Adams Grove 03-Wedding Cake and Big Mistakes (24 page)

The next day, Carolanne stood in the middle of the living room in her new house. She hadn’t seen or heard from Connor since the big blowup, but she’d successfully moved every single box out of the apartment without his help.

Even though there wasn’t one piece of furniture here yet, it already felt like home—besides that the tension with Connor was too much.
This is where I belong.
She tried to picture her furniture and the pictures she’d picked out for each accent wall.

Three fast raps pounded on her front door.

My first company!

She jogged through the space, sliding to the door on the hardwood floors in her socks. Without even bothering to look through the peephole, she swung the door open, expecting to see Jill and Garrett since she’d called them earlier about using the trailer.

She froze for a two-count. “Dad? What are…? Come in. How are you feeling today?”
Did Connor tell him?

He looked like he was stuck in neutral, bobbing forward a little but not taking a step. “I saw your car. I hope you don’t mind me stopping by. If it’s not a good—”

“It’s fine. Are you OK?”

“I’m fine. Fine.” His mouth kept moving, but it was like he was on mute, because nothing was coming out.

“Come in. I’ll show you around.” She forced a smile and stepped aside so he could enter. “Garrett lent me his guys. They are bringing the furniture over later. I’m just waiting on them.” It was good that Garrett had offered them up because there was no way she was going to ask for Connor’s help after yesterday.

He looked nervous but not mad. How would she explain herself if Connor had already told him with his own personal slant on things, like she was a villainess?

“I brought something for you.” He turned and walked back outside, and for a moment, she thought maybe the knock to the head had him totally wonked out and he was leaving, but instead, he squatted to lift something from the deacon’s bench on the porch. The large box had been labeled at one time, but the years had faded the black marker past recognition. He carried the awkwardly wide box inside, turning sideways to fit through the front door.

“Is it heavy? I can help you with that.”

“It’s not heavy.” Ben hoisted the box up with his knee to get a better grip.

She brushed a hand through her hair. “You didn’t need to bring me anything.”

“I know. It’s something I wanted you to have, though, and now seemed like a good time. Something that seems perfect as you start another phase of your life.”

She walked up behind him. “You can set it down back here on the kitchen counter.”

He followed her through the living room to the kitchen and set the box down, glancing around the spacious open floor plan. “You’ve done real good for yourself, kiddo.”

He walked over to the French doors. “You’ve got a great view of the pastures and the pond. You’ve worked really hard for this. I’m proud of you, Carolanne. I know I’ve never told you that enough.”

“Thanks,” she answered softly.

“Your mother—she’d have been proud of the woman you’ve become. You’re so much like her. Strong.”

The love showed in his green eyes when he spoke.
You still love her as much today as you did when I was a little girl.

He must have been nervous, because he started talking faster and faster, but facing this overdue conflict scared the heck out of her, too. She could tell he was struggling to maintain control of his emotions. “I know I can’t take any credit for the wonderful woman you are. I’ll never get those years I wasted back. It’s a tough pill to swallow. I’m glad you did so well in spite of me.”

“Neither one of us should live in the past.”

He looked relieved. “I’m glad to hear you say that.”

“It’s time we both tried to move forward.”
I’m dying to ask you about Gina. How can I ask you without you knowing I was there? Maybe your vision just wasn’t clear after the accident. That could be it.

“Agreed. Won’t keep me from thanking the good Lord for Pearl stepping in the way she did, though. Don’t know what would’ve happened if she hadn’t been there for the both of us all those years.”

“I miss her.”

“Me, too. You know, I worry about you being alone. With Jill and Garrett getting married, I’ve been thinking about that even more. Have you?”

“A little.”

“You need more than just work in your life. You deserve someone special to share the good times with and to be there in the not-so-good ones.”

“I’ve really never thought of myself as the marrying kind.”
Until recently.
“I’m happy the way things are. I’m going to start taking yoga classes, and I’m going to be really busy decorating my house. I’ll probably help Jill out with things at the artisan center. It’s all good.”

