Accepted Fate (6 page)

I can see the defeat in dad's eyes. He always did hate to upset me. Maybe I should calm down some. I'm about to apologize, when mom holds up her hand, stopping me. "Kinzleigh, I know this is a lot to take in, but you will not take that tone with us again. I think we can all agree that dad has only ever had our best interests at heart, but regardless, we are a family and we will continue to live that way. Are we clear?" I nod because when mom gets frustrated the best thing to do is remain quiet.

I take a deep breath, trying to process everything they are saying and mom begins again. "This is going to affect all of our lives, not just yours and we understand that. I'm not all that thrilled with leaving my job and friends either, but families support each other and this is what dad needs right now. We are not going to be selfish, with all that he's done for us. You have until the end of June to spend time with your friends and say your goodbyes. If, after your senior year, you decide you want to go to college back here, then we will evaluate at that time. We are not trying to take your dreams away from you, Kinzleigh. It's just one year of high school. You can cheer anywhere. I know you are my little planner and can't seem to function in chaos, but sometimes the unexpected happens and you just have to roll with it."

She then turns to look at Konnor, who is just sitting there, as if nothing abnormal is even happening. "Konnor, as for you, you are eighteen now and ready to start college. Dad and I understand you have made a commitment to UCLA for football. You have two options. If you want to continue with that commitment, dad and I will provide an apartment close to campus for you. If you want to be closer to us, dad will do everything in his power to get you set up at your first choice school. It's your choice, but you need to think about it before it's no longer an option. You have a week to make a decision. Dad has already contacted the coach at Alabama and pulled some strings. His scholarship offer is good for one week, then there is nothing he can do. I know that was your original choice because they have one of the best football programs in the country, but chose California for Sophia. Since that is no longer the case, maybe you need a change too, sweetie."

I'm sitting there in complete shock. This is actually happening. Before I can stop myself, I blurt out, "Where are we moving?"

Dad finally appears to be calming down. He looks at me, placing his hands in front of him on the table. "We're moving to Mississippi." My mouth drops and my eyes go wide. I'm speechless. This is not just my worst nightmare, but hell on earth.

Tears begin to fall. I can't hold them back any longer. I look from mom to dad, mouth quivering, trying not to cry hysterically. "You're sending us to live in a place with a bunch of hillbillies? Do they even know what cheerleaders are? Dad, you've seen on television the kind of people that live there. Please tell me this is a joke."

He is beginning to look angry, as if I've accused him of stealing. "Kinzleigh, I'm very disappointed in you right now. You know your mother and I have always taught you to never judge anything or anyone by hearsay or appearance. Things are rarely as they seem. Do you really think I would move my family somewhere unfit? I should have earned more respect than that."

I feel like I'm going to be sick. I have had enough bad news for one night. I need to get out of here, to think all this through. Usually, I work out my stress and frustration in the gym practicing, but it's too late. I'll have to go to the one place I always find peace and serenity, the beach.

I wipe the tears from my face as best as I can and place my napkin on my plate. Scooting my chair back, I stand. Looking at my parents, the two people I adore most, other than my brother, that has just hurt me worse than ever imaginable, I ask. "May I be excused? I really need to be alone right now."

Both parents nod their heads, excusing me from dinner, before mom says, "You can go for now, but we need to finish this conversation later."

I can't imagine it being anytime soon. "I'll be home later, don't wait up, okay? I'll get a cab." I grab my purse, turn and walk as fast as possible until I get to the door of the lobby.

I reach the outside of the restaurant, before my breaths become short and quick. I bend forward, placing a hand on each knee, trying to breathe. I'm on the verge of a panic attack, one I haven't had since Grams died.
Breathe Kinzleigh, breathe
, I repeat to myself over and over, trying to calm down. I finally catch my breath enough to stand upright. I walk to the curb and hold up my arm trying to hail a cab. Thankfully, it's late enough I don't have to wait long.

Getting in the cab, an elderly white haired man, wearing a beret, turns to me tipping his hat. "Miss, where would you like to go?"       I probably look like a hot mess. I pull out my compact mirror to try and fix myself and look back at him. "The pier please."

