Acting Out (13 page)

Jessica’s heart was pounding wildly and fear licked along
her nerve endings like wildfire. The thought of him being stalked and killed
made her frantic with worry, but she knew Mahoney was right. There was no way
that Korian would give up the conference when his world was in potential danger
from another attack. Grabbing her friend’s arm, she insisted, “You have to
protect him, Mahoney. I’m sure that the other warriors are just as capable and
deadly with a sword as you are, but they are not
you
. You and Mikael
will guard him, won’t you? I can’t have a baby with no daddy, especially not
one that will inherit the throne to an entire planet! Promise me, Mahoney.”

The female warrior’s face was grim, but she nodded sharply.
“You have my word, Jess. We won’t let anything happen to him. The whole
compound will be swarming with warriors, and we’ll all be on the look-out and
trailing the contingent from Mamaxon every step of the way. Don’t you worry,
little mama. Auntie Mahoney is on the case.”

Jessica laughed even as a tear slipped down her cheek, and
she leaned forward to throw her arms around her friend’s neck. The
bimbop
growled
a complaint between them, but kept her claws and fangs to herself while the two
women embraced tightly. Finally, when Jessica sensed that her friend had
reached her limit, she pulled back from the hug and darted in to land a quick
kiss to her cheek.

“What was that for, you little weirdo?” her crotchety friend
griped while rubbing her cheek.

Jessica beamed at her through her tears and announced, “Just
because I love you, bestie. There’s no one in the universe that compares to
you.”

A faint pink stained the Asian beauty’s cheeks as she rolled
her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, save the mushy stuff for your baby daddy.” Standing to
her feet, she held her hand out to her friend and helped leverage her to her
feet. “Now, I say we make like Christmas morning and see what Korian Claus sent
his good little girl.”

The following day found Jessica nervously smoothing
non-existent wrinkles out of a new dark purple dress that Korian had sent in
one of the many boxes and bags to Mahoney’s home. She had spent at least an
hour preparing herself for the coming meeting with the king, fussing over her
hair, replicating makeup, and ensuring she looked her very best. Nervously, she
adjusted the strap on the lavender sling where her pet was snoozing cozily. The
fiercely loyal
bimbop
had refused to leave her side for the last week,
and would howl and cry anytime Jessica closed her up in her crate or tried to
leave the room without her. Jessica tried to be annoyed, but she couldn’t deny
that it comforted her to have the mini panda cub with the long, black and white
ringed tail curled up against her and sharing its warmth. The creature appeased
the part of her that longed for affection, giving and receiving, that had been
lacking in her life, and it pleased her to know that the animal would pass on
its care and loyalty to her child.

She still hadn’t quite come to grips with the fact of her
pregnancy. The previous evening, as she lay in bed, she had placed her open
palm across her still-flat abdomen and marveled at the thought of the new life
growing inside of her. She thought she could already feel the difference in her
body. She tried to imagine how she would look with her belly swollen and
distended like Enahara’s, and wondered if Korian would still desire her when
she looked like she was smuggling a basketball under her shirt. This led to her
imagination running wild as it conjured images of the bronzed warrior cradling
her from behind as he thrust deep inside her body until they were both
breathless and satiated. Her body still burned for his touch, and she longed to
go back to the nights they had shared when they had devoured each other
followed by long hours of snuggling, laughing, and talking until they fell
asleep in each other’s arms. The thought of him kissing her rounded belly,
whispering to the unborn babe, and then holding their child in his arms made
tears leak from her eyes with a combination of longing and hopelessness.

The irony of the situation made her absolutely miserable.
She hadn’t realized how much she had come to care for Korian until he broke her
heart. Every time she flashed back to the cold contempt that had shown on his
face, she lost her breath and her chest squeezed. It had absolutely destroyed
her that he would believe that she could have played him for a fool and the
fact that he hadn’t even allowed her to explain was proof enough that his
feelings were not on par with hers. It took that crushing blow, him discarding
her like so much trash, to make her realize that she had fallen in love with
the young king somewhere along the way. But none of that mattered to her
anymore. She could never be with someone who didn’t trust her, someone who
allowed his petty jealousies and insecurities to cause him to lash out at her
any time he didn’t like what he saw or heard. She would not live that way. She
deserved so much more than that from the man she loved.

