Adam's Promise (20 page)

There was Diana, all smiles and laughter, playing her heart out on the pianoforte while Lord Blackthorne turned the pages for her and sang along. What a silly little ditty it was that they played. Madeline had never heard it before.

Contrarily, Adam sat in the chair by the fire with one leg crossed over the other, gazing dolefully into the flames.

Madeline's knees went weak at the sight of him in the firelight, looking so handsome and elegant. So somber. She longed to throw all her foolish caution to the wind and go to him. Pull him to his feet and tell him nothing mattered more to her than he did, for no one in her life had ever treated her better, or managed to open her eyes to what real love truly was.

It wasn't about loyalty or duty, she realized. It was about tenderness and affection and kindness. It was about how you treated someone.

Madeline took a deep breath and slowly approached her sister. She didn't even wait for the song she was playing to come to an end. Madeline tapped Diana on the shoulder.

“I need to talk to you, Diana. It's very important. Would you gentlemen excuse us, please?”

T
he men retreated to Adam's study for brandy, and Diana glared up at Madeline from the piano bench. “That was very rude, Madeline! What did you think you were doing? Lord Blackthorne is an important man.”

Madeline sat down beside her. “Yes, and I like him very much, but this could not wait.”

“What could not wait? La, you'd think the house was on fire.”

“It is, in a way.”

“What in the world are you trying to say? As usual, you're making no sense at all. Selfish, selfish, selfish.”

Madeline held up her hand. “Diana, stop.”

To Madeline's surprise, Diana
did
stop. She gazed at Madeline with surprise, waiting for her to say what she wanted to say.

Madeline tried to speak clearly and confidently. “I know that you've been through a difficult time, and you're still not entirely better yet, but there is something you need to know about the day of your acci
dent. Something happened, and there was a reason you went riding onto the marsh alone. This may come as a shock to you, but you were looking for me to tell me something, and—”

Diana wiggled on the bench to face Madeline. “Wait, wait. Since we're being honest with each other, I have something to tell you, too. I was afraid to tell you, because we have been growing so close lately…”

Growing so close lately?

“…and I know that you stayed here with Adam all this time to wait for me to finally arrive to marry him.”

Distracted by the interruption, and losing her concentration, Madeline stared blankly at her sister.

Diana continued. “The truth is, I need your help. I don't know what to do.”

“What kind of help?”

Diana clasped both Madeline's hands in hers. “Oh, my dearest sister. I am suffering.”

“Why? What's—”

“Madeline, I can't marry Adam! And I don't know how to tell him.”

Madeline slowly swallowed. “I beg your pardon?”

“I can't marry him!” She glanced over her shoulder and lowered her voice to a whisper. “I thought I wanted to when I arrived, but life here is just not what I thought it would be.
Adam
is not what I thought he would be. He always…oh, heavens Madeline, he smells like the
outdoors.
”

“He's a farmer,” Madeline said dryly.

“I know! That's exactly it!”

Madeline tried to keep herself from physically shaking her sister.

“All that aside, the real problem now is that I'm afraid I've fallen in love with someone else.”

Trying to focus on Diana's lips moving, Madeline shook her head. “Who? You mean…”

“Yes, the viscount. He adores me, Madeline, but he respects Adam and does not wish to do anything dishonorable.”

“Are you sure? Has he confessed his feelings to you?”

She whispered even more quietly. “Yes. He told me tonight, while you were outside with Mr. Metcalf. Incidentally, what happened out there?”

Madeline's reply came out light and airy, as if her words were floating languidly on her disbelief. “He proposed to me.”

“Heavens. What did you say?”

“I said no.”

“But why?”

“Because I don't love him.”

She waved a dismissive hand. “Well, you could do better anyway.” Then she shifted the topic back to herself faster than Madeline could say
pox on you.

“As I was saying, Adam left us alone for a few minutes, and Lord Blackthorne told me how he felt. He said I was the most beautiful creature in the world, and that he wished I were free, and that if I were, he would take me to Government House and make me his viscountess. Imagine—a viscountess!”

