Adventures in Funeral Crashing (15 page)

It was a toss up here, should I lie or tell
the truth? The more lies you told, the harder it was to keep it up,
and I knew absolutely nothing about art. I hadn’t even been to an
art museum since grade school, “Just 101. You make it sound so
neat, though. It would be cool to see the work you’ve already
done.”

And, I really meant that, murderer or not. I
was hoping it was the not, though.

We were almost at his classroom, when Troy
slowed down. “Thanks. Hey, my class starts in a few minutes, but
would you want to maybe hang out after? I’m Troy, by the way.”

I panicked. Was Troy asking me out? No guy
had ever asked me out. I hadn’t expected Troy to ask me out. I had
only wanted to get a sense of him, who he was. Is this how you did
get a guy to ask you out? By not wanting him to? How did that
work?

“So?” Troy asked as my silence stretched on
eternally.

“Uh…” My tongue was tied. What did one say in
this situation?

Troy started backtracking, “It’s cool if you
can’t. I just thought…”

“How about tonight? And, my name’s Kait,” I
said before Troy reneged on the invitation. Words had managed to
form in my brain again, although I couldn’t believe I had just made
a date with a guy, even if he might be a murderer.

“Kait,” Troy repeated my name, “Do you have a
phone number so I can call you?”

Fifteen minutes later, after hiding in the
Art building’s bathroom until I knew that Troy’s class had begun, I
started walking back to Ethan’s car.

I had a date with Troy! Was it scary that my
first date ever might be with a serial killer? I didn’t think he
was our serial killer anymore, actually, but there still had to be
some connection between him and the dead girls, since he knew them
all. Not that I could really be a hundred percent sure about my gut
instinct, of course.

I thought about our date. I should definitely
make sure that we met at a very public place just in case and that
he didn’t follow me home or anything. Wow, it was crazy. I had an
actual date! I couldn’t believe Troy had wanted to ask me out! I
had tried to look kind of cute today for Ethan, but maybe it had
worked on Troy instead.

I was happy to see that Ethan was waiting for
me by his car, until he saw me. As, I walked the last few steps
toward him, Ethan ran toward me, grabbing my arms, and staring down
into my face with wild eyes, “Are you crazy?!?! I’ve been out here
trying not to call the police. Where have you been?”

And then the most amazing thing happened.
Ethan hugged me. It was a real hug too. I could smell the cologne
he had on. It smelled almost sweet and the butterflies in my
stomach were going crazy as he clutched me to him, stroking my
hair. I felt myself melt into him. I could stay in this parking lot
forever in Ethan’s arms. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged
him back. He held me closer. His hands were stroking my hair. My
face was pressed into his chest and all I could breathe in was his
cologne, a scent that I would now always associate with Ethan
Ripley and this hug. This was better than any peanut butter
milkshake Wired could ever make me. It was heaven on earth wrapped
in an amazing sweet smelling guy. My heart was on air. That was the
only way I could explain this feeling. It was the best day ever
times ten.

I was in bliss for probably only about thirty
seconds before Ethan let me go and the yelling started. Ethan
didn’t even give me a chance to tell him the good news about my
date with Troy before he started in on me. I must have really
worried him.

“I thought we had decided that we weren’t
going to talk to him! What did you think you were doing? What if
something happened!” Ethan was waving his hands and everything.

I got in the car calmly and Ethan followed,
like I hoped he would. I didn’t want to cause a scene, “Nothing
happened. It’s completely fine.”

“Thank God,” Ethan raked a hand through his
hair (silky hair…) and turned to face me. “Don’t ever do that
again.”

“Okay,” I nodded, hoping I could keep my
promise.

“Okay,” he said and started the car.

We were silent as Ethan pulled out of the
parking spot. I knew I had to tell him, so I just said it, “Troy
asked me out and I said yes.”

Ethan slammed on the breaks, screeching the
car to a halt.

