I promise, next time I’ll wake you. I never meant to worry you. I thought letting you sleep was a priority, but I can see now that I just messed things up.” My insides clenched and I closed my eyes in regret. “I’m sorry, Quinn.
So
sorry. I’m an asshole. A giant asshole.”
He sniffed a laugh. “No, you’re not. But yeah, you messed up.” I groaned loudly and he muttered, “But you’re safe and that’s all that matters.”
I didn’t speak. I didn’t know what to say apart from sorry.
“Goodnight, Mia.”
A remorseful tone shook my voice. “Goodnight, Quinn.”
I placed the phone on my bedside.
Sleep evaded me for hours into the night.