The chime on Mahoney’s transmission server announced the
arrival of the king, and Jessica blew out a shaky breath as she gave the
command to allow her visitor. When she had agreed to meet with Korian, she had
stipulated that he would have to come to her. She didn’t quite trust herself to
be alone with him in his rooms for fear that she would be too weak to resist
him if he touched her. Even though they would be alone in the captain’s
apartment for their conversation, she felt braver knowing that the king
wouldn’t be on his home turf.

Taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, Jessica
reached out to place her palm on the sensor to open the panels. Her knees
almost gave way at the sight of Korian filling the doorway with his massive
shoulders, trim waist, and piercing lavender eyes. His hair was roguishly long
and swept away from the harsh planes of his face, and his skin shimmered from
exposure to the heat of the twin suns. Jessica felt her body soften and her sex
swell in response to his nearness and it was all she could do not to launch
herself at him and wrap her legs around his waist.

Instead, she took a measured step back and gestured him
inside. The king wiped his palms along his pants and spoke. “Thank you for
agreeing to meet with me, Jessica. I have much to say, and it would be best to
say it personally.”

The devil on her shoulder poked her with his pitchfork and
she replied caustically, “Of course. I would never deny you the opportunity to
explain yourself.”

He flinched as her barb struck home. “I deserved that, and
so much more.” He watched her closely as she sat in a chair and situated her
skirt. “You are looking exceptionally lovely, my
thalia
. It relieves me
to see you in good health. I trust Officer Ax’Sandre was able to care for you
properly?”

She couldn’t tell if he was hinting at whether or not she
was pregnant, but she decided to leave that subject alone for the time. Right
now, this was about them. “Yes, thank you. She was wonderful to help me feel
more like myself again.”

He paused before replying as if waiting for her to say more,
but she stubbornly kept her mouth shut. Finally, he cleared his throat and
continued, “I am very glad to hear it. I was most concerned when Lt. Cmdr.
Mahoney told me you were feeling poorly, and I take full responsibility for
that.” She nodded politely, and he continued, “I owe you many apologies,
Jessica. I will not downplay the grievousness of my actions by providing
excuses or explanations, for they do not matter when weighed in the balance of
the pain I caused you. I was arrogant, stubborn, jealous, and incredibly
callous in regards to your feelings, and there is no excuse adequate for the
harm I caused you. Just know that I am so very sorry and I wish that I could go
back in time and undo the damage I caused.”

Jessica’s heart melted at his sincere words, but the echo of
her shame refused to allow her to back down so easily. “Korian, I don’t blame
you for being angry or hurt when you received your report. Believe me, if I had
been in your shoes, I would have been hopping mad to think that you had been
sleeping with another woman. The problem was that you refused to hear my side
of the story and didn’t even give me the opportunity to defend myself. You had
already made up your mind about me, and that hurt me more than anything. I
thought we had developed an understanding, some kind of emotional connection
during our time together, and the fact that you discarded me so easily made me
feel like the biggest idiot on your world.” She paused to sigh deeply and
almost retracted her words at the look of defeat and loss etched across the
handsome planes of his face. “I do forgive you, Korian. It’s just that I’m not
going to be able to forget it any time soon.”

Korian dropped to his knees in front of her and picked her
hands up in his own. His gaze sought hers and he pinned her to the spot with
his icy lavender eyes. “As your Mahoney so eloquently put it, I fucked up big
time. I have never felt like this before with any other woman, and it frightened
me. Place me in a room full of nobles or on the battlefield with a sword, and I
am confident, eager, and in control of myself and my surroundings, but all that
changed when I met you. At first, it was your physical beauty that captured me,
but then I got to know you as a person. You are funny and kind, affectionate and
friendly, yet your temper flares as brightly as the noonday suns. Instead of
treating you like the warrior and man that I am, I reacted like a youngling
fresh from the school room and drove you away. You dazzle me, Jessica, and I
will grieve all my days if I have wrecked my opportunity to ask you to be my
lifemate.”

Jessica felt her nose swell and tickle with the stupid tears
that were never far from the surface lately and she blinked rapidly to keep
them from falling. Unable to resist any longer, she reached out her hand to cup
his cheek and he leaned into her touch and closed his eyes. She wanted to fall
to her knees with him and become lost in his arms, but there was so much more
at stake now. She was no longer making decisions for just herself anymore, and
she owed it to her child to ensure that they both had the best possible future.

