Across The Hall (15 page)

never would be again. I made sure I was touching at least some part of Beau the entire night. I even laughed at his lame jokes and acted like he

was the only person in the room. I barely paid attention to Kerri and Kai, even. I didn’t go dance with them like I normal y would have. I only went out

to dance when Beau went with me, which thankful y was only once.

When we al left for the night, I saw Quinn leave with Reed and Kerri. They were stil standing outside our apartment building as Beau and I came

up the walk. I said a quick goodnight to al of them and pul ed Beau up the steps behind me. I didn’t look back to see if Quinn was fol owing us but I

heard his door slam seconds after I closed mine.

The next day, Kerri told me that the tension between Beau and Quinn was too much and I needed to find a way to fix it. After that, I just tried to

avoid doing group activities with Beau along. He asked why we didn’t go out with them again, so I just invited Kai and Sloane over on a night I knew

Kerri would be busy. I actual y asked her, too, but I knew the answer I would get. That night didn’t go as wel as I’d hoped it would. Beau and Sloane

were both pretty quiet. Who could get a word in with Kai around most of the time anyway? She quizzed Beau the whole time they were there. I could

tel Beau was getting annoyed with her, so I faked a headache and told them I should just go to bed. I hadn’t attempted to join any of them again with

Beau.

Beau seemed to be fine with that. He was only in town for about eleven days during those first three weeks. I spent al of those with him at my

place. We went out alone a couple times, but he was fine with just staying in with me. I cooked and we watched movies or found other ways of

entertaining ourselves. He only stayed the night once, that second Friday. He left Saturday night saying he had to be gone again by Monday

morning. He cal ed or texted when he was on the road. Not every day, but often enough that I wasn’t concerned that he’d forgotten me.

Kai was making plans to go to Chicago on our next three-day weekend. After hearing that Quinn was going I declined, using work as an excuse. I

wasn’t about to go for three nights and the better part of three days with his constant presence. I didn’t think I could handle it and I knew Beau would

have gone bal istic if I’d told him I was doing that. Beau detested Quinn and he made no attempt to hide it. Quinn let it be known that the feeling was

mutual. I knew Quinn’s dislike was due to the bruises he’d jumped to conclusions about. I just couldn’t completely figure out Beau’s anger. He knew

about our past, but I tried very hard to show him that was al Quinn was to me -- the past.

Of course neither Kai nor Kerri believed me. Kerri cal ed me out on Beau not letting me go. I tried to explain his position on Quinn but Kerri wasn’t

hearing it. She said he was just a territorial pig and I shouldn’t let him make my decisions for me. I couldn’t get her to see that he just real y cared for

me and was worried about me being upset by Quinn. Kerri rol ed her eyes with a “whatever”. Kai begged me to change my mind. I held firm to my

answer, though. Also, I had hoped I would get the whole weekend alone with Beau.

Things had been going wel between the two of us. I’d learned more about him. He had had a rough life. It had only been him and his mom. He

said he had never known his dad. They moved around a lot. He figured he had been to over twenty schools in his life. He said he envied the stability

I had.

I told him how hard it had been to watch my mom suffer from breast cancer, about the emotional rol er coaster we lived on every time a new

treatment was presented. I talked about having to care for both my mom and dad through it al . He pointed out that that was why I was so good at

taking care of everyone. I asked him if he wanted to meet my dad, but he said he wasn’t good with parents and we should wait. I was hoping that by

Thanksgiving he would change his mind.

I stil hadn’t seen his place. He said my place was so much nicer and he wasn’t ever real y there anyway. I couldn’t help but wonder, if my place

was so much nicer, why he always left at night. I would have loved to spend the night in his arms, maybe wake up and have some morning fun. Beau

was stil rough when we had sex. I didn’t real y mind that. What I did mind was how fast it always seemed to be over. I was almost always left

wanting more as he would get up and go out on my balcony for a cigarette. I held firm on him not smoking in my apartment. I wanted to talk to Kerri

for advice on how to get him to slow down but I knew she didn’t like him. So I just bit my lip and kept hoping that eventual y it would get better.

