Acres, Natalie - Bang the Blower [Country Roads 3] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) (15 page)

He didn’t think twice about taking Hank’s deal, as much as he wanted to knock the hell out of Duke for making fun of him. More than anything, he wanted as far away from the Hinman ranch as possible. Columbia, Tennessee, was starting to wear on him. “I needed the money.”

“Try again,” Hank encouraged him.

Sam looked down at his boots. It wasn’t until right then that he came to terms with the real reasons why he’d been interested in the position. He’d wanted Annie’s approval. As much as he denied what he felt, even to himself, he cared what she thought. How twisted was that? Pretty fucked up.

“I may have been in love with her,” he finally admitted.

“Who?” Duke asked, making the confession more difficult.

Sam cleared his throat. “Okay, guys. This is hard for me. I love my wife. I do. But she isn’t anything to look at. You know. She’s got broad hips, big thighs, and doesn’t really know how to please a man in bed. At one time, she was a gorgeous thing but she let herself go. Ya know?

“Then I had this young girl paying me all sorts of attention. She was beautiful, sexy, and smart. Had a good business head on her shoulders. And good hell, I don’t have to tell you how Annie could please a man in the sack.”

“So you cheated on your wife, traded her in for a younger model, and then fell in love, right?” Hank didn’t let up.

“I reckon so.” A beat later, he said, “If I tell you the whole truth can I go? You’ll never have to worry about me again. Okay?”

“Why’d you kill Annie?” Hank asked, not giving him an answer either way.

“She told me she’d never love me. She told me she only slept with me to control me. Said she learned that part from the two of you. In her words, ‘give a man the best sex he’s ever had, and you’ll own him for the rest of his life,’ and she said she knew from experience. She said women felt the same way.”

“Annie was always warped,” Duke told him.

“But she didn’t deserve to die,” Hank pointed out.

“I guess you may be right,” Sam agreed. He pointed to the spot where he’d slit her throat. “She was standing right over there, propped up on the four-wheeler, her legs spread over the seat. She told me she came to watch me do it. She wanted to see me kill Julie.

“She said she knew Carl didn’t have the balls to do the job right. He couldn’t finish it. Then, she said, ‘Come here Sam, let me pump you off, and then you can go kill the girl and we’ll part ways.’

“I tried to make a play for her and she squinted her eyes, turned her head, and said, ‘I just don’t have the stomach for fucking you. The thought of you being inside me makes me sick to my very core and always has,’ and that was hard to take.”

“And you snapped, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” Sam admitted. “I always assumed she was using me, but I guess I thought somewhere deep inside, she loved me a little, too. I guess I should’ve asked.”

“Well here’s a little something for you to remember,” Hank began, motioning for someone behind him. “I’m ready to snap, too. That doesn’t mean I have a right to kill you. Even though it wouldn’t bother me in the least to put you out of your misery and save your wife and kids the embarrassment and shame of what’s coming your way next.”

Sam glanced over his shoulder and shrugged. “I guess you lied about keeping things between us.”

“I said things would stay between us. I didn’t elaborate on the us factor, or let you know Agent Dickerson and his men were already in the barn taking notes. You didn’t ask,” Hank said smugly.

Agent Dickerson and his men approached Sam with caution. Their guns were drawn, but he didn’t put up a fight. At one time, he would’ve fought his way out of something like this, but things were different now. Annie had been pregnant. She was pregnant with his child. And he snuffed out her life, and the life of his unborn child, like they didn’t matter.

Maybe he deserved what he had coming, too.

Before the authorities led him away, Duke stepped in front of him and said, “You know, Sam, what you did is inexcusable. Annie may have deserved death, but that wasn’t for you to decide. There’s more to being a man than fighting your way out of a mess. You talk things out. Make a decision that will allow all parties to reach a satisfying conclusion.

“I feel sorry for your wife. If I had to guess, you had a good woman at home, a woman who loved you, someone who probably would’ve set you right in the sack if you’d only taught her how to please you. Hank is right. You wanted a younger model. Now, you’re looking for reasons to justify what you did. Fact is, your actions just allowed your wife a second chance.”

“You’d better believe it,” Hank added his two cents. “And while you’re sitting in that jail cell, I want you to remember Annie’s words. You think about how she insulted you. Then, I want you to think of your wife and her imperfections. The things that made her ordinary to you may be greatly appreciated by someone else. Someone out there will find her extraordinary.

“No one is perfect. But when you promised to love, honor, and keep her, that didn’t mean until you found someone else. That meant forever.”

Sam didn’t respond. How could he? Hank Hinman was right. He’d failed as a man. He’d failed his wife and his children. He didn’t have an excuse, and the one provided was lame and shallow. Now, he had to live with the choices he’d made.

He had a feeling he’d face them from behind metal bars in a facility far away from the only woman who’d ever really loved him.

Chapter Fifteen

Julie was waiting at Frank’s bedside when he awoke. She placed the book on his nightstand and sat on the edge of his bed. “Hey, Frank. You gave us quite a scare.”

“I wasn’t worried for a minute.”

“Really?” she asked, thinking he sure fooled her.

“Maybe a little,” he said, showing her how much by way of indication with his thumb and forefinger pressed tightly together. “Seems I’m good as new now. I’ve had a nap and feel much better. When can I go home? Any word on that from the doc?”

“Probably not until day after tomorrow,” Hank answered for her, entering the hospital room. “And you’d best not give me any lip, or I’ll stick Julie back in a dragster car.”

“Humph,” he muttered. “You ain’t sticking that girl anywhere.”

Hank and Julie’s eyes met and held. Julie snickered, reading his mind.

“We’ll see about that, Frank,” Hank said.

