Adam (26 page)

Adam thought back to being a kid and how you would ask someone, “Do you want to play?” It had been the most normal question in the world, and then at some point, he couldn't remember when, it was something you would never dare say. It became, “Do you want to hang out?” But it wasn't just a change of words. It was an actual change of activity. Adam used to get so excited he would shake just thinking about going to Brad's house and playing Knights and Swords—this elaborate imaginary game they'd invented that used Brad's entire house and backyard as a playing field. But then at some point it became “hang out.” And that's what they would do. Hang out and watch TV. Hang out and play video games. Their bodies hanging over various pieces of furniture.

Adam saw Gillian watching him and the girl. He couldn't read Gillian's expression, though. Which is why he loved her. Because sometimes, usually, he had no idea what she was thinking.

“Thanks for asking,” he said to the girl (
god, that sounded obnoxious—what was he supposed to say?
), “but I'm here with my girlfriend.”

Gillian was definitely not his girlfriend, but Adam was feeling bold and cocky. This girl thought he was cute, thought he was sexy, and Gillian was watching, waiting for him. He was an object of desire.

“OK, cool,” said the girl. “I mean if she wanted to join in . . . I'm sure she's really hot to be with you . . .”

Adam glanced at Gillian. He imagined kissing the two of them, two pairs of tits mashed against each other, Gillian's tongue in Dog Collar's mouth. His dick, which had been utterly unmoved by the Blowjob Contest, began pressing up against his jeans. He couldn't risk it. What if this girl just suddenly shoved her hand down his pants—
god, that would feel amazing
—but it was too risky. He needed to stay in control. He imagined his lie as a delicate caterpillar crawling between his cupped hands—any quick movement could crush it.

“Maybe next time,” he said. And he walked back over to Gillian.

“Who was that?” she asked.

“Just some girl,” he said. “She wanted to play, but I told her no.” God, he was starting to sound like Brad.

“What?!” said Gillian, with a huge grin. She tried to get another look at the girl and linked her arm into Adam's. “You're my Rölf.”

They headed back to the group. Jackie and Nadia were planning “the scene” they were supposed to perform for everyone as part of being winners. Nadia wanted Jackie to chase her around the castle, push over the cross, and then fuck Nadia on top of it with Nadia's own high-heeled shoe.

“It could also be kind of sexy if we just slipped out now and everyone wondered where we went,” said Jackie.

“Balderdash and Settlers of Catan,” said Nadia, apparently reminding Jackie of something.

“I guess we have to stay for their scene,” said Gillian to Adam. “Then we can go. I really wanna get you home.”

Adam's heart seized.

Jackie and Nadia's scene began with an announcement from Bodice Whistleblower. Everyone crowded around to watch. Jackie, as instructed, started chasing Nadia in and out of the castle. It looked like Jackie was dissociating in order to get through it.
The things one does for a beautiful girl
, thought Adam. Jackie probably thought she could never do better than Nadia. Looks-wise, she probably couldn't.

Hazel, still pouting over having lost the Blowjob Contest, watched the scene with arms folded and a judgmental look on her face. Her expression quickly changed, however, when Nadia grabbed Hazel's arm and pulled her into the center with her and Jackie.

“Double team!”
Nadia screamed. Hazel flew into action, picking a stray whip off the ground and cracking it in the air while fist-bumping a bewildered Jackie.

Adam looked around for Casey and spotted her against the wall in the back, slumped over, still clearly wasted, her roving eyes tracking Hazel. He hoped Boy Casey would get here already.

And then in walked June. Blubbery, bull-nose-ringed June, wearing her baggy
I'LL GO DOWN ON YOUR SISTER
T-shirt. She looked around, nervously fingering one of the flyers that had been on the front table that everybody else had ignored.

What the fuck was she doing here?