On two separate nights I joined the group for a games night. We used to have them al the time. I was sure once we al got into the groove with our

schedules we would start having them frequently again. In the past, Jason had often joined us, so I would partner up with him. If he couldn’t come, we

would just play games that didn’t require partners. Without Jason available I figured that was what we would do again. Of course, Quinn ended up

being there. Kai started to suggest that we be partners but Sloane quickly spoke up and claimed me for a partner. I could have kissed him. He and

Kai shared a quick private conversation with just their eyes, and then Kai announced that it was time to start.

I expected the games nights to be worse than they were. Quinn and I interacted very little. We only spoke to each other if need be. If it continued

like that, everything would be fine. I could handle seeing him as long as he kept his thoughts to himself. I heard more about his family. I had been

dying of curiosity about them. I had always loved Marie and Alex. I missed them deeply. Losing Marie was like losing my mom al over again. It was

a relief to hear that they were doing fine. When he shared tales from Princeton, I excused myself to the bathroom. I just couldn’t stand to hear about

what should have been my life, too. I knew that if I had gone there, I never would have met my friends. Yet it stil stung to hear about it.

Kai and Reed showed up at my place one night wearing matching lime green bowling shirts. And just to make my life better, Kai bought one for

me too. I had no idea why I let them talk me into going bowling with them that night. I hated bowling. I was horrible at it, and more often than not

someone ended up injured when I bowled. I only went along out of sheer boredom. Beau had been gone for three days and I was caught up on my

class work. I’d figured Quinn would be along, but that didn’t bother me. We had gotten along wel enough at the games nights. So I let Kai dress me

in lime green that went so wel with my red hair. I slapped on a smile that was just as comfortable as the rented shoes.

Quinn did indeed go along, as I had expected. It seemed that he had solidified a place within our little group. I tried not to feel as if I had been

stabbed in the back. They were my friends first, and they knew my history with Quinn. I real y didn’t want to let it bother me that they were so easy to

forgive his previous treatment of me. Sometimes, though, when they al laughed at a joke Quinn made or asked for his input on something, I just

wanted to scream. That night was particularly bad. It may have been due to the fact that I was already on edge having to participate in something I

knew would only end embarrassment. Or maybe it was because Quinn was in such a good mood.

He showed up at the bowling al ey after the rest of us. He, too, wore a lime green shirt. Of course it looked just as sil y on him. I couldn’t keep my

eyes from his. They appeared to be lighter and had more sparkle to them. What pissed me off the most, though, was that damned crooked smile he

wore most of the night. It didn’t matter to him that he was bowling like shit. In fact, his score was only slightly higher than mine, which wasn’t saying

much at al . He joked about it and smiled. Every time I looked over at him he had that smile on his face. It did things to me that I didn’t ever want to

admit. It made my stomach tighten and tingles run through me. My breath would hitch and I would have to remind myself to breathe. I just wanted to

go over to him and wipe it off his face.
Yeah, with a kiss.

It would figure that my irrational inner voice would choose that night to pick a fight with my reasonable inner voice. I barely spoke to anyone the

whole night. I was afraid of which voice would come out at any given moment. The mental battle going on inside had my head aching. At times I

wanted to go sit next to Quinn just to feel the electricity that he emitted to me. Once I ‘accidental y’ brushed against him when I had to retrieve the

bal I dropped that had rol ed over to him. More than one time, I caught myself staring at his ass when it was his turn. At one point, he turned around

as I was lost in a memory of what it looked like naked. He caught my eye and that wicked grin appeared. I blushed furiously and tripped as I

excused myself to the bathroom to get my mind under control.

