Admission (22 page)

I STOOD AT THE END
of Bruce’s hospital bed while Alec sat in a chair on the other side. Bruce was conscious, but he didn’t react when we walked into the room. His hair was slicked back, and he looked tired and pale. Tubes were attached to his arm, and he breathed slowly.

“Doing okay, buddy?” Alec asked him.

Bruce looked at him in slow motion, his eyes reminding me of a hundred nights spent with him completely stoned.

“Who did this?” Bruce said in barely more than a whisper.

“Who did you see?” I couldn’t help asking him, wanting to speak before Alec could.

“I don’t know. No one I knew.”

“You’re going to be okay,” Alec said.

“They didn’t know how to contact your parents,” I said.

Alec shot an angry glare at me. “His mother passed away a few years ago.”

“Alec …” Bruce murmured, still wanting an answer.

“I don’t know.”

“Why?” Bruce asked him.

“I think you know why.”

“Do you know why?” I asked Alec.

“You
still
think I had something to do with this?” Alec cursed in frustration. “Bruce, tell him. Go on, tell him.”

“What?” Bruce asked, his voice weak and quiet.

“Get him off my tail.”

“Jake—get off his tail.”

Alec looked at me and couldn’t help laughing. “No—tell him the truth.”

“About?”

“Did I trash your place? Or knock Jake out? Or do this to you?”

“Maybe you should’ve just let me find you,” I said to Alec, “and none of this would have happened.”

Bruce said he was thirsty, and Alec gave him a cup of water from the table next to the bed.

“It’s nobody’s business what I do with my life,” Alec said. “Not yours, not Jelen’s, not Claire’s, nobody’s.”

“I’m not going back home,” Bruce whispered.

I wondered if he was referring to Redding.

Alec stood beside Bruce and gently brushed back his hair, the way a father might do with his child. He glanced at me, and for the first time that day, I trusted him. Something about that act and that look said that he genuinely cared about Bruce, that he wouldn’t have done something like this, that it wasn’t his fault.

The phone in my pocket vibrated. I picked it up.

“You’re there—Jake, where are you?”

It was Alyssa. She sounded terrified.

“What’s wrong?”

“A man came by tonight. To my house. I didn’t mean to open the door, but I thought it was you surprising me, so stupid me I opened the door—”

“Are you okay?” I barked out, already heading toward the hospital exit.

“I think—I don’t know. I called the police.”

“Is he gone? Did he hurt you?”

“He just threatened me. He came inside my house—and told me to call you.”

I was running, keeping the cell phone to my ear as I made my way down a hallway.

“You called the cops?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Just—what’d he say?”

There was a pause.

“Alyssa?”

“He told me that if you didn’t leave—he would come back. And that he wouldn’t—” She was crying now.

“Alyssa, are you all right?”

“He said that he wouldn’t leave me untouched.”

I was outside now and heading to the parking garage. “I’m going to be there in a few minutes. Just hang tight.”

“Jake? What’s going on?”

“I don’t exactly know. But I think I finally understand who’s behind this.”

“I’m scared.”

“Just—don’t say anything to the police.”

“About what?” she asked.

“About me. Just say—say a guy came over and threatened you.”

“Are you in danger?”

“I think so. But I won’t be for long. I promise you that.”

I was pulling out of the parking garage when a figure darted in front of the car. I jammed on the brakes and saw Alec waving me down.

“Where are you dashing off to?” he asked after I rolled my window down.

“Someone threatened Alyssa.”

I saw the look change on his face. It grew more grim. I still didn’t know what he was thinking, but he appeared surprised.

“I swear—if something happens to her—”

“What do you want me to do?” Alec asked.

“You’ve done enough.”

“How can I prove I didn’t have anything to do with this? With Bruce. Or Alyssa.”

“Show me.”

“And if I do—then what?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I just—I gotta go.”

“Give me your cell number.”

I listed off the numbers as Alec saved them in his phone.

“I’ll call you in a little while,” he said.

“What for?”

“For proof. For answers.”

EVERYTHING WAS DIFFERENT
. Everyone and everything.

Except maybe Bruce. He seemed like the only one who
hadn’t
changed after a month of lies, secrets, and silence.

“You gotta stop smokin’ that stuff,” Jake said, coming out of the bathroom.

“Huh?” Bruce said.

“There’s a bong in our tub.”

“Oh, sorry ’bout that.”

Bruce lay on the couch smoking a cigarette, his eyes droopy and barely able to stay open. Jake wondered what the guy’s lungs looked like.

“That’s making your mind go to mush.”

“Yeah, I know,” Bruce said.

“You seen Carnie?” Jake asked.

“Nah.”

“He’s never around anymore.”

“Nobody is.”

“I’m worried about him.”

Bruce looked at him with the same absent expression.

I’m trying to have a deep conversation with a guy who’s been stoned out of his mind for the last two weeks
.

“Never mind,” Jake said.

“Sure thing,” Bruce said.

Maybe it would be better that way
, Jake thought.
Maybe that’s what I need to get through these last few weeks of school
.

Bruce didn’t seem to notice when Jake said good-bye.

He was walking from class when he saw her.

So the rumors were true.

Alyssa walked alongside a tall guy he had only seen but didn’t know. He was a jock. Probably had been friends with Brian Erwin. He was good-looking with short hair and a smile he flashed as he spoke to Alyssa.

They held hands as they walked.

Wonderful
, Jake thought.

He tried to find a way to go the other direction without Alyssa seeing him. But her dark eyes spotted him. By the time the couple reached him, they had stopped holding hands. Jake passed them and simply nodded. Alyssa looked as if she wanted to say something, but the guy she was with continued talking.