CHAPTER 4

Kinzleigh

The cab pulls in about a half mile from the pier. The driver turns to me, placing his arm over the back of the seat, "Is this okay miss?"

I nod and hand him a twenty, "This is fine. Thank you. Keep the change."

I open the door, placing my right foot outside, when I hear the driver clear his throat. "You look like you've had one of those days. I hope things get better for you."

I step out of the car before sticking my head back inside, "It isn't looking that way, but thank you for your kindness. It's a rare quality these days."

I shut the door and watch the driver pull back onto the street. I turn around facing the sand, luminescent in the moonlight. Holding on to the rail that leads down the steps to the beach, I pull off one shoe followed by the other. I have enjoyed the tranquility of the beach since I was a kid. The waves crashing against the shore always had a way of melting the stress away. I walk down the steps towards the shoreline, my silver clutch hanging from my wrist with my shoes in one hand, holding my dress up with the other. The sand, squishing between my toes, is still warm from the hot day. I make it to the water's edge and stop.

Placing my shoes down in the sand, I release my dress and look up at the sky. It's a beautiful night. The stars are twinkling as if they know I'm here, enjoying their beauty. My hair and dress begin dancing in the breeze. For a summer night, the temperature is perfect. It's dark being so far away from the street lamps, but I welcome it. As I look out across the water, the Pacific Ocean looks black, with just the reflection of the moonlight. I close my eyes, enjoying the sound and the feel of the water crashing against my ankles, completely at peace. The bottom of my dress gets soaked from the waves washing ashore, but I don't care. I begin to walk out farther into the ocean as if it's calling to me, but decide against it. I still have to get home and I don't have a change of clothes.

The half mile strip from here to the pier is usually free from locals or tourists, aside from the occasional fisherman. That's why I love it here. I can come here and enjoy being free from worry or stress or heartache. It's an escape for me. The only person that knows I come here is Konnor. The night I found out Grams died, I took off and came here. He was worried and ended up here when I didn't come home or answer my phone. That's the last time I had to come here at night, my safe haven. I'm really going to miss this place.

I pick up my shoes that are sitting in the sand and start to walk towards the pier. I just don't understand why I have worked so hard and yet somehow, fate has turned against me. I walk the half mile along the shoreline when I reach the pier. I climb the steps and begin walking towards the end of the worn wood that is suspended about a mile out into the water. The pier is enclosed by side rails and a roof, perfect for whatever the weather has planned. At the end, there is a bench on the right and a bench on the left, followed by a section that is uncovered, but continuous railing for fishing.

I finally reach the end and sit, placing my legs over the side but because of my height they do not reach the water. The night begins to replay through my thoughts. I can't believe everything I've worked so hard for is crashing down around me. Being squad captain of one of the top 5 squads in the country guaranteed me a spot on almost any college in the country. Even if this Hicksville town, Mississippi has a cheerleading squad, will they even have room for another cheerleader? Do they even compete? Now, I'm going to have to work harder just to get a tryout at the colleges I'm interested in.

Why would my parents just pick up and move us when I have one year of high school left? How do they expect me to just leave everything I know behind and start over? I have friends here, family. That has to mean something to them. This isn't fair. Maybe I can think of a way to stay behind. I just have to. My parents have got to understand what this will do to me. I just want to wake up and realize this is all a dream. All I can do is stare out at the ocean, lost in thought.

All of my emotions finally catch up to me and the tears start to fall, heavier this time. I can't stop them anymore. I don't know what to do. Everything was going great in my life and now the misery is about to begin. I don't even try to wipe the tears away anymore, I just let them flow. I don't understand why, out of all the states in the continental U.S., my parents have to choose some po-dunk town in Mississippi. I can't imagine the kind of people that reside there. After that big hurricane, Katrina I think, they had people on television walking around barefooted and missing teeth. Do they even have shopping malls and designer clothes, I wonder, or is it full of trailer parks and cow fields? My stomach turns at the thought.

