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Dave squeezed the top of my arm, very gently. “Lily, what’s up? You’re a bit tense. You seemed happier when we were out to dinner.” He smiled a little crooked grin. “Maybe I need to take you out again.” His hand on my arm felt possessive and controlling. Fuck needing to pay bills. I moved away from his hand, pretending to turn to see something.

“I’m fine, Dave. Been busy, that’s all, very busy, collecting some very interesting stories for the article. Or the book. Or whatever it is. Trevor’s been super helpful.”

The crease in the middle of his high forehead returned. He was thinking of which tack to take with me, that much was obvious. He wanted to know what I knew. That wasn’t going to happen though. I carried on talking.

“I spoke to Poppy, that was illuminating. The early days. Got some good stuff there.” I paused. “Tristan’s been great as well. Really kind.”

The frown deepened. “Yes, I heard about the hotel.” He lowered his voice, so we couldn’t be overheard. “Did you really think you’d keep it a secret? I’m going to assume you’re having a moment of curiosity, but that you know what side the bread is buttered on.” His eyes were serious. “I need you to finish the article. We do have a contract.” He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger, and looked down at me again. “I thought we had more. Maybe I was wrong.” I opened my mouth to say something, and he placed a finger over it. “Don’t make excuses. I don’t really mind your wild side. I know what you’re like. And fundamentally, you’re like me. You want security. You like clean and comfortable. I’ll wait.”

His words made me feel like I was a kid being told off for playing in the mud. I was annoyed, but a part of me worried that he was right. Was he? Was this just a blip? Jesus, what was wrong with me? I wanted to change the subject. “What were you and Paul talking about, by the way? And where is he? Where’s Tristan?”

Dave smiled, and I saw immediately I’d given him just the opening he was waiting for. “Tristan’s upstairs already.” I jerked, involuntarily, like I’d been stung. Dave put his hand out again, to stop me moving off. “He and Paul and AC are talking about a reunion. They just need a little time alone, then we’ll all go up and join them.”

“You knew this all along. That’s why the article, that’s why the book, the film—whatever it was supposed to be.”

“Of course I knew.” He hesitated. “I can’t make them decide in that direction, but I can help move it along.” He looked at me. “I flew out Paul and Alixe last night.”

“Then you don’t know…” I blurted it out before I could stop myself.

Dave looked amused at my blunder. “Know what, Lily? All the rumors? Sure. I started a few of them myself, so yes. Of course. Do I know the truth of what went on? Not really. Or perhaps I do.” He lowered his voice again. “We’re in the business, Lily, of selling jealousy. If a little of it spills over on to us,” he shrugged, “we’re adults. We move on. I can’t stop people self-destructing if that’s how they’re made. Sad, shame, loss, boo hoo.” I glared at him. “Oh Lily, come on. You’ve met enough of the idiots in this game to know what I mean. Someone gives them the key to the candy store, and no one ever taught them how to say no. So they burn out. Now, our boys, they might have a second shot at glory.”

“With you sweeping up some of the rewards right behind them.”

“Yes, of course. You liked our dinner. You like the luxe. I hear you’re staying at the Hempel. Lovely place. Silk costs, though, right?” He threw his arm around my shoulder. “Now let’s go get a rock and roll beer, and enjoy ourselves. That’s why we’re here, correct?”

I walked a few paces with him towards the table, then delicately removed his arm from my shoulder. It really wouldn’t do for him to be displaying possession, certainly not of me. “Look Dave, I have a couple of friends here I need to touch base with. And Poppy.” I’d just seen her, standing off by the door, looking a bit lost. “I promised her I’d check in if she turned up.”

“Don’t go upstairs.” He threw it over his shoulder, casually, like it meant nothing, but the timbre of his voice changed completely. Menacing, quietly, like a dog rumbling at you before it jumped. It was an order, clear and simple. He was drawing a line in the sand. It would change everything if I crossed it. And I knew that. But if I was going to play spy, I wasn’t going to do it so openly. And, oddly, part of me was relieved that at least Tristan wasn’t alone with the ex. I didn’t like it though.