The whole night went like that. One side of me wanted nothing more than to slap him sil y for being so carefree and happy and turning my insides

to mush. The other side of me wanted to join with him and let myself be dazzled by that smile. I started naming the battles in my head. We had the

battle of ‘Asswatchington’ - which irrational won. Of course reasonable came back with ‘Beaustlak’. That was when I told Kai how I was anticipating

spending the next weekend with Beau while they al went to Chicago. Irrational won another with ‘Suck Quinnsvil e.’

‘Suck Quinnsvil e’ had been a particular eye opener for me. I had just bowled my fourth gutter bal in a row when Reed suggested, “Syl, you and

Quinn suck so bad that even if we combined you two together you would stil be in last place.” Al I heard was Quinn and suck, and my mind went off

to some long-forgotten happy place. I couldn’t believe that I would go there. I realized I had a goofy grin on my face when Reed started laughing and

crossed off our names on the board and wrote Quilvia with our combined score. Kerri smacked him on the back of the head but he refused to

change it. Irrational took another victory with ‘Quilvia.’ I momentarily liked the sound of it.

By the end of the second game, I’d had had enough. I was ready to go. Unfortunately, no one else was. I sat down with my head in my hands.

Sloane came over and sat down next to me. “Not feeling wel , Sylvia?”

“Not real y. I hate bowling.” I muttered between my fingers.

“Uh-huh. And you’re sure it isn’t anything more?” His tone suggested he knew more about the internal struggle raging through me than I wanted

him to know.

I peeked at him and squeaked, “No.”

“Suuurree it’s not.” He was smiled at me before he spoke up. “Sylvia’s not feeling wel . Maybe we should cal it a night so she can get home.”

“No way, man. We’re tied one apiece. We need to at least have a tie breaker.” Ever competitive, Reed had to open his big mouth.

Sloane jumped on the chal enge. “Why? You’d just lose. You should quit now before I finish you off.”

“Finish me off. Ha. That’s what....” Kerri hit him again. He rubbed his head. “Damn Kerri. Stop it.”

“I can take her.” Everyone stopped and gaped at Quinn. He looked around at each of us. “I mean, I’m terrible at this and I real y do have some

studying to do, so I could just take her home.” His voice got quieter and quieter as he finished, realizing that we were al stil gawking at him. I just

blinked and wondered what riding in such close proximity to him would do to reasonable voice.

Kai was the first to speak up. “That’s an excel ent idea. You don’t mind, do you Sylvia? I know the guys want to finish the game, and we al rode

together. So you should just let him take you home.” She was giving me her puppy eyes that she knew I could never turn down even if they were the

unnatural green to match her shirt.

I huffed and agreed. I said good night and headed to the parking lot. Quinn was stil inside, but I knew his black Camry. I waited beside it. Always

the gentleman, he came over and opened my door for me before he got in. I didn’t say anything the whole ride home. I couldn’t trust myself to. I sat

there, surrounded in his scent. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of it. I missed him. I knew I missed him, but I couldn’t give in to past

feelings. I knew on some level that it would be easy to, but easy didn’t make it right. Thankful y, it was a short ride. Quinn stil drove like a maniac,

and we were back in record time.

He didn’t turn the car off right away. I turned toward him. He was looking out the window straight ahead. I quickly looked for what he was looking

at. Part of me feared that it was Beau. Fortunately, there was nobody there.

I sighed and said, “Thank you for the ride.” I got out of the car quickly and Quinn was stil sitting there. I gave the Camry one more glance when I

reached the door. He was stil sitting there; his head was down against the steering wheel. My heart gave a little tug and I briefly wondered if he had

the same battles being fought in his mind as wel . I was tempted to go back and talk to him, but my phone rang.

“Hi beautiful. What are you up to tonight?” I walked into my apartment as I relayed most of my day to Beau, leaving out bowling completely.

I had my books spread out in front of me. I had a pharmacology test coming up on Thursday and I couldn’t concentrate on anything. It had been

four nights since I had gone bowling with everyone. I didn’t real y want to go. I hated bowling. I never could get the hang of it. I even had trouble Wii