Hazel and Jackie were pretending to kidnap and gag Nadia. Casey, spotting June, brightened and walked toward her. It was June she had called on the phone. Positioning himself behind Gillian, Adam stared as Casey threw her arms around June's neck and gave her a giant open-mouthed, drunk-as-fuck kiss. From the look of surprise on June's face, he knew it was the first. Casey backed off, and June stood there, glowing, with a cartoonishly goofy smile that stretched beyond the limits of her face. June took Casey's hands and leaned in to try to kiss her again, but instead Casey dragged June in the direction of the packed circle. She pushed through the three-deep crowd, right into the center where Jackie and Hazel were taking turns whipping Nadia's ass.

“Excuse me,” said Nadia, uprighting herself and looking at Casey and June, “we're in the middle of a—”

“Rip my clothes off and fuck me,” Casey said to June, ignoring Nadia. And June, with all the passion and pent-up desire that Hazel and Jackie couldn't even dream of attempting to emulate, threw herself on Casey, tearing at Casey's tank top and yanking down her skirt.

The crowd exploded.

“Let me get in there,” said Hazel, swaggering forward.

But Casey stood up, looked Hazel in the eyes, and spat in her face. “Fuck off,” she said.

The crowd was roaring; Bodice Whistleblower was going crazy on the whistle.

Adam knew he needed to get out of there now. Not only was he not about to watch his sister get naked and fucked (
those days have passed
), but he realized he could not have Gillian get a good look at Casey in the chance she ever saw a picture of her or met her in the future. It could already be too late, but he had to act now.

“This is boring,” he whispered in Gillian's ear. “Let's just sneak out.”

“Really?” said Gillian. She looked reluctant.

“Yeah, I wanna get you home,” he said.
Who was he?

Adam grabbed Gillian's hand and pulled her back to the treasure chest to trade out his clothes. He threw everything out of the chest, but while he found his shoes and socks, Ethan's shirt was gone.

“Fuck. My shirt,” he said.

“You can't find it?” said Gillian.

“It was Patrik Ervell for Opening Ceremony.”

“We could ask up front—they could make an announcement?”

“Fuck, should I just steal this vest?” said Adam.

“Just go shirtless; you're a guy,” said Gillian.

“No . . .” said Adam.

“Right,” said Gillian, quickly nodding. “Let's just go. Steal it!”

Adam tore off the face mask—
oh, sweet air!
—shoved on his shoes, and ran with Gillian through the main room toward the entrance, catching a glimpse of June hand-fucking Casey sprawled out on the cross.
Not very Jewish of her
, he thought.

They burst through the black curtains, into the front room, where the woman behind the foldout table stood up, saying, “Excuse me, I think that's one of ours, there's the ‘B' for Bound, painted on—”

“‘B' for ‘Blow me!'” shouted Adam, and he and Gillian ran through the doors and into the night, pounding down the sidewalk, hand in hand, as fast as they could, careening around the corner, Adam's lungs burning, Gillian laughing, till they were finally far enough, and they stumbled, panting, and Adam took Gillian in his arms and kissed her in the middle of the sparkling city.

***

Back at Gillian's apartment, Adam's heart had begun a quiet, consistent thumping. He was entering the unknown.

“Want another beer?” said Gillian, though they were still drunk from dinner. Adam thought back to Gillian offering him a beer when he'd first come to her apartment at the beginning of the evening. It was incomprehensible that it was the same day. He remembered how alive all the objects in the room had seemed. Now, in the shadows, they had gone to sleep.

Gillian came back with the beers, and they sat on her bed, sipping them, looking at each other with nervous smiles. Gillian was so beautiful. Adam wanted to lean in and start kissing her, but in the dark, silent room, he felt shy and hesitant. His eyes wandered to the framed photos on her bedside table. He picked one up. It was a prom photo—Gillian and another girl. It didn't quite look like Gillian though. Her hair was short and brown, and she was wearing a tux. She stood behind the other girl with her arms wrapped around her in classic prom pose. An eerie déjà vu feeling came over Adam. Like he swore he'd seen this photo before.

“This is really weird . . . but I feel like—”

Gillian snorted and took a slug of beer. “No, you're not crazy. You've probably seen it.”

“What? Why?”

Gillian took the photo, stared at it for a moment, then placed it back on the table. “It was, like, in every newspaper in the country four years ago. There was an AP article.”

“A what?”