I kept my voice light. I laughed. “Don’t you trust me, Dave? Good relationships are built on trust. I’ll come get that beer in a minute. Save me one.”

He turned briefly, examined me, gave me a thumbs up, and continued to the table, where he was quickly accosted by one of the other record company people who was there. I turned away, and looked for Trevor. I needed to talk to him. I didn’t really want Dave to see me, but it couldn’t be helped. Wait. There was Sarah. And Nick. I could enlist them. I walked up behind Nick and threw my arms around his waist and squeezed. He yelped.

“What the fuck!” He wiped the beer away from his mouth as I laughed. “Lily? Crazy woman. You startled me.” He turned around and gave me a hug. “Where’s your boyfriend?” he said, eyeing the room.

I shushed him. “Nick, you’re the only man for me. Sorry Sarah. You know how much I love you, but Nick’s tighty whities fill me with lust.”

She laughed. “I knew it. But he is irresistible.” She bounced up to him on her toes, and kissed his cheek.

“Did you guys enjoy the show?” I tried to stay calm, while keeping an eye on Trevor. I didn’t want him disappearing again.

“Oh, Lil, it was fantastic. I love Tristan. But when the old guitarist from Devised came on, I thought I was going to die! Even Nick here was shouting.” She poked his belly button, and he caught her hand, rubbing it with his own over his stomach, which would start pushing out from his t-shirt soon enough.

“Nick, you old rocker. I thought you were done with the hi-jinks of youth.” I swatted his arm. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Trevor ending his conversation. Now. “Guys, how would you like to meet Trevor Sears? From Working Class Records?”

Sarah squealed again. “Oh, Lil, you mean it? Come on!” She pulled my hand, even though she didn’t know where to go.

I pulled back. “This way. Yeah, I mean it.” I dragged her along, skipping in her heels and white low-cut dress with a pattern of big tea roses. She looked like something out of a Southern plantation, with her full breasts dipping out of the top and her dark hair. Like a doll. “Come on.” Nick followed along behind, dutifully, taking pulls of his beer.

I intercepted Trevor as he was about to head in the direction of the drinks table. He was near a darkened corner, so I led Sarah towards it. “Trevor, I’d like you to meet some old friends of mine here. This is Sarah.” Trevor smiled at her, then his eyes fell to her breasts, and he smiled some more. Like someone had just laid the table for supper. “And this is Nick, her fiancé.” Trevor gave him a quick cold smile, and nodded, as though he’d just signaled for the hangman. Nick stepped back, involuntarily. I spotted his reaction and felt oddly pleased. Payback’s a bitch, honey.

Trevor turned to Sarah. “My lovely, where have you been hiding in London? You must come and see the record company sometime. You like music, of course you do, you wouldn’t be here otherwise.” Nick was giving me dirty looks. I ignored him. It wasn’t my fault if the rock business attracted guys with testosterone.

“Trevor,” I interrupted, trying to make it seem like I was saying nothing terribly exciting. “Did you know that Tristan was upstairs with Paul and AC? That they were discussing a possible reunion? That Dave flew out Paul and Alixe last night to assist?” I tried to keep my voice down and make it look like we were just doing introductions, just in case Dave was watching. Trevor shook his head. I tried to control my voice. “What are we going to do?”

“I will investigate. And you and Tristan are meeting me for lunch, yes? One p.m. The usual Japanese place. Tristan will know.” I must have looked at him doubtfully. I still wasn’t sure if I was going to be sleeping alone tonight. “Kinwa. Soho. The driver will know it.”

“I’ll be there.”

“Don’t worry, darling. Things will work out.” He gave me a hawkish smile, then took one of Sarah’s hands in both of his. I was forcefully reminded of all the vampire movies where the virgin suddenly realizes that the party was going to have a bloody ending, in both ways, top and bottom. Sarah had paled slightly, but she had a game face on. He was still admiring her breasts, and she couldn’t resist that. “Come, my dear.” He called out to the room. “This charming lady and her friends are gasping for champagne. Which, apparently, is only to be found upstairs! We are horrified, and intend to remedy the situation immediately.” His mouth widened into a terrifying, toothy smile. “Who’s in?” A little cheer went up from the group. Trevor headed to the door, Nick following closely behind, with me bringing up the rear, immediately followed by the rest of the group, following Trevor like some kind of Pied Piper of alcohol. I glanced over in Dave’s direction, obliquely. He was furious. But I would swear that all I had done was introduce my friends, which was true. He probably didn’t think I’d reveal anything in front of them. I’d certainly never admit it.