It took a lot
of convincing for Ethan to let me go on the date. I know it’s not
like he was jealous or anything, but it was kind of nice to see
Ethan all concerned about me going out with Troy. I tried to tell
Ethan about how I didn’t think Troy could possibly be the killer,
but he didn’t care. He said that every girl that Troy knew seemed
to end up dead. I couldn’t argue with that, but I did remind Ethan
that this could be an excellent way to get some dirt out of Troy.
He finally agreed, if he could come with. I argued with Ethan, but
he wouldn’t relent, which is how I ended up agreeing to go on a
double date with me and Troy and Ethan and…

Ethan called Jenna Martin, first, to see if
she wanted to come as his date. He had this idea about shocking
Troy into confessing, with Vanessa Martin’s look alike. Even if
Troy knew about the twin sister thing, it would still be a shock to
see a dead girl’s look alike sitting across from you on a double
date. And, although I could see Ethan’s reasoning and I knew his
calling Jenna was for a good cause, I tried not to feel jealous or
anything as I listened in on his side of the conversation. Ethan
explained the details to her and what we suspected of Troy
Matthews, but Jenna turned Ethan down. Jenna said it was just too
soon for her and if Troy was the killer…she just couldn’t do it.
She’d jump out of her skin getting anywhere near him.

I could see her point. Ethan wanted to call
it off again after talking to Jenna, but I wouldn’t let him. I
still thought I could get something out of Troy by simply talking
to him a little more. Ethan thought I was nuts, but finally agreed
to humor me.

We threw around alternative ideas for last
minute dates, but Ethan seemed set on one in particular. It was the
worst one possible, in my opinion. He was just positive she would
say yes. I didn’t see how she could say no either, but I still
didn’t want Ethan asking her. So, I begged.

And, I pleaded with Ethan about his next
choice, but he wouldn’t listen, which is how I ended up going on a
double date with me and Troy and Ethan and Ariel. Can you believe
it? My first real date ever and I was going with a potential serial
killer, my ex best friend/arch enemy, and the hottest guy in school
that I kind of had a crush on, except he wasn’t going with me. The
potential serial killer who asked me out was pretty cute too,
though, and besides, I didn’t think he had anything to do with the
murders, except for the fact that for some reason he knew most of
the victims. So, maybe it would all work out in the end. I
hoped.

I did feel a little bit better when I heard
Ethan tell Ariel that he expected her to be nice to me. I could
hear whines coming from her end of the line, but she must have been
so excited about getting to gloat at being Ethan’s date, that she
agreed anyway. Plus, she was probably hoping that he’d change his
mind and accept her Homecoming invitation. Ariel’s status as a
popular cool girl would go up a couple points if he did. She
couldn’t not accept.

How in the world had Ethan explained being on
double date terms to Ariel? He claimed that I was good friends with
Liz. Ariel wouldn’t know he was lying. She didn’t know any of my
friends anymore or that I didn’t actually really have any. Ethan
told her that I was also a volunteer at the animal shelter and that
he had been helping me get through Liz’s loss. That was possible,
if Ariel really thought about it. She knew I really liked cats, at
least. Ethan then went on to explain that this double date was a
set up to help cheer me up. It was almost laughable, like Ariel
Walker would ever want to cheer me up. She had her chance when my
mom was sick and instead she ditched me and since then all she’d
ever done was make fun of me and spread malicious gossip. I’d
believe she cared when pigs really did fly. Ethan even convinced
Ariel to lie about the whole college class thing, so Troy wouldn’t
know I was lying about being in college. I guess miracles could
happen or Ariel was just really, really, really out to impress
Ethan. My bet was on the latter.

I went home and massacred my closet looking
for something to wear for my first date ever and with a college
guy! My cat Scarlett was enjoying it, though. She was busy jumping
into piles of clothes, as I tossed them aside. I’m glad she was
having fun, but I was in a panic. Troy was definitely cute and if
he didn’t turn out to be a murder suspect maybe I could explain
things and make romantic things work between us anyway, since Ethan
still seemed to be oblivious to thinking about me in any sort of
romantic terms.

I finally settled on a dress that I had never
worn. My aunt had gotten it for me for Christmas the year before,
when she took me on a shopping trip. Despite my protests that it
was too low cut and I knew my boobs would fall out of it so I’d
never wear it, she insisted that someday I might want to wear
something sexy and that since I didn’t have my mom to buy it for
me, she was going to. Then she told me I should definitely hide it
from my dad. I had done just that.