“That’s not the kind of thing I was talking about. I know I didn’t set a fine example of men, but don’t hold that against the rest of the world. The love I shared with your mother was more important to me than my own life. I’m sorry I let you down in the process. So, so sorry.” Tears glistened in his eyes.

“Everyone mourns differently.”

“I didn’t go about it in too healthy a way. I’m sorry for that. I don’t expect you to ever forgive me, but I hope you find a love like I had with your mother. It’s true it tore me right out of the frame when I lost her, but I spent the best days of my life with her. I wouldn’t trade a single one of them.”

It scares me to death to think how much that hurt.
“So what’s in the box?”

Ben’s voice softened. “It was your mother’s. The wedding—it got me to thinking.”

She stared at the box, then glanced up at him.

“Open it,” Ben urged her.

Carolanne raised her hand, then hesitantly tugged on the tape. It had lost its stickiness over the years and pulled back easily. She lifted one of the cardboard flaps, and the top of the box sprung open. Tissue paper, folded neatly across the top, had yellowed from years of heat and dust.

She glanced at her dad, wondering what was in the box. She moved the paper gently to the side. A small gasp was all she could manage.

She laid her hands on the fine fabric. Unlike the tissue paper, the dress had remained white, and the intricate needlework was simple but elegant.

“I can still picture the first moment I laid eyes on your mother in that dress.” A smile and faraway look came across his face. “I’d never seen a more beautiful woman.”

Carolanne lifted the dress out of the box. “It’s lovely.”

“There are a few other special things she’d put away for you in there, too.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I know it’s long overdue.”

“This isn’t about that stupid bouquet, is it? That’s—”

“No, Carolanne. It’s not about you catching the bouquet.”

“But—”

“Your mother would’ve wanted you to have it a long time ago.”

“She was about my size?”

“Yes. I think you’re exactly the same height that she was, too.”

Carolanne went to the hall closet and found a heavy wooden suit hanger. She carried it back over and slipped the hanger into the shoulders of the gown, then hung it from the top of the door. She stepped back and took in a long breath. “It’s so pretty.”

“Not real fancy. Your momma wasn’t like that, but she looked absolutely stunning walking down the aisle in that dress.”

“It’s beautiful.” She tugged the hem of the tea-length gown, pulling some of the wrinkles free. “Timeless, really. Dad, I can’t take this from you.”

“Don’t be silly. She’d want you to have it, Carolanne. Our wedding day was the best day of our lives. I hope it brings you the same kind of joy we shared.”

Tears welled, but she was maintaining control.

“You might never wear it. That’s perfectly fine, but you should have it.” He reached over and took her hand in his own.

His weathered hand looked tan and rough against her delicate skin.

A sob caught in her throat.

“It’s OK, honey.” He pulled her close and hugged her. “I never had one second thought about getting married to your mother. No cold feet. No desire for a crazy bachelor party. I knew how lucky I was to find my perfect match. But I didn’t expect the impact of seeing her step around the corner in that dress. She took my breath away. Literally. If your Uncle Reggie hadn’t been standing
next to me, I’d have landed on the ground like one of them fainting goats.
Thunk.
”

She laughed though the tears still fell. “Look…My hands are sweating just thinking about it now.”

“Don’t be afraid of love. It’s a good thing.”

“It’s a hassle.”

“No. It’s a blessing.” Ben walked back over to the box. “These are pictures from our wedding day. I’d never even seen some of these pictures until the other day when I got this box out and went through it. They are of your mom and her girlfriends at the bridal shower and getting dressed the morning of the wedding. Some of them are funny.”

He pulled one from the stack. “Look at this one. She has a garter on her head. Now, that’s funny. I don’t care who you are. That’s funny.”

Carolanne took the picture and held it in her hands. “Oh my gosh.”

“I forgot how silly she could be.”

She exchanged a smile with him. “We do look alike.”

“Oh yeah. Very much so. You’ve always favored her.”