I'm not sure how long I've been sitting there, staring at the water, but my back is beginning to hurt from my position and I'm growing tired from crying. I can't stop the tears that continue to fall. I should just go home and go to bed, but I'm not ready to face my parents yet. I know they will still be up and wanting me to talk. That I cannot do yet. I lay back against the pier, looking up into the sky. It's dark, but the sky is clear; the perfect shade of onyx marked by the speckled pattern of stars, glittering across the horizon. The moon glows like a spotlight, lighting up the pier. It's beautiful glancing out at all the stars, shining brightly as if each holds a story of their own. It's also a full moon tonight.

I just lay flat against the warm wood; arms stretched out to my sides and allow myself to enjoy the starry night. I wonder if you talk, would there be someone to listen up there? Maybe there is a keeper of the sky, assigned to keep the stars in perfect order and change the days to night. Maybe he gets lonely and just wants to listen. At least then, all my secrets would be safe.
Listen to yourself Kinzleigh. A sky keeper? Really? You're becoming quite the delusional one.
A strange peacefulness begins to wash over me, causing me to close my eyes. Clearly my mind is not in normal territory, because I would never close my eyes late at night on a public beach. There are too many creeps out there but I suddenly just feel the need to sleep, like someone or something is watching over me.

I couldn't have been laying there but what seemed like a few minutes, in the midst of a new dream, when I hear footsteps along the pier. I must have dozed off, but instead of my eyes bolting open at the sound, I just incorporated it into my dream. That is, until... "Mind if I join you," flows through my ears in a deep, raspy southern voice. My eyes pop open and a tall familiar face is standing over me, looking down, with a smile on his face.

I begin to panic and sit up in a hurry, embarrassed at being caught sleeping on a pier. Embarrassment is a rare trait for me and this guy has brought it out twice in one day. "I'm sorry. I don't usually do this, but it's been a bad night. I'm a little more tired than usual." I look back out at the water, gripping the side of the pier, as if the most beautiful boy isn't standing behind me. He stuns me. Right then, I can feel his breathing on the back of my neck, quickening my heart rate. In the short time of his presence, he has managed to squat behind me, placing the inside of each knee resting against my side. I don't even think he's trying to touch me, but the contact is making my body do things I don't understand.

He begins to whisper in my ear, "May I keep you company for a while? I'll be quiet if that's what you need." His breath is so light, it tickles my ear. I can barely breath, let alone speak, so I just nod. Would I even be able to tell him no if I wanted to? My head is fuzzy and I can't think when he's this close.

He pulls up his pants legs and sits beside me. He removes his shoes, placing his feet in the water. I'm finally able to exhale the breath I've been holding. "How long have you been here?" I turn and glance at him, to find that he's staring at me. I don't know where this guy is from and I don't really care, but he's gorgeous. I never take an interest in a guy. It's one of my few rules to avoid falling into the never ending cycle of the love-struck patrons, but following rules have gotten me nowhere, obviously. I'm not thinking clearly anyway, I guess I can break my rule and enjoy his company for a while. He is fun to look at; especially those lips. He is leaving soon anyway and right now I need a distraction from all this bad news.

He reaches out slowly; as if he's afraid I'll run away, placing his hand over my cheek. He begins rubbing his thumb underneath my eye, freeing it from the wetness of the tears. I fall into his touch like a cat being petted. Great, I have no idea what I look like right now. "I needed to clear my head and came to the beach. I saw you standing by the water earlier and didn't want to leave you out here alone. Are you okay?"

My eyes close at the warmth from his hand. I should be mad he followed me, but I'm not. I just want him near me. His voice soothes me, but no personal questions are allowed. I don't need him to know me or what makes me tick. I don't need any complications.  I open my eyes to him staring at my lips. "Can we just exist together without trying to obtain personal quota? Let's just enjoy casual company, two people needing nothing from each other. Clearly you're not from here, meaning you'll be gone soon. I'm not one of those girls that needs or wants to know everything about you nor do I want to spill my entire life to you. We don't have to pretend with each other, let’s call this what it is; a moment to avoid the inevitability of being alone. Can you do that?"