Jake kept walking for a few moments until he heard Alyssa’s voice call out his name.

He stopped and turned around. She was standing there alone. Her boyfriend or friend or guy or whatever was still walking toward the classroom building.

“Hey,” she said. “I haven’t seen you for a while.”

“I’ve been trying to be a diligent student to finish out my Providence career.”

She looked at him as if to study his face. “Things going okay?”

“Never been better,” Jake said, trying to make a joke. It came out sounding hollow.

God, what it would be to tell someone—to tell her—the truth
.

“Jake—the last time we talked—”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jake said, giving his best smile as if he had moved on.

“I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize. It’s fine. No big deal.”

Alyssa didn’t believe it, and Jake knew she didn’t. The truth was out there, and it was awkward and it hurt. He liked someone who didn’t like him. That was reality.

It used to matter. Now things like that seemed trivial.

“Still acing those classes?” Jake asked.

“Sure, I guess,” she said, not wanting to change the subject.

“I better go. You know. Big brother is watching.”

Alyssa looked as though there was more she wanted to say, but she just nodded. She forced a smile and told him to take care.

Take care
, he thought.
Yeah. Sure
.

“Get in the car.”

Jake looked at the Jeep that had pulled up on the grass next to the sidewalk and saw Alec behind the wheel. He looked like a wreck. Dark stubble covered his face and his hair looked more spiked than usual. There were huge rings beneath his eyes.

Jake kept walking. “I got class.”

“Get in the car now!”

A freshman girl passing by looked at Jake. He opened the door and climbed in.

“You moron,” he said to Alec.

“Why don’t you shut your hole and just listen, okay?” Alec tore out of the college driveway and headed away from the campus.

“Going anywhere in particular?”

“No,” Alec said.

“Then why’d you pick me up?”

“You weren’t doing anything.”

“I was going to class.”

Alec cursed.

“Yeah, well, I’ve got a sinking GPA, and I need to try and do something to resuscitate it.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway.”

“Have you been drinking?” Jake asked, smelling Alec’s breath.

“Surprised?”

“It doesn’t smell like beer.”

“Gin usually doesn’t.”

Jake decided to put on his seat belt, and this amused Alec.

“A little uptight?”

“Alec, come on. What’s the deal?”

“What’s the deal? What’s
my
deal? You’re the one who won’t hang out, who leaves when I come over, who doesn’t want to go out.”

“Why should I?”

“That’s what friends do.”

“Friends are honest with each other,” Jake said as Alec swerved into the turnoff lane to get onto the expressway.

“And what are you implying?”

“I’m not implying anything. I’m telling you point-blank.”

“You think I’ve been lying to you this whole time?”

“Yep. You and Franklin and Carnie.”

Alec scoffed and sped up. It was around ten, and traffic was light. “Don’t compare me to Franklin. I’m nothing like Franklin.”

“You’re more alike than you know.”

Alec’s leg jammed down on the accelerator.

“Slow down,” Jake said, gripping the armrest.

“All I’ve done is try to help you.”

“That’s what Franklin says.” Jake looked at the speedometer. They were going over a hundred miles an hour. “I said slow down!”

“You don’t believe me, do you?” Alec shouted. “You think I had something to do with Brian’s death, don’t you?”

“Who said he’s dead?” Jake said.

Alec cursed at him again and kept his foot on the gas. “Who’s lying now?”

“I don’t know what I’d be lying about!” Jake watched the lanes in front of him.

“I picked you up and you were drenched in blood. Am I making that up?”

“Slow down!”

“Didn’t I tell you to just shut up and get in the car?”

“But you didn’t tell me anything about that night.”

Alec turned the wheel and crossed four lanes and ran up along a four-wheeler and then in front of him. They were going 120 miles an hour. The car was shaking, as if it was giving all it could.

“Alec, come on.”

Traffic was getting more dense ahead.

“I don’t care about any of this. Not a bit, you get that?” Alec shouted.

“Yeah, I get it.”

“No, you don’t. I don’t want you thinking I’m a liar. I don’t care—“

“Alec!”

The Jeep swerved and almost careened out of control.

“Remember that time you were driving and almost killed the two of us?” Alec asked.

“Get me out of this car.”

“You owe me for that night.”

“Yeah, fine, okay.”

“Tell me you trust me,” Alec said.

The car continued to shake, and Alec veered violently and clipped the back of a Ford.

Jake tried to grab his leg.

“You do that again and I’ll let go.”

“You’re insane.”

“Yeah, but I’m not a liar.”

“Fine.”

“Say that you trust me.”

“Fine. I trust you.”

“I want you to mean it!”

Alec’s intensity terrified Jake.

“I mean it.”

Jake jerked the wheel to avoid ramming a car that was going half the speed they were.

“I swear to God, Jake, I don’t care—”

“
Fine!
I believe you!”

“You swear?”

“Slow down!”

Alec looked at him and then jammed on the brakes, making
the Jeep jerk and go sideways for a second. He released the brake, and they continued to drive with the regular traffic.

Jake realized he had been holding the arm of the door for dear life.

“I may be a lot of things, but I’m not a liar,” Alec said. “And all I’ve done is try to help you.”

“You’re trying to kill us.”

“And so what? Would it be any worse than things are now? Would it?”

Jake didn’t answer.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Alec spit out.

It was the last conversation, if it could be called a conversation, that Alec and Jake would have for another ten years. A week later, Alec went missing, just like Brian Erwin. No goodbye, no hint of where he was going, no nothing.