Absolute Beginners (Absolute #1) (12 page)

“Rambo?” Megan cackled. “There’s a blast from the past!”

God, I’m so old
.

“Have fun, Stephen!” Sophia called, giving me a quick wave before Julia slammed the door.

I could still hear them laughing outside as they walked down the stairs. Julia ran her hands through her hair and tilted her head back.

“Fuck,” she whispered to the ceiling.

I watched as she opened one of her desk drawers and pulled out a rumpled pack of cigarettes. She walked over to the window, leaned out, and lit one up. Exhaling the smoke into the night air, she slumped forward, resting her elbows on the windowsill.

“Are you…all right?” I asked.

She nodded her head, taking another drag.

“Sorry, I don’t usually smoke at home,” she said. “I just
really
didn’t want them to find out about you.”

Right. I’m hardly something to brag about
.

As if she’d heard my thoughts, she spun around, keeping her cigarette outside the window, for which I was very grateful.

“That didn’t come out right,” she said. “I’m not embarrassed, or anything like that. It’s just…they’re not going to shut up about this now.”

“And you don’t like talking about it?” I asked, surprised. I was under the impression that Julia enjoyed talking about sex.

“No, that’s not it,” she said quickly. “They’ll hound me for private stuff about you—what you look like naked, and if you know how to go down on me properly.”

Dear God, no! I don’t want them to know what I look like naked and my abilities in the “going down” department have never been tested. I’m probably horrible at it
.

“I’m usually not afraid to divulge, but it’s different with you. They might be in one of your classes next semester and I don’t want them sitting there, thinking about your hot body,” she said, turning to take a drag.

“I…thank you, I guess,” I said, nearly draining my beer to get rid of my dry mouth.

Julia threw the cigarette out and turned, giving me a lopsided grin. “No, I should be the one saying thank you,” she said. “You’re a pretty stellar lay.”

“Oh, well, you’re…um…stellar, too,” I stuttered, feeling my face grow hot.

She merely smiled and excused herself before going into the bathroom. She came back a few minutes later, declaring herself minty fresh. It made me wonder if she’d brushed after the cigarette because she wanted to kiss me at some point. I found myself hoping she might.

“I’m really sorry we got busted like that,” she said, flopping down onto the bed. “But I swear that you can trust Meg and Sophia to keep their traps shut. They won’t say anything to anyone. They’re like sisters to me.”

I nodded, hoping she was right. Her friends hadn’t looked shocked when they found me here, which was very surprising. It put me at ease that they didn’t judge me. They had just seemed curious rather than appalled.

“Have you told anyone?” she asked. “Your brother, or—”

“No!” I said, much too emphatically, and added, “I mean, not that I’m embarrassed either or anything like that, it’s just, you know, against the rules, and I don’t ever talk about, um, sex with anyone anyway, so, no. But, um, I guess it would be him if I told anyone, but I won’t because, well, you know.” I took off my glasses and scrubbed my face with my hands.

Stop talking, stop talking, stop talking
.

She let out a small laugh and I looked up at her.

“You’re funny,” she giggled and jumped to her feet. “Do you want another beer?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I should go.”

“Oh, you don’t want to stay?”

“No, I do,” I said immediately. “I just didn’t think you’d want me to after…you know.” I motioned to the door where her friends had just left.

“They’re not coming back tonight, and we might as well have fun if you’re still interested.” She walked over to where I was sitting. “Are you still interested?” she asked, smiling.

“Uh-huh.”

She sat down in my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. “I had fun last time, didn’t you?”

I nodded, swallowing nervously. She leaned in and brushed her lips against mine before pulling away.

“I don’t taste like smoke, do I?” she asked. “I know you don’t like that.”

“Not at all.” I wasn’t sure it would have stopped me from kissing her if she had, though.