It was perfect for a date. It was a dark blue
dress that clung to me perfectly and showed plenty of skin. Hey, I
know what guys want. I may not normally wear those things, but
believe me I know. Besides, even though I was wearing a clingy
dress, that didn’t mean I would actually give it to him, not on the
first date anyway. The dress actually made the strawberry blonde in
my hair look nice too. I hoped Troy approved of the cleavage I was
sporting. Maybe as a plus, Ethan would notice too. My other outfits
had been way more conservative than this. Maybe he needed a
jump-start to really see me now that he at least thought I was kind
of normal.

Because we didn’t want Troy to know where I
lived, we were all meeting at the date location – a hamburger joint
that was known for its build your own hamburger menu called The
Burger. They really did have the best burgers.

The Burger was always extremely busy, so it
wasn’t like there was any way that Troy was going to have a chance
to get me completely alone and stick a heroin needle in my arm.
Ethan wasn’t taking any chances, though, and told me that he would
be picking me up…for my double date with Troy. His date, Ariel, was
meeting us there too. I knew she’d totally hate that. Ariel was a
pick me up at my house and open the door for me kind of girl. It
would probably be a good idea for the guy to have flowers too if he
wanted anything to happen.

If this wasn’t the weirdest double date ever
already, maybe I would have said something to Ethan about that. Not
that I wanted to do any favors for Ariel where Ethan was concerned
or anything.

Ethan knocked on my door promptly at seven
o’clock. Luckily, my dad had gone over to his friend’s to watch a
basketball game. I was saved from any kind of explaining about
Ethan and the dress. My dad might actually have made me change.

I opened the door and was pleasantly
surprised to see Ethan do a double take. I knew I looked sexy!
Instead Ethan said, “Maybe you should change.”

“Why? What’s wrong with this dress?” I
demanded. I had looked repeatedly in the mirror for the last twenty
minutes and even I had to admit, I looked pretty damn good in this
dress. I didn’t look fat at all and who knew my boobs looked this
good? Not me and now everyone, including Troy and Ethan would. The
dress fit me perfectly. I had to admit, my aunt had good taste.
We’d have to go shopping again this Christmas in case I ever got
asked out on another date.

“I mean, you don’t want to give him the
impression that you actually like him, do you?” Ethan volunteered,
not able to tear his eyes away from me.

“Isn’t that the point of a date? To make your
date think you like him?” I asked, and then as an afterthought
added, “Maybe that’s why you don’t have a Homecoming date. You’re
clueless.”

I knew it was a petty thing to say, but I was
hoping for a reaction and I got one, but not quite the one I was
expecting.

Ethan raised his eyebrows, “Ariel already
asked me, in front of you if I remember right. And, I could have my
pick of any girl. I just haven’t asked her yet.”

“Wow,” I responded with sarcasm.

He could be so arrogant! Well, maybe Troy
would take me to Homecoming, once I cleared him of all murder
suspicion and admitted to him that I was still in high school. I
mean, it’s not like nineteen and sixteen (almost 17!) weren’t close
in age and all.

“I’m wearing this dress. It’s perfect,” I
demanded and to prove my point, walked out of my house, shutting
the door behind me, and walked to his car.

If he had been about to open it for me, like
a real gentleman would, I didn’t wait. I got into the passenger
side and sat down, feeling huffy. Who knew Ethan was a prude in
disguise? I didn’t care if he didn’t like my dress. I knew that
Troy would.

Ethan got into the driver’s seat and looked
at me one more time and said softly, “You know, you do look
pretty.”

And, then he started the car and blared the
music, so I spent the rest of the drive trying to figure out if he
meant that as just an apology or if he really thought I actually
looked pretty. Guys were so confusing.

The Burger was packed when we arrived, even
though it was a Wednesday night. People loved this place. Maybe it
was the weird burger combinations you could make – hamburger with
pineapple and goat cheese, anyone? If you wanted, you could have
that. I was a little more traditional – hamburger with swiss cheese
and avocado. Mmmm, avocado. Sometimes, I even added mushrooms.