Madeline felt the color drain from her cheeks. “But you barely know each other.”

Diana sighed dreamily. “Sometimes, you
just know.
”

Madeline stood up and paced the room. “I don't know what to say, Diana.”

“You don't have to say anything. Just help me.”

“You want me to
help
you? After the way you've treated me? After the way you treated Adam fifteen years ago, leading him on only to cast him aside?”

“Please, that is precisely why I need you—to lessen the blow. You must try to convince Adam that I am all wrong for him. Perhaps you can prepare him. I feel beastly about it, Madeline, honestly I do, for I remember how I shattered his heart all those years ago and ruined his life, and here I am, about to do it again. I am such a cruel, cruel person! Why do marriage proposals keep coming at me like this? From all directions so that I am forced to break hearts?”

Clearing her throat, Madeline continued to pace. Her anger at her self-centered sister was rising up in her again, and she was beginning to form words and sentences in her mind—nasty, insulting, biting ways to tell Diana the truth: that Adam didn't want to marry her in the first place! The only reason he hadn't broken it off with her before was because Madeline had begged him not to!

She took a breath to say it, but Diana interrupted her again. “Oh, Madeline, you must help Adam get over me. Will you take care of him? Will you stay here and try to mend his broken heart? I know he enjoys your company and you share an interest in
gardening. Perhaps you could encourage a union between the two of you? He's a good man, Madeline, and you deserve to be happy. Do you think…do you think you could ever love him?”

Madeline stared dumbfounded at her sister. The look in her eyes…Madeline had never seen it before. She wasn't even sure what it was. Pleading? Remorse? Desperation?

“Diana, I—”

Diana reached for her hand and pulled her down to sit beside her again. “Madeline, I am a dreadful sister. I know it. But I've been doing a lot of thinking lately—I haven't been able to do much of anything else—and I
do
want you to be happy. I want things to be right.”

Right?
Could it be that Diana remembered that Adam had broken off their engagement? Or did she just
suspect
that there were feelings between Madeline and Adam, and this was her way of holding on to her dignity and pride?

Madeline treaded cautiously into her next question. “What makes you think I could love Adam?”

Diana tilted her head and grinned. “Honestly, Madeline, you're my sister. You've always loved him, ever since you were a child following Adam and I around everywhere.”

Feeling an odd mixture of embarrassment for having her secret known, and tenderness for her sister in the wake of what seemed like a backward attempt to make up for her behavior lately, Madeline took in a deep, cleansing breath. She squeezed her sister's hand. “I
am
in love with him.”

Diana slowly absorbed her confession. She laid a gentle hand on Madeline's cheek. “Yet, when you thought I loved him, you kept it to yourself. How you must have suffered. Your loyalty and your sacrifice makes me feel so ashamed.”

Madeline gazed into her sister's beautiful blue eyes, glistening with sentimental tears, something Madeline had never seen in Diana before.
Ashamed?

Diana stroked a lock of hair back off Madeline's forehead. The gesture was familiar, for Diana had always done that when Madeline was a child, snuggling into bed at night.

“I'm sorry for the way things have turned out between us,” Diana said. “I have been positively wretched to you. When I found out what Father had done, I came on the first ship out of Scarborough because I…I didn't want you to have what I considered mine. Just as I didn't want you to wear my ribbons, even though I wasn't wearing them anymore. And I had unrealistic fantasies about Adam. I wanted to be young and innocent again. I wanted to go back to those days when he came calling and all I knew was that he adored me. But he was never right for me. He talked about farming all the time, and as you know, I didn't have the slightest interest in anything to do with dirt. But you…my little sister, the gardener.”

Warm, tender emotions rose up in Madeline like a swift tide; her eyes filled with tears. Diana pulled her close and hugged her.

“Adam was never meant to be mine, Madeline. He
was meant for you. You're the one he loves. He told me so.”

Madeline squeezed her eyes shut against the tears. “You remember.”