She pressed her lips against mine again and I groaned when I felt her tongue requesting access. My hands on her waist gripped a little tighter as my thumbs rubbed circles just below her chest. She moaned softly before grabbing my right hand, sliding it under the neckline of her robe and placing it on her naked breast. I cupped it gently and marveled at the contrast between the softness of the mound and the hardness of her puckered nipple. She angled her head slightly and deepened the kiss, while her hands caressed my face and then moved to my hair. It all felt so good, and I especially liked it when she moaned, kissing me deeper, when I started massaging her breast a bit more firmly.

There was a knock on the door and I groaned in frustration when she pulled away.

“Don’t worry,” she said with a smile. “We’ll continue this later.” She climbed off my lap. “Will you get the pizza and I’ll get us some more drinks?”

That would be really embarrassing for me
.

“Um, it’s not that I don’t want to help you, but I, uh, I need a minute to…collect myself,” I explained. Her eyes darted to my lap. The predicament I was in due to the heated kiss we had just shared was clearly visible.

“Oh.” She grinned. “Sorry, I didn’t think about that. You stay here, then.”

She walked to the door and I was grateful that this time it was actually a pizza delivery guy on the other side. That is, until his eyes traveled over her scarcely clad body and I felt a tightening in my chest. I could see that he desired her and it made me feel angry.

Stop looking at her like that
.

I jumped out of my chair and before I could think about what I was doing, I’d walked over, wrapping my arms around Julia from behind. The guy gave me a sour look, and for some reason I liked it a lot.

“Have a good night,” he said, clearly only meaning Julia.

“We will,” I said, leaning down to kiss the side of her neck. The guy glared at me again and turned to walk down the stairs. Julia turned her head, giving me a curious look.

“I’m sorry,” I said, letting go of her. “I don’t know why I did that.”

“I do,” she said, heading into the kitchen. I followed and heard her mutter, “Men.”

“I’m sorry,” I said again. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my waist.

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable, Stephen, but you probably shouldn’t do something like that again.” She stood up on her toes and kissed me lightly. “That wasn’t exactly the stealthiest move back there. We need to keep this secret for both our sakes, right?”

I nodded.

“I can’t have you getting all territorial with me.”

Territorial? Is that what she thinks I was doing? That wasn’t it at all…was it?

“I don’t think I was being territorial,” I said.

“Yes, you were,” she argued. “You saw the pizza guy ogling the girl you’re fucking and you wanted to show him that I was off limits. Typical guy behavior.”

I gaped at her while she smiled.

“It’s OK, Stephen. You just can’t do stuff like that on campus, if a guy flirts with me or asks me out. I have to be your student when we’re in school and nothing else.”

I knew that she was right.

“Besides, I’m not sleeping with anyone else, so you don’t have to worry,” she added.

“You’re not?”

“No, sleeping with two people at the same time gets complicated and I don’t do complicated. As long as
you’re
fucking me, no one else is,” she said.

“Oh, that’s good, I suppose,” I said. “Um, what about dating?” I asked, remembering my possible blind date with Lily.

“I don’t date. Dating leads to boyfriends, and I don’t do relationships. I like to keep things simple, you know?”

“I guess so,” I said, although I really didn’t. I had never considered having sex with someone I wasn’t dating.

“Stephen?”

“Yes?”

“I like fucking you and I like hanging out with you,” she said. “But if that isn’t your sort of thing, that’s perfectly fine.”

What exactly is she saying? She wants to keep doing this?

“You…you want to do this again?” I asked her.

“Sure,” she said with a smile. “You can come by a few nights a week when both of us are free.”

I thought about what she was offering: physical pleasure with no strings attached. Was such a thing even possible? More important, did I want something like that? I wanted to have sex with her again. And I did like talking to her as well. At least, I did when she wasn’t being argumentative and stubborn. She seemed so different here in her apartment than she did in class, but it didn’t change the fact that she was my student and seeing her privately wasn’t allowed. All my life I had played by the rules, and I’d never thought I would find myself in this position, doing something that put my career at risk. Julia was still holding me around my waist, looking expectantly at me while I struggled to come to the right decision.

“Look, you don’t have to answer right this second,” she said. “Think about it, OK?”

I nodded and she reached up again, giving me a quick kiss.

“Let’s eat before it gets cold.”

