Abram's Daughters 05 The Revelation (31 page)

Lizzie shook her head, tears threatening to spill. "He never knew I birthed you. Didn't even know who I was, or that I was Amish ...

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I looked far different back then." She reminded Leah of how she'd cut her hair and donned English clothes, turning her back on lici Plain upbringing. "Rebellious as can be, I was."

Rebellious.

The word stung like a nettle, and Leah suddenly wondered aboui poor Lorraine. "What was Dr. Schwartz thinkin', for pity's sake? Ai the time he had to have been married with young sons, for sure!"

Lizzie put her hand over her heart. " "Tis so. I'm awful sorry 11 > say, but later that night, when he was beginning to sober up, he had the urge to confess to me that he'd been separated from his family for over a year. Lorraine and the boys had gone home to live willi her parents while he finished his studies to become a doctor. He told me it was a trying time for them, but that was all I knew. Bein' from Hickory Hollow, I had no idea I'd ever see him again." Liz/.ir stopped to catch her breath. "When I found out I was in the family way, well, I was just stunned. And I wouldn't have known where i<> find him, even if I'd wanted to. I felt just awful, in every which way you can imagine." She added that it was then she'd felt compelled lo make things right with God and the church.

Leah's heart broke anew for Lizzie and for the man who was her natural father. "Seems like Dr. Schwartz made things even wor.se for himself with his doings. But... as you say, he has no idea I'm his daughter." She couldn't help wondering if Lorraine had been aware of the extent of her husband's betrayal. She seems like the kind of woman who might love a man in spite of himself .

Leah wondered if the doctor's immoral tendencies had been passed along to Derry, the boy who'd gotten Sadie in trouble tin1 boy who had been, in fact, Leah's own half brother. The realization was startling.

Lizzie let the reins fall onto her lap. "What I've just shared should be for your ears only, Leah. Dr. Schwartz need never know."

Wholeheartedly Leah agreed. "Nothing gut can come of tellirT, for sure and for certain. But I won't be keepin' any secrets from Jonas. I'll tell him once he becomes my husband."

"You're wise in that, I should say, provided he keeps it under his hat."

"No question 'bout it, Jonas can be trusted."

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The Revelation

Moments later Leah realized she had another half brother in I'-'Ih-i'I, And, come to think of it, she was both cousin and aunt to N . mid I he same for baby Ruthie. Strange as it seemed, she was ii more closely related on the Schwartz side than the Ebersol! I Ir I' mind in a whirl now as she pondered the many connections, I- ukl more to herself than to Lizzie, "I s'pose it might be best for ' not to think too hard 'bout all this."

I jy,/,ie seemed to understand. "Why don't you give this to the i . il, just as I've had to."

''Oh, I'll be talkin' to God 'bout this, all right." She would also i licr heart to pray even more often for Dr. Schwartz and Lorraine

I. 11 id coming days. Recently the couple had actually talked of doii H iomc volunteer work overseas, possibly getting involved with a h.i 'ion organization and this after the doctor had appeared to ii. n ly give up on life. God can work such miracles, she thought.

I lappy to be able to say it, she told Lizzie, "Mary Ruth says Dr. '" I iwartz has been attendin' church with his wife every Sunday sinceI i.icr.

"Well, that's glorious news." Lizzie clapped her hands. "Praise be!"

They rode along in the buggy, smiling into each other's faces, in.iking up all the love their hearts could hold.

With admiration, Leah reached to pat Aunt Lizzie's hand, dunking of the many honorable and godly traits her natural mother

Lilly demonstrated.

11 was toward the latter part of August, and Hannah had tucked lour-month-old baby Ada into her crib for a morning nap. The weeks since this wee one's birth had seemed nearly endless to Hannah, and she needed to get out of the house for a bit. Since the older ^irls were already back in school, she'd asked Gid if, on his way to I lie blacksmith's shop, he could see whether either Leah or Lizzie itnild watch Ada for a couple of hours this morning.

It wasn't long before Leah came with her needlework, wearing a bright smile. "Go out for a mornin' ride, Hannah, and don't worry

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'bout a thing. I'll take care of Ada as if she were my own," she saitl. nearly shooing her out the door.

"I won't be long. It's lookin' to be another scorcher of a day without a speck of rain."