We all filed through the door, and in to the club, which was now empty. As we walked through, the door to the ladies’ burst open, and two blonde girls tumbled out, drunk, pink-faced and very excited, wearing some of the shortest skirts I had ever seen. One of them went up to Nick, as he was alone. “Darling, we just want to party. We’ll be good. Really good.” His face was a study. I laughed.

Trevor looked over his shoulder, seeing his opportunity to keep Sarah for himself. “Of course you may stay, young ladies.” They squealed. “I’m sure we have some entertainment somewhere for you, isn’t that right, Nick is it? Yes, Nick here will escort you upstairs. Tell him all your problems. He’s very understanding.” Nick looked bemused, but the first girl had already clung on to his arm, her hip nearly up to his waist and her breasts pouring out of her light blue crinkled spandex top. His eyes widened, and he swallowed. I saw him shift his hips slightly. Adjusting already. Maybe there wouldn’t be a wedding, after all.

Chapter 22

Trevor led us up the stairs, obviously knowing exactly where he was going. Of course, the trick was, we didn’t know what we would find. I knew he was as curious as I was, although probably not as anxious. Would Tristan be wrapped around the ex? Snorting coke off a newly signed contract, Paul looking on? I felt vaguely irritated again at all of it, the intrigue, the things I didn’t know, wasn’t a party to knowing. Tristan must have known about all this. And the idea that she was up there, and I wasn’t, enraged me on some level. My jealousy made the whole thing even more ridiculous. I watched Nick in front of me, completely overwhelmed by the attentions of the two girls, who still weren’t sure how important he was, and therefore how much of themselves they needed to give away. It was funny, really. He wasn’t saying anything about practicality and age now, was he?

We had reached the point where the staircase branched out left and right from a landing, and Trevor nimbly turned left and strode up the five last remaining steps. He disappeared briefly from view, and I could hear him cackle, sarcastically. I followed as quickly as I could, willing Nick to hurry up. Nick finally managed to get up there and was dragged over to a sofa by the girls, leaving me with a clear view of what had precipitated Trevor’s hollow laugh. There, on one of the red velvet sofas, was Tristan, flanked on either side by the ex and Paul, several lines of coke on a little tray on the ex’s lap. As I watched, he bent his head over her thighs and snorted up a couple of the lines, neatly, expertly. He inhaled, his finger just making sure there was nothing left on his nose, and as he looked up, he suddenly realized that they were no longer alone, as more and more of the party from downstairs filled the room, noisily clustering at the bar, the sound of glasses clinking and corks popping disturbing what must have been relative calm. Trevor put his hand out to stop me, as I was about to march forward and confront him. He must have felt my bristling anger, as his hand went from my shoulder, to my waist. “Not now,” he whispered.

I ignored him.

I walked up to the sofa, feeling slightly sick to my stomach. The three of them looked up at me. Tristan looked completely stoned. The ex looked me up and down and looked away. Paul had a questioning expression. I tried to keep it light.

“Hello Tristan,” I said, “Thanks for the invite. I told you I’d make it.”

His voice, which had been so strong on stage, seemed to come from a different place. “Lily. Good. Yeah. I’m glad.” He started to get up, then reconsidered. “Have you met Alixe? And Paul?”

I held out my hand to Paul first. “No.”

“Guys, this is Lily. She’s writing an article on us.”

Paul finally held his hand out. “Nice to meet you. Say good shit, ok?”

I nodded and turned to the ex. She just stared at me. I held out my hand, which she took by the fingertips, limply, then dropped her hand like she’d been injured. I looked back at Tristan. He looked strange, uncomfortable. Not the super human in-control rock god I’d just been watching an hour ago. I didn’t really know what to say anymore. And oddly, horribly, it looked like he didn’t either.