I watched silently while she grabbed the pizza and two beers from the refrigerator. She put the box on the bed with some napkins and placed our drinks on the nightstand. All the while, I was still trying to figure out how it would work if I did come back here again another night. Could I really just come by her place and have casual sex whenever it was convenient? I knew this wasn’t how one should treat a woman. But Julia didn’t seem to care at all about stuff like that. She was the one who’d suggested continuing our pleasurable, albeit strange arrangement and while I’d found that I liked that she was so free with her sexuality, it still went against my sense of propriety.

“Hey.” She interrupted my musings. “You’re thinking way too much about this. Come have some food and just relax for a while.”

I sat down on the bed, leaning against the headboard as she handed me a slice. I secretly wished for a plate, but decided that it was probably best not to say anything.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” she asked.

“What did you have in mind?”

“We can watch
Kill Bill
,” she said with a grin. “Get you up to date on cultural references.”

“What’s it about?” I asked, taking a careful bite of the pizza, which was very tasty.

It didn’t go unnoticed by me that whatever Julia provided, whether it was food, drink, or sex, I enjoyed it immensely.

“It’s an action movie. Sword fights, kung fu, and other stuff like that. I can’t believe you’ve never seen it.”

“I guess I’ve missed a few things on account of studies and work. Put it on.”

“Awesome!” she jumped off the bed. “Oh, you’re not squeamish about blood, right?”

“No, why?”

“There’s a lot of that in it, and I wouldn’t want to scare you.”

“I guess I shouldn’t bring a copy of
Arachnophobia
next time, then, huh?” I teased her.

Did I just say “next time”?

“No way, I wouldn’t be able to sleep for a week,” she said, shuddering.

She found the DVD, and I was thankful that she either didn’t notice my comment about there being a next time, or else simply ignored it. We started the movie, and while it wasn’t one I would have chosen, I liked watching her enjoy it.

Julia wolfed down half the pizza before the first scene was over, which was impressive given her small size.

“Wow, you can eat a lot,” I blurted out.

“I know,” she said. “Thank God I have a killer metabolism. I don’t think I’d ever be able to live off salads.”

“You don’t exercise?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I do yoga a few times a week, and I’ve taken some dance classes. But I don’t work out like you obviously do.”

She looked at my body and I shifted nervously under her gaze.

“Why do you hide that fuck-hot body of yours under those loose-fitting clothes?” she asked. “I never would have guessed that you’re so ripped.”

“Um, I don’t know, really,” I said, taking a sip of my beer. “I don’t know a lot about, uh, fashion, and I guess I just dress like the rest of the male faculty.”

“Yeah, but most of them are old enough to be your father, Stephen. I mean, the bowtie?”

“It was my father’s,” I said quietly.

“Was?”

“He passed away. It was a long time ago.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I shouldn’t have made fun of it.” She looked contrite.

“It’s all right,” I assured her. I didn’t feel quite right teaching a class without the bowtie, and I didn’t fully understand why. I was sure a psychologist would have a lot to say about it. I wasn’t blind, and I could see that in a lot of ways I had adopted my father’s traits, ranging from his taste in music to clothing. He’d taught English in high school, so I had even followed in his footsteps careerwise. I’d also inherited some of his personality. My mother would sometimes tell me I was exactly like my father, but I could tell she didn’t always mean it as a good thing. From what I remembered, my father was a solitary man, and most of my memories were of him reading or working on some sort of project in his study. I hadn’t meant to, but I had become solitary as well.

“Stephen?” Julia’s voice brought me out of my musings. “Are you OK?”

I nodded, turning toward her. I found myself thankful for her company. I wasn’t alone right now. I was with this pretty girl, having pizza and conversation. The movie on the screen was forgotten for the moment and she gave me her complete attention.

“I really am sorry,” she said. “I get why you’d wear something of your dad’s. But you still shouldn’t be afraid of showing off your goods a little more. You’re young and hot.”

While I thought her compliments were a bit forward, I couldn’t help but like them.

“Oh, I…thank you,” I said, looking down.