“Where’s Duke?” Frank asked, letting the comment slide. Frank had a way of ignoring their plays on words.

“I think he wanted to stop by and see you a bit later. He said he has something to discuss with you, but he wants to do that in private.”

“I don’t know what he wants to go livin’ in the past for. Old news never impressed me much,” Frank said weakly. He shot Julie a wink and quickly added, “Unless of course the news has somethin’ to do with my little girl. Then it’s a different story. I can talk about her all day.”

“Frank, you’re a mess,” Julie said, placing her fingers against his arm.

Frank patted her hand, which was a rare occurrence. He seldom showed physical affection, and outside of hugging Julie when she’d been away for a while, he rarely touched her. “I love my little girl. I could listen to someone boast about your accomplishments until the cows come home.”

“I love you, too, Frank.”

“Good,” he said. “Cause me and you are about to have a talk, and this comes from the heart.” He stared at Hank and finally said, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but what I have to say is between us.”

Hank nodded. “You’ll come straight home after he gets finished with you?”

“I’ll be there,” she assured him, thinking it sure felt nice to hear him refer to his place as their home.

Quite awkwardly, Hank strolled across the room, shook Frank’s hand, kissed her cheek, and then left. “I’ll be seeing you in a couple of days, Frank.”

“If not before then!” Frank called after him.

Hank’s laughter filled the hallway. Frank watched her for a good bit before he finally said, “You’re still in love with him. And Duke, too, I imagine.”

She smiled.

“I reckon it’s just as well,” he said. “I never wanted you with Hank and Duke. I guess you knew I’d studied on the issue a time or two. Fact was, I always thought of Hank and Duke as my sons. They were always so tough actin’ that I didn’t mention it, and Lord knows if I’d called them my little boys, they would’ve probably beat the tarnation out of me. Anyhow, I reckon it’s gonna be how it’s meant to be. And I don’t fear the three of you splitting up down the road. That was always a concern.”

“I know, Frank.”

He took a deep breath, repositioned himself against a couple of pillows, and continued, “I just want ya happy, kiddo.”

“I know. I’m happy.”

“Not yet you aren’t, but you will be. I’ve heard tale of a fast car. I know where we can find one for ya.”

“I bet you do,” she said, snickering.

“Julie, you know I’d never try to get you killed. You know that in your heart, right?”

“Frank, of course. You’ve been like a father to me.” A beat later she added, “You are my father.”

He looked at her a long while, and right when she thought she might have said the wrong thing, he said, “I reckon you’re right about that. I could’ve searched this great big ole world over and never found a daughter that would’ve made me any prouder.”

“Frank, you loved my mother, right?”

“More than anything. I sure did.”

“Did she love you, too? I mean, do you think she might have at one time?”

“I like to think she sure did.”

“I like to think so, too, Frank,” she said, kissing his cheek and heading for the door.

“Little girl, chances in life only come around once sometimes. Way I see it, you’ve been given a second chance. You love them boys of mine like the dickens. If you don’t, time will pass you by, and one day you’ll be right here in this bed wondering where time went.

“I also hope you’ll get out there in that race car. Hinman Racing put a lot of effort in you and that team of theirs. I’d hate to see you let them down. More than anything else, I’d hate to see you let yourself down. That’s often the worst kind of disappointment.

“It’s tough livin’ in your own skin when you feel like you could’ve done things differently. You want to run but you can’t run far enough, because there’s always a mirror you gotta look in sometime.

“Worst of all, if you don’t like your own company, how in the world can you find better friends if you can’t make nice with yourself? Come to some kind of peace within your own skin. That’s the way I see things. You can let yourself down, but you still gotta look yourself in the eye and try to make sense of why you didn’t try.”

“I’ll think on it, Frank.”

“All right. That’s all I can ask for, then.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Hank said a couple of days.”

“You know Hank. He’ll be here tomorrow.”

“I reckon so,” Frank said, settling against the bed. “I reckon indeed he will.”

* * * *

“How come you didn’t tell her the truth about her mother?” Duke asked, entering his room almost as soon as Julie exited.

“How long you been standing there?” Frank asked, his eyes opening immediately.

“Long enough to know you lied and told her you didn’t know whether or not her mother loved you. She did, by the way. Her aunt once told me and Hank both. She loved you more than she ever loved Julie’s father. She took her own life after he died because she didn’t want Julie, and Julie was the only reminder of a man she never loved. The child she wanted with you she had with another man, and for some reason she couldn’t get past that.”

“Some things are better left unsaid.”

“Not that. You’re the only father Julie has ever known. Folks who knew Jake Jenkins said he never wanted a kid, and some believe the kid he never wanted was your child, anyway.”

“I wish that were true,” Frank said, bowing his head and studying his hands.

Duke pulled up a chair and sat next to his old friend. “Frank, you’ve always been there for Julie.” He cleared his throat and tried to find the right words. Finally, he just spoke from the heart. “I thought you might have turned on us.”

“I know,” Frank said, tears welling in his eyes. “I ain’t well enough to tell you what I think about that, so we’ll just say it happened and never speak of it again.”

Duke thought if the old man cried right there, he’d go ahead and sob right along with him. The enormous guilt he felt was incomparable to any he’d ever been burdened with carrying in the past. “Frank, I want you to know how sorry I am.”

“If it’s all the same to you, I’d prefer not to speak of it again, as I said. It’s water under the bridge. Me, you, and your brother…we’ve been through a lot of rocky tides together. Ain’t no reason for us to drown our friendship now.”

“But, Frank, I owe you an explanation.”

“Friends and family don’t owe one another explanations. They just say what they mean and mean what they say. You said you were sorry and I don’t want to speak another word about it. Ya hear?”

“I hear ya, Frank,” he said, patting the old man’s arm.