Leah waved good-bye, and Hannah thought again that it was too bad her sister was getting married so late in life. Leah would'w made a loving mother to quite a brood, given the chance. Here lately Leah had told her that she believed the Lord had kept Jonas just for her, though Hannah didn't quite know what to think about that.

Eager to get going, she took her father's horse and carriage down east a ways, heading for the cemetery. Soon she found herself alone beneath the sleek blue sky and knobby trunks of trees, the breezes surrounding her like sultry whispers. The day would soon be blister ing hot, and she wouldn't want to be outdoors once the sun rose high overhead. But she had needed to come here, to this hushed and tranquil place where so many of her dear ones lay in their graves, awaiting the Judgment Day.

Wandering along the rows of headstones, she was cautious not in step on the grassy plots. As a young girl, she'd felt nearly ill when she had accidentally tripped and planted one bare foot right in the mill die of a newly laid grave, feeling as guilty as if she'd committed the worst possible of sins. It wouldn't do to make that mistake again.

Presently she spied the small white markers for Dawdi and Mammi Ebersol's graves and dear Mamma's, too. She blinked back tears as Dawdi John and Mammi Brenneman's gravestones also came into view. Overcome with an immense burden of sadness, she sat on an old tree stump cut nearly level with the ground. "Why must anybody die?" she spoke aloud.

She had long decided there were no sensible answers when it came to this final circumstance; all were helpless against the sting of death.

Numerous times over the years she had longed to rush to Dat's house and talk to Mamma about everything from how the baby blues seemed to catch some women unawares to why it seemed the Lord God heavenly Father listened intently to some folk's prayers and not at all to others. Such thoughts ofttimes made her feel as gloomy as she did this moment.

Aware of the heaviness in the air and the ache in her heart, Han-

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Itrih NUI iIiltc watching the birds, some in flight and others perched iliul culling back and forth in the many trees surrounding the cemeWy, (in n it really be true that God cares for each of them, just as Gid,\f

When at last she rose to stroll down yet another row of tombnt*s, she heard someone sneeze. Turning to look, she saw Deacon iilt/JiiNs wife, Sarah, painstakingly making her way through the idi ferns and up the slope toward the cemetery. "I lullo," Hannah called so as not to alarm her. ' I 'lie older woman was startled nonetheless, eyes wide at the sight i her. "Ach, I didn't expect to see Preacher Peachey's wife here on ic 11 .1 line summer's day."

I lannah might've said the same of her. "Oh, I come here every n nltcii," she admitted. "I miss my relatives terribly . . . 'speciallyMtinmui."

Tears sprang up in the woman's eyes, and Hannah felt sorry for

111 viii(4 sa'd the wrong thing altogether.

"I've never told a soul, but I visit this place quite often." Sarah I- med against a tree trunk to steady herself, her lip quivering. After I i imc she moved onward without saying more, her gaze intent on a fi-ive marker not far from Bishop Bontrager's own.

/ ler son Elias, Mary Ruth's first beau . . . dead fifteen years. I lannah recognized the same sort of unresolved grief in Sarah as

11. isell the heartrending anguish she'd felt at the loss of each and

cry relative whd

ii uggle with her fear^even abhorrence of death. "I think I know In'W you must feel," she suddenly called after Sarah.

The woman turned, her face wet with tears. "Oh, Hannah, you mi rely do, losin' your mamma 'n' all."

"Iah, such wretched turmoil. . . feelin' trapped in one place, un,ihle to forget the pain." She stopped to catch her breath, aware now nl the sun's rays beating hard against her back. "Why is it the Lord < iod chooses to take some young and healthy ones and let others Miffer long past their time of usefulness?" Hannah asked. "I don't understand ever so many things the ins and outs of the Ordnung we're s'posed to take at face value, or the divine lot fallin' on an aus-

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Beverly Lewis

tere man, making him bishop, instead of a kinder, more compassionate man." She felt the words pour out of her, powerless to slop even though she was on dangerous ground, talking this way about the Lord's anointed.

Sarah made no answer and Hannah reached out, impulsively clasp ing her wrinkled hand. "You aren't alone, Sarah. I promise ya thai."

They walked together through the thick grass, slowly moving toward Elias's grave. When they found it, they stood silently, two ministers' wives, both tormented by long-held grief.