Gillian inched in closer to Adam. Their legs were touching now. She lightly kicked at his foot.

“I grew up in this really small town in Oklahoma. And my girlfriend and I were, like, the only gay people. We got harassed a bunch, but it wasn't a huge deal until we tried to buy tickets for the prom and the administration told us we weren't allowed to go as a couple. It was completely fucked up. My parents were always really supportive though, and they got the ACLU involved, and there was like this whole public case against the school for discrimination. I was even on TV a couple times. I'm basically famous for being gay. I still get letters from teens saying like, ‘You make me feel OK for being who I am. Thank you for literally saving my life.' It's pretty intense.”

Adam realized where he'd seen the photo before. It had been cut out and taped, surrounded by various female celebrities, to Casey's bedroom wall.

“That's . . . weird,” said Adam, smiling at Gillian, unsure how to react.

“Well, it
is
a little weird for me now,” she said, kicking at his foot again. “I mean, dating you . . .”

“It is?”

“Well,
yeah
,” she said, giving him a
duh
look. “But I just, I really like you. I think you're so sexy . . .”

Adam looked down at his beer and blushed.

“And I like that you're shy,” she continued, “but then when you do say something, it's like the best thing ever. Like, you're totally weird—but not in that obnoxious way that ‘weird' people are, where they're always trying to show off how ‘wacky' they are. Your weirdness is like a hidden jewel.”

Gillian leaned in and started kissing him. Her lips made Adam's body shiver with electricity. They fell back onto the bed. Gillian started to roll on top of Adam, but he knew if she did she would feel his dick, rock-hard in his pants. He pushed her over so that he was on top, on his hands and knees, leaning his head down to kiss her. His dick hovered, pointing straight out, about two inches above her.

“The thing is,” Gillian said, running her hands under the vest across his skin, “I know I could never be with a bio guy. I'm just not attracted to them. I hope that's not, like, offensive . . . Aiden told me never to tell you that.”

“That's . . . OK,” said Adam. All he could feel was a mind-blotting hot core of pleasure at the tip of his dick.

Gillian pulled off her T-shirt and unhooked her bra, pushing them onto the floor. The streetlights glowed through the window on her two perfect tits with hard pink nipples. Adam dropped his head and slid his tongue across them.

Gillian started breathing heavy. “I don't see why it's so bad,” she said, in between breaths, “liking you just how you are . . .”

She reached down and pulled her jeans off too. Her underwear was thin, and Adam could see a mat of dark hair underneath. He put his hand over the underwear, and it was soft and wet. Gillian breathed harder, opening her legs.

Adam inched back on his knees and slipped the underwear off. He cupped his hand over her again, and this time his fingers slid inside.

“Yes . . .” Gillian said softly.

He moved his fingers in and out, and then brought his head down and pressed his tongue against the slick pink flesh, poking out between the hair.
The clit
, he thought.

“Oh god . . .” said Gillian.

It tasted like sweat and saliva, and Adam kept pushing with his fingers and sliding with his tongue, praying that he was doing it right, which it seemed like he actually might be because Gillian's breaths were getting louder and faster, and he moved quicker and harder to match her, and soon it was all a frenzied blur of tongue and wet and clit and breaths and push, and then Gillian stopped and her legs stretched out and she gasped in a way that startled Adam and she tried to pull him on top of her, but he couldn't because his dick had never been so hard and huge in his entire life and was totally visible trying to jam its way out of his buttonhole jeans. He fell onto his side next to her.

Gillian leaned up and kissed him, smearing the wetness that was all over his face onto her own.

“You're really good at that,” she said.

“Thanks,” said Adam. His dick felt like a magnet, trying to get at any part of Gillian's body. He rolled over onto his stomach.

“I really want to do something to you . . .” said Gillian. “Make you come . . .”

Adam said nothing.

“I mean, whatever you're cool with,” she said. “I totally get it if you don't want to . . . I mean . . . but I want to . . .”

Adam stayed silent. He wondered if Gillian could hear his heart.

“What do you usually do . . . ?” she asked.

“I don't know,” whispered Adam.