“Yes. I might as well admit it now. I remembered everything the second day after the accident. And I'm sorry for the way I've treated you. I wanted to punish you and push you away so that I could take back what I considered mine. But then you came the other day to apologize to
me!
I was angry at first because you made me feel like such a cruel monster—which I am!—but then I realized how horribly I had always treated you, and I am desperate to make up for it, Madeline. I want to be a better person. I want to be more like you. Can you ever forgive me? Can we be close, as you wanted us to be?”

Madeline threw her arms around Diana. “Of course we can. It's all I've ever wanted. I was just afraid to open up to you.”

“But you did, and I am so glad. At least one of us had the courage.”

Madeline knew she had Adam to thank for that.

“But are you sure you want to go with Lord Blackthorne?” Madeline asked. “He's not just an escape for you, is he? A way to give Adam to me, because I won't let you make that kind of sacrifice. There are other ways—”

“I know the viscount is not the most handsome man in the world, Madeline, but it may surprise you to know that looks are not that important to me. He adores me, truly and passionately, and I am in heaven.”

Madeline smiled knowingly. “And he will make you a viscountess.”

“There is that, yes,” Diana replied with a wickedly satisfied glint in her eye. “And when he completes his term here, we will return to his estate in England, and I will live out my days there, moving about society with him, for he is a very popular man.”

It was the perfect life for Diana, that was certain.

Madeline hugged her sister again. “You have made me very happy.” She sat back and gazed at the fire in the hearth. “But all is not yet perfect. I have been unfeeling and distant toward Adam. I can only hope that he will be able to forgive me for shutting him out, and believe that I am capable of love.”

“
I
know that you are, Madeline. You have proven it to me beyond a shadow of a doubt. And if you believe it yourself,” Diana said gently, “he will believe it, too.”

 

Madeline paced back and forth along the oval rug in her candlelit room, wearing only her white nightdress, nothing else. Diana had giddily informed her that she would be leaving the following day with Lord Blackthorne, and they would be married in Halifax as soon as possible. She planned to speak to Adam after breakfast to officially end their betrothal, and to apologize for leaving so soon, with so little notice.

Should Madeline simply stand back and wait for the events to unfold? she wondered, as she continued to pace. Diana would drive away tomorrow, and Madeline would be left behind, standing beside Adam in
the yard, waving goodbye. Everything, if she was lucky, would simply fall into place after that.

Or should she go to Adam now and be the one to tell him what was transpiring? Diana had wanted Madeline to seize the opportunity to take him for her own.

But how was she to tell him?

Should she begin by informing him that he was free, that Diana did not wish to marry him after all, and see where it went from there?

Or should Madeline begin by telling Adam that she had gone to Diana first to tell her the truth—that she had intended to betray her sister and choose a life with him—whether Diana liked it or not?

Would he even believe that?

A part of her was tempted to go with the first option and act only as messenger. She could deliver Diana's news and leave the rest to Adam. Perhaps he would be relieved to know that he would not have to go through the ordeal of breaking with Diana again, and he would take Madeline into his arms and propose.

If only it could be that easy. She would not have to risk pouring out her heart. All she would have to do was say yes.

Oh, but what a cowardly thing—to sit back and simply watch the tide turn.

Madeline blew out her candles and climbed onto the bed. There was a chill in the air, she noticed, wrapping her arms around herself. Her feet were as cold as a couple of frosty turnips. She hopped out of bed again and pulled on a pair of stockings, then
made her way back to the bed and snuggled down, thinking.

The clock ticked. Madeline stared at the ceiling.

Something made her sit up. With a strange quivering feeling, she swept her feet off the bed to the floor again.

Hadn't Adam taught her that love was as much about what you said and did as what you felt inside? She loved him, didn't she? And the key he had given her
had
worked. Diana had proven that to her tonight.

Would it work if Madeline used it on Adam?

With trembling fingers, she lit her candelabra and carried it to her door. She paused there to take a breath. She had to do this. If she didn't, Adam would never know how much he meant to her. He would never know how much she truly loved him.

Madeline reached for the door latch, let herself out into the hall and walked apprehensively toward his door.