Carolanne flipped through the crisp black pages of the photo album. The pictures had faded over time, but each was tucked between little corner mounts, and most had the dates and a caption under them. “Look how small the church was back then. Oh my goodness. It looks so little.”

Ben shook his head. “The addition on the church didn’t come for quite a while after we got married.”

“Dad, are you sure you want to let go of all of this?”

“I want you to have it. You need to know, and remember, how happy our life was. You’re hesitating about men and relationships. I know it. I can see it. You need to live your life without worrying about the what-ifs. A safe life can keep you from finding and living the real happiness you’re meant to find.”

She hugged the box of memorabilia to her chest. “Sometimes I have trouble remembering her. I don’t want to forget. Especially the good things.”

“You were young. It was hard. I wasn’t there. I wish I had been.”

“It’s easier to remember the bad things, but don’t.” She raised a hand. “Don’t, Dad. We need to just leave it in the past. You can’t live your whole life being sorry. I can’t live mine being mad at you. It’s just wrong.”

“I want to be there for you. I want to know you don’t hate me.”

“I don’t hate you. I really don’t. One step at a time.”

“It’ll be nice to have you so close. I mean, with me working right over at the artisan center and all, I could help you with your yard.”

“That would be great. I don’t know anything about that stuff.”

“I could teach you. You even have room for a garden if you choose to go that route. Nothing like digging your hands in good rich soil to make you appreciate the bounty of nature, and what an awesome reward you get from a garden.”

“I think for now I’d just like to have some grass.”

“You see what I did with the artisan center grass.”

“I know. That place looks like a golf course.”

“Thanks. I can do that here, too.”

“That would be amazing. Thanks.”

“I know you want to get unpacked, and I don’t want you to feel like you need to go through this stuff now. I just wanted you to have it. I love you, Carolanne.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

He headed toward the front door.

“Dad, wait.”

He stopped a few feet from the door and turned.

At this moment, he looked ten years younger. Years of stress that had hung between them had lifted.
Do I dare take a chance on ruining this moment?
“I need to ask you something.”

“Sure. Anything.”

Am I sabotaging the progress we just made? God, I hope not. Please have a good answer.
As casually as she could manage, she started, “The other morning, when I came to pick you up in the hospital, Scott was there.”

“Yeah. You don’t think I was drinking, do you?”

“No, no.” Although she
had
been guilty of that, she really didn’t need to go there now. “Um, this is about that girl who died in the pond, the one they found during the reception. I overheard you tell Scott you didn’t know her, but Dad…”

She closed her eyes. It was too hard to look him in the eye and ask.

“I know you knew her. I saw her come out of your house the night before they found her.”

There. She’d said it.

Tears streamed down her face, and there was no way she could stop them. Fear, hope, confusion—a mixture of emotion left her standing there wondering if she’d done the right thing by asking.
Do I really want to know?

She leveled her gaze on him. He didn’t look guilty, but he did look defeated.

He hesitated, seeming to measure her for a moment. “I shouldn’t have lied to Scott. Don’t even know why I did, except that it was such a shock.”

He looked like he might pass out. His voice shook. “I need some air. Can we sit on the porch?”

She nodded and followed him out to the only piece of furniture she had, the deacon’s bench.

He sat down and she sat next to him. He took her hand in his.

“I can promise you, Carolanne, I had nothing to do with that girl’s death.”

“Why was she at your house? What’s the connection?”
Are you her father? Oh God, I can’t ask if he cheated on Mom.

“Well, none to start with.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“I’d never met her. I knew her mom. When I saw her, I knew instantly she was Lindsey’s daughter. It was like the girl I knew in high school had shown up on my couch.”

“On your couch?”

“Yeah. That’s how I knew how to get into the back sliding door. Gina had been breaking into my house while I was at work. I had no idea until that week we had five days in row of ninety-plus heat. Remember?”

She nodded, wondering how it all connected.

“Jill sent me home. Told me I could split up my time between early mornings and late evenings to beat the heat. I came home to find Gina sleeping on my couch. With her boots on, no less.”