Hannah considered the burial services she'd attended from Iki childhood on the endless funeral sermons and processions <>l horses and carriages creeping down back roads to this burial plate, the earthy smell of freshly dug graves, her fear as the first shovelful of dirt struck against a wooden coffin. She remembered having of ten felt guilty to be among the living, yet never wanting to expei i ence death herself.

Sarah was crying now, her stooped shoulders heaving and Iki hand over her face as the two of them stood beneath the archiii|', branches of an ancient oak tree.

In that instant Hannah pitied Sarah more than she pitied herscll. This poor woman must never again be alone in her sorrow, not if Hannah had any say in it. "Come, I'll take you home," she said gen tly, thinking it was dangerous for her to be walking alone on the road. "No one needs to know you were here today ... no one but me."

"Oh, denki. . . such a liewe dear girl."

Hannah helped Elias's brokenhearted mamma creep down the grassy hill toward the waiting horse and buggy, tending to her as il she were her own mother.

Sunday morning Lydiann got herself settled on a bench on the side with the women folk, glad Dat had decided to have Preachiu;', service here in the barn, where occasional breezes could be felt this late August morning. The sun hadn't been up but three hours, and

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In uly ii was nearly unbearable out, the bugs thicker than ever.

1 .1 iU'IiiI lor the pretty flower hankie Hannah had made for her last

1 In isuikis, she waved it back and forth in front of her face, hoping I'M Milne relief, but anxious lest she breathe in a fly. Best not to do any t; i ifii in' during the second sermon, Lydiann thought.

She'd chosen to sit with some of the girls her own age for these Miiiincr Preaching services, and Mamma hadn't minded at all. I iffp into courting age now, Lydiann had discovered as many nice Ylriiiimiite boys and good-looking ones, too as Amish fellas. < tile boys aside, lately she'd been leaning in the direction of the rvirniionites, mostly because the sermons made a whole lot of sense in her. Besides that, she liked to understand what was being talked (hum, something that wouldn't be the case with the sermons given unlay in High German, here in Dat's bank barn.

She looked over at her sisters and Aunt Lizzie and Mamma Ifflh, all of them sitting together, with Hannah's girls nearby and Imhy Ada snuggled in Aunt Lizzie's arms. Lydiann's heart was full >vllh joy for Mamma Leah. She would never forget the way Mumma's pretty eyes had lit up at Jonas's return from Ohio. And now Mamma was in a perpetual state of anticipation, waiting to be united with her beloved the boy Mamma had always loved, or so ihr siory went.

Lydiann felt sure she'd be one of Mamma's bride attendants. And most likely, Jonas would ask one of his teenaged nephews, perlups one of his sistdfr Anna's sons and Leah's Uncle Jesse Ebersol's von tiger boys.

But she oughtn't be pondering such things as who she might be I mi red up with at Mamma and Jonas's wedding, not with the minisirrs making their entrance and the Preaching service about to begin. Yel it was next to impossible to sweep such exciting thoughts of love tway. How could she, when she longed for the same kind of love M;imma and Jonas shared? That precious, narrow distance between i wo innocent hearts. . . .

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They were well into the three-hour meeting and Deacolfl Stoltzfus's reading of a chapter from the Bible when a horseli;iilj floated past Lydiann, soaring horizontally over the heads of I lid People. I

Right away she knew what her brother and his friends were u| j to, all of them sitting in the back row of benches on the men's siclaI where they could conceal their assembly line and usual antics. On a of the boys, probably Abe, mischief maker that he was, had put m long horsehair or two in his pocket this morning for this stunt. ScvJ eral times now she'd witnessed her brother catch a fly between 111MB thumb and forefinger, baiting it first with his own disgusting spit',1 Another boy would make a small, open loop in the end of the horse J hair, and the captured insect, still alive, would have its head struiijH through the horsehair with the loop closing skillfully around R*n neck. Abe and his friends would repeat the process till four or hvej flies were tied to a single horsehair, finally releasing the clever crcJ ation to buzz and dip and dive over the entire assembly. 1

Abe never gets caught, she thought, assuming many of the flock] were already dozing off due to the heat and the length of the meeting, j

The airborne horsehair was about to soar past Jonas Mast, wliol was wide awake. He glanced up and saw the boys' prank, and llie| biggest grin appeared on his face. J

She watched the flies drift farther toward the front, right over! the deacon's head, but he never paid any mind and droned on as lie] read the Scripture in High German. i