“I’m not going to say that there’s no chance for us, because
I would be lying if I said I no longer cared for you. I’m also not going to
just fall back into your bed, either. I know that this was an unusual situation
for both of us, but we started our relationship ass-backwards. If you’re
willing to start over fresh with me, then I would like to begin a friendship
with you and see where it leads us. We can spend time together, as your
schedule allows, but I’ll be staying with Mahoney and Mikael for the
foreseeable future. There’s a catch, though,” she cautioned him.

His eyes were shining with hope and a beatific smile
wreathed his face. “Anything, my
thalia
. This is more than I even hoped
for, and I will do whatever it takes to earn your trust again.”

She smiled softly and finally allowed a spark of optimism to
bloom in her heart, but tempered it with caution. “First, I won’t have sex with
you again until we
both
decide if we’ll move our relationship forward
into a permanent commitment. Second, you need to understand that I will do my
best to never lie to you. I may have been an actress on my world, but my word
means everything to me, and that means that you have to decide if you can trust
me or not. If I say that I am just friends with someone, like Zandar, then I
expect you to believe that and act accordingly. The caveman jealousy thing is
awesome during sex, but outside the bedroom? Not so much. We can’t have secrets
from each other, Korian. If we don’t trust each other, then there’s no reason
to try again.”

Korian stood to his feet gracefully and gently pulled her to
her feet and into his arms for a long, careful embrace. He kissed the crown of
her head and murmured, “You are more than I deserve, and I will do anything to show
you that I am worthy of being your lifemate. I know we only have little more
than a week’s worth of sun cycles left together, but I will prove to you that
your faith in me is not displaced.”

Jessica laughed, her heart as light as a balloon drifting on
the breeze, and squeezed him tight around the waist, careful to not squish her
sleeping pet between them. “Oh, I’d say we have a lot more time than that. It
doesn’t look like I’m going back to Earth, after all. For better or for worse,
T’Kala is my home now. This is where my family will be, so that’s where I will
be, too.”

He pulled back and grasped her by the shoulders. His eyes
were wide with a combination of joy and panic. “What is your meaning, Jessica?”

Taking his big palm in her hand, she placed it over the soft
swell of her abdomen. “I’m saying, Korian, that we are having a baby. If he or
she can’t leave the planet, then that means I can’t, either. I will never
abandon my child for anyone or anything.”

His knees buckled before he caught himself, and his eyes
sparkled suspiciously. “Truly, my
thalia
?” When she nodded happily, he
pulled her into his chest again and breathed against her hair, “I have been
blessed by the stars beyond all measure. I know that you said we may not share
our bodies as of yet, but I need to feel your lips against mine just once more.
Will you allow it?”

Jessica pulled back to twine her arms around his neck. “Try
to stop me,” she replied as she pulled his head down to meet hers.

This kiss was different than all others that had come before
it. There was still the lingering ghost of passion, but it was infinitely
sweeter, achingly tender, and full of the promise of so much more to come.
Jessica burned to take the kiss deeper, but she was grateful that Korian
respected her limits and kept it chaste, even if he did linger until their
breaths traded spaces between them.

Finally, he pulled back until their eyes could meet again.
His face sobered, and Jessica’s heart lurched with anxiety at what he might
say. “I accept your conditions, Jessica, but you must understand that I will
have one of my own now, and it is not negotiable. You were already precious to
me before, but now that you carry our child, your safety is my first priority. I
have to insist that should you go anywhere outside these walls that you be
accompanied by at least one warrior, if not more. Should Mikael, Mahoney, or I
not be available, I would ask that you allow me to assign one to you. I have
much to do in the coming week to prepare for the arrival of the Council, and
knowing that you are protected will allow me to focus my efforts on ensuring
the future of our people. I do not wish to send spies to watch over you behind
your back any longer, and the only way to prevent such a thing is securing your
cooperation. Do you agree, Jessica?”

Jessica blew out a sigh of relief. “It would be stupid of me
not to agree to that, Korian. I won’t be playing fast and loose with my safety
anymore. I’ve got the future king or queen of T’Kala growing inside me, and
that’s a responsibility I don’t take lightly.” She paused to shoot him a coy,
teasing glance. “Are you sure you trust your warriors to be around me, though?”

Korian’s eyes glittered with an unnamed emotion, but a half
smile quirked his lips. “You mean
our
warriors, Jessica. And the answer
is yes, but even more importantly, I trust
you
to be with them. My days
of acting like a spoiled youngling are over. Let me prove it to you.”